《How I Became A Jarl》Blind Date
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I lived twenty years in place that I used to know as Earth. There I accomplished nothing… No scholarship, no medals, no good work, and zero girlfriends… The latest hurt the most. You’ll understand once you reach your twenties while being single all those years…
It’s been over a year since I was brought to this world of Vikings called Midgard. I accomplished many more things in here over a year than on Earth for twenty years. I killed monsters, brought down a cult, was called a hero, became number one in the arena, and even became a Jarl! All of that except for one thing that I wish to forget… Still no girlfriends! No romance at all! Damn. Even in one city, three girls think that I’m interested in guys! Because of one simple misunderstanding!
Over a few months while I managed the village quite many people moved to our village. There were more people that I didn’t know personally and there were more people who didn’t hear a bad thing about me… That was the perfect time to strike! I mumbled all of that while being drunk in the tavern, Erin, the waitress that I had known since my first day in the village, listened to my drunk talk and suggested this brilliant idea at the time.
[ Erin ] “Why don’t I prepare a ‘special event’ one night where girls can meet a special man?”
[ Eric ] “You mean a blind date?” I barely said because of too many drinks that I had that night.
[ Erin ] “Hey! That’s a great name!
It was a brilliant idea at the time… But right now… I’m questioning this idea. Why? Because I’m sitting in that tavern by the table that is blocked by the clothes and curtains to make this more mysterious! There is even a curtain on the table where I can only see the hands of the person sitting in front of me! Why? Because Erin took that blind date too seriously!!!
[ Erin ] “There are a lot of girls interested in this blind date. Get ready. I’m letting the first one in.” She whispered.
While she was letting the first person in I took a big seep of beer. There is no way I’m doing it while being sober. Once the person sat down we were sitting there in silence. The girl probably didn’t know I was there and I was too nervous to speak. Until I was hit in the back by Erin.
[ Eric ] “Uhm… Hello. It’s nice to meet you…” I said awkwardly trying to figure out the next word to say.
[ Lady ] “Hi. I was told to not say my name for the sake of a ‘blind date’. So… Maybe call me Lady for the time being.”
[ Eric ] “Uhm. Okay. Sure. Yes.”
[ Lady ] “Can you tell me something about you?”
[ Eric ] “Uhm… Let’s see. I think I can only vaguely describe myself… For the sake of a ‘blind date’.”
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I tried describing myself without many details but I was taking too long and stopping too many times. The girl suddenly left with a simple excuse. “I have to go.”
[ Erin ] “Next person! Don’t be shy!”
When the next woman came in I immediately welcomed her to not leave us in an awkward silence like last time. This time I didn’t stuttered that much while talking about myself.
[ Blind Date ] “Wow… I admire the strong man.” She added while I was telling some of my stories on the battlefield.
[ Eric ] “Well… Ekhm… I’m strong as all soldiers should be!” I was saying that with more confidence to keep the ‘blind date’ interested and to make me look more like a strong soldier.
[ Erin ] “Sorry to interrupt but more girls are waiting for their turn.”
[ Blind Date ] “Okay. Here. Take this.” Said the girl as she slid some piece of wood with a number on it.
Erin came up with the idea that if the ‘blind date’ is interested in Eric she will leave a number. After all ‘blind dates’ Eric will reveal himself and call out the number with the ‘blind date’ he was the most interested in.
The next ‘blind date’ came in and I was talking like the last time. Confident and pointing out his strength in battle. After an earlier date, I had an idea that women in this world love strong men.
[ Blind Date ] “Is talking about yourself all you can do? I’m leaving…”
Well… I was wrong… not all of them like strong men. With the next date, I kept stories about me short and asked more about her. When the time came for her to leave she left the number. Two girls… Are interested in me… This was actually a good idea!
I noticed that when I’m not interesting to them they often play with their hands. Taping on the table, moving a finger on the table surface. That was a sign for me to try a different approach. Erin informed me that the line was almost over. I had around twenty numbers.
[ Erin ] “The last one will be joining you in a minute.” Informed Erin as she peeked inside to see how many numbers he got.
[ Eric ] “Okay! I’m ready… I’m ready…” I took a deep breath and thought that this time I’ll start by being humble.
[ Blind Date ] “Hello…” Said a shy and silent lady.
[ Eric ] “Hi! It’s nice to meet you.”
[ Blind Date ] “So… uhm… Can you tell me something about you?”
[ Eric ] “Well. I’m not anyone great. Almost your average man…” I noticed that she was playing with her hands. This isn’t the right approach to interest her. “...Almost average if not for my great adventures! I’ve sailed seas and went to many different islands…” She was still playing with her hands. She wasn’t interested at all. She might be sensitive and rather talk about herself… Maybe? “But I don’t think we want to keep this date one-sided. So, could you tell me something about yourself?” Right when I said that she stopped playing with her hands. I hit the jackpot!
