《Red Dead To The World》Council Of Four
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Different cultures have their traditions. For example, in Japan, deals are made in teams, they are comfortable with long silences, business cards are significant, age equals seniority, and politeness is King. The united states might well be the opposite; deals are often done on golf courses, many deals are struck one-on-one, silence is the enemy, and money and innovation is King.
Even as an insurance sales rep, I had some experience. Money talks and bullshit walks, as my favorite YouTuber often quoted. They wanted the most for their money, and if someone could give them a lower price, they’d jump ship. Only convenience rivaled a low price for supremacy in a customer’s mind.
My meeting with the council of four was different from any of my early experiences. An inhuman matriarchal society acted differently than any I’d ever witnessed. If not for my advantages, I’d have been lost.
…
Before any negotiations could be done, I was taken to a private bathhouse run by lamias of the slither clan. Water sprayed down on me while the lamias scrubbed my body clean. The girls flaunted their skinny waists and smooth dark skin belly dancing around me. None were shy.
As one washed my hand, she pulled my fingers against the slit, stretching up her midriff. “Oh, how forward of you just a little pressure, and I’ll open up.” A lamia said.
One of the larger lamias slithered forward and extended her tail, wrapping me in a crushing embrace. She’d soaped her breasts and used them to skillfully wash my chest. “Forget about Iasiasse’s slit; it's more shallow than it appears. Wouldn’t you rather be washed in my tight embrace snuggling with my breasts?” She squeezed with the force of a machine press.
My back gave an audible pop, and an ache subsided. I twisted my spine, feeling her coils tighten just at the right moment to massage my aching muscles.
“You’re too tense; this bath is for you. So enjoy it, please.”
“No fair Athilossia, we’re supposed to share him poor Philaia, and Kisiphei hasn’t even touched him yet. Mother said we had to share.” Iasiasse whispered in a hushed voice. To that end, I spotted two smaller lamias and lifted them to me with spectral arms. One quickly coiled around my shoulder while the other froze on my spectral arm.
“Philaia, don’t be scared, just slither down like it’s a tree limb in mom’s garden.” The smaller lamia kept herself tightly bound around my spectral arm while Athilossia gently took hold of her. Philaia might have been in her early twenties but lacked the sheer size of the other lamia. Once she was safely in Athilossia’s arms, she slowly rubbed my other aching shoulder.
“Mr, why are your muscles so hard?” Philaia asked.
“Because he strong dummy. Mom said he must have the blood of heroes.” Kisiphei said.
“I’m sorry about this, sir; my younger sisters are new to this. Philaia, would you like to scrub below? I think he’d appreciate your lighter touch there.” Athilossia said.
The youngest lamia slipped down from her sister into the warm sud-filled bath water below. She quickly took a handful of suds while Athilossia shifted her grip on me to reveal my crotch. When those thick coils opened up, I felt Philaia’s gentle hands lathering me down below.
Her gentle hands teased me while they worked on my body, and Iasiasse teased her slit with my fingers.
No man, no matter how stoic, would be able to resist such teasing for long. Besides, I enjoyed the attention freely given without tradition or coercion. Athilossia continued to squeeze her coils, massaging my tense muscles wearing away at my aches and pains.
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Special soaps removed the ink from my skin, leaving me feeling truly naked. Not that it mattered ever since my parameter fueled growth, the ink no longer looked right. The body art created by those catgirls had been stretched to cartoonish proportions. Under the soap and water of the bath, it was cleaned away.
“Awe come on don’t you want to have a little fun before you go negotiate with mom. No one has to know my sister could even join in.” Iasiasse said.
“That’s enough; if he’s too tired, then mom will know.” Her next words were said too quietly for a normal person to hear. “If you’re good, I’ll let you barrow Mr. Stallion tonight,” Athilossia said.
Sometimes having enhanced hearing was worth it. However, using my Perception to focus on a distant conversation could also leave me blindsided.
