《THE WAY OF FAITH》CH.109-The End of The Year
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If she hadn't had sharp reflexes all over her body, she would have trembled more than two or three times by now.
"It was...cut off."She said dryly.
"Did those people do it at that time?"
She nodded and caressed that area with her right hand unconsciously, "The kitchen in Star Elementary School has a drainage channel made of steel sheets. I was carrying the bucket alone and was going back to the classroom leisurely, but he stepped on my loose shoelaces behind me. You know, all human beings must abide by the rules of gravity acceleration."
She sounded as if her experience was not her own, "The small piece that was cut off was washed away with the kitchen waste, and probably entered the belly of some innocent pig."
Jin Shu saw her smiling calmly, and an unknown fire burned in his heart, "What about you?"
What about yo?What 'what about you'??Yu Ruoling was at a loss for a while, staring at him without moving. What is 'what about you'?She is still right there.
Jin Shu almost laughed out loud with an odd anger. As a trainee psychologist, no one he has tutored in the past few years is as dummy as the one in front of him. Yu basically doesn't care whether she is dead or alive.
"I'm asking you, how were you?"
Yu lowered her eyebrows and felt the extreme pain in her right knee again. Suddenly, she wanted to tell the whole process in detail.
After this accident happened, she could no longer accept someone walking behind her, unless it was a friend she knew and acknowledged. If a stranger walked behind her and was within half a meter of her, she would subconsciously activate her vigilance instantly, it would make her tense up and make her whole body feel uncomfortable.
But it is impossible to always be the last one, so she has been in a state of high tension, which is quite tiring.
"It hurts, that I can't stand up, but no one wants to help me. Even the kitchen staff didn't notice the situation here. It was just after lunch time and it was very chaotic. Originally, I thought I would just forget it, but the wound was too big and obvious, so I had to go to the health center in the end."
She paused and showed an indescribable smile, "The nurse even asked me how I did it."
"Then what do you say?"Jin Shu looked at her, his eyebrows slightly wrinkled, the ends of his eyes raised slightly but without the slightest hint of a smile.
She could not clearly see the expression in his eyes, but he felt very similar to Jesus. Yu Ruoling felt sour in her heart, and tears welled up quickly, but she was suppressed with all her strength.
She had always felt that her life was like a shit, or like a rusty carnival, full of scrap metal and dried blood. As a sacrificial victim, in addition to wearing a pale and rigid ghost mask and continuing to walk like a zombie, so as not to be pushed to be used as a human sacrifice again. She can only complain and complain more to the poor people who accidentally walked in her place and were scared out by her.
Play pranks to vent her anger. There seems to be nothing left to do.
Today is the first time in the past few years that someone has seen the hideous scar on her knee.
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"I said..., I said it was caused by me tripping and falling in the kitchen."She said slightly, having a premonition that she would be beaten next.
"Well..."Jin Shu sighed, rolled up a piece of paper and tapped it on her head, "Why did you lie?"
"Afraid of causing more trouble.”
The atmosphere became a little gloomy for a moment, and Jin Shu felt as if something was twisted into several knots in his chest, which could not be dissipated. On the one hand, he was angry because she was afraid of getting into trouble, which was not what it meant. On the other hand... he was just feeling that odd thing again.
"When will you stop worrying about trouble?"
“Probably it has nothing to do with when I feel like I’m having negative emotions or negative things.”
"Have you always been like this?"
"As long as I can remember, they have been busy enough and I just done everything myself."
She looked at him openly at this time. Not long after her parents got married, Li Qiao became pregnant. Then they bought a house, and the mortgage, baby expenses, water and electricity bills, and various trivial expenses piled up as high as the sky. Later, her mother had another child, and then there were endless medical expenses, spell expenses, and physical health expenses.
It took the family two or three years to recover from the loss of their younger brother, Yu Ruohao. Later, they entered the church and met the most beautiful Lord Jesus Christ. Within two years, her father suffered a severe brain stem stroke, which became the most incredible miracle in the words of the brain doctors in the city hospital. Then, there was another cycle of sky-high medical expenses, until her father passed away and the mortgage was paid off.
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But she's used to it. It’s not that she didn’t complain about Jesus, why things got worse after they believed in Him. But now, looking at everything they have experienced in the past, if it were not for His great grace, this family would have fallen apart long ago.
As He told her, some things were not allowed by Him, but were indeed necessary.
God says, "Vengeance is mine, and I will repay."
He is always faithful, and she has no doubts about it, so she doesn’t strive for much for herself, and because she is used to being independent - long before she knew Him - she is not used to confiding her thoughts to Him.
She started to develop this habit, but only in the past year or a year and a half. There are too many accumulated things, too deep resentments, and too much lifelessness, and it cannot be fully cured in a short period of time. Of course He could do it, but it was too much of a burden for her.
It was probably like the concept of saying goodbye to the world after she breathed a sigh of relief. Considering that her strength is not enough to abandon the world’s negative self-voice, nor can she hear His call at any time, coupled with her irrepressible and currently difficult-to-eliminate hostility towards the same sex.
Jin Shu appeared in response to the order.
"...Did your parents ever hug you?"
