Silent tears slid from Lydia's eyes. Her hand still cupped the cheek that Madame Coeur had touched. Madame Coeur's independant spirit reminded her of Aunt Rachel. A tall candle pooled light around her. Its aroma filled her nostrils. In memory she saw Aunt Rachel among her bees. She heard her voice humming along with the magnificent tiny creatures. Longing for Aunt Rachel brought more tears to her eyes.

She thought it would be a relief to be alone tonight and not have to pretend she was something she was not, but she just felt afraid. She missed the nearness of James. At this moment all she wanted was to feel as safe as she did with James. On the bed beside her was the pouch Madame Coeur had given her. Everything she might need was in the pouch. Her mother would have said, “God hath provided.” Her fingers dug into the pouch and extracted the dagger. It was sheathed. Never had she possessed a weapon. She unsheathed it. How its blade did gleam in the candle light. Could she kill a man if she had to? Something inside of her said, aye. This knowing unsettled her. She put the dagger back in its sheath and then into the bag.

Next to the candle was a pamphlet. Desperate for distraction, she reached for it. Slowly she read the cover. It was a selection from Genesis. She turned the page and read:

inmisit ergo Dominus Deus soporem in Adam cumque obdormisset tulit unam de costis eius et replevit carnem pro ea

et aedificavit Dominus Deus costam quam tulerat de Adam in mulierem et adduxit eam ad Adam**

Woman had not been fashioned from dust like man. She had been fashioned of human flesh. Why had her beginning been different from Adam's? To what purpose had God made this so? As she continued her reading she arrived at the curse of Eve. As always it seemed far too great for a single sin. If Eve could travel to Rome in this year of Jubilee, would Pope Boniface VIII pardon her sin?

*

Outside a winter storm spewed shrill ice. It spattered against the dining room windows. James was not happy with the weather or the delay. He stood at the window glaring at the sleet as if he could intimidate it. He, like Brother Matthew, was anxious to be off. James left the window and said, "The roads will be a mess of muck. Moses Aaron does not fancy muddy roads. It will be slow going for sure."

Brother Matthew started to comment but held his tongue.

Madame Coeur entered the room dressed in red wool shot through with gold threads. The buttons on her gown were covered with ribbon rosettes. On her feet, she wore red kid slippers. Lydia had never seen such a beautiful dress. Antone’s appreciative eyes ran the length of Madame’s body. Madame said, "Come, let us go to the library. Rashi has laid a fire for us there."

"A Library, I have heard tell of your library," said Antone. One eyebrow rose. He smiled.

Inwardly, Lydia groaned. Another round of Antone's flirting was not something she wanted to endure. She rose from the table and followed the others into the hall.

When they entered the library Antone abruptly stopped. There were rows of books on wooden shelves. In a hoarse whisper he said, "There must be over a hundred books here. May I look through one of them?"

Madame Coeur laughed, "Oui, of course and I would appreciate it if you read to us. This is a most dreary day. Please, the rest of you take a seat." James, Lydia and Brother Matthew took chairs and Madame Coeur said down on a settee.

For several long moments Antone's eyes roved the books. His face showed more ardor than she had seen on it before. Was it possible he appreciated books more than women? On the shelves, the books were bound in various colors of leather and parchment. Antone's fingers touched the spine of one book. He pulled it from the shelf. "You have Ovid! I have heard tell of his work but I have never read any." With reverent hands he opened the book and turned the pages. Crisp cream pages with exact jots of ink. Lydia wished she could make her ink letters look so fine. Antone went to the window and held the book to the light. In his fine voice he began to read. The verses he read were about the creation of the heavens and the earth but it was not the Biblical creation.

“And while

all other animals are bent, head down,

and fix their gaze upon the ground, to man

he gave a face that is held high; he had

man stand erect, his eyes upon the stars.

So was the earth, which until then had been

so rough and indistinct, transformed: it wore

a thing unknown before---the human form.”**

As he continued, Lydia listened and waited for the part where woman fouled the earth with her error. It did not come. No blame was cast on Eve at all. The poem traveled from age to age, from gold, to silver, to bronze to iron, and only men were mentioned, only the sins of men. Why had this poet, not blamed Eve? Eve was always blamed. Why, he had not even mentioned her. She looked to Brother Matthew for some reaction but he was sound asleep in his chair.

Antone's voice ceased. More pages turned. His lips moved in silence. So great was his absorption he forgot where he was, he forgot everyone, even Madame Coeur.

*

The rain and sleet had stopped by the next morning. James had them bring their their packs when they came down to the dining room to eat. Seeing their packs, Madame Coeur protested, “James, you need not hurry. The roads are a mire. It will be slow going and that could make you vulnerable. You best start out tomorrow.”

Too eagerly, Brother Matthew said, “We will be safe. We have God’s protection.”

Anger leapt in Madame Coeur's eyes. Hotly she said, “So thought many a murdered saint. God protects man’s soul, not his body. Have you not learned that by now?”

