《Stray Cat Strut — A Young Lady's Journey to Becoming a Pop-Up Samurai》Chapter Thirty-Seven - Cash Money
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Chapter Thirty-Seven - Cash Money
“Been doing some morally ambiguous shit?
Afraid people will catch on to how skeevy you are?
Using child labour? Selling people? Using indentured servitude on your employees? Selling weapons to the wrong sort of people?
If you think that your business might get fucked over by the first uptight samurai that passes by, then consider getting AoG Insurance!
We’ll cover your dumb ass, no matter what.
But skip a payment and we’ll fuck you up.”
--Acts of God Insurance Corp. ad, 2050
***
I had time to think as Katallina, the dog whose-name-I-would-change, and I moved through the R&D lab’s corridors. Sure, there was security coming for us, but I had a lot of knock-out gas grenades and access to the cameras so I knew where they were coming from before they turned around the corner.
That meant walking over a lot of sleeping idiots on our way out.
It felt a little cheat-y, but I was fine with that. Cheating was alright in my books, as long as it wasn’t done against me.
Besides, I was busy thinking, and Myalis-jokes aside, I did like a bit of quiet to think in.
Our mission was essentially over. Not in the ideal way either. It left me with a girl (and a dog) to take care of. I didn’t think that someone like Deus Ex would particularly care for Katallina now that it was revealed that the girl was just a normal girl.
She was an orphan too. Which I’d saved. By some weird twisted logic, that kind of made her my problem.
Because I didn’t have enough problems--or orphans--to look after.
Lucy was going to be so much fun to deal with. I sighed and absently fired another burst of grenades through a glass door. The idiot hiding behind it panicked, throwing a jacket over the canisters spewing gas into the room, but not quick enough to stop himself from face-planting a moment later.
There were other things. Money problems. Problems of reputation and such. How would this company react to us blowing up their lab?
“Fuck it,” I muttered.
Is something wrong? The hormone balance in your brain suggests that you’re in something of a foul mood.
I took a deep breath. “Nah, I’m fine,” I said.
“Huh?” Katallina asked. She looked a bit lost in thought too.
“It’s nothing,” I said. “Just talking to someone else.”
Is there anything we can buy to help you?
I barked a laugh. “I don’t know. What do you think Sunshine’s reaction will be to us, uh, doing this?”
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Likely denounce everything, cut ties with whomever plotted this, then funnel resources into shell corporations before going bankrupt in order to not have to save face. For many smaller human corporations, it only takes a few days for them to essentially cease existing, then return as an entity with the same employees and a different logo.
“Damn,” I said. “Shit’s really not fair, is it?”
Not usually.
I stretched a bit. I was developing something of a stress headache. I was way too young for that kind of stuff though. “Who’ll profit from all of this? I mean, in the end, who’s responsible?”
The chain of legal responsibility would stop at the person carrying out the kidnapping on the behalf of the company. The moral responsibility is a little more loose to define. I suppose that in the end, those who run the company are those responsible.
“So the CEO?”
That is merely a well-paid employee, not the end of the line.
I rubbed at my neck through the material of my suit. “Do you know who the big shareholders are?” I asked.
I do.
“Do you know if they knew about... this?”
They seemed aware. At least, those who own considerable shares. Those with only a fractional share didn’t seem to have been informed. Most of Sunshine Weapons was owned by Switzer Corp.
I nodded. “Right, in that case. Those that knew, empty their accounts. Split half of it with the company’s employees. We’re keeping the other half. Liquidate the rest, I guess. How much is that?”
Seventy-three million credits. Before dividing it in half. I wasn’t able to reach some accounts in such a short time, I’m afraid.
I tripped.
“Uh, you okay?” Katallina said.
“Fucking fuck,” I replied sensibly.
That’s thirty-six and a half million for you. I’m rounding it down to big numbers, of course. I don’t want you to have an even worse headache.
I absently fired off more grenades down a corridor, then stopped around the corner from the wall Gomorrah was planning on blowing up.
If it helps, you’re not even in the top half of the wealthiest Vanguard.
“That doesn’t help,” I said. That kind of money.... A burger was 500 credits. That meant that. “How much is thirty-six and a half million divided by five hundred?” I asked.