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[ Blind Date ] “I want to ask you something…”
[ Eric ] “Shoot. Ask me anything.”
[ Blind Date ] “Well… Maybe it isn’t a question…”
[ Eric ] “Ask whenever you feel like it.”
[ Blind Date ] “Can you stop acting and be yourself?”
[ Eric ] “Eh? But… I’m myself!”
[ Blind Date ] “You’re not… You changed your tone too many times. Like you tried to find the right mask to use. It’s a blind date so you don’t have to be embarrassed afterwards. If I don’t give you my number you’ll never know who I am and if I don’t enjoy the date I’ll just leave and don’t see your face. So, please. Be yourself.”
[ Eric ] “Sorry. You’re right… I never was good with women… I’m pathetic when it comes to that…”
[ Blind Date ] “You sure? Maybe you just switch your mind when you’re thinking about how to impress a woman or how to look good in front of her. But being your true self is the best you can do. You can be bad at playing a certain role but you can’t be bad at being yourself.”
[ Eric ] “Wow… Yet another smart person. Maybe I should introduce you to my friend. Whenever I talk to him I almost feel like a kid. That’s why I often annoy him to bring him to my level.”
[ Blind Date ] “So you like teasing people?”
[ Eric ] “Yeah… I think I do. Especially for those priceless reactions.”
[ Blind Date ] “So we have something in common.”
[ Eric ] “We do? You also tease people?”
[ Blind Date ] “Yes. My job gives me many opportunities. But for now, I can’t tell you what my job is. But I can tell you that the reactions are priceless like you said.”
We laughed and talked this entire time without any moment of silence. I even forgot that I had a beer right beside me. Unfortunately, the time had run out and she had to leave. Luckily she left a plate with a number. I think I know which number I’m choosing...
[ Woman ] “Sorry I’m late! Is there still a chance for this ‘blind date’?”
[ Erin ] “Well… I think it won’t be a problem.”
[ Woman ] “Thank you. Thank you.”
The woman who came late rushed inside and tripped. Luckily she didn’t fall to the floor. She landed on the table.
[ Eric ] “Are you okay?]
[ Woman ] “Yes… Yes, I’m fine…”
The curtain that was above the table to cover our faces fell. The woman in front of me had a disgusted face. It kicked me after a second. Remember when I said about one thing that I wished to forget? Yeah… That woman is part of that memory. Because of one incident… A few ladies thought that I slept with a man… And this woman in front of me is the one who called me out…
[ Woman ] “It’s you!”
[ Eric ] “Well. Yes. It’s me. And you still have a wrong idea about me!”
[ Woman ] “Wrong idea? I saw what I saw!” She left without giving me a way to answer. “Don’t even think about him, ladies. Waste of time!” She shouted as she left the tavern.
[ Erin ] “Uhm… That was… interesting… Ekhm… It’s time to reveal your blind date!” Announced Erin as he moved the curtain away.
I was finally able to see almost all the ladies that tried “blind date”. Almost because a few of them left without giving me a number and some began leaving after hearing that woman’s strong words. I had twenty-one numbers but when I counted how many of them they were, only eleven were left.
[ Eric ] “Uhm… Hello.” I waved with embarrassment.
[ Erin ] “Our secret man can finally introduce himself!”
[ Eric ] “Uh… I can? My name is Eric. Eric Hoffman. I’m twenty-one years old and… I’m a Jarl of this village.”
[ Erin ] “So Eric. Tell us, which number are you choosing?”
[ Eric ] “Well… It’s definitely this one. Number eleven.” I said as I showed the plate with a number.
[ Erin ] “And who’s number is that? Please reveal yourself.”
No one in the crowd raised their hand or did anything to say that “I’m the blind date behind number eleven.”
[ Erin ] “No one? Ehm… In that case. Eric. Is there a second number you’d like to point out?”
[ Eric ] “No. Sorry, but I was only interested in number eleven…”
All the ladies that took part in “Blind Date” left the tavern and only a few clients, Erin and me were left. I sat there and finished my beer in sorrow. Erin was cleaning after the show and was gathering the numbers but once she reached for number eleven I stopped her.
[ Eric ] “Can I keep that number? Just… Just in case.”
[ Erin ] “Sure… Cheer up. I think that lady will approach you eventually.”
[ Eric ] “Yeah… Maybe… I’ll take another cup.”
Erin poured me another cup of beer but once I reached for the coin to give her for the beer she stopped me.
[ Erin ] “This one is on me. And the next one if you will still need a drink.”
[ Eric ] “Thank you, Erin. If only you took a part in this… I would definitely choose you…” I mumbled while being drunk.
[ Erin ] “I… I was…” She whispered but I didn’t hear her.
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