As each step brought Lorelei closer to the Twelve Healing Saints’ chapel, her gate became slower and shakier. Was she doing the right thing? After all, that woman had spat straight in her face. Bishop Petronius was right, if she had been infected, she could doom Noah.

Lorelei halted and pressed her back against the cool wall, wishing that the sturdy stone could give her the steadfastness she needed at the moment. To push on. To heal. To survive. Although, what she truly craved was a hug. For someone to pat her head and tell her that all this was just an illusion. Lie to her that all the deaths she couldn’t prevent were a nefarious dream. But it was all wishful thinking, and reality showed no such mercy. She was a drowning man, looking for the thinnest straw to hold onto. A leaf, swept by the current, its fate - to rot away in the tide’s embrace.

What if she really was just a few hours away from facing a grueling death? Or worse - causing harm to him!

“Still… can’t I... just once more..,” she whispered into the empty hallway and choked.

It was selfish and she knew it. If worse came to worse, she could destroy the future of Norden with a single touch. She needed to think about Noah, about all the people depending on him. The right thing to do was to return to her room in the women’s wing and await her fate just like Neli did. The well-being of the many preceded the needs of the individual. But… why was it always her needs?

“It isn’t fair!” she squeezed through her teeth and her eyes burned. She was both angry and disgusted with herself. “I just want… to see him one final time!”

‘Love is the most fatal sickness of all.’ Master Levi’s soft words came back to her mind. ‘It tears your heart and saps away your rationality. Yet again, in a rational world, there is no place for hope and miracles.’

Swallowing her tears, Lorelei exhaled slowly. Just one look. She could be allowed a single moment, right? A final goodbye? She had washed and changed her veil and gloves. If she kept her distance and had no physical contact with Noah, he was going to be safe. Just one final look and a couple of words, and she was ready to accept her fate, whatever it was.

As the fight between reason, fear, and desire raged in her chest, Lorelei slowly walked to the chapel. Before the simple, narrow door, she saw Lucas standing guard, his youthful face strained and clouded by worry. She greeted the young knight with a nod and he hurried to bow and make way for her to enter. Contrary to her expectations, the door swung silently on its well-maintained hinges, granting her entrance into the chapel’s impeccable white interior.

The white marble walls carried reliefs depicting the wondrous deeds of the Twelve Healing Saints - Saint Teodoro with hands full of medical potions; Saint Lucia curing the blind and deaf; Saint Omotrea regrowing a severed limb; Saint Mina healing the lepers.... From plagues to gnarly wounds, from poisons to legendary curses, the incredible achievements of all those ancient men and women were hewn into the cold stone. As she walked under their condemning, unblinking gazes, Lorelei felt small and insignificant. They knew of her failure and wrongdoing.

A tearing sound echoed under the curved beams of the ceiling, taking Lorelei away from her dark thoughts. Her eyes followed the noise to the front of the chapel where the large statue of Saint Ursule, her marble hair and clothes caught by an invisible wind as she resurrected the dead, reigned over the rows of prayer cushions surrounding the dias with the offerings to the saints.

With the whiteness of the marble floor and walls as a background, the dark figure of Noah was like a tear in the fabric of the universe. And just as out-of-place as he seemed in this holy sanctuary, his actions too had nothing to do with the spirit of prayer and peaceful meditation. Straps and pieces of destroyed linen sheets covered the floor around him as he sat cross-legged on a prayer cushion with a dagger in one hand and some fabric in the other.

“Good morning, my lady!” He greeted her without lifting his head. The moment his deep voice graced her ears, the heavy load in Lorelei’s chest seemed to lessen. “I didn’t dare hope that you’d find time to visit me.”

“How…?” Lorelei blinked and tilted her head in short contemplation. “It was my gait that betrayed me, wasn’t it?”

“Indeed.” Noah finally lifted his face and gave her a tired but warm smile. “I’m proud to say that I’m able to discern your steps with almost absolute certainty. What brings you here? Not that I complain about your company. The only things I’m allowed to do is go to my cell to sleep and come here to pray. I’m missing only the shackles and I’ll be the perfect prisoner.”

“We are all trying to assure your safety,” said Lorelei but immediately stiffened as the stinger of guilt pierced her mercilessly. She kneeled two cushions away from him and tried to control her breathing. “I thought you were supposed to be praying.”

“One’s devotion to the Gods can be shown in more than one way.” Noah sliced the piece of linen into two thinner stripes. “There is a Marzbani saying: ‘Jin dur-kamkalar naider hak, koshker lenkar yok.’ It means roughly ‘The djinn will help you find the lost camel, but they will not herd it in your stead.’”

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

He waved his dagger pointing at the surrounding reliefs.

“Before I wait for a miracle from our dear long-departed saints, I’d better prepare some bandages for the spire-fall victims.”

