Chapter 7

“Kes! Kes! Kestrel!” Cillia’s voice finally broke him free of his reverie. She had been chattering non-stop for the last few days. His ears felt like they would fall off from the torrent of words flowing from the girl. Tuning it out was the only way he could find any peace. “Did ya’ hear what I was saying Kes?”

“Of course,” Kestrel huffed, annoyed. What was with her? Couldn’t she see he just wanted some peace and quiet?

“Okay, if you were really listening, what did I say?” Cillia shot back. Why was he so grumpy?

“Umm…It was about…Umm…” Kestrel sputtered before he gave up. “Okay, I lied, I wasn’t listening. Sorry. What did you wanna say?”

“Never-mind! If you don’t care then I won’t tell you!” little Cillia hissed in a hurt voice with tears beginning to brim around the edges of her eyes.

“Emperors balls, are all girls this emotional?” Kestrel thought. What was up with her? Why was she suddenly so angry?

“Hey look, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention, I shoulda been listening but I wasn’t.” he tried to apologize.

“I was trying to tell you something important but you don’t care! You only care about yourself! You only ever care about yourself!” the little redhead screamed at him. Now she was crying in earnest.

That remark cut. Something in Kestrel snapped. “You’re wrong! I’m the ONLY person in this godforsaken world who DOES care about you! I’m the only one who thought you were worth saving! If not for me, you’d be dead now!”

Cillia’s little fists tightened. Her fingernails drew tiny beads of blood in her palm. Kestrel’s heart tore at the sight but he couldn’t tamp down the anger at her words. She could never know how much he had done for her. She could never know the darkness he’d faced to protect her.

“I hate you Kestrel! I hate you!” Cillia cried through her sobs. She turned and ran.

She had to get away.

Kestrel’s anger slowly bled away as he watched her disappear down the labyrinthian alleyways.

He had been a jerk.

She deserved better than him.

He would follow and find her in a few minutes after she had ran off her frustration and he had calmed down himself.

They had had their spats before. This one would be no different.

*****

“Why’s he so mean! I just wanted to tell him what I heard in the tavern! It sounded really important! Kestrel could have used that information and sold it for some food.” Cillia tried to wipe away her tears. They kept coming. “He’s an idiot. A jerk!”

The little redhead kept running. She was still so angry at Kestrel.

“Why did he say such mean things?” Cillia pouted. She’d lost track of how long she had run through the streets and was beginning to slow.

What hurt the most were the questions Kestrel’s harsh words had brought. She tried to avoid them whenever she could. But he had ripped off those scabs.

“Why didn’t my parents love me? Why’d they leave me? Did they ever love me?” Cillia’s tears came back.

She was walking blindly now. She was too tired and too sad to run anymore.

She had been abandoned once. Would Kestrel leave like her parents had? The idea terrified her. She hadn’t meant it when she said she hated him. He was a dummy, but she loved him. He loved her too.

Right?

“Kestrel still loves me, doesn’t he? He still loves me…”

Cillia finally stopped and gained her bearings and realized that she was near the Trout River Tavern where she had heard the information she’d been trying to share when they had blown up at each-other.

The irony was lost on her, but she knew she hated the place.

If she hadn’t of gone there, she would never’ve argued with Kestrel.

She wouldn’t have been reminded of who she was.

Unloved.

“I hate you! You’re the reason why Kestrel hates me now!” she accused the building as she punched the wall and cried.

*****

“Where is she!” Kestrel whispered a series of obscenities as he searched for Cillia. She had really gotten herself lost this time.

He was furious at himself for what he’d said. He really was heartless at times.

Cillia deserved better than him.

Kestrel was trapped.

He was destined to live a life on the streets. He had long ago been claimed by them. They owned him. He would never escape. Cillia though, she was different.

She could escape.

She could break out of their prison. She could have a good life

And he had just ripped her confidence away from her. He really was heartless.

“Cillia’s different than me. There’s still hope for her. She could find a house. She could get an apprenticeship. She has a future.” He thought as he wandered Fiell’s streets in an attempt to find her, growing more and more anxious with each minute that passed that he couldn’t find the young redhead.

“She’s an amazing kid. She can still find joy and wonder in this terrible place. She doesn’t deserve this life.” Kestrel wasn’t a father. He would never be one. That didn’t keep him from thinking of Cillia as a daughter though. “I need to apologize. She needs to know I’ll never abandon her like her real parents did.”

He’d blown up worse than usual and she hadn’t deserved that.

“Maybe she’s gone to the riverfront.” Kestrel thought.

He turned to head down to the docks. He hoped to find her there.

He’d apologize to Cillia when he saw her.

He would make sure she knew how much he loved her.

*****

“Is that her? Is that the kid Edrian told us about?” Rel asked his companion Wash.

“She fits the description,” Wash replied tersely. The stocky blonde man’s stomach soured at the idea of hunting a child.

“What’s your problem? Don’t like snatching the kiddos?” Rel jabbed at his compatriot.

“We answer to Aris Ravenscroft. Why are we doing this for the Minister? What could he possibly want with the kid?”

“Who cares? We’re gonna make bank on this. You wanna give that pretty new fiancé of yours a nice house right? Minister Wolls will make that happen if we do this silently and keep General Ravenscroft outta the loop. How’s that a bad deal?” Rel hissed. “If General Ravenscroft does find out Minister Wolls already has an alibi made for us anyway.”

Wash raised his eyebrows.

Just what was he getting himself into?

“You know I am, I want that house for Lekia…but it just doesn’t feel right targeting a kid. Seriously, what harm could that midget do? Something just feels wrong. I don’t like it, but I’ll do it. I have that house…And I some other debts that need paying…”

Rel grinned a predatory smile. Wash hated the taller man. He looked as if a weasel had been dipped in oil and transformed into a human. How he had became a guard was beyond Wash.

Still Wash needed the money. The kid wasn’t his anyway. He just needed to grab her right? They only needed to ask her a few questions.

“Let’s find the child, do what needs to be done and grab our money so we don’t need to be patrolling these piss-holes any longer,” Rel hissed, greed practically dripped from his high pitched but gravelly voice.

“Yeah, let’s just get this out of the way,” despite his words, Wash couldn’t keep the weight from his conscious. He was supposed to protect the citizens of Fiell, not go around kidnapping them and interrogating them.

“I shouldn’t have taken this dung heap of a job, but I have debts…Too many debts.” Wash thought to himself. Everything about this was distasteful, but he needed the money. “Why did The Minister choose Rel though? I’ve seen snakes with more conscious than him. The sooner we get this over, the sooner I can get away from the piece of garbage.”

“Yeah that’s her for sure!” Rel hissed.