Just when I let down my guard, I felt a warm pair of lips kiss me. Kisiphei’s hugged my neck while she planted kiss after kiss on me. Finally, her big titties rubbed against my chest, and for a second, my mind blanked out. All my self-control vanished, and no amount of stoicism would get it back.
My hand snapped up to her midriff to slip a thumb inside. I grabbed her thick tail with my other hand and crushed her to my chest. Not in a painful way or in a way that would splatter her fragile body. At the time, my thumb eased deeper into her slit, inspecting the tightness within. Kisiphei danced side to side, working my thumb into her deeper while her warm walls squelched against my thumb. Her inner muscles worked hard to pull my thumb in with her suctioning tug.
Fortunately, at least one sister was responsible.
Philaia grabbed ahold of Kisiphei’s tail and unwound her quickly before yanking her off. Kisiphei hissed and swam through the bath to leap back on me. Athilossia quickly grabbed her sister and regained control of the situation.
“Now that you're clean, let us dry you and oil your beard,” Iasiasse said.
Once, they dried me off with much less teasing this time. The lamias oiled my beard and brushed it well. My beard felt softer and healthier than it had been in years. I didn't know whether that was from finally cleaning it of sand, the parameters, or the oil. It felt soft and didn’t itch anymore.
They dressed me in a clean red robe tied with a black sash. I was given a nice pair of sandals and a wide-brimmed leather hat. All my clothes were provided to be taken off quickly.
A set of armored minotaurs and centaurs led me to one of the few untouched towers in Flank town. Even at a distance, I could sense the static of magic in the building. A set of runes wrapped around the building different from the others. That meant something. While other buildings were destroyed around it, this singular structure remained untouched.
My escorts led me to an elevator large enough for the guards minotaur and centaur alike. An officially dressed centaur pressed a button, and the lift shot up. Unlike the rickety receiving tower, this one didn’t wobble as it rose.
I looked the most decorated centaur up and down. He was armored to the gills and even wore a steel cup to protect his balls. That was an admirable precaution. From what I recalled, predators attacked the balls and vaginas of their prey most often because it was a soft spot that caused a lot of pain. It was also the favorite part of predators to eat.
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The centaur turned its head to me. While his eyes made a pretense of binocular vision, they were actually extremely large on his face. That must have been an evolutionary trait among centaurs, or that was my assumption. They probably had both binocular and monocular vision like actual horses. However, proportionally their eyes were 50% larger than a human’s.
“I’d advise you not to ask for much from the councilors, or we might have to toss you from the building.” Ah, so someone finally decided to show some teeth to me. I guess I was getting too used to ass-kissing.
“I will have my due. If the council of four can’t pay, then I’ll leave and warn no one.” One of the minotaurs snorted.
“We know what kind of mission the Governor assigned you. It’s the council which pays in gold; the Governor only has promised. Pray you don’t make demands of Boss Mare Grayn. I’ve seen her kick the head off a human slave who annoyed her.” One of the minotaurs said.
“Then what am I doing here if the council doesn’t want to pay. Or does the council have nothing better to do than waste my time?” I said.
“Enough of your lip. If you weren’t a guest, I’d cut the disrespect out of you with my ax. Rumor has it you played a part in saving this city despite the wise counsel of an Acura sorceress. I’ll admit you have some muscle on you for a human, but against a flesh mage, you wouldn’t last a second.” The centaur said.
“I suppose Ito Rin can’t leave for fear of the golem’s shooting her down. Or King damaged her broom when she fled with Silent. Interesting, so she’s trapped here.” I said.
One of the minotaurs lost its patience and swung its hammer. I gripped my hat and stepped out of the way. The hammer struck the ground of the elevator, denting the floor.
The other minotaurs roared and brandished their weapons. “Enough all of you. We’re trapped together in a metal box. The next one to swing in here will answer to my lance.” The centaur rounded on me. “Slave to a foreign herd. Another word from you, and I’ll seal a deal with you tonight.” The centaur growled.
