《Madness, with a pinch of salt》Chapter 12: Partner

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There was a loaded silence, and then Nero and Lucia’s decisive voices rang out in unison.

“Impossible, my Lady!”

Joe blanched in the face of their defiance. “Wh-Why?!”

“Too dangerous!” Lucia cried.

“And too far away!” Nero added emphatically.

“Forget the witch, my lady, the forest of Sandora isn’t easy to reach. It’s not exactly a walk in the neighbourhood park!”

“Nero agrees, my lady! It’s almost a half day ride from here with a horse at full speed!”

“A-And hey, hey, hey! What about the beasts? What about the corpses? And what about the witch?!”

“Nero can fight the wild animals, but Nero doesn’t think that Nero can fight back against the witch!”

“Wait a second, dammit!” Joe yelled over the cacophony of insistent voices, a vein throbbing on her forehead angrily. “Who said anything about fighting the witch? I only want to talk to her!”

Lucia stepped back at the outburst. “Talk to her…. How?”

“Like any normal, civilized person, obviously!”

Joe was beginning to think that there was more gossip and useless rumor about the witch than any piece of actual information. Every person had their own version of the tale, custom-made to spread more useless gossip. It wouldn’t be surprising if the witch actually turned out to be just an introverted, harmless old crone living a harmless, normal life in her smelly cottage.

The explanation was obviously not enough for her companions, because they again went off in their frenzied complaints, listing one thing after another about how things could go wrong. Joe suppressed a sigh.

It shouldn’t be too difficult to reach the witch of the west, she thought. For all the big deal they made out of it, the forest of Sandora was pretty close to the Winsten mansion, way closer than even the royal capital of Riseindell. Surely it wouldn’t take half a day! And as for the beasts, Joe was certain that more than half of it was the villagers’ imagination. Or it was a rumor spread by the witch herself to keep nosy people away from her turf.

Either way, the witch seemed safe. There was no way an old biddy can live all alone in a forest full of wild beasts. From what Lady Joanna had told her earlier in the library, magic didn’t work on animals. And there was really no magic to miraculously revive the Dead. So the rumor of animated corpses might as well be a load of bullshit. Joe didn’t know why Lucia and Nero were being such cowards about it. Heck, if she’d had the permission to leave the Winsten manor, she’d just take a horse and go herself. The only problem was the master and the mistress of the manor. She’d inevitably have to face the wrath of the Winsten couple once they got wind of her shenanigans …….. Oh.

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Oh…

Oh.

Of course. She should have realized it before. Of-fucking-course. Joe wanted to kick herself in the face and punch herself in the gut for being so clueless. She was so used to being her normal, adult self that she just went ahead and made all the decisions on her own, without caring for the consequences of the people around her. Clearly, she’d forgotten that the normal Joanna Stuart wasn’t a thirteen year old aristocrat in a conservative, fantasy kingdom. The normal Joanna Stuart didn’t need to have maids and personal escorts following her around all day.

The normal Joanna Stuart wasn’t used to being important nobility with important, noble responsibilities, whose smallest decisions and fleeting whims could pretty much destroy the lifestyles of the people around her.

It wasn’t just that Lucia and Nero were afraid for her. They were afraid for themselves as well, just like they had every right to be.

She wasn’t just a working, independent woman anymore. She couldn’t go around making decisions on the fly without affecting the people around her.

Being nobility suddenly seemed a hundred thousand times more of a pain in the ass than ever before.

When Lucia opened her mouth to launch a fresh batch of dangerous what-ifs, Joe held up a hand to stop her. “I got it, I got it, Lucia.”

The maid stopped herself mid-tirade and cocked her head, clearly not having got it yet.

“My lady?”

Joe slumped back in her seat in resignation, her bangs shadowing her golden eyes. “Forget about it. Forget I said anything.” She said. “It was foolish and irresponsible of me. I won’t force you to take me to the witch again.”

Lucia and Nero exchanged confused glances; they’d honestly expected Lady Joanna to put up more of a fight. It surprised her, but Lucia thought happily that the current Lady was far more understanding than she’d ever been in her life. Well hey hey, no matter. As long as Lady Joanna didn’t drag her willy-nilly to dangerous forests and suspicious witches, she was more than content to serve her in any way possible.

