Jane groggily opened his eyes. The circular room swam into view while his teeth chattered, his wet body shaking itself awake. Ugh, my head is killing me. Jane put a hand to his head as he sat up and looked around. The treasure chest still sat near him. So did the dead gröm.

“That’s weird. Why didn’t it dissolve like the ghoul?” Jane croaked through parched lips. He quickly took a long drink out of the stream before standing up. He walked over to the gröm and gave it a light kick. The gröm didn’t move.

Jane moved over to the treasure chest at the back of the room. It stood before him, regal in simplicity. A hardwood chest banded in iron. He wondered what gleaming treasure could lay inside. He tried the lid, hesitantly, as if it might suddenly open to reveal a maw of glistening teeth. The lid creaked open. Neither teeth nor golden light greeted him, but only a dusty old thermos sat in the bottom of the chest.

Jane gently lifted the old green thermos, holding it up in the dim light of the room. “Examine.”

The Morning Joe

A unique magical item, The Morning Joe is being contained by the Pipe Nightmare Dungeon Complex. The Morning Joe instantly converts water poured into it into piping hot coffee. The Morning Joe is made with superior insulation that keeps coffee hot for ALWAYS. The Morning Joe is not legally culpable for any coffee related injuries or damages. The Morning Joe is made of tough and durable MATERIAL so that it can work as hard as you do.

Don't talk to The Morning Joe before it's had its coffee.

Coffee provided by The Morning Joe is delicious and has no negative side effects. Coffee provided by the Morning Joe is not habit forming*

The Morning Joe holds 32+Int*2 oz

Effect of coffee scales with constitution.

The Morning Joe must be bound

Bind The Morning Joe ? (Y/N)

Jane gave the thermos a sidelong glance. A single dent in the side of it glared expectantly back at him. "I don't know if that's wise."

Bind The Morning Joe? (Y/N)

Jane looked at the prompt, then back at the thermos. "But I do need all the help I can get."

Bind The Morning Joe? (Y/N) Please.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Jane said, as he accepted the prompt.

The Morning Joe has been bound.

The message came and went with little fanfare

“Well, that was anticlimactic. Let’s try some of this coffee, I guess.” Jane quickly unscrewed the dull silver cap, and poured some coffee into it. Steam rose from the dark brown liquid as the aroma rose to meet Jane. Well, I’ve always been more of an energy drink guy, but here goes. Jane took a hesitant sip from the coffee. The hot liquid burnt his tongue just slightly as the earthy drink washed down his throat.

“That’s pretty good.” Jane said, before draining the rest of the cup.

Then it hit him.

It started as a tremorous chill running up his spine, into his brain, shaking all the cobwebs loose as it relieved his headache like a glass of water to the brain. Then came the supreme confidence that he would get out of this dungeon; see the outside world, even if he had to fight through the huntsman to do it. Last came a vague feeling of smug approval from the thermos in his hand. Jane straightened up. He checked to make sure he had all his gear, and left the room. He had a dungeon to conquer.

Illyana checked her gear as she waited on the research team. She watched as the four other people readied their gear and double-checked the plan.

“As you know, the dungeon has been observed to change when it shifts between its day and night cycle.” Edgar, the lead researcher, lectured, leading them through the plan once again. “The plan is to go past the entrance area and the first floor where it’s mostly stable and into the deeper parts of the dungeon where it changes frequently.” Illyana tuned out Edgar as she looked at the rest of the research team. Other than Edgar, there were Grantia, Bolvóc, and Lekesh. Edgar and Grantia were different flavors of spell caster. Bolvóc was some sort of defensive warrior, and Lekesh was some weird type of psionic. Illyana had worked with the team enough before to know their general abilities. Edgar Mainly used utility spells with a few buffs and debuffs thrown in. Grantia was a pure water mage, which was extra useful in this dungeon. Bolvóc used a long, thin sword and a buckler, but he mainly had skills for defending his teammates while suddenly striking out occasionally. Lekesh was mostly a mystery to the elf. Lekesh hadn’t really done much in combat, but had given the party a critical heads up a few times. Maybe she had divination skills?

“Illyana, are you paying attention?” Edgar called out suddenly.

“What, yes of course.” Illyana lied.

“Then what did I just say?” He interrogated the elf.

“You said, ‘Once down on the lower floors, we will be installing a specially prepared spear into the floor of the dungeon. This spear has been enchanted with stabilization runes, and will hopefully keep the dungeon from changing during its usual cycle. We will keep combat to a minimum as well as damage to the dungeon, as this could affect our results.’” Illyana smirked, “Did I get everything?”

“Yeah, you got everything.” Edgar scowled, “Damn elves.” He muttered under his breath.

“We have really good hearing too.” Illyana said. “The ears aren’t just for show.”

“Whatever, let’s go.” Edgar motioned for the group to follow him. “We’ve got a dungeon to conquer.”

The dungeon stood before them. Its gate was a large bulwark made of steel piping and covered in gauges and valves, jutting out of the center of the large town. The top of the dungeon gate reached taller than even the jury-rigged stacks of Valkirk around it. They approached the entrance, a guard saw them and quickly turned a wheel to open the main doors.

Welcome to Pipe Nightmare

Dungeon Complex

Illyana felt a chill run through her as she crossed the threshold into the dungeon. A great stone bridge stretched before her, reaching out across a large chasm. It connected to the dungeon proper. A monolith of twisted metal and stone, the dungeon was an inhospitable place. Illyana thought of other dungeons she had been in, many of which had both water, and creatures that could be hunted for food. Sure would be nice to be back home.

“I’ll take point.” The elf stated, pulling ahead of the group by a few paces.

“It’s a little early to get into formation, don’t you think?” Bolvóc calmly stated as he sauntered along the bridge.

“Maybe, but I’d rather not be taken by surprise at the entrance proper.” She explained.

“Cut the chatter. We’ll do this by the book.” Edgar stated.

The group continued in silence. The dungeon awaited them.