"Oh, wooow!" a certain hyperactive Celestial girl exclaimed as the double door opened. "This is amazing! It's even better than I imagined!"

"It's even worse than I feared," I echoed her, and my dear assistant promptly poked my side with her finger.

"Hush, Chief. Don't be a party pooper."

Resigned, I followed the rest of our little group as we all entered a very special room within the Dracis mansion.

"So? What do you think?" Dad-in-law asked with an ear-to-ear grin, and since I was put on the spot like that, I had no choice but to give a proper answer. But first, let's look at the situation objectively.

Right at this moment, we were on the first floor of the left wing of the mansion. I believe I had mentioned this before, but we were planning to put together a proper gaming room for our tabletop sessions after the second or third occasion. However, thanks to my lovely but by no means tight-lipped draconic girlfriend, my in-laws caught a wind of the idea and unilaterally decided to do it for us.

Needless to say, knowing the Dracis family's penchant for… how should I put this? Let's go with 'excessiveness'. In any case, when that was combined with some unexpected enthusiasm, the end result was the rustic-looking room in front of us, with its aged wood-panelled walls and fancy-pants carpets.

This chamber, bigger than my own living room and kitchen combined, was completely remodelled from the ground up. On the right, we had an old-school wooden counter, with kegs of beer, rows of various tankards and steins on the shelves, and a large quarry-faced hearth right next to it. Of course, all of those were props, and even the flames in the fireplace were just fake logs and some red lights.

Speaking of lighting, the whole place was lit by a combination of fake torches set in sconces on the walls, as well as a large, circular wrought iron candelabra hanging from the ceiling, holding bulbs designed to imitate candles. In the other corner, between two of the aforementioned torches, stood a pair of mannequins wearing medieval plate armours and crossing their bill hooks. Next to them, the wall was covered with weapon racks, holding swords, axes, and maces, while the standing racks in front of them held polearms and other weapons that couldn't be mounted on the wall.

The third wall, in turn, was covered with a combination of hanging draperies emphasizing the wallpapers between them, stylized to seem like murals, yet unmistakably depicting scenes right off power metal band covers.

Finally, and maybe most importantly, the middle of the room was dominated by a large hardwood table, surrounded by several expensive chairs that looked like they belonged to a baroque palace, but had armrests and a rolling base with multiple wheels, like a gaming chair. They were obviously custom-made.

After taking it all in, I let out a long breath and turned to Abram again. He was flanked by Emese and Sebastian, and at least two of the three of them were impatiently waiting for my answer.

"You have certainly gone above and beyond expectations, that's for sure," I noted as diplomatically as possible, and Dad-in-law let out a hearty chuckle in response.

"Not at all, son! This is the least you kids deserve!"

"Most of what you see here are things we already had around the grounds," Mom-in-law explained with a good-natured smile. "The rest are from the prop department."

"Ah, I knew it!" Elly exclaimed by my side and pointed at the counter with the beer kegs. "I knew I had seen this somewhere before! It was from the music video from Nidhogg's second single!"

"My little girl's eyes are sharp as usual!" Abram exclaimed and gave the princess a thumbs up, then glanced back at me and added, "The table and the chairs are all custom made though."

"Ah. Just as expected," I noted, and then we were all startled by a sudden, sharp whistling sound.

"Oh my gawd!" Angie exclaimed, her face flushed with unbridled excitement. "Look, Josh! Look! I've got a soundboard!"

"A what now?" the guy, saddled with carrying all of our game mats and other accessories in two large bags, shuffled over to her side, at which point there was a distinctly familiar 'wah-wah' tune. As I later discerned, these sounds were coming from a pair of speakers cleverly hidden between the various props in the background.

"That's the sound effect for when you make a critical fumble! And there are so many more! I love it! I love it, I love it, I love it!"

Blinking slowly, I turned back to Abram and told him, "Well, as you can see, everyone's appreciating it."

