Chapter 11 - Aren’t Adventures Supposed To Be Fun?

“Break time!”

Winter’s cheery voice sounded through the fabric of the saddle bag. I groaned and reluctantly dragged myself out of the bag and onto the picnic mat with a soft thud. It was day four of the rescue mission, and I already felt dead.

Bored to death and pained to death. If this potato body could feel sore, it most likely would be sorer than a man who’d been running on uneven ground for a year. Without stopping. Carrying a horse on his back. Naked.

You get the idea.

Anyways, it was about time I introduced the six members of the party on the rescue mission. Apart from me and Kearan, which I already knew about, of course.

To start off, Jay. Jay was your typical over-energetic teenager, who refused to wear anything but a tunic and short pants. He had short blonde hair and blue eyes that seemed to always sparkle with excitement. His weapons of choice were the triple daggers, similar to the ones I had seen May use. For some reason, he was also unnaturally fast and reminded me of an assassin. It probably had something to do with his skills.

Next on the list, Edith. Edith was, physically, a monster of a man. However, at times he had a mental switch to a child, and was a masochist. When sparring, he would tank hits on purpose while smiling like it was the best feeling in the world. He had long brown dreadlocks and heavily tanned skin which suited his huge physique. Strangely, instead of the massive war axe or sword I expected him to use, he preferred to fight with his bare hands. When I brought this up with him, he simply answered me; “I always end up breaking the handle of my weapons, so I decided to use my own body as a weapon instead.” Honestly, he was very strange. But kind of nice, as well. Although Edith was clearly older than most of the people in the party, he never acted superior. He was always kind and humble.

I met Raul and Mox for the first time yesterday. They were brothers, and were both young adults. The weird thing was, they couldn’t have been more unalike. Raul was clumsy, energetic and a brute, while Mox tended to approach things more methodically. He was the definition of calm. Both of them used a two handed longsword and often sparred with each other in the evenings.

Verity was one of the only two women coming along. She had short blonde hair that bobbed on her shoulders when she moved around. She was quiet, and probably the most normal out of everyone in the group. There was an air of grace around her unlike the others, which probably accompanied how she chose to wear a dress while on horseback. A bow lay an arm’s length from her at all times. She was one of the younger members of the party.

I could understand how Winter received her name. She had dangerously long white hair which was neatly braided and had begun to show specks of grey, most likely from dirt and sand. I say dangerous because when one had to fight and flee to survive, long hair became a liability you really didn’t need. Since childhood, I had always dreamt of having long hair. But my parents, especially my father, would slap me if I ever brought it up. The monthly hair-cutting day was a nightmare for me. I’d be dragged out to a courtyard on a stool, half naked, and be shaved almost bald.

Ugh. I shuddered at the memory.

Thankfully, that was in the past. Now I was a potato and… damn, I was a potato.

I had begun to hang out more with Winter than anyone else, due to how she was tasked with setting and making the meals for the squad. She’d revealed to me that one of her skills enabled her to form an invisible blade surrounding any object. This gave her extra reach with her rapier and enabled her to use her fingers as a knife. It was great for cutting up potatoes, which she did all too often.

She acted like an older sister instead of a mother to the party, even though she made all the meals and took care of their wellbeing most of the time. But the real reason why I liked her was because she seemed interested in me- not just for food generation.

The others- especially Mox and Raul, couldn’t care less about what I did or how I fared, so long as I constantly produced potatoes. I couldn’t figure out why they didn’t like me. Was it because I was an L’Der? Or the fact that I was a potato made me hard to approach? Who knew.

Today was no exception.

While the squad enjoyed their breakfast of baked potatoes, courtesy of me and Winter, I snuggled by her side and opened up my status window.

