I braced for death. Lulu stiffened and tensed around me. And then, she gathered herself into a great big bouncy ball of slime, and launched herself bodily at the t-rex’s open maw.

I yelped in alarm. “The fuck, Lulu?!”

“FUU!” Lulu hit the animal’s muzzle with a splat. The huge dino chomped down, but the Limne was already spreading over its muzzle. Once its jaws were closed, the slime snapped herself around its mouth, tightening like a vice around the beast’s jaws.

And then, she plunged into its nostrils.

The t-rex stumbled back, slashing its head from side to side and trying to paw at her with its too-small arms. She was only able to hold its jaws closed for a couple of seconds before the animal broke free and pulled her apart like taffy, but a few seconds was all she needed. She was embedded in its nostrils and sinuses, blocking the dinosaur’s throat from the inside.

“Holy shit.” Panting, I stumbled up to my three working legs.

The rex’s shadow fell across me as it scraped bloody furrows into the sides of its own neck, its two-ton tail swinging toward me. I dodged the hammer blow just in time, scrambling under its body and launching myself at the inside of its thigh. I latched on there, clawing and biting, stabbing my tentacles into the meat on the inside of its leg. One of them found an artery, sending blood gushing out in a dark spray across the undergrowth.

[Vital Strike. X3 damage. T-Rex HP: 20,135/25,000]

Lulu was probably getting combat notifications, but I couldn’t see them. What I could see were the results. I had to clear out of the way as the rex staggered around in a dizzy circle, then collapsed. Gurgling and gagging, rolling from side to side, foreclaws waving, it desperately tried to dislodge Lulu. But it was no use. Its massive frame, six-ton jaw strength, and inexhaustible energy were powerless against the slime filling its throat. I ran around and nipped at it, finding and stabbing vital points on its body, racking up damage as Lulu doggedly choked the life out of it. After nearly ten minutes of struggling, the beast spasmed, dropped its head, and fell still.

[You have defeated T-Rex.]

[You gain 138 Exp]

[You are Level 16. You gain 1 Ability Point.]

Shaking, panting, I jumped to the ground and limped over to its head. Lulu slid out of its nostrils and out of the slack jaws, pooling on the mud.

“Shiiiiet. You done gone did it!” I thought at her, raising a hand. “High five!”

Lulu shivered as she ‘looked’ at my raised paw. And then she burst into tears and rolled forward to hug my other leg.

“Aww man… hey now, it’s alright.” I awkwardly patted the Limne on the back as she huddled closer. “You did it! You killed the bad guy!”

“HUUU HUUU HUUUUU!” Lulu howled just like she had in the trap.

Lord have mercy. At a loss for how to comfort a traumatized slime, I settled for acting the part of the stoic rock and kept a paw tucked around her while she bawled her little flagella out.

“You act like you never killed anything before,” I remarked to her, once the sobbing had died down to more of a hiccup. “First time’s hard.”

“Oooo.” Lulu shivered miserably.

“You handled that real well. You might not have fought before, but you sure as hell knew how to react during a crisis. That tells me you had some training before you were uploaded here.”

“Twooo…?” The notion made Lulu pause in her despair. “Uuu! Twoonuu!”

“You know, I wonder…” I rumbled and licked my teeth, opening my Inventory and peeking inside. In among the various velociraptor parts was my Lesser Legion command collar. “Do you know if these here collars make it so trainers can talk to their Legions?”

Lulu wobbled intensely for a moment. “Uuu nuu.”

“Yeah, I don’t know either, so it’s not worth the risk of accidental slavery. But hey - what do you say we buddy up, you and me?” I pointed at my own collar. “If you have one of these collars, you can clap it on yourself and no one can catch you.”

The top of Lulu’s bouncy ‘head’ extruded like a droplet… then tilted to one side in confusion.

I pulled my Lesser Legion collar from my Inventory. “Didn’t you get one of these? You can put it on. Those fuckers running around can’t use their command collars on us if we’re self-collared.”

“Uuuuuu…?” Lulu jiggled excitedly for a moment… but after a couple of seconds, she sunk down into a miserable blob.

“What? You didn’t get one?”

“Nuu.” She twisted sadly, paused, and then extruded ‘arms’ and reached up toward the collar I was holding. “Chuu!”