While Angie was definitely the most hyped by the new gaming room, the others were also visibly impressed. My sisters were curiously exploring the faux tavern on our right, while Ammy and Judy were inspecting the images depicting barbarian heroes, epic landscapes, and mighty monsters on the walls. The princess was the only odd one out, probably because she had already seen the room before, so she was sticking next to me instead.

"See, honey? I knew they would like it!" Dad-in-law told his wife between chuckles, and she smiled sweetly at him in return.

"I hope you'll have fun," she said as she turned to me. "It looks like such an interesting hobby."

"Just a short while ago, this 'hobby' would have made them considered dangerous satanic cultists," Sebastian… joked? I figured that's what it was supposed to be, though his face remained entirely serious.

"By 'a short while ago', do you mean the eighties or the eight hundreds?" I verbally poked him with an innocent smile, and he theatrically rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, Emese was up to some mischief, as she took out a handkerchief and tapped its corner against her eyes.

"Oh, darling. I never thought the day would come when our dear Eleanor could play around like this."

"A-Awawa! M-Mom, don't cry!" the princess cried out as she left my side, only to be immediately caught by her mother, like the world's most wholesome antlion.

"Our daughter is so adorable!"

"W-wait! What's going on!" Confused by the sudden onset of affection, Elly first froze up, and when she realized everyone was looking at her, she frantically tried to break out of her mother's hug. "Mom! Stop!"

Recalling the first time I met Emese, and the cold shoulder she was giving me at the time, made the scene fill the pit of my stomach with all kinds of warm and fuzzy feelings. Also, just a hint of pride. After all, I did heal Mom-in-law, even if in a roundabout way, and without that, I doubt things would have ended up half as light-hearted as they did, so… yeah, I think I deserved an imaginary pat on the back. Good job, me.

"Leo! Stop smiling and help!"

The princess was still caught in the grip of her mother and turning an unhealthy shade of red (whether from the pressure or the embarrassment was a meaningless question), but I wasn't sure that if I intervened, I wouldn't end up in another one of those patented Dracis Family Group Hugs™. As such, I looked for an alternative and glanced at the old butler.

At first, he didn't know what I wanted, but with some eyebrow-wriggling, I managed to get my intent across. He responded by flaring his nostrils, meaning 'My boy, are you serious?', which I countered by innocently opening my eyes wide in a gesture of 'Pretty please?', which he followed up with a soft grunt and a small twitch of the corner of his mouth that said, 'You owe me one,' as he turned to rest of the family.

"I think it's time we left the younger generation to their fanciful games. Don't you agree?"

Emese must have realized my involvement, as she sent me a sideways glance before letting go of the princess. My girlfriend, still embarrassed by the events, hastily hid behind my back, much to her parents' amusement.

"Very well! Have fun, kids!" Abram exclaimed with a grin full of vigour, and they left the room with Sebastian closing the door behind them (though not before sending an 'I said, you owe me,' kind of look first).

"Come on, slowpokes!" Angie called out to us from the tableside, and so we turned on our heels and walked over.

By this point, she was already in the process of setting up her DM shield, while Josh and the Class rep were sorting out the character sheets, the terrain mats, and the customary snacks. As for my sisters, they were busy marvelling at the weapons and armour on display, so we left them to their own devices for now.

"Where are my books?"

"The bottom of the big bag. The one with the Christmas tree on it," Josh told his girlfriend even as he was busy unpacking the drinks we brought.

"Found them!" she exclaimed, and then laid them out on the 'DM corner' of the table, recognizable by the honest-to-goodness built-in control board. At first I thought it would be something simple, like a sound-board with a few buttons, but nope. It not only had a large touch screen, but even controls for the lighting and… did that button there really say 'Quake' on it?

…

Saying that my in-laws had a serious trouble understanding the word 'moderation' was an understatement of monumental proportions.