Joe let out a disappointed sigh, and heard Lady Joanna scoff inside her head. You’re an idiot, that’s what you are! All it would take is to remind them of their place, and they’ll be forced to obey you. Why must you make it so difficult?

‘I suppose you’re right in your own kind of way’ Joe told the villainess in her head. ‘All it would take is to say “It’s an order!” and I’ll have their hands bound by duty anyway. The only ones who could override my orders would be the master and mistress, and all I’ll have to do is make sure that they don’t find out.’

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Isn’t that obvious? And even if they do, the servants are there to take the blame, aren’t they? It’s not like Father and mother could actually kick their own daughter out in the streets…. That would just create another kind of scandal in Triciella!

Joe couldn’t decide what was sadder in this strange circumstance; the fact that the real Lady Joanna would happily throw away her servants like used tissues, or that she couldn’t imagine her parents actually caring more about her than some, dumb little scandal.

Lady Joanna cared very little beside herself. Because predictably, she didn’t even spare it any thought other than snarking in that bored, haughty voice that sounded so superficial and fake. What has got you thinking so hard, you dunderhead?

‘Well, my fair Lady,’ Joe told her firmly, ‘This little dunderhead will do things differently. If I’m to live as an important noble Lady, I don’t intend to be irresponsible about those who serve under me.’

They’re just servants.

‘They’re people!’ Joe shot back fiercely. ‘And that’s all that matters! Don’t you get tired of the whole nobles-this-and-servants-that shtick?!’

The villainess went very quiet, and her head was filled with a mutinous silence. Lady Joanna obviously had no one talk back to her in the face ever before and Joe briefly wondered just what kind of upbringing she’d have to fuck up her morals this bad. Was this considered normal among the nobility in Triciella?

From the moment I was born, I never knew anything other that nobility and commoners. Lady Joanna bit back. You want me care about every commoner and their great grandmother out there?

‘So what? Weren’t you just lucky?’ Joe sneered at the woman. ‘Good for you, huh? You get to be born as a pureblood noble with a silver spoon in your mouth… and they just got the shorter end of the stick, with a nasty young lady as their mistress breathing down their necks. Must be nice being someone who never had to work a single day in your life, you spoiled, rotten child!’

Shut up, commoner!

‘Ah, you’re back to your true colors after all. Tell me, do you think that you’re worth anything other than your noble status?’

Shut up! SHUT UP! The voice in her head screamed with a vengeance, TAKE THAT BACK!

Joe should have stopped, but now she was far too gone to turn back. ‘What’s wrong, my Lady? Did dying so many times NEVER teach you any lesson?!’

The wail that followed sounded akin to a dying animal, and the current owner of the body could do nothing to stop the onslaught of screams. Begone! Leave my body alone! You’re JUST like the rest of them! YOU PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!

Joe winced at the volume, clutching head to stop the sounds, but that did nothing to deter the owner of the voice. There was a string of colorful insults (that Lady Joanna had undoubtedly learnt from her previous memories), before her voice became silent. It was an eerie silence, the kind that left a ringing note in your ears and a hollow in your mind.

‘I shouldn’t have said that.’ The thought washed over her as soon as she realized what she’d done. The last line was too cruel; it was completely uncalled for. It was the kind of viciousness Joe couldn’t imagine herself capable of showing. But the damage was already done.

Joe opened her eyes. After all these days of Lady Joanna’s constant presence inside her head, the quiet made her squirm nervously. There was no more voice, no more sneers. Her head cleared, as if a fog was lifted suddenly from her mind. It was unfortunate, but she knew that it was inevitable.

Joe realized that’s she hated herself for going too far, but she hated that she could do nothing to change her partner’s mind. Was Lady Joanna just as shallow as the writers of the game had intended her to be?

“My Lady?” Lucia’s voice brought her back to the present. It had a hint of genuine worry and instantly increased her guilt a thousandfold. “Is anything the matter? Are you in hurt?”

Argh! There went her plan of not getting chummy with the people around her. Joe was already —maybekindofsortof – becoming fond of Lucia and Nero (and maybe…. Lady Joanna as well). Her heart was just as treacherous as it was naïve, the stupid thing.

“It’s nothing, Lucia.”

The new clarity was startling. Her mind was clear. Her head seemed lighter than ever before. And yet, Joe felt a sudden stab of loneliness creep over her soul. She was utterly alone, again.

The steady presence of Lady Joanna had vanished from her mind, as if it had never existed there in the first place.

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