“No thanks, I wouldn’t want to break you,” I said.
The centaur raised its lance, and the minotaurs talked the stallion to the ground. “No, we can’t let him antagonize us. Don’t sink to his level; captain, your mother, would never forgive us if something happened to you.” The minotaurs said.
Bing! The elevator doors opened. I sighed.
“That’s a shame; I thought I’d get a little more fun out of you before the boring meeting started,” I said.
I crossed the threshold where a vampire with large bouncy boobs and pale, almost blue skin waited for me. She wore a black dress with a bright red ribbon on her chest. Her soft chocolate brown hair hung almost shoulder length. She easily stood 8ft tall and looked down on me with a cheery smile on her face exposing her fangs.
“Nice to meet you; my name is Hestia Bell of the Blue Blood clan. You must be Red. I’ve heard so much about you from my brother, Xavier. He joined you in the final push. He said your might and magic were exceptional. You were like a dark lord in human flesh, how he describes it.” Hestia said.
The vampire wrapped me in a hug and lifted me off my feet. I felt her hand grope down for my ass before she brought me eye level.
“Council Woman, please show some restraint; this man wants to bleed our city dry before he leaves us to dry.” The centaur captain said.
“Of course, he’s a hero; they make the most gluttonous vampires,” Hestia said.
She nuzzled my neck before giving it a long wet lick. I felt her fangs brush my neck before she kissed my artery.
I brought my hand behind her head and stroked the back of her ear.
She shivered and glared at me. I reached down below her ribbon and grabbed one of her breasts. It was soft, smooth to the touch, and filled my hand. She dropped me, and I used my spectral arms to catch my weight and extended them until I was at eye level with her.
“Alright, have it your way; we’ll discuss your payment. I hope you know officially my brother never acted as a witness to the council. As far as they’re concerned, your deeds are rumors, and Ito Rin saved us. Every copper we give you is a copper we can’t reward our savior or use to pay our magic engineers.” Hestia said.
“Oh, has she joined the council in the business deal?” I asked.
“Yes, she will participate as a representative of Acura. While she is here, she will obey all of our traditions; the girl was adamant about it.” Hestia said.
I nodded. “So no one told Ito Rin about the after deal orgy. That will be..” I said.
“We made sure not to tell her. These are dark times, and we could use a laugh. While officially she is our savior, eyewitness accounts speak louder than a foreign sorceress. But, of course, officially, we don’t have time to call for witnesses to get the story straight. So that’s for the best.” Hestia said. She turned to me. “Did you bring any witnesses?” She asked.
“Like you said, there wasn’t any time, and this isn’t about a deed that could be rewarded later; this is about an invading force now,” I said.
“Save it for your opening statement. Fighting to roll back the reward for a hero is a good play. After all, if she was truly heroic, she’d do everything she could to help us in our time of need. That includes waiting until we can afford to pay her.” She shook her head. “Again, wait until it's time to make your point. To tell you the truth, we can’t afford to pay either of you. Most of our finances were in the city. We had many foreign investors. Our stock report this quarter will cause many suicides. The debt collectors will be hounding our gates if the Feds don’t breach them.” Hestia said.
We arrived at a clean room with an open bar and the single largest bed I’ve ever seen. Ito Rin was easy to spot. She raised an eyebrow and smirked before throwing back a shot. Her business suit stood out among the council. Next, my attention slid to Hyenoid milf, who turned to me and licked her lips. She wore a skimpy two-piece that barely hid her hardening member. Beside her, with the whitest coat I’ve ever seen, was a truly massive centaur wearing a thin leather bra and nothing else. She brushed a long blond braid back and turned to look at me with sky blue eyes. Lounging on the bed was the single largest lamia I’ve ever seen. She laid on the massive bed coiled up with a lacy black thong covering her slit and large cotton see-through bra. Her dark round nipples were plain to see through the bra.
Ito Rin remained quiet as I approached beside Hestia.
