《Shards of Old》187. Names

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The next thing I know of was me being forcefully ejected from the memory, back to my own body.

-So… What do you think about this?

It was For.

All of us were sitting in a circle, in a clearing far enough away from the city.

After all, none of us were keen on staying there for any moment longer.

-Great question. I have no idea - I replied unenthusiastically.

-I can’t believe I forgot all of this… - said Il, sitting next to me.

After being ejected from the vision, we realized that we had absorbed an extensive amount of mana through the communion with the crystal.

For me, it was not a problem, nor did it change a thing, but it wasn’t the case for my other companions.

In For’s and Mor’s case it just meant that the crystal they had as a part of their body had expanded a bit. That did not change much for them, but it did concern them a little bit. Especially after seeing how Mike got taken over.

In Il’s case, it was more useful than anything.

Her wooden form changed from the blank, doll-like to almost human. She now had a face and her features were a bit more pronounced. If not for the color and overall texture of her body, you could mistake her for a regular person.

She was sitting next to me, but the two others were trying to keep their distance from her, be as far as possible and observe her.

I didn’t need to explain that to them, nor did I want to, but she was not the main problem we were going to have to deal with.

Besides, she herself was not sure about that either. The first thing she said was to keep an eye on her and do whatever we have to to protect ourselves.

But I knew better.

Her and ILMA were two different things.

Whenever I wanted or not, I had experienced both of them and could tell the difference. Be it mana or not, be it the manner of speaking or whatever you want, that was not it.

I just knew her.

-Do… Do you think she survived? - asked Kon, breaking the silence. - You know… she looked a bit…

-We probably should look for her… - agreed For, surprising me a bit.

-That is pointless - said Il.

-Right. We have no idea when that memory even happened. And it might have been a long time ago. Who knows when this…

-This city was alive not even a week ago or so - stated For.

-And how do you know?

-I… I can tell from the mana in here… It’s fresh.

-I mean… It’s…

I paused and looked up into the sky.

-I would love to. But I have no idea how to find her.

If we were still in the MIRE, or at least in a more developed country, then maybe… but here? We cannot track someone in the middle of the woods…

-The only clues we’d have had disappeared - I said. - Palace and the room? Gone. The crystal that showed us this? Gone.

-Well, not totally. Didn’t you… or rather, we, absorb it?

-Sure we did. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s gone and we can’t do shit with it.

-Yes… - nodded Il. - And I have no idea where I sent her… If that even was something I did…

-Come on, I am sure that… - I started, but stopped mid sentence.

She did not need words of comfort. Especially not from me.

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She was calmer than me and not like I was in a place to try after all that time.

-I am sorry to say that… but I still don’t know if I should trust you. It’s not like…

-For. Stop - I growled at her.

-Okay, I know that she is your friend, but look at her! Look at what she is! It’s not like you can…

-Can what? Predict what she’s going to do? - I barked at her. - No. I can’t. Nor can you predict what I am going to do. So what?

-That’s not…

-What, that’s she’s not human any more? What does that change? Look at yourself. Look at me. NONE OF US ARE HUMAN ANY MORE.

-I am aware. It’s not a matter of race or some shit. I am talking about the fact that whatever happened to Axelrod and that girl, was definitely connected to her. To your ILMA. So you can’t blame me for worrying that the same thing might happen to us!

-Worrying? - I scoffed at her. - Are you really forgetting what I told you already? That’s not “might”. It’s “will”.

-Yes, but I still would like to have control, not destroy…

-You had given up on that option the moment you took in the crystal. I am sorry, this process is not something you can undo. It’s only a thing that can either control you, or you can control it.

-And how the hell are you…

-I controlled it. She controlled it. And Mike failed. That’s all there is to it.

-Don’t talk like you know it’s over! - she replied. - How do you know?! You don’t know the future! You said it yourself, that was an experiment! And those things don’t just finish because it “seems like it” or something stupid like that!

-Sure they don’t. Then what, what do you want from me?!

-Sorry… but don’t you think the important thing is to figure out what he meant…?

The one who interrupted the arguing was Kon.

Funny that he, being the youngest one, was the most responsible and the most clear- headed of us all.

-Like what?

For was not hiding her irritation, but was responding to him in a much calmer manner than talking to me.

-The king… Axelrod, he gave you that shard, right? Why? And why now? It’s not like he didn’t have an opportunity to do that before.

-Right… - I agreed. - He was with us for a long while. I mean, at least Rob was, I am not sure that Mike was constantly aware of what was going on…

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

-Wasn’t he possessed…? - muttered For.

-And so was supposedly each of the Moi brothers, yet they still had their own personality and memories.

-Wasn’t that just acting?

-Now when you mention it.. didn’t you say that they sometimes acted… out of their character? - pointed out Kon. - Like a different person? Like they changed their mind suddenly…?

I stopped to think for a moment.

He was onto something.

There were multiple instances when I thought exactly that: that someone had changed suddenly, doing or saying something completely not fit for their character.

Did that mean… That I just was noticing the changes when Mike was swapping with them? Or at least taking over for a moment…?

But wouldn’t that mean that they’d eventually go back to being themselves? Or was he taking over permanently?

And if it was the first one, would they just accept it and not comment on that? Not ask anyone or seek help?

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No.

Not unless they thought of him as an ally. And they were already believing him before.

But even then, if that was not the case, he could just not give them control back. It’s not like I had a constant eye on him.

And apparently, he did have a constant eye on us. On me.

-It… It actually explains a lot… - mumbled For, agreeing with Kon and my own train of thought. - I did think that our “allies” or “prisoners” were really cooperative sometimes, and sometimes too annoying for their own good.

