Chapter Thirty.

There are times in life where everything seems to slow down. The universe takes a collective breath and you find yourself paused in that tiny space between moments. It stretches on longer than should be possible, and yet you know it’ll be over before you can blink. Questions and observations about the world around you float suspended in time, things like, “What am I doing with my life?” or “how did I get here?” or the ever-poignant “Man that floor sure is coming up fast—”

Wham. Moment over.

Groaning heavily, I stared down at the improvised mat of the ‘sparring’ room with the uncomfortable familiarity of someone who’s spent the morning getting their face slammed into it. Cade has been absolutely tearing me apart today, and it’s at least a little bit my fault.

The situation with the villagers is still unresolved. How do you deal with a thousands-strong group of people absolutely determined to worship you and interpret your every action as divine? How am I supposed to deal with their combined generations of cultural trauma— the unnerving mixture of fear and hope I see every time I lock eyes with one of them? Nezzick may have decided that the villager’s souls being taken in by my own was a good thing, but is it? What if I’m denying these people a chance at an actual next life? Is this going to make me become known as some kind of soul-stealing monster? There are just too many questions I don’t have the answers to, and the only option right now is to just muddle forward and hope for the best.

And if that isn’t enough to drive me crazy, the itching will.

“Hrmm.”

Cade expressed his disapproval for my distracted state. Translating in my head came out roughly to, ‘I’m not angry, just disappointed you aren’t giving this your full attention.’

Sighing heavily, I stood back up with a grimace and shook out the lingering stiffness from getting tossed— again.

I thought this whole ‘Path’ thing was supposed to make me tougher to fight, how can this guy keep throwing me around like a ragdoll?

“Sorry, Cade. Just been a rough few days.” I murmured, frowning at the general unfairness of life as I realized he hadn’t even broken a sweat all morning.

“Mm.” He grunted. Raising one hand, he began to count off points on his fingers.

“Distracted. Slow. Hesitant.”

Rubbing at his short beard absently, he gathered himself up to make a speech.

“The battlefield does not care if you are distracted. Enemies will not hold their blows because you have trouble off the battlefield; if anything, they will use your distractions to their advantage. When your life is on the line, you must be focused— because your opponents will not give you the courtesy of time to gather yourself.”

Cade took a martial stance, spreading his feet apart and raising his hands slowly. A sense of pressure and scale billowed out through the room, rising with ponderous inevitability like a mountain standing up. He held that stance for a moment before lashing out in a kata that blurred his figure from the sheer speed of his movements— the mountain no longer rising, but falling in an avalanche of unstoppable power. I could feel the air split in front of every strike, like an impossible weight of stone was hurtling past instead of just fists.

“When you fight, you leave behind everything. You cannot allow yourself the luxury of hesitation.”

His already blurring figure sped up even more, and I felt my jaw dropping.

I can’t keep up. He’s always beaten me through pure technique before, but this… even with all my advantages, Cade is faster than I am. If this was a fight and not a demonstration, I would get obliterated.

“Choose your actions. Choose your path.”

He stepped forwards, each time his feet hit the ground resounding through the chamber with a dull crash like stones striking the earth.

“Commit.”

The power that had been gathering around him roared forth as he brought his arm around in a single overhead blow that sent a shockwave of air blasting away from him. The shockwave slammed into the room’s wall with force that set the enchanted steel ringing like a bell, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if he’d been standing just a little bit closer he would have put his fist straight through it.

“The mind can be your greatest strength, or your greatest weakness, in combat. The most important thing is to learn how to use it.”

I couldn't help but stare open-mouthed at him in shock, glancing back and forth between Cade and the still-ringing wall. Any comments I might have made were cut off though by a disdainful huff from the bay entrance. Moment officially ruined, I shot an equally disdainful look at our self-appointed 'chaperone'.

Sera— overall annoying person and I still suspect as an oracle— had invited herself to my training sessions in some kind of supervisory role. The only thing she actually contributed was snide commentary and the occasional huff like just now. Given the absurd strength I'd just seen on display though, I couldn't imagine what she was actually trying to accomplish by being here. Cade sure as hell didn't need the protection. My irritation ultimately got the better of me and I snapped at her.

"Ok, what the hell is your problem? In case you forgot; you invited yourself here. If you've got nothing better to do, you can always leave."