“Wait, hang on. If you put this on, that means you’d be MY Legion.” I held it just out of her reach, wincing. “I don’t want to enslave you. I just want-“

“CHUU!” Lulu bounded from the ground, snagged the collar out of my hand… and ingested it into her mass. As she did, I felt a strange sensation in the back of my head, like someone had pulled an invisible cable out of my brain and plugged it into the slime’s body. I suddenly had a deep sense of her presence in my mind… and I knew, somehow, that she’d obey any order I gave her.

It creeped me the fuck out.

[You have collared a Lesser Legion!]

[You have gained a new Lesser Legion: Limne (Level 11).]

[Do you want to name your Legion?]

“What? Like a dog or some shit? She can pick her own damn name.” I looked from the slime to the HUD and back. “Is Lulu the name you want the system to register?”

She thought about it for a moment. “Uuu. Lulu.”

[You are now the Master of Lulu – Level 11]

[Manage your Legion from the Legions Menu.]

“Just so we’re straight on this – I’m not your ‘Master’, and I’m not ‘commanding’ you,” I said. “You make your own decisions, okay? You’re a free slime.”

“Oooh.” Lulu inched over to the T-rex, climbed up over its dark purple tongue, and engulfed it happily. She began to pulse up and down. I honestly wasn’t sure if she was eating it or humping it, but I was glad that her memory for trauma seemed to be pretty short.

I shook my head, and limped over to start tearing at the rex’s belly like a normal, civilized predator. As I did, a list of loot appeared:

T-Rex Tooth Trophy Exotic Dinosaur Meat x 1000 Lucky Rex Claw Schematic: Ghillie Suit (Rare Quality) Schematic: Gas Mine

“Sweet.” I loaded the items and about a quarter of the meat into my inventory. It didn’t even take up two percent of my carry weight, so I loaded in the other 750 Rex steaks. That put me at about 20% of my total carry weight, and insured I wouldn’t go hungry again any time soon.

“I don’t know what Angel is going to do with a ‘Lucky Rex Claw’, but here we are.” I looked to Lulu, still happily digesting the dinosaur’s tongue. “Come on, kid. We have to return to base.”

Lulu slid out of the dinosaur’s mouth, leaving nothing but a cauterized stump behind. She blooped over to me and slithered up my leg to my back. She didn’t say anything, but somehow, I could feel her wordless satisfaction as I broke into a lope, used claws and punch puds to vault up and over the ravine, and followed my nose and instincts back to where Angel had made camp.

***

We arrived back to find Angel pulverizing wild tomatoes, chilies, and what looked like small onions into salsa. Three split fish were grilling on top of a flat stone she’d mounted over a small smokeless fire.

“You know every predator can smell that fish from a mile away, right?” I padded over to her and dropped down, panting like a tired dog. As we’d walked, I’d healed up some from the massive amount of food I’d eaten.

“Legions avoid gladiators unless we’re actively hunting,” she paused her work to sign, hands and face moving quickly. “Hang on.”

While she resumed grinding in her mortar and pestle, Lulu peeled herself off my body and hit the ground with a wet splat. She began to creep curiously toward the fire. When Angel glanced up, she nearly threw her bowl of salsa into the air, jumping in shock and letting out a strangled sound of surprise.

“EEEK!” Lulu cringed back from her.

“Woah, woah, woah.” I lifted my chin as the slime scooted back to me and wrapped her pseudopods around my neck. “Don’t worry about her. That’s Lulu.”

“Lulu?” Angel squinted at me in disbelief, then at the slime. Lulu coyly peeked back at her from around my head.

“Correct,” I replied.

“That’s a Limne. Don’t tell me you collared her?”

“Yeah. Though to be fair, she kind of collared herself.”

Angel scowled.

“Seriously, babe, she collared herself. I rescued her out of a trap, and she decided she wanted to stick with me. It’s cool. She’s smart, she’s brave, and she can understand telepathic speech. She’s the perfect addition to Team Angel-Noodles.”

Angel’s mouth sloped to one side. Admittedly, Lulu was cooing to herself as she tried to roll into the campfire again. “No, she isn’t. This is a disaster.”

“Why?” I signed, increasingly defensive.

