《A Knight's Lilies》Act 6 Chapter 31: The Pain of The Shadow

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“According to Kevin J. Higgs, senior liaison between the Chamber of Justice and the Adventurer’s Guild, “The situation had devolved into a stalemate with no clear course of action.” He told the Affairs this morning, “The chamber is locked between its unwillingness to cripple the war effort by launching a full scale investigation and prosecution of the trading house, and the rising public sentiment that something needs to be done.” A public sentiment that our reporters find is echoed by ongoing protests in the Port, South and Eastern districts. Alongside growing discontent in nearby villages as well that might or might not be falsely assuming that their missing members have potentially ended up abducted by the trading house.”

- Arterian Affairs, Headline Article, “Exclusive Look into the Chamber”

Sophie’s head drooped and she quickly righted herself. Alodie was already in the other bed lazily snoozing away. Sophie pinched her cheek to stay awake and yawned. Her eyes hovered over to a nearby clock to watch as the minute hand ticked past midnight. She strained her ears to listen for any strange noises outside, still nothing.

It had already been two and a half hours since the inquisitor had come and gone. There was still no sign of him, which meant something had definitely gone wrong. Even walking to Laurusport and back shouldn’t take more than an hour. So either one of them’s crippled, or they were unwilling or unable to arrive earlier. But why?

Sophie picked herself off the chair and sauntered onto her bed. The temple accommodations were alright, if a bit sparse and utilitarian. Though she supposed that they never intended to turn a spare prayer room into a bedroom. But being ordered to remain here while they healed did limit the amount of energy they had. At least the roof has windows. Ugh, if we couldn’t even see the sun or stars, I might actually go mad in here.

Curling up, she was just about to give in to her tiredness when she sprang back up, her ears practically reaching for the sky. Outside, she could hear mumuring, but more than that, armored boots. Templars or inquisitors. There’s a hallway further south that people usually take, more convenient. So special arrivals, maybe. Destination…

A small knock on the door made her eyes shoot towards it. Aware that Alodie was already sleeping, she tried to keep her voice down.

“Who is it?” She hissed, hoping that it was loud enough.

There was a moment of quiet before another series of knocks.

“Who is it?” She spoke a bit louder.

“Lady Kastiane, we are here.” The older voice of Inquisitor Alaran answered.

Sophie could feel herself sit up straighter and grow more alert. Whatever the hells may bring… She steeled her soul and nodded to herself. She moved to Alodie’s side and shook the girl awake. The girl’s groggy unfocused eyes half resisted for a few moments before they opened wide.

“Ah!” Alodie gasped.

“They’re here.” Sophie whispered, pointing to the door.

“Gah?” Alodie managed to sit up, her hair a mess.

Sophie shuffled herself towards the main table in the room, taking a seat and waiting.

“Come in.” She tried to sound calm, hiding the slight jittering hands under the table.

Alodie tried to look more presentable when another series of hushed whisperings happened outside. As usual, the sight of the temple guard pulling open the door was the first thing they saw. Next to him, the senior inquisitor entered first, his unhurried expression hiding the speed at which he checked the immediate entryway for traps. He then ushered the others in, with the Blademaster remaining in the hallway, offering Sophie a solemn nod. Oh stars, that’s not good.

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Between them, Eva walked in first, her eyes brightening for but a second as she caught Sophie’s gaze, dimming immediately afterwards. Uh oh. Then came Sophia, walking side by side with Eva, but this wasn’t normal. Her counterpart was hunched over, trying to make herself as small as possible. Her steps were measured and calculated, her whole demeanor more skittish than Sophie ever remembered. Between the two arrivals, tension was high. Sophie could feel the atmosphere of the room grow heavier by their presence alone.

But her attention was caught on the senior inquisitor who looked at her with an almost remorseful expression on his face.

“Sir?” She queried.

“Lady Kastiane, please take good care of your comrades. I fear things within the city have spiralled out of control. As for myself, Lord Taurox, and Inquisitor Cross, Lord Janus has requested our presence. I doubt he is overjoyed that we worked behind his back. Lady Rosengart.” He turned to Eva, who only half acknowledged her own name, “You best report in after you’re finished. And prepare yourself. For I don’t know how much we would be allowed to cooperate outside your program considering the… unexpected events yesterday. We’ll see what we can do in the meantime.”

“What do you mean?! I just…” Eva spoke up only to freeze.

Sophie noticed how her entire expression seemed to drop upon seeing Sophia. Something happened. Then, instead of arguing, protesting, or making a fuss as she always did, Eva simply let her shoulders slump and solemnly nodded, her eyes holding a forlorn gaze. Okay, something definitely happened.