Hestia pulled me to the bar and poured me a shot of whisky. She tossed an ice cube in and slid the drink to me.
I downed it in a single gulp and felt nothing, not even a buzz. Hestia smiled and poured me another while I downed them.
“You know a man who can’t get it up can’t seal any deal, right,” Hestia whispered to me.
“I can’t get drunk,” I whispered back to her.
She grumbled at that but still poured me another drink. Then, finally, Hestia turned the bottle up herself and finished it off. When it was empty, she pounded it down, leaving her red lipstick on the bottle.
The lamia rose off the bed and slithered up behind me. “It seems we’re doing this after all. I was hoping you were one of the heroes who were weak to liquor. How disappointing.” The lamia turned my neck from side to side, inspecting it. “You were supposed to bite him, Hestia. But I guess a little blood loss wouldn’t matter if you’re immune to the drink itself. What a bother.” She turned to the centaur. “Grayn the funs over its time to get serious.”
“I’m the moderator,” Hestia shouted.
The hyenoid milf stood up and joined the Grayn. Her gaze landed on me before she turned to the lamia.
“Hey, my name is Ophiixie Matriarch of the Slither Clan. I’ll conduct our opening statement. To show that we aren’t trying to quadruple team you only one person may speak at a time. Hestia holds the most seniority here and isn’t afraid to stop us if we get off point. So while the other three can jump in, I will be the main speaker. Ito Rin, since you are the youngest and an Acura representative, you should be the least active.” Ophiixie said.
Ito Rin seemed satisfied by that. It must have agreed to her sensibilities because she remained silent.
Hestia cleared her throat. “As the contracted party, Red has the right to present his opening statement first,” Hestia said.
“Every day I am in here and not making my way to Bridle is a day closer the Feds’ army is to your doorstep. Your Governer charged me to escort her daughter to the nearest town to warn the Republic of city-states of the Federal insurgency. Without the combined might of the Taur empire, you won’t survive the siege. You need me for this mission. I’m not free. All I ask for the city to pay for supplies for my quest, a tower in the city, and 250,000 gold pieces.” I said.
The council stared at each other before turning to Ito Rin. Ophiixie spoke. “We did not assign this quest to you, and what funds we’ve set aside are tied up in the reconstruction of our city. Yes, the Feds are coming, but our walls are strong they’ve held for generations, we have our own hero, and if we paid you for this quest, how can we reward her for disposing of the vile flesh mage King. While your mission is important, our liquid assets are running thin as it is. Pick any tower you want; they are all empty as for supplies for your quest; the desert could provide you with everything you need.”
The lamia smiled at me and gripped one of her breasts. She eased it out of her bra, brought it to her lips, and sucked gently on her inverted nipple. A shiver slipped down my spine as my body began to heat up with ever greater urges. The discussion had only just started, and already my mind went blank. I struggled to find a point as my hormones raged.
“You make it sound like this is just a common raid. These aren’t bandits or even men of flesh and blood that tire. Golems don’t sleep; they need few supplies and their damn patient. Flank town is just their foothold into the Taur Empire. Once they find a way over your wall, this city will become theirs. While the quest wasn’t assigned by you, it's something you desperately need. I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t need it, or can you repair your communication tower before the Feds arrive. What about when they arrive? How fast will you repair your tower when you lose magic engineers every day from artillery fire from the Feds?” I said.
Ophiixie pulled her erect nipple out with a pop. The woman narrowed her eyes and turned to the patient Grayn.
The centaur spoke up. “Thank you for summing up our position; we never said we didn’t need you. But you have to understand that we don’t have the money to pay you now. All our money was tied in stock from the businesses that King mostly destroyed. The siege will no doubt destroy the rest of them. Once that happens, our economy will hit the worst recession it's experienced in a century. My son won’t be able to afford his own furrier. We want to pay you, but we can’t.” Grayn said.
