《Sixguns and Spellfire》Chapter Fourteen
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“So, explain to me again how this works,” Agent Ruthersford said as he unwrapped the first of two soy chili dogs.
Teddy was a good sport at Chico’s Red Hots and Churros. He balked at the all-beef frank, but let me load the rest of his dogs up properly with a pile of vegan chili, cheese, grilled onions, and a couple of jalapenos.
I parked a few streets away from the warehouse on top of a hill so that we had a good vantage point. I aimed a pair of binoculars down and scanned the perimeter. Nothing moving. Yet.
“The point of the stakeout chili dog is two-fold.” I started unwrapping my dog. No soy for me. I was going 100% cow lips and beef additives. “First, these things are damn near impossible to eat in a car without wearing some of it.”
Teddy stopped tucking a napkin into the collar of his shirt and looked at me.
I shook my head and continued. “The first guy that drips chili on his shirt, buys the first-round next time we go out. And you get to look like an idiot for the rest of the day.” I took a giant bite, careful not to spill any.
“And the second part?” Theo didn’t seem to be enjoying this as much as I was. I haven’t had stakeout chili dogs in forever. I wasn’t gonna let Captain Salad Fork ruin my fun.
“The second part,” I grunted around a mouthful of delicious beef, beans, and cheese, “is that when we finish eating, we take turns ripping ass. The first guy to crack his window buys the second-round next time we go out.”
Agent Ruthersford immediately rolled his window all the way down. “Cash, this whole chili dog thing is extremely childish.”
“Aw Teddy, you can’t just give up. You haven’t even sucked down any of my swamp gas yet.”
He gave me a solid dose of the side-eye before taking another bite. “I will say,” he added after chewing for the exact amount of time to be polite, “you weren’t wrong about the quality of the cuisine at Chico Red Hots. Despite the unfortunate name, these are quite edible.”
“Right?” I wadded up my first wrapper and checked my shirt. Still freshly pressed. “I can’t believe you already rolled your window down. Now, what are we going to do for the next twelve hours?” I never took my eyes off the building.
“Converse like adults? Discuss the case? Solve world hunger? The possibilities are endless.”
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I rolled my eyes, but he continued. “I am not even sure why we are here. Why do you think we will learn something from this surveillance?”
“Well,” I polished off my second dog, “it’s unlikely that everyone involved with this place is living inside. We know for a fact that Billy was coming and going at least semi-regularly. It stands to reason if there was one, there will be others.”
“I see.” Agent Ruthersford dabbed at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. “So, if we do see somebody enter or exit the facility. What then?”
“Then.” I put my wrappers under my seat and took a pull off my soda. “We follow whoever leaves.” I made my fingers walk across the top of my steering wheel. “And maybe we snatch ‘em up if we get a half a chance.” I grabbed the walking fingers with my other hand.
“Snatch ‘em up?”
“You know, the old ‘gag ‘n bag.’”
Teddy looked at me blankly.
“We will apprehend them and submit them to interrogation.” He really was taking all the fun out of this with his soy dogs and napkins.
“Ah. And how do we get this unnamed subject to share the details of the plot?”
“Vee have vays,” I said in a terrible German accent.
Here came the side-eye again. “I hope you are not suggesting torture, Agent Renshaw.”
“Oh, of course not Teddy.” I adjusted myself in my seat, trying to get comfortable. “This isn’t Soviet Russia. We’ll just, you know, lean on him a little.”
“Lean on him?”
“Incentivize him to share what he knows.”
“It sounds like you are talking about torture again.” Teddy finally finished his second soy dog and took a sip of Pellegrino from a green bottle. I hadn’t known that Chico sold Pellegrino. Chico seemed surprised by it, too.
“No! Look, don’t worry about it. Let me do the talking.” I sighed. “Let’s change the subject. What’s the deal with the ladies in the office?” Still no activity.
“The deal?” Teddy sniffed. “I am afraid you will have to be a little more specific.”
Now it was my turn to deal Teddy a little side-eye. “Teddy. I have met a grand total of three women in my two days at the Agency and exactly 66.6% of them have made it clear they wouldn’t mind taking a few laps around the track with me.”
“Hmm, yes. I supposed our office does have a slight reputation for promiscuity.” I thought I saw a hint of a smile at the corner of Theo’s lips. “That’s not a problem for you, is it, Agent Renshaw?”
