《Knights, Nobles, and Cannibals》Moonglazier
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The atmosphere directly above Tenare boomed like a subwoofer the size of a skyscraper. The last large chunk of a formally intact moon fell underneath the red horizon. It had actually been an Elemental space station in disguise. A giant turtle smashed through space rings and dodged explosions gunning into the galaxy. Something tiny was carried on its back that stuck on even through corkscrews, dives, and flips. The rules of nature didn’t seem to apply to a strange creature like this.
“Pew, Pew, Pew,” came the heat vaporizing asteroids into nothing. .In hot pursuit propelled a satellite composed of various elements. It had been charging a payload. Now it fired the laser in a three round burst again frying the air. The fusion of Elemental all that remained from their destroyed hive camouflaged in the sky. The apocalypse had arrived in style with a light show that resembled many a rave Edward had attended to have sex. His cut off head breathed inside a bubble while his tendrils were tied to his captor.
“Bzzza DAMN HOW DID YOU DESTROY A MOON?” screamed Edward at the top of his lungs, which now meant an electric voice box turned to maximum volume.
Suddenly he stuttered as it corrupted, overloading him into a fit of sparks contained inside his air bubble. Mule turned turtle sticking his head out the shell slightly and winked.
“Bro I can’t hear you scream in space.. HEY try communicating again like this,” he telepathically sent to his captive head.
Edward stopped for a second to think about what could be his next actions. He wanted out of here ASAP. He realized he couldn’t survive in the vacuum of space by himself. He considered stubbornly not taking part in the games as a form of sabotage. That and playing sick he concluded would do him no favors either. Instead he focused on something else.
The full force of all his mental capacities began reliving a former life spent inflicting death, trauma, and punishment for not paying taxes on others. Nasty gory crap on top of conjured images of transferring his pain to others. Hopefully soon the flat plane of Tenare will be completely destroyed below them for a fresh start where people couldn’t ruin anything ever again.
Edward still had his beautifully twisted mind. As long as he had that he could imagine a way out. For now he mentally escaped via fantasizing about how eventually he could level up himself into a giant mutant dripping slime, rising out of the polluted sea and ripping apart everything with his crystal cutting teeth. His third arm smacked away a pedestrian on the swing to annihilate everything.The buildings of the capital burned while he burped after dumping a city bus down his gullet. He rampaged across the peninsula consuming an entire college campus’s innocence in the process.
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“Very swell imagination you got there Eddy. Can I call you that? I’m Mule again if you've forgotten” interjected his captor in monotone.
Edward's mind was then taken over with hiss of static until the sound of screeching jazz took control. Next the black and white image of a teleprompter invaded. His mind had shifted from an inner sanctuary into another avenue to be controlled. He reccolled while forced to imagine an office environment with a scrolling project. The fancy lounge outside the open door was empty except for a mopping janitor. The screen showed sappy slide images of a date nights the creature had planned for them together.
What actions would the thing demand next after that? He was supposed to be the man..The head in the bubble sputtered into rebelion beaming back telepathic warfare going through a montage set to botched yacht rock performances given out of nepotism at age 14. The band persisted despite a few lineup changes. There were enough siblings to survive their initial cringe factor of something old ladies found adorable into angsty violators of public decency. They toughened up and he eventually had them performing disguised undercover in the ruffest biker bars, sunset strips, and ripped leather clubs. The music sampled in past tortures performed on enemies, and the sweet ends of love affairs that he had harvested just before they turned sour.
“You're a mean one Mr. Teddy bear. A real slayer of weaklings, and taker of virgins but only able to do it all because you're such a dullard behind the mask”. Scolded captor creature not impressed with what it had learned so far on the psychological adventure.
“You will either address me as King or Emperor, or not at all, at the very least as equally sided equals” huffed Edward, already mentally exhausted by this new fangled form of communication.
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Perhaps there was a way to level it up.. His opponent was much more advanced in the skill.