Grayn smiled cutely and brushed aside her long blond hair. She fluttered her eyelashes and licked her lips. Her back hooves moved to the side, and she brushed her tail from side to side and winked at me. A sweet smell almost pulled me from my feet. For a moment, I struggled to get control of myself.
“Are you ok to continue?” Hestia asked.
Ito Rin only stared at me in disgust.
I took my eyes off the giant pink Centaur vulva for long enough to answer. “I’m fine to continue.” I glared at the councilors. “So you don’t have enough gold to pay me. Well, I’ll be generous you can make up for it in goods. It's simple just write me a big I owe you, and I’ll take its equivalent in goods. What I can’t carry with me, I’ll consider void. That sounds like a good deal to me. I mean, I’ll have to move fast so I can’t carry much. I’ll even remove my demand for you to pay for our supplies as well.” I said.
Hestia turned her head to the side. Looked me up and down and bit her bottom lip.
This reminded me of Germany during world war I; they didn’t have the money to pay off their war reparations, so they printed a bunch of money. Then the countries bought everything that wasn’t nailed down, Germany went into a depression. So, of course, they didn’t know I could use my inventory to gather 250,000 gold worth of items.
“The tower you choose can’t be one in use right now. We’ll give you a list of towers to choose from. As for the goods, you can’t buy shares of businesses or city real estate.” Ophiixie said.
“Be careful I don’t sell my debt to the council of Bridle,” I said.
The lamia frowned at that and pursed her lips. The Hyenoid milf whispered into the lamia’s ear. “250,000 gold will only buy at most two large towers. So let's make the deal and consider ourselves lucky if he purchases two empty towers. What will he do? So what if he rents them out our people need more housing.” The milf said.
After that, Ophiixie nodded her head and smiled. “We concede to your demand and agree to draw up a bill of credit.”
On the inside, a smile spread across my face. Those fools didn’t get it. Or it didn’t matter to them. Perhaps I should have asked for more. Instead, I planned to take everything that wasn’t nailed down until my credit was spent in two days.
Hestia grinned and pulled the ribbon loose on her chest. The vampire’s very business top opened wide, revealing her lack of bra. Instead, her large purple nipples pointed out as if demanding to be sucked on. “This is my favorite part, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect.”
“What’s going on?” Ito Rin asked as Ophiixie began unbuttoning her top.
“The deal has been concluded its time to seal the deal. You aren’t going to dishonor Acura, are you? As a representative to our city and a participant of our traditions, you must help us seal the deal. It’s a tradition that’s existed for generations. Deals made with heroes, and dark lords must be sealed in blood.” Ophiixie said.
To make her point, the lamia ripped open the woman’s blouse revealing her white bra.
Hestia flicked my hat off and pulled the tie on my robe. My sandals were discarded soon after. The vampire’s breasts hung like low-hanging fruit. She and Grayn grabbed my hands and pulled me over to the bed.
The vampire pressed her lips against mine as Grayn took hold of my member. I saw Hestia’s blue ass wiggling in the air as Grayn sucked on my cock. Hestia groaned as I sucked on her extra-long tongue. The organ easily stuffed my mouth full as we made out. She pulled back, brushed her hair back, and dove in again.
Out of the corner of my eye, Ophiixie had coiled around Ito Rin and buried her tongue down the system user’s throat. Slowly Opphiixie moved Ito Rin to the bed.
I suddenly came in Grayn’s mouth before Hestia quickly shoved it inside of her for the last few spurts.
The feeling was incredible, but it didn’t stop. My body wasn’t like it had been. A second after I came, I began building up again. Vampire pussy was something else. The texture didn’t just undulate and flesh; it twisted and sucked; there were so many bumps and grooves, and she kept pushing me deeper.
I reached down and realized I had a fucking baseball bat between my legs. Somehow my Dexterirty had done that to me. “Hello, handsome. Let me get nice and loose for you.”