However, ignoring all of that, and whatever future shenanigans they could lead to, I had to say seeing everyone busy around the table like this was nice to see. Almost nostalgic, even.

"This brings me back," Ammy noted on the side, and I had to agree with her.

"It sure does. It feels like it's been a year since our last session."

"I don't just mean that," she said as she swept her side-braid-thing behind her ear.

Speaking of which, I never asked her about that, and just wrote it up to the 'main character equals fancy hairstyle' paradigm, but it must have been annoying to periodically re-braid it, and sometimes she even had a ribbon weaved in there for some colour highlight. However, just before I could bring it up, she beat me to the punch by sweeping her hand in front of herself to indicate everyone in the room.

"It's been ages since the last time we got together like this. Only us. The original inner circle."

"Plus one," Josh added off-handedly, but the comment still found its target.

"Who are you calling a third wheel you… you fake Celestial!" Penny fumed as she stomped over to the table.

The guy raised his palms in an exaggerated show of shock and then put on his innocent-little-kid face.

"What? I didn't talk about you. What made you think I was talking about you?"

"It's because I'm the… Ah! You're not fooling me!" my sister yelled out and lunged at him, at which point he bravely ran away.

Ignoring the two of them darting around the table like a pair of anthropomorphic animals from an old slapstick cartoon, Ammy let out a disappointed sigh and tweaked her glasses, looking squarely at me.

"Now that I think about it, when was the last time our core group last sat down to discuss the recent events and their implications?"

"We do that a lot in Haven," Snowy noted, which also meant she belonged to the 'Haven Faction' in the increasingly heated naming war between the various factions within the underground base. Go figure.

"Yes, technically true, but it's always with others," the class rep argued back while sorting the various drinks in front of her. "This time, I meant us in particular. Just our school group, from when our biggest problem was Friedrich's bombastic scare tactics."

"Bombastic," I repeated after her. "That's… not the first word that came to mind, but I guess it fits."

"Then what was the first word you thought of?" Elly inquired on my right, but before I could respond, Ammy pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and pointed at me.

"Don't change the subject. And you…!"

She moved her hand and pointed her finger at the overactive duo jumping around the counter.

"Argh! Why are you so slipper!" my sister cried out in frustration as she failed to catch Josh for the umpteenth time, and the guy let out an aggravatingly smug chuckle.

"Hehe! You might be fast, but I've also learned a few new tricks!"

"Stop it!" Ammy called out to them, halting both of them in their tracks. "You are bothering everyone. You should help unpacking instead."

There was a long beat of silence… until Angie pressed the 'wah wah' button on the soundboard, deflating all the tension, and Josh slouched his shoulders.

"Oh, fine. Peace?" He asked, offering a hand to Penny… who promptly love-tapped him in the stomach. "Ouch. Was that a yes or a no?"

My knightly sister didn't deign to provide an answer and returned to Snowy's side, who was helping Judy sort out the various dice that got mixed up in transit. Meanwhile, I let out a soft chuckle.

"The class rep is class repping, as usual."

"I don't know what that means, but you are changing the subject again," she said as she folded her arms. "We really need to sit down one of these days and talk about what changed."

"Well, we are already sitting," I pointed out. "Most of us, at least, so… what exactly are you thinking of?"

"For a start, what happened to Joshua being the 'chosen one', as you put it?"

"He's a what?" Penny raised her voice, half in surprise and half in ridicule, as if this was the first time she heard of it.

Wait, scratch that. That might've been the case, now that I thought about it. The last time we discussed this topic was right after the big kerfuffle with Crowy and the Chimera in the school, and back then, she wasn't even on the island yet.

"He still is. Sort of," I said a tad apprehensively. "It just never came up because a lot of other things happened that drew everyone's attention away from him."

"Don't you mean you drew everyone's attention to yourself?" Judy jabbed at me without warning.