___________________________________________

Winston June

Title: Not So Lil’ Spud

Race: Potato

Path: Path to Potato Godhood

Faith: 0

Xera: 100/100

Path Skills:

[Divine Being] (Passive) {Maxed}

Race Skills:

[Germinate] (Active) {3/30} [Potato Battery] (Passive) {2/40}

Misc. Skills:

[Mind Speech] (Active) {5/20} [Super Weak Telekinesis] (Active) {4/5} [Area Of Awareness] (Passive) {7/25}

___________________________________________

Nothing much had changed from the time I had left, apart from a few skill level ups. I still hadn’t figured out how to increase my rank and title, and so far had no new skill evolutions.

Bored again and not wanting to watch my children be eaten in front of my own eyes, I floated up to the rock where Kearan sat, keeping watch.

Throughout this whole entire trip, I’d expected to be scared, to be excited, even to be hurt. But the one thing I hadn’t expected was to be bored.

So far, there had been no monsters, let alone monster fights. Apart from the occasional rabbit or harmless animal that had begun to show up, there were no other creatures. Right now, we were still on the Major Agirdian Bridge, which was one of the five bridges that spanned across the Crevasse. The Crevasse was a massive ravine that surrounded the entire Kingdom of Terralica. It was half a kilometre deep and spanned at least a hundred from each side. According to ancient lore, the Major Agridian Bridge was created by a hundred sorcerers with earth magic- which would explain why it literally seemed to be torn out of the ground. Somehow, they’d managed to make the bridge sturdy enough to hold supposedly a hundred thousand people. Not that there’d ever be a hundred thousand people on the bridge. The only people we’d seen apart from ourselves were returning adventurers or messengers.

No monsters.

Most monsters weren’t able to get anywhere near the kingdom due to the Crevasse, but those that did were either crazy strong, or had somehow evaded all the guards and adventurers on the bridges by flying over the Crevasse. Since Omani was a border town, it had one of the highest number of monster attacks in a year.

The Major Agridian Bridge was made out of brittle dirt, rock and sand. There were no trees. There was no grass. Nothing grew here, and it was only yesterday that we’d begun to see some form of life that had undoubtedly crossed over from Oblivion. It was literally a wasteland.

“We’re almost there.” Kearan’s voice intruded my thoughts.

‘Almost where?’

He balanced his half-eaten baked potato on the rock and pointed to something far off in the distance. “You see that green line on the horizon?”

I sighed. ‘No.’

To me, he was pointing at darkness.

“Ok, then.” He tried yet again and pointed more aggressively. “You see that green speck really far off over there?”

‘No.’ I answered flatly. ‘Changing your description doesn’t help.’

He bit his lip in frustration and stood up, stretching even further to point. His arm was so stretched up to a point I didn’t even think was humanly possible. “Youuuu seeee thaaaat-” He began.

‘Sorry to cut you off, but I can’t see anything outside a radius of ten metres. Just another benefit of being a potato.’

“Oh.”

Instead of backing off like I expected him to, he became a little agitated. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” He asked accusingly.

‘I was going to-’

“Why didn’t you?” He butted in.

‘Because you didn’t let me finish.’

“Oh.” He repeated and stared at the floor dumbly.

A moment of awkward silence hung between us.

Thankfully, he regained his pride quickly and began talking again. “What I was trying to show you before was the border of No Man’s Land. We’re nearly there. Once we reach it, the real adventure starts.”

‘Real adventure?’ I questioned.

“Yup.” He smiled wickedly. “Monsters at every corner, all hungry and ready to tear us apart.”

I must’ve been shaking in fear or something, because his smile grew wider. “I hear they like eating potatoes too…”

‘Can we change the topic?’ I asked quickly. ‘How do you plan to find the people we’re rescuing anyways? How do you know they aren’t already dead?’

“Huh? Oh, didn’t I tell you? Once you get to a specific rank- which is different for every L’Der, you’ll be able to set quests, track and communicate with your Gifted. It takes a whole lot of xera to do it, though.”

That was useful. Except for the fact that I didn’t have any Gifted in the first place. For now, at least.

