"Did you bring the matches?"

I was still looking up, watching the yellow trail left by the departing spaceship dissolve into the sky. At first, Henry's question didn't register.

"What?"

"When you were packing for the trip," Henry opened his designer luggage and fished around in the semi-darkness. "I asked you to bring a roll of foil, and some matches. Wooden matches. Do you have them?"

"I – yeah. Somewhere in my bag," I opened a side compartment and produced a small box of matches, bearing the name of an overpriced downtown restaurant. "Here."

Henry opened a small wooden box and held it out for me. "Cohiba Robustos. Best Cuban cigars on the market."

"That's why you asked me to bring matches across the galaxy?"

Resigned, I took a cigar. Henry lit the end with a wooden match, then lit his own. We stood in the field, silently smoking. Unsure what to do next.

"It looks like I owe you a Rolex," I said, glancing at the expensive timepiece. The Rolex was dirty and scuffed from the ordeal. It didn't look as impressive as it did when I first saw it on Henry's wrist.

"You know, we could go to a jeweler. Have a professional try to take it off?"

"And risk blowing myself up? No way. Sorry Henry, but I think this is my Rolex now."

Henry sighed. "No worries. On our way out, I swiped a few Vicchady Neckties from the warehouse."

"Seriously?"

"Why not? I mean, the damage was already done. To both Zerk and Vicchady. I know a guy back in LA who pays eighty cents on the dollar for high-end retail goods. No questions asked. Actually, it's the same guy who sold me that watch," Henry pointed to my wrist.

"You mean this thing is stolen?"

"Marsh, you just don't ask where it came from." Henry said, brushing ash off the sleeve of his Dior blazer. "Anyway, I can sell him the ties and buy myself a new Rolex. Plus, now that Antonio Vicchady is… no more, we don't have to dip into our own funds to pay him off. So, there's savings there."

"Yeah. We saved some money. Now we're just accessories to a murder on foreign soil."

"That reminds me – did you bring your passport?"

"Yes. Did you?"

"Yeah," Henry said. "Habit, I guess. Well, that's good. We just need to get to the Milan airport, and find the first direct flight back to LAX."

I puffed on the cigar, the nicotine helped cut through some of my brain fog. More than anything, I wanted to crawl into my own bed and take a long nap. But we were still a long way from home, on the other side of the planet, and there was still work to be done.

"We better call Lord Farkvold," I said. "Before he blasts us with another molar-message."

"Yeah," Henry took out his cell and waved it in the air, looking for a signal. "I'm not getting any kind of reception out here."

"The Slatt Territories don't use any of our terrestrial networks. Try it anyway. It should go through."

Henry pressed the button and put the phone on speaker. It flashed a strange pattern of colors across the front, and after a few seconds the unmistakable rasp of Lord Farkvold answered:

"Earth attorneys?! Is that you?"

"It's us, Lord Farkvold," I said. "Sorry about the delay. We hit a few snags, but the assignment is complete."

"So Planet Azodii is ours? The Acquisition Treaty has been signed?"

"Yes, the contract has been fully-executed." I winced at my choice of words. It conjured the image of a horrible red glob, the remains of Antonio Vicchady.

I could hear the relief in Lord Farkvold's voice:

"Excellent," he said. "Most excellent work, Earth attorneys. The High Council will be pleased. We've expanded the Slatt Territory closer to the Zaprath Belt, and quadrupled our holdings of Voyt Jelly. Please travel as soon as possible to Council Territory using the energy portal, and deliver me the signed documents."

"That's going to take a little while, Lord Farkvold," Henry said. "We're not in Los Angeles. We're on the opposite side of Earth right now, in Europe."

"How did that happen? Did you give the automated pilot of the Klargung Cruiser incorrect directions? Never mind, it's not important. Deliver the signed folio to me as soon as possible."

"What was that you said about Voyt Jelly?" I asked.

Lord Farkvold gave a snort. "Ah, yes. I imagine the news has yet to reach the people of Azodii. The intergalactic prices of Voyt Jelly skyrocketed this morning. It was discovered to be an effective cure for bowel disease on the Planet Yaz."

I raised my eyebrows and looked at Henry. "Planet Yaz? Isn't that part of the Slatt Empire?"

"Yes," Lord Farkvold said. "It's one of our planets. And home to over four billion Yazzerites. The High Council was concerned that we wouldn't close the acquisition of Azodii before the news broke. We've been trying to keep the scientists on Yaz quiet about the whole thing, at least until the end of the week.

"But now Azodii is ours! And with it comes the mining rights to the Qwazler Moons, and their lucrative supply of the Jelly."

Henry and I were silent for a moment. "Lord Farkvold," I said slowly. "Is that what this acquisition was really about?"

"So, the High Council wasn't really interested in expanding the Slatt Territory into the Zaprath Belt," Henry said. "This all just a profit play to get at the Qwazler Moons? So the High Council can make some money on the price of Voyt Jelly?"

"I don't see why it can't be both," Farkvold said simply. "We expanded the Territories, and acquired a valuable new resource in the process. I think that's called a win-win."

The line went dead. Henry tucked his phone into his jacket pocket. We silently puffed our cigars; mine started to taste foul and burnt.

"If this was all just a cash grab," I said, stubbing out my cigar against a tree trunk. "Then I foresee some problems down the line between the Azodii and their new Slatt overlords."

Henry nodded. "Maybe we can find a cab," he started down the road, dragging his luggage behind him. I followed, glancing at my new Rolex in the moonlight. It was a little after noon in Los Angeles. I told Denise that I would be back home tomorrow, Thursday.

If there's a redeye flight available tonight, I thought, then maybe I'll make it home on time.

THE END