《Big Red Button.》Press number ???
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You press the button.
Ding.
The walls are back to their nice, normal concrete selves.
There’s an old TV set sitting on the floor. One of those giant antique things, made before colors were invented.
Go ahead, turn it on.
No, it isn’t connected to anything, There aren’t any electrical outlets in here.
You turn it on anyways.
To your mild surprise, it turns on. A horrible sound quality blairs out a Captain Crunch commercial from the 60’s.
You take a seat, watching the commercial. After that comes another commercial.
And another.
And yet another.
You start to wonder if it’ll ever get to the show.
By the time you decide that this is the All-Commercial Channel I’ve had time to finish my pizza. Thank you.
You try to change the channel.
There are only three working channels, spread out between a grand total of twelve possible channels.
The working channels all show the same thing.
After watching for half an hour, getting thoroughly bored, it shows the Captain Crunch commercial again.
Yep! This is all it is!
Realizing you’ve just wasted half an hour of your very valuable time, you become frustrated with the tv. You glare at it for a few seconds, then get up.
You carefully judge the height of the tv, positioning yourself. Then, putting all your kung-fu movie knowledge into practice, you lift your knee and kick the screen.
It shatters, sparks flying everywhere. It’s quite impressive, and would have been even more impressive if your foot hadn’t gotten stuck.
The sound quality is now exceptionally bad, and I’m laughing my ass off.
You hop in place for a few seconds, trying to dislodge your foot. It- it’s great. You look so ridiculous.
Eventually you manage to free your foot, and step closer to inspect the damage.
The screen is very broken. There’s a foot-sized hole in the middle. It’s still sparking slightly, so I’d recommend not touching it.
You aren’t harmed, though. It’s a miracle you didn’t cut yourself, what with all the glass everywhere.
You step away, pleased with yourself.
Oh if only you had a sledgehammer…
DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No
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