Incensed, her eyes flared angrily and she stormed towards me.

"My problem?? My problem is that I seem to be the only one taking protocol seriously." She said with a venomous look towards Cade. "And my problem is that we're sitting here training you instead of taking you down like the gods-damned monster you are!"

"Sera—" Cade tried to interject, but she shouted right over him.

"No! I have kept my peace for long enough! I refuse to accept another moment of this farce. We are meant to be the defenders against the dark, instead we are working with this creature. You saw what it did in Delmoth, and Fate remains obstructed in its presence. No good may be had from associating with a being that hides itself from the goddess's eyes."

"So you are an Oracle."

It was all I could manage to say. The effort it took to clamp down on my rioting emotions in that moment was one of the most difficult things I’d done since being reborn. I didn't know if I wanted to strangle her, flinch back from the all-too-familiar label of monster or… even do anything at all. Because despite the fact that Sera clearly worked for my second least favorite entity on Haven— there wasn’t that kind of recognition in her eyes. She wasn't screeching about me being an abomination or even acting like she knew about the deal between me and the Spider at all. The only thing she knew about was Delmoth, and the fallout of Leigh and I’s horrible plan to help Joan.

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Wait, an oracle from Delmoth followed me on the ship?

In an instant, Cade was standing between the two of us. His looming presence radiated calm authority, buying me time to think while he turned to the fuming oracle.

“Sera, you have overstepped. Dismissed.”

“But he’s—” she objected, but Cade’s voice cut her off with a tone like steel.

“I am aware, and unlike you I am able to recall the entirety of our stated mission— not just the parts convenient to my current agenda. I suggest you take this time to reflect on the meaning of our creed at whole instead of twisting it to justify your prejudices. I thought better of you, Sera. Dismissed.”

At no point did he sound angry, but the oracle nonetheless wilted under the weight of Cade’s disappointment; flinching back from his final words like a slap before nodding numbly.

“Yes sir.” She mumbled, and fled.

My thoughts whirled frantically while the older man sighed and turned back to me.

“Hmm. Once again, I apologize on her behalf.” He said with a slight bow. “The Oraculum's scheming has left many victims adrift in the wake of their 'greater good'. Though… I'm sure I don't have to tell you, outworlder."

The knowing look he gave me sent chill needles down my spine as everything crystallized.

"Your name isn't Cade… is it? It's Cale. You're Lord Hakkon."

Rubbing his neck with slight embarrassment, the older man grumbled an affirmative that dropped the bottom out of my stomach.

"But… why? How?? Why pretend to be passengers? Get close to me? Train me? I— I don't…"

"You said you weren't a monster." He shrugged. "Unless I made you one. Wanted to see if it was true."

Um… what???

Cade— Cale chuckled at my confusion.

"Wasn't hard to figure out where you were going after the fight. The receptionists at the Caravan Master's Guild had quite a bit to say about Leigh Corman—and a folder nearly thick as my wrist of 'incident' reports. Were actually less helpful when I told them he wasn't being arrested. When we found out where you were going, we booked passage on the same caravan. It’s been… nice, to travel unannounced for once.”

I am going to strangle that ‘priest’ if it’s the last thing I do.

“Speaking of… I paid for all the damages— even the roof you broke. And had the two men I sent to collect you stay behind and apologize to Miss Joan for their behavior. Unbecoming of a marshal to act as they did.”

My back thumped into the wall and I slid bonelessly down to the floor in overwhelmed shock.

“I don’t understand, you’re helping me? I thought… I thought you guys thought I was a monster.”

Cale lowered himself down cross-legged in front of me and chewed his lip in thought. This was the most I’d ever heard him speak in one sitting, and while he didn’t seem uncomfortable it clearly wasn’t his element. In another person his odd mannerisms would have come off as slow or stilting, but Cale was more… thoughtful, measured. His words had weight, so he was careful with them— which made more sense, now that I knew who he was. Eventually he found the words he wanted to speak.

"I have been all over this world. Delved down below the undersea. Even been to an Eldborn Enclave. Met creatures I struggle to describe. Fought darkest horrors in shapes fair and beautiful, and shared drinks with beings that would send most screaming in terror from just a look. In my experience, monsters are defined by their actions, not appearances."

I chuckled mirthlessly.

“Even by that definition, I still qualify."