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“Of course, it’s a problem. I’m a married man. It’s also weird.”
“You were a married man. Now, you are a very unmarried widower.”
He paused for a moment to judge my reaction. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, but said nothing. He wasn’t wrong.
Teddy continued, “It’s a stressful line of work. People end up, leaving. Sometimes rather suddenly.”
“Like Patrick?” I said, referencing his late partner.
“Like Patrick,” he confirmed. “That and the fact that metas generally have a more relaxed attitude toward sex. Well, let’s say that we tend to take our comforts in each other while we can.” He looked out the window, avoiding my gaze.
“Are you gay, Teddy?”
“Excuse me?” He snapped back.
“Gay, homosexual, batting for the same team?”
“That’s an extremely inappropriate question, Cash.” Is harrumph a noise people make? Teddy harrumphed.
“Coooome on. I don’t care. It’s current year, for God’s sake. Half the cops I worked with were queer. It’s not a big deal. But if we’re gonna be partners, it’s something we should talk about. We can’t have secrets.” A man approached the warehouse on foot. He loitered on the corner, drinking from a brown paper bag.
Teddy sighed, “I abhor labels. Let’s just say that my sexuality is fluid and leave it at that. It won’t affect our partnership.”
I wanted to ask if Teddy was sharing his sexual fluids with Agent Faulkner, but I could see I was making him uncomfortable. So, I changed the subject. “What about Tina? She’s not a meta and her life is not in danger. Unless she could overdose on that sweet Guatemala java you’re bringing in.”
He smiled. “You’d be surprised how often Ms. Goodwin’s life is in danger. But no, she’s just husband-hunting. And she’s not shy about letting prospective grooms sample the goods, as it were.”
I chuckled at that. “You know what they say about milk and the cow.”
“Ms. Shaw does not appear to be familiar with that particular euphemism. It hasn’t worked out for her yet, but it certainly hasn’t dampened her enthusiasm. Or so, I’ve heard.”
“You gossipy cad, you…” I sat up straight. “Lookie here, T. Our first customer of the day.” I put the binoculars to my eyes to get a better look. The man that was hanging out on the corner was now walking toward the fence with purpose. He was wearing a white long sleeve t-shirt and long white shorts and looked to be Hispanic. Long socks pulled up to his knees, slide sandals, a black bandana, and wrap-around sunglasses completed his outfit. He paused briefly in front of a length of the ivy-covered fence and then he disappeared.
I slapped the binoculars into Teddy’s chest. “Holy shit, where’d he go!”
Teddy took the glasses and looked through them. “He must have gone inside the compound.”
“Through the fence?”
Agent Ruthersford shrugged. “Why not? There are several magical explanations. He could have teleported. He could have used a door concealed by an illusion. He might know a password that opens the fence.”
I sat back, dumbstruck. There was so much I still didn’t understand. I really needed to adjust my thinking. “Okay. We saw him go in, so that’s something. Now we just wait for him to come out.”
“And then the ‘gag ‘n bag.’” Agent Ruthersford added helpfully.
“Exactly.” I agreed.
We didn’t wait for long.
The same man came out from the same area of fencing about twenty minutes later. Like before, he just seemed to appear from nowhere. I turned the selector knob to drive and eased the car forward. The man didn’t seem to be in any hurry. We followed him from a safe distance until he turned into a blind alley.
“Now’s our chance T. Grab your vest.” I quickly closed the last few blocks and parked. We both grabbed our vests from the trunk and threw them on as we hurried into the alley. As we rounded the corner we saw the Hispanic man from before handing a small package to a lanky white dude. Now that we were closer, I recognized the man in white.
“Juan?”
Juan turned to me with a surprised look on his face. “Deputy Cash?” He had a heavy Mexican accent. The lanky dude didn’t hesitate and took off running down the alley.
“Stop!” I yelled. He didn’t.
“He’s a Were,” Teddy said calmly. I glanced over at him and he was wearing a glass monocle in one eye.
“Juan’s a Were?” I asked.
“Juan’s a Were,” Teddy confirmed. He took the monocle from his eye and tucked it into his breast pocket.
Then, Juan the Were went “RAWRR!” and I witnessed my first lycanthropic transformation.
Chili dogs may have been a poor choice.
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