While I was thinking about my Gifted, Kearan had finished his meal and hopped off the rock.

“Alright guys! He called cheerfully. “If everyone’s done, let’s get moving! I reckon we can reach No Man’s Land by this afternoon if we ride fast.”

“We better.” Grunted Edith. “I’ve been dying to wrestle a horned boar for way too long.”

“He’s right.” Jay called out. “If I don’t find some monster flesh to slice up soon, I might actually lose to May next time we meet.”

A chuckle passed through the group as they began to pack up their things. Apparently, there was some sort of rivalry between the two.

“What about you, June?” Winter asked as she lifted her saddle bag flap for me to hop in. “You ready to kick some monster butt?”

‘Uh…’ What could I say that was cool, but also went along the lines of; ‘Fuck no! I wanna go home!’

‘We’ll see.’ Was the best compromise I could come up with.

She giggled and squeezed me into a hug. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get really strong after some time. But for now, we’ll all protect you. Just sit back and watch the show!”

I wasn’t listening.

I’d already drifted off to heaven the moment she pressed my body against her incredibly soft bosom.

Maybe, just maybe, becoming a potato hadn’t been so bad after all.

We reached Oblivion just after noon. You could tell without looking that we were entering monster territory. Instead of the endless silence, there were the sounds of nature. Creatures bellowing, birds chirping, water running. The sounds of crunching of feet upon sand and dirt had been replaced by the swish-swish when their legs brushed against the long grass.

On the other hand, the squad had begun to traverse slower and more carefully. We’d stopped riding, and were now all on foot. The horses had been tied together and were led by Verity. Kearan had devised a defensive formation for travelling, since monsters could be lurking anywhere.

Jay led the front of the pack, with Edith following closely behind. Kearan, Winter and Verity stayed near the horses while Raul and Mox guarded the back. This was to ensure that our supplies were safe at all times and we couldn’t be surprise attacked.

Thus far, thirty minutes into Oblivion, there had been no encounters. So, I began to relax a little. Though this may have been a dangerous place, you had to appreciate the scenery.

The giant oak trees, blindingly green grass and sparkling river, I couldn’t understand why our ancestors hadn’t chosen to settle down here, instead of that island.

“June, keep your eyes open.” Kearan warned, fading into view.

‘I don’t have eyes.’ I replied, but he gave me a look that told me this wasn’t the time for snarky comments. ‘I’ll keep watch.’ I quickly corrected myself.

He blended back into nothingness, and I sighed. Yes, he was only a teenager. Yes, he was just a commoner. But he was also an L’Der. An L’Der that was, as of now, a lot more powerful than me. I had a right to be afraid.

Snort. Snort.

‘Oh stop that.’ I called out. ‘You can’t scare me with your little ‘peek-a-boo’ trick.’ Kearan was really taking this one step too far.

Snnnooorrrttt.

‘Still going?’ I didn’t even bother looking around. Teenage boys and their silly pranks, honestly, it wasn’t even funny-

All of a sudden, a loud, strangely guttural squeal echoed through the trees. I spun around. What was that? No human was capable of making that kind of noise.

I should have mentally prepared myself more before turning, for the sight in front of me was hard to take in.

Kearan, as spindly as his frame was, casually dragged a massive boar by the horn, an oversized blood stained dagger in the other hand. His clothes were splattered with a little bit of blood, and a smile stretched across his face. He looked like a serial killer.

“First kill!” He called excitedly, lifting the three hundred pound creature even higher. How had his arm not snapped off from the sheer weight of it?

The squad didn’t seem surprised, and instead surrounded him, offering congratulations and wolf whistling at the size of the boar. Was not a single one of them surprised?

Before I could ask how he’d killed it, not to mention how he’d managed how to kill it without making a sound, the ground began to rumble.

Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum.

‘Earthquake?’ I asked Winter.

“No…” A smile slowly spread across her face, as well as the others.

“Monsters.” They all said unanimously.