Grayn turned to see the hyenoid milf mounting her. “Oh, Defy, that feels good; you know I like it when you scissor me,” Grayn said. The centaur tossed her tail to the side and began rubbing her titties.
I grabbed one of Hestia’s poky nipples and with my lips and rolled it on my tongue. The vampire moaned, lifted, and slammed herself down harder. I reached forward and grabbed a handful of her sexy blue ass.
Grayn struck, then sucking my balls into her mouth and sucked on them while I leaped over the edge. The centaurs massive tongue wiggled between my balls while I came sending me into a new level of pleasure, blasting my load into the vampire.
“So warm, I want more. Hestia’s creamery is open for business.” Hestia said. She lifted and slammed her hips hard and fast, spraying my seed all over the bed and Grayn.
In no time, I sprayed into the vampire again. Still, I wasn’t done by a long shot. What would generally satisfy me barely gave me pause. The vampire continued to bounce, shaking her brown hair while slamming her hips down.
Grayn looked up with a face covered in my sperm. She smiled, scooped a handful, and turned it up to drink down. Hestia picked herself off of me, showing off her puffy purple pussy in all its soken wet glory. A crazy smile lit her face.
I heard a giggle from Grayn. “Don’t mind if I do.” The centaur yanked Hestia off her feet with an eep and shoved her thick centaur tongue into the vampire’s throbbing cunny.
Defy Silent’s mother pulled out of Grayn’s pussy and leaped on the bed.
I moved, grabbing the woman and tossing her under me, stuffed three fingers into her giant clit, and spread it. The milf stared at me with undisguised excitement. I angled my member just right and slipped into her pussy. It was much stretchier than Silent’s, and it felt like I might break her with every thrust. The milf only leaned back, wrapped her legs around my waist, and played with her black nipples.
With every stroke, I slipped deeper inside of her and felt something strange. I haven’t been inside Silent so deeply before. My length hadn’t been enough, but as I slipped beyond her base, she gripped me tighter and grew ever wetter. Finally, once the head of my dick slipped all the way in, I came. Defy thrust her hips up as her massive clit made sloshing sounds.
I blasted her three more times before I pulled out, leaving her massive clit gaping.
Grayn saw that I had finished with Defy and turned around until her giant cunny faced the bed. Her back hooves took their positions on the higher steps while she leaned back. I watched her tail climb revealing a winking pink centaur slit and a large white ponut.
On all fours, I crawled to her like a beast and shoved my face into her pussy. It was more like eating a watermelon than a peach. No matter how I licked, I knew her inner depths wouldn’t be touched by my tongue alone. So instead of giving up, I licked her powdered donut before I grabbed either side of her hips.
My fat member pushed against her wet lips as she tightened around me. With a push, I popped in and pushed, feeling her quickly accommodate me. Her cunny squeezed and drenched my dick in her juices. Even before I started humping, I could tell that this was going to be a wild ride. I pulled back, feeling her squelch and wink as my balls tapped her clit. Then, after only a few humps, I blasted inside of her and kept thrusting.
If I really pushed, I could almost touch her cervix. My hips moved on their own, driving my dick in and out of her hungry centaur cunny. The sheer pressure and power of her walls pushing against me made me release in her again.
I rubbed my balls to collect some of her juices before jamming a finger in her ass. She turned back to me in-between her make-out session with Hestia and winked. Grayn squeezed down, and I grabbed her hips to hump her harder than before. I continued to release inside of her, spasming out of control as I dumped my seed in her centaur cunny. Her organ never seemed satisfied.
Finally, with a force of will, I pulled out of a loud pop.
Hestia laughed as she ran behind Grayn to collect my leaking sperm in her hands. I watched the vampire and centaur share it before turned to the last two. Ito Rin cried out in her latest orgasm under Ophiixie’s ministrations. I pushed my dick in her mouth to silence her.
Instead of bothering her, the woman began sucking. I grabbed ahold of my dick and rung out my latest load. The woman only became more enthusiastic. She bobbed her head up and down, trying to fit more of my head into her mouth.