“Sophia… Eva…” She whispered.

“Lady Kastiane, is there anything else you require of us?” Inquisitor Alaran faced her.

“Umm, not that I can think of. But… did we at least get what we needed?” She hesitantly broached the question, taking great care to notice the flinching from the newly arrived duo. Oh no.

“Not everything, but enough for us to get a good head start should we need to.”

“Thank you for the help, Inquisitor.”

“And for your cooperation, and the rest of you as well. Blessed by the stars.”

“Blessed by the stars.” Came the reply.

With a firm clap on her shoulder, the Inquisitor’s features softened for a moment, the hardened old man looking more like a grandfatherly figure.

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask the temple staff for help.” He whispered as he turned away.

Giving the other two little nods of respect, he left the room and joined Taurox outside. The minotaur held his arm over his chest in a military acknowledgement, Sophie returning it. A few words were traded outside and the temple guardsmen shut the door to the room once more.

That left the four of them. Alodie shuffled a little on her bed but mostly tried to stay out of the way. Eva and Sophia both held expressions of pain and sorrow, neither of which Sophie was confident in confronting. Yet, she had too, for neither of them certainly seemed ready to open up. Caught in a sudden stalemate, she looked to both of them, hoping to catch their gaze.

Eventually, she managed to meet Eva’s gaze, the older girl looking somewhat startled at having been made. But there was no escaping, and with Eva now aware of the attention being thrust upon her, she sighed.

“I’m sorry.” Came the whisper floating across the room and into Sophie’s ear.

While she remained a little confused, Sophia was not. Her counterpart visibly shuddered. Not good. But they both made it back together, so why this tension between them.

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“What happened?” Sophie finally found the courage to ask.

Eva shrunk into herself and Sophia seemed defeated. The former looked off into the distance, almost as if she was trying to avoid whatever was to come. Sophia glanced directly at Sophie, her twin’s withering gaze making her wonder if asking the question had been the right move after all.

The silence was deafening at their lack of replies, even Alodie shifted a little with concern. Sophia eventually broke the silent stalemate, the girl taking measured strides towards Sophie until her counterpart stood directly above her. Alarmed, Sophie could sense the unease and sorrow emanating from her twin, but knew not how to respond. In turn, she offered the only thing she could to friends that were suffering, a hug.

With her arms outstretched, she looked up to find Sophia looking away. But soon, the girl leaned into and hugged back. Yet, at once, Sophie could feel something different in their motions. Where she offered a comforting embrace to soothe the weary soul, the one returned was not the same. Instead of sorrow, rage, loneliness, or desire, Sophia’s hug was one of desperation. Her hands clutched themselves around Sophie, like a piece of driftwood tangled up, holding on for dear life in an attempt to avoid being dragged out into the seas.

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Sophie could only ride along the wave that washed over her. The chaos and fear enveloping her as Sophia squeezed, letting out choked grunts as she fought back her emotions. Worried, she immediately held on a little tighter, offering whatever comforts she could to one whose emotions rarely broke even in front of her.

“Sophia?” She whispered gently.

Hearing this, the girl clutched even tighter, practically squeezing the life out of Sophie. But Sophie remained steadfast, unwilling to let whatever Sophia was suffering be taken on alone. Sharing in the pain, her act made Sophia whimper a little, her twin burying her head onto her shoulders and letting out a pained cry.

“Sophia?” Sophie whispered once more, “What happened?”

Though she called her sister’s name, her gaze was turned to Eva. The older girl seemed to shuffle uneasily, the move Sophie recognized as one in which she often made whenever she wanted to avoid a topic. Sophia’s breathing grew heavier on her shoulder and dragged her attention away from Eva, forcing her to softly pat the girl’s head. It was a small act, but one in which she knew she took comfort in. Considering that for the most part, Sophia still shared many traits with her as her clone, she hoped the gesture would offer a small reprieve.

“Sophie.” Eva finally answered, the girl’s tone and expression taking on a more serious expression.

Sophie waited, not daring to utter a sound as she felt Sophia stiffen within her arms.

“I… I’m sorry.”

Sophia seemed to shake a little. Sophie calmed her down by releasing the embrace slightly, giving the other girl incentive to relax a little as well. Relieved, she nodded at Eva to continue.

“I fucked up. I thought that it’d be helpful if we managed to break into the trading house. The riots in the city started because of that.” She began.

But Sophie could tell that wasn’t all there was to it. So she waited.

