《Stray Cat Strut — A Young Lady's Journey to Becoming a Pop-Up Samurai》Chapter Eighteen - The Low Down
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Chapter Eighteen - The Low Down
“There’s something about the bleak. It just makes you want to wax on about it.
Dark and dark and grimness. Nothing but shit and lamentations.
But it’s beautiful.
Fucking gorgeous.”
--Bathroom stall poetry, 2057
***
Gomorrah parked the Fury next to the Crop Corp facility headquarters. It was one of the few non-pillar-like buildings around, with a wide parking space next to it currently filled with go-carts and a few employee cars. I winced a bit at the number of cars with broken windshields.
There were also a lot more branches and little pebbles around than had probably been there pre-explosion.
I guessed that shit travelled a ways when propelled by mushroom clouds.
“You get your points yet?” Gomorrah asked. “I’m curious to know if we got the same amount.”
“Uh,” I said. I hadn’t exactly been paying attention to that. “Myalis?”
Do you want a full breakdown of all your earnings, or just the total at the end?
“You know what, give me the full breakdown, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one before. Last hive, in Black Bear, you just gave me the big number at the end.”
As you wish!
Targets Eliminated!
Model One... 179 Models
Reward... 179 points
Model Two... 7 Models
Reward... 70 points
Model Three... 19 Models
Reward... 190 points
Model Four... 2 Models
Reward... 30 points
Model Eight... 3 Models
Reward... 15 points
Model Ten... 17 Models
Reward... 17 points
Small Hive Destruction: 500 points
Total Points earned: 1001
Points after partner share: 601
Current Point Total:
2205
“That’s it?” I asked.
It wasn’t a very large hive.
“Wait, I barely have more points than before we started,” I complained. “That’s bullshit.”
“Come on, we hardly broke a sweat here,” Gomorrah said. “Six hundred points isn’t terrible for half a day’s work. Translate it back into credits and it’s more than what anyone but a point-one percenter would make in a week.”
I didn’t want to act like some spoiled brat, but... actually, that wasn’t true at all. I definitely wanted to act like a spoiled brat. I was too mature to cross my arms and pout about it though. “Well, fuck it. The hive’s gone at least, so we did our part in all of this.”
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Gomorrah nodded along as she opened the Fury’s door and stepped out. I scrambled after her a moment later.
There was a tall pillar of black smoke rising out into the sky above the spot we’d bombed, but it looked as though the smoke was getting thinner as time passed. I imagined it would dissipate to nothing in the coming minutes. There wasn’t much to burn at ground zero except for some trees and the like. Rocks and dirt didn’t burn well, at least as far as I knew.
Looking down from that, I took in the facility. It was still mostly intact. The crews working on moving the gardens were back at work. A few windows had cracked here or there, and it looked like falling bits of detritus had dented a solar panel or two, but otherwise things looked alright.
The greenhouses didn’t all use glass. I imagined that they had some sort of plastic-y shit that was cheaper to work with on some of them, and those were just fine.
Jake, the manager, ran out of the headquarters, hardhat bobbing until he clamped a hand onto it. “Samurai,” he said.
“Hey,” I replied. “Anyone hurt around here?”
He paused, gulped a few breaths, then shook his head. “No ma’am. A few cuts and bruises, and we had one worker trip and he might have broken his ankle, but he’s part of a partial union, so a percentage of his medical bills will be covered.”
“Uh, alright,” I said. “I was worried things would be worse here.”
“Did you cause that explosion?” he asked. “Should we be worried about radiation?”
“No radiation, don’t worry. Uh, the hive’s... evaporated, so no need to worry about aliens either.”
“Thank you,” he said, and he seemed genuinely relieved. “We’ll be moving the gardens on that end of the facility tonight or tomorrow morning, and I’ve been dreading having to work so close to those aliens.”
“You might want some security on site nonetheless,” Gomorrah said. “I imagine a few stray antithesis might be skulking around. They could pose a threat.”