Ophiixie quickly pulled Ito Rin off my member, and the lamia stuffed her tongue down the human woman’s throat. “That does taste good. What an interesting flavor.” Ophiixie lifted Ito Rin’s ass up like the human woman was a toy.
I didn’t need more coaxing than that. With a pop, my member barely entered Ito Rin long enough to cum inside of her. I thought about trying to ruin her ass but gave that up as a lost cause. So instead, I stuck my face against it and drove my tongue in deep. The woman moaned, and I pulled away.
Ophiixie laid Ito Rin gently on the bed before moving quickly. She wrapped me in her coils and tossed me on the bed. She opened her mouth wide and took my cock in. In one gulp, it sunk into her throat. I groaned, feeling her tight throat squeeze against me.
She pulled me free and exposed her massive slit. I eased my dick inside, and it sucked me to the hilt. Her pussy shook and squeezed until I came on the spot. She brought her remaining inverted nipple to my mouth. “I thought you’d want to pop this one out yourself.” I thought that was quite considerate of her.
Until morning, I came inside the lamia, sucked on her titties, and made out with her. All the while, her pussy continued to ring the cum out of me.
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8 172 - In Serial15 Chapters
Dip$h!+s in Space
An eccentric comedy novel (that thinks it's a TV show) about space, and the Dipsh!+s that end up stranded in it. This hyper-self-aware comedy of stupid proportions, centers around Captain William T Lawg (no relation) and his adventures as a guy who managed to afford a refitted soft-top ice-cream truck, in space. Explore the universe with his trusty crew of valiant randos. Marley, the tech-bro, stoner spacebunny, who just wants to get away from his home world and the bullies it harbors. Duffy, the plump and sassy female mechanic, who has had every job in existence totaling far more years than possible. Roy, the frigging fabulous, flamboyant android, and former spy…or possibly current spy. (dun dun, daaaa!) And lastly, but certainly leastly, that other chick the captain keeps trying to bang. Ride with the crew of the notorious Tast-E-Chill, to a world of wonder that a lot of other space travelers have already been before, but probably not Lawg, so it's still exciting. This satirical joke on itself and every sci-fi trope ever to exist, will be sure to either thrill you or disappoint you, because COMEDY…IS…SUBJECTIVE! With a crew of 3-10 and an IQ of also probably 3-10, The captain putters along to uncharted lands, where history, loot, drama, innuendos of the sexual verity, and various Technicolor hoes shall surely be waiting, usually with some form of trap. Each season brings new and interesting crewmen, like: Menace: the adorable genderless frog-child-thing with the heart of gold and the dialogue vocabulary of a slightly trained parrot. Greg: the 8 foot tall, ancient, thermonuclear, semi-retired alien overlord who just wants to prove he still has a purpose…and also to rule the galaxy. Izzy: a 3rd generation, age-reversed reboot, accidental clone of her own mother/sister/older self, who happens to be Greg's daughter-in-law…and much, much more. Prepare yourself for shallow adventure, moderately-to high offensive dialogue, and overwhelmingly childish scenarios. Tag along as the crew battles, fierce enemies, lack of food and survival tape, and occasionally their own incompetence. Teen Romance, current politics, subtlety, dignity, this sucker has none of those, and it darn well knows it. Raise the sails and grab the rails as a bunch of dipsh!+s find themselves...IN SPACE. (Roll dramatic tapering credits, to royalty free trumpet music)
8 126 - In Serial6 Chapters
9 Levels of Hell - GameLit
Yesterday, Clint and his girlfriend died in a car accident. Today, he woke up with dozens of other humans in a twisted game devised by Death himself. There are only three rules: 1) If you die, you lose. 2) If you reach the end of the ninth level, you live. 3) You may kill each other, if you like If Clint can reach the end of the game, he can save his girlfriend and himself--that is, if the other players don't kill him first.