Yu Ruoling was stunned for a moment, obviously not understanding the meaning of this question, "Well, yes."
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"How did you feel?"
“Be loved, get energy, and get on with my daily routine.”
Jin Shu sighed again - this was probably the most frequent sigh he had ever had - and couldn't help but flick her forehead lightly.
"But you never relied on them, right?"
"...Yes."She thought about it and felt that the only people she really relied on were Fong Xuan - half of herself - and Jesus.
"You let yourself live as an adult, aren't you a child?"
He suddenly felt very uncomfortable in his heart, but he could not explain the feeling of having his family pet secretly taken away by others, and finally ended up in a shelter… Oh, he explained.
"To be honest, Ruoling, you are just a child now. You don't have to live like this."
Yu Ruoling looked at him blankly, not knowing how to respond, so she had to stare at the ground again.
Jin Shu sighed, sat towards her, gently put a hand around her shoulder, and patted her back again and again. Only then did he realize that Yu Ruoling was so thin, as thin as a thin piece of paper that would break into pieces as soon as he tore it even without any strength.
"You don't have to think about anything, just know what I'm doing."He said.
The black-haired girl blinked, and deeper doubts emerged - did he not... just patt her on the back?
"..."He noticed her little movements, and almost wanted touching his forehead and raised his head to the sky to sigh. He just missed a glass of water of life to fill his brain, that's alas, "I care about you and feel sorry for you. When someone does this to you, you don’t have to make any response or repayment, just accept it. Even if you accept it willfully and cry a lot, it doesn’t matter.”
Jin Shu paused and added, "Of course you won't be able to do the next steps, I know that."
When Yu Ruoling reacted, her cheeks immediately turned red as if struck by alchohol, not because of his teasing, but because of those words that were almost as good as a confession.
'I care about you and feel sorry for you.'
The young psychologist glanced at his patient's red ears and couldn't help but wonder, "Has no one ever done this to you?"
The black-haired girl shook her head dully, her mind still echoing with those words, she was so unaccustomed to it that it was almost impossible to describe.
"No...no, basically they all say..., 'Come on, I'm optimistic about you' or 'It's Yu Ruoling, she can handle these things easily', or something like that..."
Even grammar is no longer correct. Jin Shu felt a little funny in his heart, touched her head and sat back in his original seat. Yu Ruoling breathed a sigh of relief and felt that the air circulation suddenly became smoother.
"Anyway, remember that you are still a child, you can rely on others, and you don't have to pretend to be an adult and take on things that you don't have to take on, okay?"
"…Right."
He smiled slightly and directed the topic to another aspect, "By the way, do you have any plans to go somewhere during New Year's Eve this year?"
"New Year's Eve?"She thought for a moment, "I will spend New Year's Eve at the church, and I'll be Zither at the party at the end of this year."
"What is Zither?"
"Think of it like the position of playing the piano in an worship occasion."
"I see, are those people you know?"
Yu seemed to have thought of something, her eyes softened, and the warmth in her eyes almost became substantial.
"I know them, and they all know me. Except for some elders who I haven't met a few times, I basically know everyone else."
"Wow, it seems that your relationship is very good. "Jin Shu raised his eyebrows and said, "Will the whole church go to the party?"
"Not necessarily. Some people still have to go to work, some people spend time with their families, and maybe go out for fun. However, it seems that a large proportion of our fellowship members will attend."
She secretly calculated that the original fellowship had sent away about 20 college students - college students who were going to join the social group. Although most of them are because the school is far away from other counties and cities, and it is no longer convenient to come back for gatherings, most of them choose to take root in churches near the university.
The current number of people in the fellowship is about 25. Brother Xinyong said that about 12 or 13 people will come to participate on December 31st. Including Lin Yinxiang, whose name was exactly the same as the thirteenth prince of Emperor Kangxi of the Qing Dynasty.
"That's it. I wish you a good time."He put away the recorder, stood up and opened the door. Not a single piece of snacks on the table was touched.
Yu Ruoling gave him a sincere smile, and there was an indescribable complexity in her heart. As for the scar she'd been hiding - even the short school sweatpants that should cover her knees - there seemed to be no reason to cover it up in the future.
*
On December 31th, 2018, famous places around the world were crowded with people from different countries. New Zealand, the first state in the world to welcome the first light of the New Year, took the lead in releasing its first fireworks when Taiwan was stepping into the night just now.
The news was broadcast live, and nearly 300 million people watched the online broadcast. Within a few hours, major cities in the Pacific Ocean, as Sydney, Melbourne, Canberra, etc. all joined the ranks of 2019.
Many space stations outside the earth have captured the brilliant fireworks released by thousands of people. The troposphere of the atmosphere is extremely lively today. A "New Year's Eve from outer space" photo posted from NASA's Twitter account caused riots across the globe. There is a string of countless messages, including endless exclamation marks and love patterns, as well as Americans' feelings about "Make America great again" on social media.
Of course everybody knows who initiated it.
Three hours later, a very important defense point in the center of the arc of the Huacai Islands is about to enter the new year. The sun will return to near the origin of the 365-day cycle in 30 minutes. The New Year's Eve stage of its capital, the remaining five major municipalities, and the remaining counties has officially reached its peak.
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