"No, I did n—well, fine, Dormouse. Maybe you do have a point," I relented before I could even finish arguing with her. "I kind of ended up creating way too much trouble for myself, and because of this, Josh was lost in the chaos until now."

"Hold on!" Penny cut in, waving a character sheet over her head. "What was that bit about him being a 'chosen one'? Chosen by who? For what?"

"It's one of those… um… trope things, I think?" Snowy chimed in and grabbed her hand before she would unintentionally fling the piece of paper across the room.

"You know how Joshua has the ability to temporarily adopt the physiology and powers of the various races of the World of Mystics, right?" Judy stepped up to the stage to provide an explanation and waited for my redhead sister to nod before she continued her clarification. "It allowed him to fulfill several different prophecies or other legendary feats associated with the various factions."

"Ushering in the Abyssal Emperor, the second coming of Deus, those kinds of things," I noted absently. "At the beginning, I was pretty sure he would end up getting involved with you guys as well."

"Until you accidentally pulled the sword from the stone," Elly teased me with an amused giggle.

"The key word being 'accidentally'."

She let out another giggle, but then suddenly her eyes opened wide and she let out a startled 'Oh!'

"Is there a problem?" Judy asked with just a hint of worry, but my other girlfriend hastily shook her head.

"N-No, it's just that… We had our own prophecy about reawakening our bloodlines, but now that can't happen."

"Eh, don't be too sure about that," I told her just as I got everything prepared in front of me. Character sheet, personal dice, snacks, et all.

"Chief. You can't just say that and not elaborate," Judy chided me in turn, and I lightly shrugged.

"I mean, for that prophecy to be in any way viable, that dork over there had to have a way to do it, right? Now we have an entire mad science division dedicated to figuring out how his ability works, and once we know that, we just have to figure out how it was supposed to wake up your bloodlines or whatnot and reverse-engineer a solution. Easy-peasy."

"Hey! Don't call my boyfriend a dork! Only I can call him that!" Angie protested with a puffed-out cheek.

"Which brings us back to the original issue," the class rep interjected, fingers already resting on the frame of her glasses. "What happened to Joshua's 'chosen one' status?"

"He already lived up to it?" I responded a touch half-heartedly and pointed at the couple at the head of the table. "He was, on a technical level, instrumental in the return of Deus. Without his ability's influence, there's a good chance Angie's inner Deus would have remained buried, but Josh dug into her to unearth it, therefore by joining with her, he already fulfilled his role. It's just that only we know about his role in probing her depths."

"Hey!" The subject of our conversation called out to me while conspicuously putting an arm around his beet-red childhood friend. "Stop purposefully embarrassing my girlfriend! Only I can do that!"

"I… see what you did there…" the Celestial girl muttered in a low voice. I wondered what her Celestial worshippers would say if they saw their 'Deus' like that.

"Um…" Before we could get bogged down even deeper in the discussion, Snowy raised a hand high into the air. "I think we sorted everything out, so should we get started?"

"R-Right!" Angie exclaimed and pushed Josh over to his seat. "We don't have time to waste! I still have to review my history notes!"

"I still can't believe she could say that with a straight face," he muttered in a daze. "It's wild."

"Oh, quiet, you!" our DM scolded him and then readjusted her shield before pressing another button on her soundboard, resulting in a trumpet fanfare. "Today's session is officially open!"

"Where did we leave off?" Penny asked, though she was seemingly in a daze, still digesting our previous off-hand discussion.

"We were just about to fight the Krampus!" Elly declared after already finishing up her first can of grape soda.

"Oh, right. That was a thing…" Angie mumbled as if it was a distasteful memory, and then after some shuffling, she found the notes I left during my brief stint as a dungeon master. "So, just to recap, on the quest to secure and safekeep the Eye of Askaman, the party encountered the mythic demigod… Leo, how do you pronounce this again?"

"Kringle Langbarðr."