Brother Matthew responded. “Of course God values our soul over our body, but you cannot argue that at times God does offer special bodily protection. We have that. Dame Paston said we would make it and we will. I have great faith in her dreams.”

Perturbed Madame Coeur said, "I do not think your haste has anything to do with God or Dame Paston's dream. You want to leave because you do not wish to bathe again and you can not wait to get out of my house."

Brother Matthew colored up, but he did not lie, "TIs true Madame."

Madame Coeur turned away from Brother Matthew and looked at James. “Wisdom and caution are necessary. Please do stay. I will rest easier if you do.”

Antone asked, "Must we go, Uncle? One more day in pleasant company would be wise." As usual, Antone’s gaze was fixed on Madame Coeur.

Aware of his nephew's attention, James eyes narrowed. "We must travel when the weather allows.The sun is shining so we will leave. If this rumor about Pope Boniface's declaration of Jubilee is true, the roads will soon be clogged with sinners headed to Rome. I do not relish that scenario."

Madame Coeur shook her head. "Kind though you are James, you do tend toward stubbornness. Since I cannot change your mind, let us eat." She sat down at the head of the table. Of course, Antone took the seat nearest to Madame Coeur. He spent the entire meal being annoyingly witty. Lydia could not tell if Madame was genuinely amused by his banter, or if she was just being polite.

When the meal was over, they gathered up their packs. Madame Coeur embraced Lydia and kissed her cheek. "May the angels watch over you dear child." She released Lydia and extended her gloved hand to James. He wrapped it in both his hands and shook it. Brother Matthew refused to even touch her. He stiffly bowed. Before Antone took Madame's hand he cast a withering glance in Lydia's direction. Could it be? Was that jealousy she read in his eyes? Was he jealous of the kiss Madame Coeur had given her? It seemed so. He lingered over Madame's hand with an ardent kiss. James made a noise in his throat and Antone finally released the hand he held.

They tipped their pilgrim hats to Madame Coeur and headed for the kitchen. The cook stood by the servant's door with a large basket. Brother Matthew said, "I wil carry that!"

Outside the air was cold, and damp. In the barn Moses Aaron was not happy to see them. He liked shelter and comfort. It took a pear tart to lure him from his stall, and another to get him harnessed to the cart. When he was led outside he made a very ugly noise in his throat. All feared he would not proceed, but he did.

As they made their down the road, Lydia became aware of the changing landscape. The further they moved from the coast the more unlike home the world became. Land bound is what they were becoming. She had never lived very far from the sea, never been so far from home. Now, now she was headed far from all she knew. Had Moder felt this way when she traveled from Paris to Southampton when she married Fader?

*

Several times that day the cart got stuck. By day's end Lydia’s clean pilgrim's robe and cloak were caked in mud. For the first time, James was in a truly bad humor. In his shrill mule voice Moses Aaron brayed his protest. All their tempers were short. Antone remarked, "Would that we had heeded Madame's invitation and spent another night."

James did not respond. Instead, he drove the cart off the road and into a pear orchard. The ground was too wet to start a fire. Their supper consisted of cold tarts and venison that Madame Coeur's cook had packed for them.

When the evening light faded into smoky lavender, stars began to peek through the bare branches. Lydia recalled the verse Antone had read yesterday:

...to man

he gave a face that is held high; he had

man stands erect, his eyes upon the stars.

As she looked into the night sky she felt like she caught a glimpse of God. The stars were the steady light of heaven peeking through the darkness. In that moment Moder and Aunt Rachel seemed very near to her. Were they together watching over her?

James said, "It is too wet to camp on the ground we will have to stay in the cart."

"We will not all fit!" exclaimed Brother Matthew.

Antone said, "We will if Luke takes the seat."

"That will not do," said James. "Luke is too small to keep himself warm."

"Really Uncle your pampering of this lad will warp his manhood."

James growled, "If you think the seat is suitable you are welcome to take it."

Though it was too dark to clearly read Antone's expression, Lydia could sense his aggravation. He said, "All right I will."

Later after they had shifted their supplies to one side, they were packed in the back of the cart like fish in a brine crock. Exhausted, James and Brother Matthew had both fallen swiftly to sleep. Antone took watch on the seat. Carefully he scanned the darkness.

Wedged between James and Brother Matthew, Lydia gained a new appreciation for the male form. They were solid. She could feel the strength of them. Thomas Wade had not been the sort of father who held his daughter close. The only physical contact Lydia had had with a male was the disgusting hugs and kisses of Jacob Higden. James and Brother Matthew were nothing like Fader or Jacob. They were good, kind men.

Brother Matthew smacked his lips in his sleep. He was dreaming. Moments later he started to snore. Antone dealt him a swift whack to the head, but he did not silence or waken the monk. Irritated, Antone softly swore. What sort of man was Antone? So far he had not been as bad as Fader or as crude as Jacob, but he was also not like James or Brother Matthew.