Malcolm hurried down the tunnel, clutching his side, and cursing his bad luck. Just a moment ago, he had it in his hands. His beloved sniper rifle Zeus. That sucker could easily blow a hole through the roof, which was what he exactly did.

But it had been taken once more. Not by the General Goblin, but by the highest presence in this cavern.

The Goblin King.

He hadn’t expected it. He had used Dalton as a diversion because he knew the boy would be fine. That tie he wore, bore strong magic. It would protect him from harm and bring calamity to those that harm him.

It was probably why harm came down to Malcolm. His sniper rifle was taken, and now he was running away before the goblins calmed down to claim him.

Malcolm pushed his way through the dark tunnels, and then passed a well-lit area.

Ozul was hanging like bait in tied on a fishing hook, wearing a wedding dress.

“Boss.” Ozul nodded to him.

“Ozul.” Malcolm returned the nod. “Nice to see you, goodbye.”

“Wait boss. Wait! Get me down from here! Please!”

Even now, Malcolm always thought Ozul was a prick. He continued to walk away.

“I know where your revolver is!” Ozul yelled.

That made him make a half-turn heel step back towards the entrance to the well-lit area.

“You do?” He was skeptical. He took a careful step towards him and made sure there wasn’t a goblin hiding in the room somewhere. “And where is it Ozul?”

“Get me down, and I’ll tell you,” Ozul said.

“If I get you down, then you’re just going to tell me you don’t know. Tell me and I’ll let you down.”

“You don’t trust me that much?” Ozul said exasperated.

“Damn right I don’t!” Malcolm snapped. “You would sell your mom out if it meant surviving. I know exactly what type of person you are Ozul. So, let’s not fuck around here. Where is Sebastian?”

“I won’t tell you until you get me down.” Ozul repeated. “But heck, I’m sure if you leave me, you’ll be able to get past the goblin ridden tunnels without a weapon.”

He was right. All Malcolm had was more goblin pheromones. He did not like seeing this idiot loose. On the other hand, if he did release him, he could cover him with goblin pheromones and use him as bait.

So, with a lot of misgivings, Malcolm used the key on the table, and unlocked the padlock tied around his waist. Ozul landed on the ground, patting the dirt off his wedding dress.

“I lied; I don’t know where you gun is.”

“Goddamit! I fucking knew it!” Malcolm threw his hands up in the air.

“Oh actually, I do.” Ozul perked up, pointing right behind Malcolm. “It’s right behind you.”

“Oh, come on, Ozul.” Malcolm snorted. “I know this trick. You’re going to knock me out, take my clothes and escape yourself.” He took out a bottle of pheromones at Ozul. “I think you deserve to rest with your goblin prince.”

Something whacked him at the side of his head, and he fell onto the table. The bottle fell from his hand, and his vision shook as he turned around to see what had hit him. A giant goblin, not as big as the general goblin, held Sebastian like a hammer and had whacked him with it.

“No, no. Not like that.” He saw double visions of Ozul showing him how to shoot. “Finger on the trigger and then shoot.”

That asshole was teaching a goblin how to shoot. If he didn’t die, he was going to kill him. Malcolm felt the ground and found the pheromones. He lobbed it over, but it hit the goblin without breaking.

Malcolm knew he was fucked.

The goblin took a step forward, and Malcolm decided to just go for it.

Malcolm rushed forward, not at the goblin, but at Ozul. He put Ozul in a chokehold.

“Put the gun down, or I’ll kill your baby bo-”

Several pops resounded through the area and tunnel. Ozul hurled forward a glob of blood from his mouth. There were a few holes through his chest and blood bloomed and spread on the wedding dress he wore.

The goblin cried out, not understanding that he was the one that shot the idiot. Malcolm moved swiftly towards the exit, but the goblin blocked it. Anger lit its beady red eyes as it pointed his revolver at Malcolm. It clicked empty.

Sensing a chance, Malcolm ran to the side, only to meet a fist in his face. He felt a crack reverberate as he fell to the floor. His nose was hot, and blood leaked from it like a broken faucet. His fingers brushed on the square bottle of pheromones, and he grabbed it before seeing the goblin crouch down to grab his throat.

He lifted Malcolm up, his grip on his throat tightened. His air squeezed out of his mouth. His eyes bulged and his gaze wildly darted around the room for an escape.

And there was, laying down in a puddle of his own blood.

“-!” He couldn’t speak, but if he could, he would have told the asshole to get up.

His fingers unscrewed the bottle as his vision was being eaten by darkness. It was way too early to be isekai’d for him. Malcolm lifted the opened vial and threw it on Ozul.

The goblin dropped him as if a hammer had struck its head. As he gasped, the goblin’s nostrils flared taking in a huge amount of goblin pheromones. Looking at its lower half, Malcolm knew that the pheromones worked.

The goblin dropped on all fours, hovering over Ozul. It long tongue playfully licked Ozul’s neck. Then, it ripped off the wedding dress like a birthday present. The faker started to squeal as he realized what the goblin was about to do.

Ozul’s eyes were wild, and he met Malcolm.

“Save me!”

While that was going on, Malcolm around the two writhing bodies. One struggling to escape, the other struggling to enter. Malcolm found Sebastian on the ground, he rummaged his jacket pocket and found some bullets and he popped open the chamber to reload it.

When he was all done, he pointed the hand cannon at the Goblin’s temple, and blew a hole through its head.

Ozul pushed the body off him, looking like a sullied bride on their wedding night, that had the unfortunate decision of stabbing their groom.

“Thank you,” Ozul said, almost in tears.

“No shit.” Malcolm blew out some air in frustration. “But you couldn’t even bring yourself to help me out. Pretending to be dead when you’re the most unlikely to die.”

He pointed Sebastian at the healed wounds he had. The bastard had regenerative abilities. He wouldn’t die even if he was shot in the head. A feat that he had done one time.

“I’m sorry…” Ozul trailed off, he turned his gaze away, he wouldn’t meet Malcolm’s eyes. “To be fair, I was hoping you’d be killed and I could just sneak off.”

“Your scum.” Malcolm spat on the rocky floor.

“By the way, where is Dalton?”

“I sacrificed him to save myself.” Malcolm hosted Sebastian on his shoulder. “Are you about to lecture me on how to be a good boss? I’d like to hear it from the guy pretending to be dead.”

“Well, no. I guess not.” Ozul stood up, blowing out a relieved sigh. He looked at peace as he finally met Malcolm’s gaze. “It’s just nice to know that you are as corrupt and terrible as me.”

“Alright, that’s great. Cause you’re going to help me blow the Goblin King’s head off.” Malcolm crotched and took the bottle of pheromones. There was still half of it left inside. “And you’re going to help me with that.”

Ozul turned his head. “How about no.”

“Not up to you.”

Malcolm pointed Sebastian at Ozul.

“Oh, come on. That’s not going to do anything.” Ozul pointed at his healed wounds.

Malcolm shot him in the shoulder. He yelled out a curse, glaring in hatred at Malcolm.

“Why did you shoot me?”

“To prove that these bullets are in fact cursed bullets, and to prove that I can kill you and pin you in an isekai world where you’re a goblin.”

“You-” His eyebrows knitted. “Where did you get cursed bullets from?”

“From Dalton.”

“I’m going to kill that man.” He muttered under his breath.

Malcolm felt he was getting the wrong idea. These were definitely his bullets, but all he had to do was rub his bullets on Dalton’s skin and presto! Cursed bullets, ready to kill any semi-immortal being.

“So, you gonna help me get back Zeus?” Malcolm pulled Sebastian’s hammer.