Dalton had hoped that the next day, Malcolm would be asleep at his desk, and he wouldn’t have to deal with him. He had been in that state for the week he worked here, so why would he expect anything less.

That didn’t happen.

Malcolm was fully awake and sitting on his chair. He waved at Dalton when he came in.

“You’ve got your first client.” He held up a file.

“It isn’t my first client.” Dalton took the file and flipped through the pages. Same type of client he had for the past few days. A NEET with nothing to live for. Cool.

“Ozul says that your worthless when it comes to these meetings, so I will be supervising you.” Malcolm stood up with a grunt. “Now let’s hurry this up, I want to eat some breakfast.”

#

“This is my moment,” the client said after he was given an explanation. His hands shook with anticipation. “I have the right to decide my new life.”

“Be aware there are limitations to your demands.” Dalton pushed the binder full of powers. “Just check out this binder of what we are allowed to grant you.”

“I need no binder!” The man tossed it aside. “I know exactly what I’ve want! It is the soul of what every man wants!”

“Please, don’t say it-”

“I want to be a hot spring!”

Dalton covered his face in shame. The man across the table from him, had straightened his back in triumph. That was the problem, his clients were simply shameless, believing him to be the equivalent of some wish granting deity.

In the corner of the room, Malcolm dropped his mouth in shock. The bag of chips were slipping in his hand.

He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

“Alright, let’s say we do grant that request. Your job is supposed to be defeating the Demon King. How are you supposed to defeat the Demon King by being a hot spring?”

“It’s simple.”

Dalton highly doubted that, but the client’s eyes were sparkling.

“The Demon King will want to take a bath eventually. So, she’ll come to the hot springs. Once she steps in me, I will ravish her!” His fingers squirmed like a worm. “I will ravish her until she squirms and squeals! And eventually when she is satisfied, she will give up her conquest!”

Dear lord, the man was an idiot.

“Ah! I know that look! That’s the look of somebody who doesn’t believe in me!” The man pointed at him.

No shit.

Dalton forced a smile. “Let me explain to you why that won’t work. First and foremost, the Demon King is an old man. It’s in the name.”

The man’s expression twisted in despair. “What? That can’t be true!”

“Second, even if they were a woman, why would they even come to a hot spring known for sexual assault?”

“My perfect plan….perfect….” He wasn’t listening. He was still in deep shock from the revaluation he just had.

“No.” Malcolm placed a hand on the fallen man’s shoulder, giving the man a hopeful smile. “It is perfect, because the Demon King has a daughter.”

Hope returned to his eyes. “Da-daughter?”

Dalton wasn’t having it. He slammed his hand down on the table.

“Malcolm.” The two turned to him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m telling him the truth.” Malcolm pumped his fist.

“We can’t grant him a reincarnation as a sentient hot spring,” Dalton explained. “There is nothing like that in the binder.”

“I can grant him that.” Malcolm pumped his chest forward. “I have authorization to grant you that.”

“Master.” The client’s eyes sparkled.

Their eyes met and an unspoken conversation happened between them as they gave an affirmative nod and clasped their hands in brotherhood.

“Even if you granted him that, it won’t make the world a better place. In fact, I’m sure it will make my world a worse place. People will avoid a sexual assaulting hot spring like the plague.”

“This man doesn’t understand anything at all.” The client shook his head.

“No, he does not. Go ahead and explain to this pleb why it will work.” Malcolm agreed.

“Why don’t you go ahead and explain it then!” He still smiled, but a vein bulged on his forehead.

The client cleared his throat. “It’s very simple. I will be a sentient hot spring. Women will come to me to get bathed. Men will not be allowed. The women that bathes in me will have a permanent buff on their status. Those women will fight the Demon King and kill him. The newly appointed Demon Queen shall bathe in me, and I shall cleanse her of her desire for domination and revenge.” A satisfied and smug smile cracked across his face. “World saved.”

Dalton faltered. He covered his hand and tears were running down his eyes. Why was this happening to him?

“Look at that brother, he understood your desire to save the world!” Malcolm clapped his hands.

“Yes, we did!” The client agreed.

This had to be the dumbest plan he had ever heard…so far.

“No! I don’t agree to this-”

While he was still in shock, Malcolm was playing with Dalton’s terminal. Dalton pulled his wrist away, but it was too late. A portal opened.

“Hurry my brother! Go before he closes it!” Malcolm yelled.

Before he could stop them, the client saluted Malcolm and jumped into the portal.

“Wh-what did you just do?”

“I did what he wanted. He is now a hot spring.”

Dalton opened up a screen to Cedara, the planet that the client was sent to. To his disappointment, the Wellness Index for that world had dropped by a hundred points. Mostly due to the sexual harassing hot springs that was unleashed in his world.

Malcolm peered over his shoulder and whistled. “Wow, he caused some havoc.”

Dalton mechanically turned to Malcolm. His eyes were bloodshot with rage. “No shit! Why did you allow him to make a reckless wish like that?”

“Because it was funny.” Malcolm nodded.

Dalton felt like he was about to leap him, but he felt something cold under his chin. Then a familiar sound of a gun being cocked echoed in the empty room.

“Don’t even think about it.” His eyes then went down to his tie. “What’s with that tie there?”

“My tie?” Since his lemon and lime one had ripped, Maya had given him a new tie that looked like a computer circuit. “My girlfriend gave it to me.”

“Your girlfriend gave you that tie?” His eyes widened. “Just to be clear you said girlfriend?”

“I’m not a virgin!” Dalton yelled.

“I didn’t say that. I just wanted to be sure.” He cocked his head. “Why would was that your first response?”

“Because that’s all I’ve been called by people.”

“I see. I see.” As he observed the tie, he cracked a dangerous grin. “You can be used.”

“What’s that now?”

“Tonight, you’re coming with me!” He slapped him on the back. “You’re useful!”