"Yes. That." After some more shuffling behind the DM shield, she concluded with, "The party was then sent on a quest to slay the Krampus, a red-skinned, horned, hairy devil-kinda thing, and we wrapped up the last session just before the final battle."

"That sounds about right," Judy commented on the side, and with everyone's agreement, the game began in earnest.

"First thing first, Leo?" Being addressed once again, I faced Angie. "Grognar is still mortally wounded and petrified." Not only that, he was also left in the cottage of my Santa Claus expy, so I was curious where she was going with this. "You will have to sit out this one, I'm afraid."

"Why don't you let him take over your character?" Elly chimed in. "Like when Judy played Amelia's character that one time."

"Ah, no need. I kinda lost her sheet, so I'm just going to roll for her as an NPC in this encounter and then write her out of the plot."

"Well, that's a bummer," I complained with a dramatic huff. "I had lots of ideas on how to play her in character."

"No, Chief. Just no." Judy cut in, sounding genuinely alarmed. "You were bad enough as Grognar Nounverber."

"Aw, you're no fun…" I whined in exaggeration and even added a few huffs and puffs for good measure.

All in all, this session promised to be a bit of a letdown for me, but I didn't want to ruin it for the others, so after my obligatory complaints, I played along to the best of my ability.

"All right! Let's get it started!"

What followed was an hour-long epic battle of epic proportions against the Krampus, full of ups and downs, near-triumphs and sudden reversals, all of it culminating in an epic final clash where Josh's character stood his ground and (through a series of suspiciously unlucky attack rolls on the end of the boss), managed to hold back the onslaught of our Yule-themed monstrosity and his countless goat-like minions.

Of course, in practice, it was just a lot of dice-rolling, off-topic ramblings, Monty Python's Holy Grain references, and the occasional toilet break, with all the epic epicness only playing out in our heads. For the sake of brevity, let's omit all those mundane icosahedron-based mechanics, and jump to the conclusion.

At last, Ammy's Empowered Fire Lash managed to score a solid hit on the Krampus. We listened to Angie's vivid description of the events (read: 'He croaked, let's move on.'), and after tallying up all the XP rewards, Josh tapped his fingers against the table with a troubled frown.

"Where's our loot?"

"Right. You didn't say what he dropped," Penny followed him up, sounding pretty excited. She was the kind of gamer who only cared about the shiny new stuff with their shiny new numbers, but I wasn't going to fault her for that. Different strokes for different folks and all that. "So? What did we get?"

"That's actually a very good question," Angie responded a bit hesitantly and turned to me. "Leo? Where's the loot table?"

"Oh, that? I thought the monster directly dropping gold and money is kind of silly, so I put all the quest rewards into a chest."

"What chest?"

"Bottom of the third page," I instructed her, and after some shuffling, Angie finally found it.

"It's… wow. That's evil."

"What? Putting the rewards in a chest?" Elly inquired, and Angie hurriedly shook her head.

"Never mind, never mind. Everyone, roll for Perception." This part was simple, as Snowy managed to find it with just a nine, at which point our resident Celestial messiah cleared her throat to adopt her DM voice. "In the back of the spacious chamber, surrounded by darkened, gnarled roots and damp soil, you spot an old wooden chest. It's weathered, and its hinges are rusted, but it is still intact and could hold riches."

"Let's open it and—" Josh spoke up, but before he could finish, Judy threw her d20 onto the table.

"I roll for Perception again."

"But… we already found the chest."

Elly sounded confused, and so were the rest, but my dear assistant remained steadfast.

"Didn't you hear their previous exchange? There's something fishy about this, so I'm rolling for Perception at…" She leaned over her dice, and finished with, "Eighteen."

"Erm… You don't see anything suspicious around the chest."

"Elly, you roll too," Judy urged, and she did so on autopilot. "Another eighteen."

"There's still nothing else there. It's just a chest in the back of the room."

"Hm…" Judy clicked her tongue and addressed everyone else around the table. "Still suspicious. Did anyone bring a standard ten-foot pole?"