Jake bobbed his head like some sort of nervous bird. “Will do, will do. Thank you both for your services. I’ll relay that to upper management. Hopefully they’ll consider the threat of your, ah, displeasure more important than the loss in profits from hiring security.”
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“For fuck’s sake,” I muttered. “How about you relay to them that if they don’t, I’ll fetch them by the scruff of their suits, give them a rifle, then put them on the front lines myself?”
“Uh,” Jake said. His lips twitched as he tried not to smile. He looked pretty eager, actually. “I’ll repeat that exact message, ma’am. Thank you.”
I nodded along, then glanced back. The Family’s map of the region was fading from orange to a less alarming sort of green. Not the same as the areas that were entirely safe, but close.
“Ready to head back?” Gomorrah asked.
“Yeah, I guess so. Hey Jake, give us a call if shit hits the fans, alright?”
“Yes ma’am,” he said. “Thanks again. Crop Corp appreciates your timely intervention!”
“Yeah, okay bud,” I said as I backed off and returned to the Fury. Dude was a bit weird.
Gomorrah and I slipped back into the car and she started to lift us off the ground. “Where do you need to go now?”
“The museum,” I said. “Or just home now, I guess. I haven’t gotten any urgent texts from Lucy, so I imagine the move is going pretty well.”
“That’s nice to hear,” Gomorrah said. “Are we still going to have dinner tonight?”
“Huh? Oh yeah. Probably won’t be anything formal though. I sure as shit can’t cook fancy stuff, and Lucy’s liable to set the building on fire if she tries. As much as you like a nice roast I’d rather it not be my brand new home that you get to watch burn.”
“Cute,” Gomorrah said, tone flat. “But yes, non-formal. I can manage that much. I’ll have to see if Franny’s up to it. I think she’d appreciate getting out though.”
“Cool,” I said.
We rode on in relative silence. The skies were as overcast as usual, but a few tears in the cloud cover hinted at the bright blue of the sky above. Maybe things weren’t going to be that bad. If every samurai in the region worked together to blow up every hive they could reach and the normal people out there worked together...
I sighed. I was being optimistic to the level of delusion.
The open fields and forests and decrepit little towns were replaced by cookie-cutter suburbs, then industrial and commercial complexes by apartments. New Montreal itself rose up and engulfed us in a warm embrace of smog and steel. We were the sword returning to its sheath.
“What are you thinking?” Gomorrah asked.
“Stupid poetic bullshit,” I said.
She chuckled and we flew on. Gomorrah didn’t have much to say, at least until we reached the museum. We flew a circle around the building, Gomorrah paying no mind to the road ahead as she stared. “Are you serious?” she asked.
“What?”
“What do you mean, what?” she snipped. “It’s a giant cat. It looks like a post-modern sphinx. I know you love your cat gimmick, but that’s a bit much, don’t you think?”
“Hey!” I said. “I think it’ll be iconic.”
“Yes, children everywhere will rejoice when they drive by the kitty building.”
I glared. “Don’t call it the kitty building. It’s clearly modelled after an adult cat.”
Gomorrah shook her head as we swung around for a landing. The big landing pad--conveniently placed between the cat’s paws--wasn’t as empty as I expected it to be. There were a couple of vans parked there, just boring but clean hovercars that had the logo of the hotel we’d been staying at emblazoned on their sides.
“Lucy must be here already,” I said.
“Did you ever consider being Stray Dog instead of Cat?” Gomorrah asked. “The way you talk about Lucy, you remind me a bit of a puppy.”
I held back a snort at that. “Did you ever consider fucking off?”
“As soon as you’re out of my car,” Gomorrah said. “Who knows, you might try to add cat ears and whiskers to it.” She leaned towards me. “Just to be clear, you do that to my Fury and there’s no god in this universe or the next that will keep you unburnt.”
“Uh,” I said. “Right, well, thanks for the ride, I’ll text you the time for dinner in a bit?”
“Sure! Keep safe, Cat.”
I waved Gomorrah off as she flew the Fury back out and into the city.
Now to see what sort of fresh trouble Lucy had gotten into.
***
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