As she was saying that, she turned towards Il.

I already could tell what she was thinking, not even having to use my connection with her.

-She is not Mike. You have seen the vision, right? - I said, raising my non-existing brow at her.

-I am not stupid. I can tell that those two are different. But that’s the thing, they are not completely.

-The fuck do you mean?

She stared right at her.

Il returned the look with exhaustion in her eyes.

Could she even be exhausted? I guess mentally, sure…

-I’ve been looking at your mana. And I’ve seen that it is really, really similar to his.

-To Mike?

-To king, yes - she nodded. - But, it’s not the same. It’s like… he’s attached somewhere to you…

-Well, that does sound about right - I nodded.

-And what does THAT mean?

-You know about the copy. You know the copy took over Mike. That’s not very hard to deduce, right?

-Sure, but that doesn’t mean that they should… I mean, I know Axelrod. I’ve been in his presence multiple times. He didn’t have anything like that. He was also the same. I’ve never seen something like that on him.

-Doesn’t mean that he didn’t change. Nor does it mean that the one you’ve seen was the real one as well.

-What, you think he hid himself?! How?!

-Fuck if I know. But it’s more that I think he was just suppressing the other “part” of him so well that you weren’t able to tell.

-I am not that blind - she scoffed. - With the crystal, I can clearly tell.

-Right. “With the crystal” - I interrupted her. - And when was the last time you seen him while having that crystal?

-Wasn’t that supposed to be always? Or at least since the beginning of my ruling over the Red Edge? - she pointed out. - You said that thing was a part of him and…

-I know. But it’s not like you knew that. Neither like you tried to use it. Am I right?

-I… I guess…

She was clearly torn with mixed feelings.

-I can tell that you are really distrustful… and to be honest, I am as well.

It was Il.

She finally spoke up.

Honestly, I was surprised she did. I thought it was going to take her a lot longer to gather her thoughts and come to terms with what just happened.

-I know, there’s a lot of things that are weird right now… and I speak from my own experience… - she started. - To be honest, I am still baffled that all of you are taking it so well… especially you, Mor.

-I’ve been here for a while already and seen a lot of weird things… - I said, nodding.

-That’s not what I meant.

-Ah.

I gave her a questioning look.

Was she really saying what I thought…?

-So I won’t be trying to deny that: yes, I probably am a threat to you.

-That’s…!

-But - she didn’t let For finish her thought - not in a way you think.

She took a deep breath.

It was strange seeing that in her new form.

-I think the best would be for me to actually tell you my name. I am Iloa Pino… or rather just Vaganto now.

Just hearing those names made my head spin.

And it’s not like I didn’t know them, but for some reason, the moment I heard them, it was like someone started drilling a hole in my own head.

A bit unpleasant, to say the least.

-What does that mean, “just”? - asked Kon.

-Not much. It’s just that Pino is Michael’s name… or how you know him: Axelrod. As I used to be his wife…

-Used to? Aren’t you still?

-Ah, sorry… it’s not that I am not any more. It’s a bit different - she sighed. - But besides that, he remarried. I don’t think I should use his name any more… not like it makes a difference.

-But wait, weren’t you called ILMA before? What does that mean?

-No. I was always Iloa. The ILMA you speak of was just a copy of me. An intelligence. I think Mor already told you that.

-He did… but that… wait, so back then it was that THING?

-I told you, she’s not a thing… - I muttered, scratching my head, trying to not be distracted by the pulsing pain. - But to be honest, recently… I don’t know.

Il looked at me carefully.

-Is everything alright? - asked Kon. - You seem… out of it.

-I kinda am - I agreed. - And besides that, I seem to be having a headache.

For raised her brew.

-That's new. You can feel pain?

-I told you that I can multiple times. I am more human than you think.

-Can’t tell by your appearance, to be honest… - she mumbled.

-Whatever. Besides, that’s not about me right now. Please Il, continue.

She nodded.

-As you are aware, the person we just saw in the vision was my daughter. Ilma.

-I mean… I know you made this experiment, but…

-Oh, no - Interrupted her Il. - I mean, sure, yes. I do think of both of them that way, that I guess is right…

-Both.

-Right. Ilma. The human you saw. My daughter. Biological daughter. And what now is apparently running rampant: ILMA. The algorithm we created, based on… mostly me, but not only.

-Damn…

-Yeah, the naming is not the best, I agree… - she smiled. - But what can I say, the father didn’t have a head to naming things.

-Hah. I can tell. Axelrod, Ilon, Il… - chuckled For. - Seems like it.

-Yeah… speaking of… I probably should change it…

-Change…?

Il smiled sadly and turned to me.

-Mor. Do you trust those two? - she asked.

-Of course. You know that already, they have a piece of…

-Of crystal. I know. But I still wanted to hear that from you.

-Why…?

-Just an assurance. Well then. I mentioned changing my name, right?

-Ah… right…? - asked For, a bit confused.

-I actually have a third name, you know.

-Third?

-Yes.

-What the hell, why? Aren’t you supposed to be the original person? Mor, are you sure that it’s not the “experiment” talking here? - asked For, worried. - Why would you have three? I understand two, but…

-Let me explain - she replied calmly.

-...?

-My first one. Given name. Iloa Vaganto.

For nodded.

At the same time, the pain that I thought was already giving up, intensified again.

-The second one: Iloa Pine, after Michael.

A pulsing pain again.

-Yeah, you said that. And what about the third? - asked Kon.

-Iloa Griza. After Ilma’s father.

-Wait FATHER? So not Axelrod?!

The pain pulsed once more and just as she replied, it finally stopped.

-Yeah. After the man you see here. Mor Griza.

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