Eva sucked in a deep breath, the older girl clearly uncomfortable. But at least she was willing to go on.

“During that… we tried to break in without help and…”

“It didn’t go well.” Sophia finally spoke, her voice making Sophie jump a little.

“Y-yeah…” Eva immediately grew more downcast.

“What happened?” Sophie asked once more.

This time, she spied Sophia shooting Eva a look, the older girl looking sullen, as if stung by an unspoken accusation.

“Half orcs are larger than humans, orcs are larger than that.” Sophia stated, her voice now devoid of emotion.

Somewhat frightened by the cold emotionless demeanor that overtook her sibling, she gave the girl a small squeeze. But unlike before, she didn’t return it.

“You don’t have to if you don’t-” Eva tried to speak but froze as Sophia glared at her, “Whatever you need.” The older whispered, defeated.

“Sophie, you listening?” Sophia snapped.

“Uh-huh.” Sophie managed to grunt, too confused and worried to speak normally.

“Orcs are large, frighteningly so.” Sophia stated again.

“Right…?”

“There was a monster, almost twice the size of an orc, perhaps definitely twice the size of a human. Used as a guard,” Sophia now stared at Sophie, a blank but grim expression on her face.

Sophie opted for another nod, acknowledging the girl but with her brain still running to process this sudden information. Her thoughts were broken when her counterpart pulled away from their embrace, instead holding onto her shoulders as she stared directly into her eyes. Wha-what’s going on?

“It took me, Sophie. It took me.” Her voice dropped to a hollow whisper.

Perhaps unable to stand it, she broke away from Sophie, slinking down into a chair, huddling against herself.

Sophie blinked, trying to decipher the words when she looked at Eva’s solemn expression. Just like that, the pieces fell into place. Oh. Her own face contorted into something between a frown and disbelief. That means she… she got…

Noticing her moment of realisation, Eva just nodded.

“It… took you? But that means…do you mean…” Sophie muttered, trying to vocalise her thoughts.

There was an aching silence as the statement settled in. Neither Eva or Sophia looked eager to elaborate and the horrific implications swam unfettered within Sophie’s mind. It was a sickening thought that made her stomach churn, made all the worse that Sophia was her clone.

It meant Sophia had inherited parts of her memories and her pain. The feeling of being completely helpless, the loss of control as she was attacked by monsters and warriors. Barring the sensation of death and lifelessness, Sophia would have an innate memory of all of those things. It meant that the fear and pain she felt would’ve been magnified to unbearable degrees. And now everything made sense.

The pain, fear, panic and agony she felt in her nightmare were the emotions Sophia felt on a minimal level. And that already hurt like hells… then what she experienced must’ve been… Sophie shuddered, unwilling to continue the line of thought but already too late to stop it. At least now I know why I couldn’t reach out. Her own emotions must be a wreck, Goddess, how do you even process this?

Alodie’s shocked little gasp broke Sophie’s concentration as the girl looked almost apologetically at Sophia. The half elf was perturbed by the eyes suddenly on her, pointedly staring at the table, her pointed ears dropping ever so slightly in dismay.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have-” Eva tried to speak.

“No, Eva. If anything it’s mine. I shouldn’t have gotten either of you involved with this. It was bad enough from the start.” Sophie cut her mistress off.

“But I was the one who convinced her that it was alright for us to sneak in without backup. If I hadn’t, then none of this would’ve happened.”

“Maybe. But I could’ve also just let the inquisition handle this. I was already working with them. They have the resources, they still do. Hells, they even have the manpower to pursue it further.”

“Yeah, but you and I both know they wouldn’t have acted in time, that this investigation would’ve taken a while.”

“Sure. But-”

“Shut up. Both of you. Saint damned hells.” Sophia cursed, her icy cold tone silencing the two instantly. The snarl on her face warned them from continuing, and they waited for her next words, knowing there was more to come. “Does my opinion not matter? Huh? Because from what I can hear, you fucked up, you fucked up, and then I got fucked. Too fucking bad.” She enunciated every syllable, each word making the two of them wince at the harsh statement.

“Sorry.”

“S-sorry.”

They both tried to apologize.

“And enough with the fucking apologies. What happened happened.” Sophia growled.

But beneath that anger that now tinged her voice, Sophie could tell that her counterpart was on the verge of wavering, her emotions now wholly ready to burst.

“Sophia…” Sophie whispered.

“What?!” The girl snapped back, still agitated.