“Seventy... three thousand,” Katallina said.
I blinked at her.
“What?” she asked. “I’m not an idiot.”
That was a lot of burgers. No wonder Deus Ex was just casually able to rent a penthouse. The girl had been a samurai for a while. She was probably loaded. The amount I had was just too damned much for me to wrap my head around. “What am I going to do with that kind of money?” I muttered.
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It’s about the amount someone in the top five percent would earn in a year’s time. While significant, it isn’t a grand amount. Also, anything you could purchase with human currency could be purchased with your remaining points, but at a much lower price and greater quality.
“Yeah,” I muttered. “I guess I can continue renting that hotel room for a bit.”
Only a few years. But yes. That would be an appropriate use for that money.
A few years? How much was the damned room going for? I decided that I didn’t want to know.
“Hey, uh, Stray Cat?”
“Just Cat,” I said.
Katallina nodded, then pointed to the side. “Can I bring that with me? It was Randall’s.”
I followed her pointing finger and looked into a lab, one with a window all along its wall. Inside were some benches and a large steel tank at one end with a gun pointing into it. The same gun she had in the videos I’d seen.
Giving a gun to a kid was a terrible idea. But then, I wasn’t keen on ideas that weren’t terrible. “Yeah, sure,” I said. I kicked the door to the lab open. It was just a small detour.
While I fiddled with the clamps holding the gun in place, a text popped up from Gomorrah, asking me if I was quite ready. I sent her a thumbs-up emoji.
Her response was an explosion that made the floor skip out from under me.
The dog barked, Katallina screamed, and I felt a bit guilty for not warning her. I pushed the rifle into her hands. “Come on, our ride’s here,” I said.
Gomorrah had parked in the middle of the corridor. Or at least, she was hovering there, the dust and loose debris of the hole torn into the side of the building wafting past us as the air pressure from the bottom of her Fury pushed them by.
A couple of confused scientist sorts ran past. They didn’t seem to know what the hell was going on, but had the common sense to be somewhere that wasn’t near the sleek black samurai car that had made itself at home in their lab.
“Whoa,” Katallina said. “That’s a nice car.”
“It’s kinda hot, yeah,” I said as I moved to the passenger side. The door opened, then the panel right behind it folded out and slid back, revealing two very small seats at the back where my Whisper was resting.
“If that dog ruins my seats I will be giving you a religious epiphany,” Gomorrah greeted.
I helped Katallina up into the back, then let the dog jump up where he snuggled up next to the girl. The doors closed up as soon as I fell into the passenger seat and rearranged my coat for comfort. The sound-proofing was good enough that as soon as everything sealed up I couldn’t hear the rumble of the wind under us.
“So, where to now?” I asked.
Gomorrah turned my way. “I thought you knew?”
I reached up and pulled off my helmet, placed it on my lap, then ran mechanical hands through my hair. “Yeah, no, I really don’t. Did you contact Deus Ex?”
“I sent her what you learned.”
I appreciated her circling around the topic. Didn’t need to set Katallina off again. “Right. So... man, I need a break. The last day has been way too damned busy.”
“Burn out happens,” Gomorrah said. “Not often with Samurai, but it’s not impossible.” She reversed us out of the hole in the side of the building, then we shot off and towards the flowing traffic above. She moved past a couple of cop cars, but Gomorrah didn’t seem to care about them and they left us alone.
“Yeah. Think you could bring us to the hotel?”
“I suppose,” Gomorrah said. “It’s a bit of an anti-climatic end to everything.”
“Meh. You could come up with me? Meet Lucy, the kittens.”
“The kittens... those are the orphans you take care of?” Gomorrah asked.
“Yeah. They’re pretty cool. Sometimes. Some of them.” My eyes narrowed. “They mostly behave.”
“I suppose I don’t really have much to do,” Gomorrah said.
I leaned back into my seat. “What do you do for fun?” I asked.
“I used to have chores at the church, but they’ve been... honestly, they’ve been babying me recently. I swear if one more person starts calling me a saint I’m going to bring them closer to god the fast way.”
I laughed. “Well, you won’t have to worry about that with the kittens.”
***
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