“The planet down there doesn’t have a convenient but extremely fortified self-destruct button to press like the one I just did,” calmly refuted Mule, holding his host’s imagination hostage with a presentation of slides even an infant could decipher. .
“PEW,PEW,PEW!”
A three round burst of laser fired after them. It had been shot out from the fully charged only surviving pursuing Elemental construction. Mule swerved behind cover of a chunk of the now destroyed moon the Elementals had used as HQ. The first two shots flew past while the third tore right through the asteroid to the other side. The turtle trying to hide took a blast to the back of the shell, splintering apart the shell exposing smoking flesh. He had already been missing a tail, and was now in danger of being vaporized with a direct hit.
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“I fought through a million waves of enemies on my way to hitting the self button back there while you were rolling around being useless” beamed Mule.
“Yeah well you try being reduced to a nothing man, a mutant head..” stated Edward.
“You need to stop moping around and concentrate on leveling up after I ditch this space laser” responded Mule.
Edward spat into his bubble turning red; he was so concentrated on mental warfare. He gave everything he had remaining to launch a psychic attack. Using his memories into composing the loudest distorted noise music on the planet.
Mule frowned at the distortion, pulling his head back into the shell that blocked Edward from further communication. The creature disappeared into thin air as a shot flew where it had just been. Edwad hissed like a cat punished with a squirt of water. He fell until Mule reapered and caught him back in turtle mode.
“That’s better,” said the head to himself.
But now he had to figure out a way off this ride.
“Zap!”
The laser beam flew so close it practically fried him without actually making physical contact.
“Pop!”
The air bubble housing Edward had been broken. He tumbled away drifting into space. He was trying to scream, but his voice no longer worked. Mule continued shooting through the stars while the space laser followed charging up another shot.
“Survive 8 more explosions for reward,” a robotic voice installed onboard Edward announced while the rest of him suffocated.
As his vision faded he focused his remaining energies on beaming a panicked telepathically transmitted S.O.S back to the turtle. But he was flying a million miles an hour away, already a speck amongst the stars.
Edward stared down at his impending doom while a massive chunk of moon fell towards the planet below. He was probably finally going to die, but it would be with a big bang like he always wanted. Too bad the entire universe couldn’t be destroyed. Farc it all if he couldn’t fuck it, but now he was dickless. Perhaps there was a leveling quest to regrant that. It was too bad that the paths had no system to easily follow like how he used to work out his muscles in the gym. Instead he was going at it completely blind of the options at hand to maybe regrow his hands.
The satellite fried nearby atoms as it charged itself for the kill shot on floating head.
“BOOM!”
An alien hovercraft had been retrieved from another universe and used as a boomerang. The laser blew too close to home destroying the satellite in the process.
“Ooof!” Edward found himself picked up by Mule flying back through on a bombing run. A gentle outstretched tendrils housed the head in a fresh bubble made from saliva straight from the strange creature's beak.
He had many strange feelings about this relationship but he had been saved like a damsel in distress. This strange creature's powers could help him conquer the entire universe and easily power level out of his current cockless predicament. The problem was that he was insecure about being the subservient and less endowed partner. Nope he would gamble on gaining some quick level ups in this setup and then bail when he was in good enough form to ultimately be in control again.
“We need to get back to solid ground before my magic wears off and my body implodes into space dust but I can’t survive descending through the atmosphere You are going to have to fend for yourself a long while I recover from using up my energy,” wheezed the being who had somehow shifted into a one armed astronaut.
Mule's front helmet constructed of tinted glass slowly cracked apart while the fabric of his spacesuit frayed. Edward and his bubble were kicked from foot to foot juggled around like a football. Next Mule materialized a motherboard housing a large farc crystal.
"Oh spaceman I never thought I would be so glad to go on a trip to the brutal core, anything but the slow suffocation of delicate space," telepathically whined Edward
He flipped a switch and the device sparked to life engulfing them inside a portal, and out of their current environment.
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