“Hehehehe,” cackled the pack of witches, riding in hot pursuit on their brooms.

Also joining the hunt following them was a large airship with a magnetic tow line dangling underneath and finally a dropship full of Killin company men. It was nighttime in the desert and they had zeroed in on their juicy target.

The big rig continued steaming down the train tracks plowing the sand piles in the way aside with the custom plow. They chased it while the occupant blind fired at them from inside the cabin. Jed couldn’t see anything due to some kind of flash spell penetrating the visor with the witches' cackles reverberating in his stinging cranium with enough lights to start a rave.

He knew his dual wielding revolvers needed a refilling. It was a good thing the vehicle was zooming on rails. He could keep the pedal stuck to the floor without worrying about steering anywhere. He was trying to pull out bullets, dropping some in his lap. Jed’s vision came back a blurry monotone sapped of color. His guns spun open, and he filled them from his bandolier one bullet at a time. He had just enough handy to fill all six holes with sleight of hand.

He checked the only remaining side mirror to catch a witch in the blind spot. Jed shifted lower, putting alotta strain on the engine. The truck revved and the witch closing the distance took a face full of smoke from the stacks rolling magma burn. She sputtered off into a coughing fit before the broom stabbed into a billboard throwing her off onto the ground with a crunch. Jed’s brief chuckles were cut short by three more crones descending parallel to the truck.

“Hehehe,” they cried, aiming warty winds that sparkled in the moonlight.

He ducked as the vehicle thrashed. There were objects in the way of the tracks hitting and splintering the debris from something ahead blowing sky high and raining over the tracks. While stuff continued falling onto the reinforced cab of the speeding vehicle he shifted into sixth gear. Jed aimed across the seat through the passenger with his free arm.

“Bang."

The bullet flew directly into the witches mouth who had blown a bubble of gum.

“Pop?”

A fast moving piece of leaded crystal had been stopped by a miniature blown pink protective bubble. The witch in question cackled and showed off a fresh package for protective crystal chewing gum. She blew another bubble that vaporized half of the extended side mirror from the vehicle using the mini force-field.

Jed rolled up the scrap metal window and reached for unworn pieces of his advanced armor on the passenger floor. He missed the emergency sign placed between the crosstracks and labeled “DANGER!”

“Crash!”

The big rig plowed through heavy objects blocking the tracks. Jed jumped in his seat being smashed around as the axles jumped off the rails The cabin rang with an amplified screech of pain that rang his ears like a bell as he crashed.

One of the pursuing witches' bubbles burst and she planted face first into one of the boxes. The hidden anvil inside rang out her demise. The tracks were filled with all sorts of mysterious wooden containers breaking apart from the barreling tanker. There must have been a million splinters flying through the gaps in the chicken wire welded over the front windows.

Isabella the boss witch blew the highest above the action and had the biggest bubble yet forming a shell around her head. She sped ahead vaporizing box after box in one row of the five utilizing her magic wand. There were confetti explosions, special effects, crystal shards, red shells, golden rings, and dead things shot from the destroyed containers. The reinforced cab soaked most of this damage because she was being extra careful not to spill the tanker.

The path forward was cleared away with witchcraft. The sparks flew onto the front of the vehicle's grill while the magnetic line descended from the sky. The airship above had been struggling to keep pace until the hazardous boxes had slowled the truck. Its container rumbled from the pull of the magnate locked onto its target with its invisible magic enabling the airship to slowly gain ground.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Jed swung out of the driver's seat fully armored. It was going to take a crack shot to disable that cable and save his ass. He aimed trying to get the perfect angle, but moving things never offered sure shots. He took too long on the first attempt with his hand beginning to shake so he pulled out the other one.

“Bang.”

His left hand aim was false. The remaining witches mocked him for it with intensified cackling as the magnetic cable psychically connected in the rear. The sparks showered the sides of the tracks while the airship was whisked through the air out of control due to the truck's momentum. The thrusters couldn't fully counteract the locomotion, but the front axles were pulled off the tracks.

The tanker bucked like a bull, and slammed back down like an Orca. The turbulence knocked the guns to the floor and his seat belt threatened to strangle Jed while avoiding throwing him out. The vehicle had been slowed like an anchor thrown off a boat. There were at least six witches remaining drawing close. one blew a fresh bubble and two gums burst midair.

“Bang, Bang, Bang.”

They weren’t laughing anymore with only three of the hags remaining. It was the boss witch Isabella, and the two cronies riding lower. She flew upwards while removing a checklist from her purse, checking off a mark, and gaining altitude encased within a massive pink protective bubble.

Meanwhile the tanker creaked to a complete stop. The engine,frame, and occupant cried as it was picked off the tracks into the air. The magma thrusters on the big towing airship marked “REPO” were working in overdrive to lift the big rig into empire control. The smaller drop ship had already started dropping in troops on lines to get boots on nearby ground.

Jed took cover behind the tint provided by the stained glass windows he had refashioned from a fancy building. The available options for escaping alive were running out. He could only quickly think of as much as his remaining bullets. It was time to decide to run, hide, or fight.

“Time to move in and secure the perimeter,” said one of the soldiers pointing at his squad.

“Yes sir,” they called, splitting into a spearhead formation.

The troops crept forward in sandy camouflage carrying silenced rifles. The lights of the drop ship lit up the big rig lifted high above them in addition to their strobe lights. The desert looked deserted as they passed a cactus on fire.

“Target spotted!” cried a soldier aiming.

“Twuk,whunk,whack.”

The silenced rifle connected with a body that jumped, and fell behind a ridge. The soldier extended a hand high into the air, and pointed to a massive rock formation.

“I saw something up there sir,” he confirmed.

“Hey Witches up there, we spotted something on that massive pile of rocks to your left. Can you go and check it out? over, and out,” said the voice over the crystal ball mounted to the broomstick.

“Hehehehe,” shrieked the 2nd in control witch on the crystal call who was admin.

“Creeeeeeeeak.”

She slowly opened the door to the big rig hauled through the air.

“Bang,Bang.”

“Pop!”

The witch’s crystal bubble gum blocked the shots. She began to involuntarily laugh at how much her opponent pathetically sucked. She continued chuckling in delight at the embarrassing performance and the bubble finally popped.

“Bang.”

The final shot sent her to the ground already long limp and dead before impact. The last crony witch looked around suspiciously on the other side of the vehicle and couldn’t see what was going on. She checked her crystal ball after seeing her sister being blown away.

“Drats,” she cried, shaking a fist to the sky.

The big rig’s door burst open smacking her in the ass. Jed jumped out and joined her aboard the broom in a jacking. She revved the flying object with bristles on the end and an accelerator that twisted upwards like an outboard motor on the handle. It zipped, zigged and zagged through the sky narrowly avoiding the drop ship.

Jed tried to hit her off but she ducked, knocking off her cap revealing a buzz cut. The broom was speeding back towards the smoldering wreckage of the ghost town. Jed heard the bubble beginning to form as her gums loudly smacked with a smirk showing pink. The incoming force-field was going to vaporize him if he didn’t act fast. At the last minute he saw the fresh package hanging from her purse and snatched a piece of it for himself. He chewed, and chewed the gum like there was no tomorrow. He might have quit dipping but his jaw was still extremely well trained. He began to blow as both of them blew out bubbles at the same time.

“POP!”