“Limnes are one of the weakest Cutes you can capture. And now that you’ve collared her, she’s yours until she dies,” Angel signed back. “So now, if you ever want to get a more powerful Lesser Legion, you’ll have to kill her.”

I rumbled and reached out to gently grasp and lift Lulu before she burned herself, setting her back down between my paws “Them’s fighting words. Lulu isn’t weak. I just watched her drown a t-rex.”

“What level Rex?”

“Twenty-two. Tougher than me by a mile. The damn thing nearly killed my ass.”

“If a Rex nearly killed you, it’s either because you got ambushed while you were at low health, or because you weren’t paying attention.” Angel gave me a peevish look. “Any normal animal is about five times as weak as the weakest Greater Legion of the same level, for reference.”

I narrowed my eyes and pulled the squirming Limne to my chest. “Lulu’s my buddy.”

“You’re new here. You don’t know how this place works,” Angel insisted. “I… jeez. If she’s sentient, like you are, maybe she has an S-grade Prime Ability or something. What does her sheet say?”

I brought up the Legion manager. I was level 15, and Lulu was Level 11. Now that I’d collared her, her Legion sigil was there. It glowed a dark blue color, in contrast to my silver one.

Lulu (Limne, Level 10)

Hp: 1320

Weight: 28kg

Str: 99

Speed: 89

Stamina: 690

Damage: F

Defense: A

Instincts: C-

Limne, commonly known as Acid Slimes, are one of the most common Legions to be found in the Jungle. Scavengers who engulf and digest their prey, they can support Greater Legions with a combination of regenerative, defensive, and special abilities.

Prime Ability: Absorb

The Limne can engulf and devour a small or medium-sized Legion over the course of 10 minutes, gaining a random special ability from that Legion. The Limne can hold a maximum roster of 10 absorbed abilities, but each of these abilities is permanently available. Their trainer may erase abilities to allow them to learn new ones.

Offensive moves learned from Absorb deal 10% of the base damage. Defensive abilities can be used at 50% strength. This ratio improves at Levels 20, 40, 60, 80 and 100.

Lulu’s magic element triangle looked very different to mine. She was a Spirit/Water/Acid Legion, in that order. She had 6 ability points to spend on goodies. She’d already spent 4 of her 10 total points on one of her abilities, Drown:

Drown

By engulfing the airways of susceptible creatures, the Limne is capable of felling enemies and prey items much larger and more powerful than itself. While potentially deadly, anything with more strength than the Limne and the ability to pull it free can usually dislodge it.

I faithfully repeated all of this to Angel. She groaned.

“Her strength is terrible. Speed is about average. Her stamina is okay, but Absorb is both the most common and the worst ability a Limne can have.” She paused to rub her brow. “Drown might be good against animals with tiny arms, but it’s basically worthless against anything that can reach its own face.”

“Oh well. I’m stuck with her now.” I shrugged, and went back to the sheet.

“Noodles, this is your LIFE at stake.” Angel slashed her hands at me. “Do you WANT to die?”

“No. But I’m also not gonna kill Lulu just so I can win at some bullshit game. She saved my ass from a t-rex.” I had a look over the abilities that were now available to me.

Reaper Nemesis:

Needlegun: Explosively eject spines from your skin to puncture grappling enemies, dealing x2 Body damage and causing living opponents to flinch.

Speed Demon: Boost Speed by x2 for 30 seconds. Stacks with Bullet Time.

Bullet Time? I didn’t have that ability available or visible yet. The name was a clue, though. I was guessing it was some hyper-speed dodge ability.

White Noise: Emit a disorienting blast of Psionic force that savages Gladiator concentration-based abilities and deals +200% damage against Earth, Blood, and Air-type elementals.

Poison Cloud: Release a toxic cloud that deals damage over time and inflicts the Poison status on susceptible enemies.

Limne:

Analyze: Analyzes Legions consumed with Absorb. This provides the Limne’s trainer with detailed information about the consumed Legion, its abilities, and its strengths and weaknesses.

Liquid Armor: The Limne surrounds its Greater Legion partner with its matter. The Limne soaks 25% of incoming Piercing and Impact damage.

Water Saber: The Limne fires a highly pressurized blade of water, capable of dealing Body (slashing) damage as well as Water damage.