"Oh, you're being paranoid," Josh scoffed. "I still have all my defensive buffs on me, so I'll open it. Even if there's a trap, it shouldn't be too much of an issue." He rolled a dice, even though he didn't have to, and turned to Angie. "Andronicus walks over to the chest and checks to see if it's locked."

"No, it's not. Do you want to open it?"

"Sure!"

With a heavy heart, Angie let out a long breath and morosely stated, "Please roll for Prank resistance."

"For what?"

The same question was on everyone's mind. Except for mine, of course.

"Prank resistance. It's half of your lowest resistance score, plus five." Seeing that everyone was still confused, Angie showed the notes I left for her from our previous session. "Don't look at me! It's Leo's idea."

"It's from the 'Fae, Fey, and other Fair Folk' compendium book. The Krampus has some nature-spirit origins, kind of like a satyr, so I thought it made sense that he would use something like this to protect his treasure."

"Is it bad?" Josh asked, sounding uneasy, which was upgraded to 'anxious' once his girlfriend let out a long groan.

"Worse! It's 'funny'! As in, it has a random effect that you have to roll from this table." This time, she showed off another note of mine. "None of these are dangerous or debilitating, instead they were just supposed to be 'amusing'."

"Oh, come on. Don't be so negative," I told her with a reassuring smile. "It's all part of the game."

"I'm immune to lesser curses," Josh pointed out. "Can I resist it?"

"No, because it's not a curse, but a Prank," she told him. "Let's hope you roll high."

"All right, let's get this over with," the guy grumbled, and… managed to roll a one. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

"Here we go then…"

Angie reached over the DM shield and handed a hundred-sided dice to her boyfriend. It was practically a ball, and only used for crazy encounter- and loot-tables. With a careless toss, he sent it to the middle of the table, and after some finagling, we got the final number.

"It's twenty-seven, which means…" Our DM fell silent as she looked up the table, and then the explanation of the Prank, and her brows immediately descended into a troubled frown. "It says that you are going to be haunted by the vengeful voice of the last intelligent humanoid you had slain for 1d20 days."

"That's oddly specific," Josh mused with a hand on his chin. "Does that mean that I'm going to be haunted by the Krampus for the next…?"

In the meantime, Angie rolled her dice behind the shield and said, "Seven. It's seven days."

"You won't." Everyone glanced at the class rep, and she pointed out, "Milfeulle dealt the killing blow to the Krampus," meaning her character.

"Okay, then what was the last enemy you killed?" Penny asked the next obvious question.

"I don't think those goat monsters count," Snowy added a touch hesitantly. "The description said 'humanoid'."

"So, it has to be both intelligent and humanoid, huh?" I mused, folded my arms, and then cocked my head to the side as a smile slowly crept onto my face. "Oooh?"

"Everyone, brace yourselves," Judy cut in with an extra-deadpan delivery. "The Chief has the smile."

I didn't respond to her, but instead, I cleared my throat and adopted my Grognar voice.

"Andronicus! I'm baaack!"

"You can't be serious…" Josh muttered, and even Angie crossed her arms in denial.

"No, Leo! Your character is still alive."

"Can you hear that, Andronicus!?" I exclaimed in mock horror. "The great weaver of fates speaks to me! Ack! Away with you! Can't you see I have negative HP!? What is that, if not death, I ask you!?"

"But, but…"

"Give it up," Judy told her in complete resignation. "When he has the smile, he cannot be reasoned with."

I let out a not-at-all sinister chuckle and wiggled my fingers.

"Aaandrooonicuuus! You killed meee!"

"I didn't mean to!" Josh protested, more confused by this development than anything else.

"But you still did, Andronicus! Grognar Nounverber is no more! I kicked the bucket! I shuffled off my mortal coil! My metabolic processes are now history! I'm an ex-Grognar!"