“You think it’s a good idea to utter blasphemy in the earthly home of the Gods?!” Lorelei was in awe of his brazen remark, but, at the same time, couldn’t refute him.

“If this was truly the home of the Gods, they wouldn’t have allowed such things to happen!” Noah raised his voice and his eyes burned. “The ancient times when gods and saints walked this earth are long past. None of them cares what happens to us anymore!”

Throwing his dagger on the ground, he began rolling the freshly-cut bandages. A small vein popped on his clenched jaw and his brows drew together. After a few minutes of silence, he cursed inaudibly and drew a hand through his hair.

“Forgive me.” His voice carried an untypical melancholic note. No, it was desperation rather than melancholy. “To tell you the truth, right now, I… I envy you.”

“W-what?” His words left Lorelei’s mind completely blank.

“At least you can do something. Help others.” Noah rested his arms on his knees and his back hunched down like an immense pressure was trying to crush him. “All I know how to do is kill. And we have plenty of corpses already. I can't ease my people’s pain or fear. All I can do is uselessly cower in a shrine while pest and disaster rob the lives I swore to protect.”

He laughed quietly.

“I can’t order broken bones to heal. I can’t create a law to banish a disease. I can’t command an army to force death to retreat. I have neither the necessary knowledge nor the magic power to change anything. So all I can do is hide here and play with old sheets while you, Neli, Duncan, Rasha, Lucas, and everyone else is fighting for survival. I failed everyone. I’m pathetic.”

Loreli just sat there, her body slightly trembling. She wanted to console him, but when she opened her mouth, what came out was the darkness gnawing on her own soul.

“Yes. You are pathetic.” She felt his gaze piercing her. “You sit here and cry how helpless you are while at the same time, you go beyond what any normal lord would do to help some dirty peasants. You want praise? You want someone to tell you that it’s enough? A few bandages won't make a change. Whatever you do, people will die. But you still would know, deep down, even if you don’t acknowledge it at the moment, that there was nothing more you could do. Because no one expected even this much from you! I don’t have such luxury!”

“L-Lorelei!?” Taken aback, Noah tried to say something, but she cut him off.

“I am a physician. My job, my vocation is to keep death at bay. And to top it all, my body could be a host to a damn saint. But I can neither find a cure using my knowledge nor have I the strength to snap my fingers and summon some godly powers. I can just watch as all my attempts fail. Again. And again. And again! I can only observe as the light in someone’s eyes goes out, knowing that their salvation was on the tip of my fingers. Would have they lived if I had used different herbs? If I had started the treatment earlier? If I had recognized the symptoms sooner? If I had confessed to Bishop Petronius what I am?”

Wrapping her arms around her body, Lorelei could no longer stop the flow of the words as tears washed down her face.

“Who is the true failure between us, Your Highness? You, who has found a way to help despite lacking the knowledge and resources? Or is it I, the incompetent coward who hid her identity out of selfishness? Even now, all I do is indulge in my selfishness. I’m here, despite knowing the danger. Despite knowing my crime and my failure!”

“What are you talking about?” Noah motioned to stand up. This prompted Lorelei to scramble to her feet and back away.

“Do not approach!” Her scream forced him to halt. “I’ve done something selfish and foolish already. I don’t want to have your death on my conscience in my last remaining days.”

“You…” Noah sucked a sharp breath. “No! Tell me it isn’t true! Tell me you didn’t get infected!”

“We’ll see… in about seven days.” Her voice almost betrayed her, but she managed to continue somehow. “You should still be fine despite me being here. I never touched you.”

Turning her back on Noah, Lorelei tried to walk away, but her legs were shaking too much. She took a couple of wobbly steps before her knees gave out and she plopped on the floor a sobbing mess.

No! She had to get out of there. The longer she stayed, the greater the danger for Noah was. One wrong action and…

Two familiar warm arms wrapped around her shoulders.

“W-what are you doing!?” She screamed but didn’t dare struggle. If her movements tore her veil or exposed her bare skin in any way, a single touch would be a death sentence to him!

“I thought you said the Blood Plague was contagious only through direct skin contact.” His voice reached her unusually muffled, prompting Lorelei to look back.

What entered her vision was more of a ragdoll than a man. Noah had hastily wrapped himself in one of the linen sheets and another one covered his head and face, making him look like the drawing of the desert Marzbanaty she had seen in Master Levi’s books. Her gaze traveled to his hands which were currently holding her in a tight embrace. Blessed Saints! He had been smart enough to even wrap them in pieces of cloth, creating rather ugly but functional gloves.

“See,” he whispered gently, “I am perfectly safe.”

“You are a crazy fool!” She laughed and sobbed, unable to stop herself.

“We both are, I suppose.” He tried to act calm, but she clearly could hear the tension in his voice. “Anything else you want to say?”

“I… am scared.”

“Me too.” His arms wrapped tighter around her. “But we’ll overcome this together.”