"Disagree. Got a good measure of you during our fight and even more since then. You've made plenty of mistakes, but I've met real monsters. You're no Tyrant."

"How can you be so sure? You barely know me. You don't know what I've—"

Cale grunted at me, an irritated sound that preceded a surprisingly powerful flick to my forehead which completely derailed my train of thought.

“Stop that. Doesn’t help.”

I rubbed at my forehead idly, surprised at how much it hurt despite my supposed ‘enhancements’. The older man sighed again, running a hand through his and looking sadly at me.

“Might not know you, but I know of you. Met the others during the summoning, half the world away. They all think you died— it was a big scandal at the time. Spoke to some before the training started and we got sent to hunt… well, pretty sure now we were hunting you, before the Oraculum called everything off. But I would have left regardless. Truth is, I never approved of fategrafting— the gods’ practice of summoning young outworlders to fight for us. It is… distasteful, to steal a child from the beyond and turn them into a weapon with no agency. Always thought it was manipulative and cowardly, the way your kind were treated. Tools to be used against the consequences of our own failures. Promised myself that, if the time ever came where one of you were lucky enough to break free, I would help as I could.”

My thoughts were roiling wildly as I tried to process everything Cale had just casually dropped on me.

He knows the others? People who knew me before?

Anxiously, my mind drifted over to the blank fog of my past, fruitlessly examining the scattered fragments of memory for a name, a face, something. But other than the usual dry facts of my existence, there was nothing to find.

Dispirited, I skipped past most of what I wanted and asked the only other question on my mind.

“Why tell me all this now?”

Cale arched an eyebrow and smiled wryly.

“Other than Seraphine’s outburst? The time for careful observation has ended, and the caravan’s situation has become dire. The normal daily attacks are a fact of the wilds, and the crew is more than equipped to handle them. But the horde? The presence now marshalling from Champion's Folly? I will not sit idly while people are slaughtered. It is to my regret that we were not ready to help more in the last attack."

I nodded in understanding. It would be a relief to have somebody with Cale’s level of experience on board to help us fight, even if I couldn’t help a nagging suspicion that even he wouldn’t be enough.

“I’ve already spoken to the captain. Whatever comes, my men and I will stand in defense of this caravan.” He finished resolutely.

Something seemed to drain out of him at that, the effort of speaking so much in one sitting building up a visible level of discomfort in the normally quiet man. I still had plenty of questions burning away in my gut, but as the silence stretched on it was harder and harder to open my mouth and ask them. It didn’t help that I was still reeling from everything that I just learned. There was just… a lot, and my emotional dial had spun all the way past the crazy feelings and straight to a weird, turbulent numbness. I’m sure I would have some kind of breakdown in the near future, but for now I would try to just keep a lid on things.

Just have to keep it together until we make it to Terland.

A harsh rap sounded on the wall, and I looked up to see Grafton’s brutish figure filling up the entryway.

“Pardon sir,” He said, addressing Cale before turning to me with a barely-disguised grimace. “Baines, pack it up. Captain has a plan and unfortunately we need you for it.”

I glanced at Cale, who waved me off with a ‘Hrhm’ of polite dismissal before getting to my feet and following Grafton out of the room.

“Grab what you need from your quarters and meet me back in the Skip bay. We’ll be gone for at least a day and half of that will be walking.” He said brusquely as he tromped down the corridor.

“Where are we going?” I asked, curiously.

The brutish man shrugged, the movement sending his massive shoulders rippling.

“Some shithole, wardless town just this side of the Terland border. Captain figure’s they’re close enough to Terland they might have some parts we can trade for to patch up our cores— or at least jimmy the damn things in shape enough so we can move.” His face took on a sour look like he’d just quaffed a shot of pure lemon juice. “Place is out of range for the skips, so we’ll have to fly most of the way and take the last stretch on foot. Ordinarily that’d be too risky, but the captain figures with you around to play guard dog we might have a chance.”

I blinked slowly at him while my brain processed this new information.

“Why mister Grafton, are you saying that you’ll be depending on me to protect you from all the scary monsters?”

He gave me a look that would curdle milk while I just smiled blissfully.

“Unfortunately, we all will be depending on you for this, since if you screw this up there’s a good chance everyone in the caravan dies.” He snarled out.

Ah. Yeah, no pressure.

“Get going. Sooner we get our asses to this ‘White Ford’ place, the better.”