8 195 - In Serial29 Chapters
Renowned
At 18 years of age Silver finally leaves the mountains he calls home and embarks on a lone journey to find his origins. With over 300 different skills taught to him by his mysterious master, will it be enough for him to survive in this cruel world or will he be bullied by those who wield the power he has yet to learn. 1 new chapter every 2 days.
8 79 - In Serial28 Chapters
[Archive] Legend of the Nameless Hero
A WhiteSamurai original Web Novel There are always the mysterious tales of heroes, those who fight against the Demons, who fight for justice and those who head mighty quests against tyranny. Heroes that are born to destiny, Heroes that are forged through tragedy, and Heroes that are brought to the world in times of great peril and strife. Not all true Heroes are wanted or beloved, but all life understands, that throughout all time and space, for those who truly stand as Heroes, they never need to be called one. The sands of time are the only true judge for those who journey upon the true path, the only one they will ever need. This is the tale, no, the Legend, the Legend of the one who throughout all time, would forever be, the First Hero. This is Their story, a story of true hardship, of a sorrow greater than any other that would stand as a symbol of inspiration no matter the test of time. A tale of darkness, a true curse, an impending evil hidden beyond the horizons that threatened the very future of existence. This is the tale, of one of the few great figures, who, in the face of true evil, continued to stand. . . . _______________________________________________________________ :Disclaimer: _______________________________________________________________ . . . All Chapters are subject to sudden revision, scrapping, or complete removal from the canonical storyline. The author of "Legend of the Nameless Hero" uses RoyalRoad as a method of experimentation with genre's and writing styles for Fantasy-style works for the sake of eventual publication. The end result isn't to release perfect chapters on RoyalRoadl, but eventually develop the story as intended using the best material to produce the highest quality work. The best mentality when reading works from WhiteSamurai is to see it as the ability to read and review pre-release transcripts or "Rough Copies" before publication. Viewer discretion and maturity are both requested and required. . . . _______________________________________________________________ :About: _______________________________________________________________ . . . This story follows direct character point of views along with an intentional third person narrative to explain to the readers what the characters won't. (I don't use my characters to go give extensive explanations for every last thing like EVERYTHING DOES) This tale shall encompass the life of the Hero from the moment she is summoned into the Kingdom of Kremor, to the Legendary Final Clash. This isn't your run of the mill hack and slash raise an army and conquer, I don't follow that bandwagon. Real life holds politics, intrigue, economics, structure, populations, civil opinions, history, psychology, heart, suffering, wonder, advancement, curiosity, ambition, and so many more things that would lead to me hitting some character limit. I refuse to take the same route that others use by simply ignoring these factors, my worlds, my stories, are as real as they get. There's no plot armor here, if someone screws up, they've screwed up and there's no magical sword in a well for them. I write in 'Seasons' not 'Books' as many often do, these are generally, not always, hundreds of chapters long, though as I have yet to finish a season, the average length is in the air. I go by an ideal of what I call 'Universal Lore' which includes the policy that things that exist within the story don't follow the rule where the Protagonist needs to be there so that it will happen. There will be some things that will happen, and the hero, and sometimes the reader, won't know happened until they enter a place, or news gets to them. A person needs to be in the right place at the right time, I hate plot holes and meta characters above all else... For my works, comments are practically demanded as reactions, thoughts, and various viewpoints are like sweet fuel to my writing spirit. Reviews are highly accepted and appreciated, BUT ONLY IF THEY ARE EDUCATED AND THOROUGHLY EXPLAINED. Those that throw down a low rating ARE HIGHLY REQUESTED to extensively detail and explain their viewpoints on the work. They should also be willing to come back to the work at a later date if messaged by the Author, Me, due to issues they mentioned being taken care of. I'm never against scrapping a chapter or rewriting several paragraphs if there are character or story discrepancies. I want the highest quality work possible, and every comment, every review, are tools for me to use to further that goal. . . . Enjoy the work. ~White Status: (Ongoing)
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