Wordlessly, Sophie shuffled closer and hugged her. Taken aback, Sophia initially tried to pry her off, her fury making itself known with how forcefully she tried to remove Sophie. However, as she lifted Sophie’s arm, she seemed to stop, now overwhelmed by a wave of something else. There was a shift as Sophia dejectedly leaned onto Sophie once, a trickle of moistness running down her face and onto Sophie’s shoulder. Seeing this display, Alodie moved closer to the edge of her bed and reached over to path Sophia’s head, casting Sophie a forlorn look of understanding at her sister's suffering. One that seemed to hit the girl in question particularly deeply.

“I just…” Sophia meekly stammered, any trace of fury having vanished, revealing only the tired features of a frightened, exhausted girl.

“Yeah? Take your time.” Sophie reassured her, “We’re not going anywhere.” She shared a cautious chuckle with Alodie. “Promise.”

This time Sophia did not hold back. She let out a soft whine and the tears started to flow. For Sophie, it was a painful yet eerie experience. Sophia seemed almost afraid to make a noise, to be a nuisance or noticed. Her crying was almost silent, punctuated only by the heavy breaths she had to take. Yet the pain was very real and visible for all to see, the soul bearing all of its tortured suffering to her and making Sophie’s own chest tighten up as she felt the residual emotions tug at her own moistening eyes. There was a rawness in her sister's emotions that ripped at her own, the same desperation for a comfort to mask the pain.

Alodie looked away whether from respect or hiding her own emotions, Sophie could not tell. Eva’s despair was now complete, the older girl letting her whole form sag as she collapsed onto a spare chair, looking despondent at the entire situation.

Sophie did not know how long Sophia cried for. Only that her shoulder was now both moist and somewhat sore. That didn’t matter to her, however, for she could tell she unwittingly shed a few tears of her own. The suffering of a being so close to herself making whatever thoughts she tried to contain reveal themselves through her tears. It didn’t help that she suspected only now, did Sophia finally have a chance to unpack her emotions, no matter how limited the space they shared. For she knew she wouldn’t dare to in such a place like Arteria or Laurusport, nor would Sophia. Or at least the one before all this shit. Bastards. Sophie cursed the trading house.

Perhaps having sensed Sophie’s shift in mood, Sophia’s sobs slowly receded. Turning pained cries into labored breathing and sniffles as she tried to recompose herself. Sophie hugged her tighter, the girl letting out an unexpectedly grateful sigh. Seeing this as a good sign, Alodie rubbed her head a little more, earning herself what hopefully was a sob of gratitude and not pure sorrow.

“I just want to take another bath and sleep.” Sophia meekly sniffled into Sophie’s shoulder. Unwilling to look up but having calmed down enough to speak, "I-I I'm not Ary, but tonight... can I please stay next to you?"

"Of course, of course. You're my sister." Sophie reassured her twin, taking care to wipe away a tear or two. Her movement making Sophia clutch her sleeve a little harder.

Alodie offered the two a sad smile, the girl clearly caught out of her depth in this whole affair, though her heart was in the right place. Only Eva seemed afraid to even touch Sophia, perhaps worried that she had already done enough harm. Seeing, Sophie felt a shimmering sense of distaste. If you think you’re also at fault, then take responsibility. Do something.

“Eva.” Sophie called out.

Hearing her name, the older girl snapped out of her own contemplative stupor, turning to Sophie with a hint of fear in her eyes.

“You know the cathedral best and neither Alodie nor myself are in the best condition. Can you take Sophia to the baths if they have any here? And whatever you have to say; you can say it to me, or her, or us both, tomorrow. For now, Sophia wants to rest, and she gets that rest.” Sophie commanded with a sternness that surprised even herself.

“Of course. Though we only have showers here.” Eva replied. Hearing this, Sophie rolled her eyes and Eva stiffened.

Sophie looked down at Sophia, who gave her an almost imperceptible nod.

“It’ll have to do.” She answered for her counterpart.

As Eva stood up, a muted look of determination slowly appeared on her face. So too did Sophia finally break away from Sophie to stand up, though much more sluggish and reluctantly. Her twin offered her and Alodie a tiny quivering smile that looked less like a smile than someone about to cry again. Yet, there was also gratitude. After the small pause, slowly but surely, she finally began following Eva to lead her out of the room.

When the two quietly left for the showers, the duo waited until the door clicked shut behind them. Alodie and Sophie both let out a tired sigh, the two frowning as they looked to each other for support. But between the two of them, they knew that whatever conversation lay ahead, they were both far, far, from ready for it themselves.

Stars only knows what pain she’s been through. And may the Goddess watch over her, for I’ve surely already failed in that duty.

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