I twitched my tail as I considered my options. I had enough points for three abilities. Lulu had enough points for one.

“You know a lot about the game, right?” I asked Angel, who was now busy cramming fish and salsa into her face.

“Only what I’ve observed.” She signed once her fingers were free. “I try to pay attention and learn everything I can, but I’ve only been here a couple of months.”

“Okay. Well, I’m about to pick some abilities. What do you recommend?”

She frowned in thought. “The instructors at the Centurions boot camp told us we should pick Brute abilities that play to our Legion’s strengths, and Cute abilities that either enhance those strengths or cover the Brute’s weaknesses.”

“Cute abilities?”

“Yeah. Greater Legions are Brutes. Lesser Legions are Cutes.”

Brutes and Cutes. Right. “Got it.”

“I think the instructor was wrong,” Angel continued. “Actually… I was generally disappointed by the training. A bit suspicious, too.”

“Why?”

“Because I once watched a fight in the wild between two high-level Sponsored players who knew what they were doing, and they weren’t relying just on type-matching,” she signed. “They were leaning more heavily on sync moves. Their Legions worked together really well.”

“What’s a sync move?” My tail was lashing now. It had a life of its own, even more than the tentacles did.

“Abilities that a Brute-Cute pair can use together that syncs their powers and generates new move effects. They’re a better strategy than plain old type-matching. That’s my opinion.”

I considered the small roster of abilities available to us. “So like… what happens if we combine Liquid Armor and Poison Cloud? Or Toad Skin? Will I poison Lulu as well?”

“Maybe. But honestly? I wouldn’t worry about abilities too much until you’re at least Level 20,” Angel replied. “Each Realm has a level cap. You can’t get higher than Level 50 in the First Realm. Personally, if I had Legions, I’d take them out into the wilds and train them until they max out from PvE at around Level 25, THEN assign abilities and start PvP.”

“Hmm.” It was a good strategy. With a pool of points, you could build a better deck, so to speak. Because the higher tier abilities were hidden until you reached the appropriate level, you didn’t really have a way to plan for the future.

“I have a notion that Lulu and I will have some sync moves we can use, so I’ll assign a few points now to lay some groundwork, and save the rest until we hit Level 25.” I nodded, satisfied.

“Ooooh!” Lulu chirped in agreement.

I picked Murder Mittens, Needlegun, and Psychostimulant for myself. I chose Dermal Armor for Lulu. When I chose the abilities, the spheres flared with bright light before the powers locked in.

“Hell yes.” I shook out my spines and licked my muzzle. “Good choice, Lulu. Should I say so myself.”

“Guuu.” The slime blew some frothy bubbles from her surface.

[Do you wish to confirm your selection?]

“Yes.”

A wave of energy rippled through my body. The skin of my back began to itch, and I growled, trying to bring a foot up and back to kick at it. Lulu began to quiver. Her blueish slimey mass gained a silvery tint.

“Guess that means you can make armor for me now, huh?” I patted her on the ‘head’. “So, now what?”

“Oo!” Before I could stop her, Lulu suddenly bounced out of my paws and landed right inside the mortar and pestle. Angel yelped as salsa went everywhere.

“God dammit, Noodles!” Angel chopped her hands at me viciously as Lulu ingested the entire mortar and pestle and began to slowly bob up and down, just like she had with the t-rex tongue.

“She likes spicy food, okay?” I yawned, and lay my head down on my paws.

The slime gurgled, slowly turning from blue to red.

“Or maybe not. You alright there, Lulu?” I squinted at her.

There was a pregnant pause as the slime turned bright crimson. Then she ejected the mortar and pestle, sending them flying, and rushed for the cold water.

“Maybe not as spicy as I like it.” Angel watched, amused, as the Limne jumped into the pool and began to frantically jet around like a jellyfish. “Anyway. If we’re going to get to Hope tomorrow, we need to get some rest, my friend.”

I grumbled, sighed, and lay my head down.

“You know… I was wondering…” Angel fidgeted for a moment, struggling for her words.

“Huh?” I tilted my head, like a curious dog.

“Actually, don’t worry about it.” She glanced at my collar, and sighed. “Get some sleep. We have a long way to go.”