"Who are you talking to?" Elly asked, and the guy gave her an odd look. "I asked that in character."

"Ah, right…" He quickly cleared his throat and answered, using his heroic paladin voice. "It's Grognar! He's talking to me!"

"But he isn't… here…" Snowy tried to play along.

"Oh, but I am, Andronicus! You might have killed me, but I, Grognar Nounverber, am a mighty fist-caster! Death shall not protect you from my vengeance! Your days are numbered, Andronicus! You are like a calendar, Andronicus!"

"What is he saying?" Elly continued her role-playing efforts unabated. She was really dedicated to the bit, and if I was still the DM, I would've certainly given her some bonus XP.

"He thinks I killed him!" Josh explained, sounding genuinely frustrated. He was also pretty good at roleplaying. That was obviously the best and only correct explanation to his reaction. Certainly.

"You kind of did," Ammy pointed out, much to the guy's chagrin. "You did. You put him into negative HP."

"Yeees! The not-fist caster speaks the truth, Andronicus! For now, you only hear my voice, but in death, I have become more powerful than you could ever imagine! Soon, you will experience my powers! Intimately! I will use my powers of fist to obliterate your left side until you'll be all right!"

"What the heck is that even supposed to m—?"

"I am the vengeance flying on business class! I am the papercut on the thumb of betrayal! I am the terror that casts fists in the night! I am Grognar Nounverber, Andronicus! And I will fist you in your dreams!"

"For the record, ew," Judy blurted out, though nobody else reacted.

"You're just a voice! You don't even have fists!"

"Then I will cast 'foot' on your face, Andronicus!"

"You don't have feet either!"

"It doesn't matter, Andronicus! Death is like a universal remote control! It changes everything! Except for clocks, Andronicus! Do you know why, Andronicus? Have you ever heard of a clock with a remote control? Of course not, Andronicus! As soon as I master the fist-art of clocks, I shall overcome the universal remote control of death itself, and bring timely destruction upon you, Andronicus!"

"Uh… How did it come to this…?"

Angie held her head in her hands, and so I felt obligated to get out of character for a moment and tell her, "You are the DM. You could've just ignored my notes and come up with something else on your own."

She suddenly lurched up and looked me in the eye, and when she saw that I was serious, she threw her fists into the air.

"Damn you, hindsight!"

I shrugged and turned back to Josh.

"Aaandrooonicuuus! I have found a ghost of a clown! I ate him, Andronicus! He tasted funny, but now, I have his clowny powers too! Imagine it, Andronicus! I can now deflect rockets with my sick sense of humor, Andronicus! The foot-spells of the fist-casters and the huge shoes of the clowns, together at last! I will be unstoppable!"

Josh looked at me, then at Angie, still holding his fists in the air, and declared, "Okay guys, screw the quest. We're going back to town and resurrecting Leo's character ASAP."

"Seconded," Judy backed him up at once.

"But why?" Penny interjected, sounding sincerely stumped by everyone's reactions to my act. "I think Brother's funny."

"Not when he's heckling you, he isn't!" Josh griped.

"Oh, Andronicus! You can try to run from your sins, but you can never outrun the wrath of a fist-caster. Time has no meaning for one who has transcended clocks! I'll prove it by eating one in front of you, Andronicus! It will be veeery time-consuming!"

"We need to leave this place and get back to Winterspire," Josh urged everyone. "Quick, to the stairs!"

"Don't trust stairs, Andronicus! They are always up to something."

"Leo, please stop," Angie pleaded with me, but I shook my head.

"Sorry, but no can do. This is the most fun I had in weeks."

"I'm serious."

With my mouth slowly widening as far as it could, I grinned at her and answered, "Hi, serious. I'm Grognar Nounverber!"

Needless to say, before today's session was over, the party successfully recovered my character's body, Kringle Langbarðr conveniently rewarded them by resurrecting and healing him, and I was indefinitely banned from making any more dad jokes. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.