《The Knights Himura》#36: Sweet Nothing
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Tsukiko and Asuka carried on into the night. The journalist's plan to help the Knight blend in by removing her jacket had worked quite effectively. Still, they moved carefully through Tokyo's fringe back streets to avoid any unnecessary run-ins with the authorities. As the night went on, the only other people they spotted trekking the streets were the police officers sent to track them down.
Their destination, or rather the last few streets leading to their destination, were completely dead. Every last shop had its doors shuttered and locked down with their lights turned off, save for one last, proud blue and purple neon sign. Tsukiko found herself drawn to the light, like a beacon, or like a moth to a lamp.
Tsukiko made it to the door and reached out to grab the handle and pull it open like any other day, but she stopped herself for a moment. Her mind cruelly reminded her of her circumstances, weighing on her as brief hesitation. Asuka stood just behind and imposed on her without meaning to, acting as an anchor that made Tsuki push away those thoughts, letting her open the door and step inside.
It was darker inside of the bar than it was outside on the street. Most of the interior lights were turned off, Tsuki's eyes only finding mercy in the weak blue and purple lighting by the bar counter and the pale glow from the jukebox's display in the far corner that let out a low rhythmic hum.
Shizuka was sitting on a stool by the bar counter itself, already turned to the door like she'd been expecting Tsuki the whole time. The look on Shizuka's face was a quiet, pointed concern, not the outward grief and frustration she'd feared. She then tried to see who was manning the bar, but no one was there.
Tsuki's relief lasted only a moment as she turned to meet the sound of rapid footsteps approaching her side.
"Tsuki!" Fumi belted out before wrapping her arms around Tsukiko tight.
It felt wrong. Tsuki didn't feel like she'd earned it. She wanted to push Fumi away and sulk, to punish herself for "fucking up" but she just couldn't do it. Tsukiko tossed all that aside and indulged in Fumiko's softness and warmth, and embraced her just as tight.
Her eyes watered and she felt a pain rise up from somewhere inside. The muscles deep in her arms and legs felt like they were pulling apart at her bones when she tried to hold back the tears. Tsuki pushed through, sniffing and blinking and forcing it all back in, almost enjoying the sting.
When Fumi pulled away, and they saw one another face to face, she saw the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. Her skin was smooth, her lips painted red, her eyes intense, and her hair perfect and soft.
Tsuki felt nothing. She didn't feel any of that stupid guilt or fear or anger or any other worthless emotions that got in the way of what really mattered. Tsukiko didn't feel anything but love. Her heart started to ache in a way that felt good.
"Are you okay?" Fumi asked, looking her straight in the eyes.
Tsuki didn't know what to say. For once, her hesitation didn't come from a loss for words. She had so much on her mind, too much for her to dump on Fumiko right there.
For now, though, she was fine. She hadn't been injured. She wasn't scared. Those were what Fumi really wanted to hear. Clearly, though, things weren't all okay.
"I'm fine." Tsuki nodded. "I'm not hurt or anything."
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"Thank god." Fumi didn't ask anything else as she buried her face in Tsuki's shoulder.
"You need a minute?" Shizuka spoke up.
Fumi turned, still attached to Tsuki at the hip. "Yeah."
"Heh." Shizuka got up and motioned to Asuka. "C'mon, let's give 'em some space."
Asuka stumbled past Tsukiko as Shizuka guided her behind the empty bar, then into the backroom with a smirk. Fumi watched them leave and didn't turn back until she was sure she heard the door's latch.
"Finally."
Fumiko got onto the toes of her boots and put her hands on the Knight's hips, kissing her suddenly. It felt like ages since they'd gotten so close to one another, Tsuki could hardly stand it. Each second they spent connected felt like Fumi'd stuck her finger in her mind and stirred it around, leaving her a dizzy mess.
Tsuki could feel Fumi's legs shuddering a bit. Her hands moved higher, ending up on Tsukiko's shoulders like she was trying to climb her for that kiss.
Tsuki finally broke away for a moment. "Fumi, I--"
"Shut up." Fumiko cut her off. "I don't wanna hear it."
"Fumi--"
"I know how you are. You always blame yourself, you start saying sorry for everything." Fumi tried her best to comfort her.
Tsukiko took a moment to choose her words, her mind wandering through an imaginary dictionary to find the right thing to say, to show the remorse she so desperately wanted to convey.
In the end, Tsukiko could only find two. "...I know."
Fumi responded with three. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"I'm not running out on you. Even if we have to end up living a life of crime like Shizuka said." Fumi let her fantasy get the better of her.
"She was joking." Tsuki tried to pull her back to reality.
"It's not that bad yet, is it?" Fumi laughed a little.
Tsuki couldn't keep a straight face. "Let's hope not."
"...oh yeah, did you get my texts?" Fumi asked.
"Texts? Oh shit." Tsukiko reached for her phone, but of course, it wasn't there. "Damnit, my phone's in my jacket."
Fumi sighed. "We were all trying to call you but you just wouldn't pick up."
"No signal." Tsuki said.
"Why not?"
Tsuki chose to keep her explanation brief. "I'd have to ask Aurelia about it..."
"Oh. Makes sense." Fumi nodded quietly.
"Where is she, anyway?" Tsuki asked.
Fumi shook her head. "Dunno."
Tsukiko looked Fumi in the eye. She was still beautiful, still pressing her body against Tsuki's like she'd fly away if she let go. They kept quiet for a moment.
"...I should grab my phone. Haru must be worried sick." Tsuki made a lousy excuse.
Fumi gave her a smirk, then broke away. "You guys can come in now!"
They heard the sound of shuffling for a second before the door finally opened. Asuka stepped out of the backroom with a slightly bewildered look, with Shizuka following close behind.
"Hope you two are doin' alright." Shizuka called out.
"We're fine." Tsuki confirmed. "...you okay, Asuka?"
"...weird room." Asuka replied. "...it's a lot bigger in there than I thought it'd be."
Shizuka tried to play it off. "Where else would she store all the drinks?"
"Yeah, but..." Asuka paused. "It's just way too much space back there."
"Try not to overthink it." Tsukiko spoke softly.
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"Yeah, it's Aurelia we're talking about." Shizuka joked. "Everything she does is a little weird."
"No way." Asuka shook her head. "Aurelia isn't weird. She's nice. That room is weird."
Shizuka cocked her head. "...you really think so?"
"Hey." Fumiko narrowed her eyes. "Weren't you following me around earlier?"
Asuka stammered at first. "Well. I... Hmm... Yeah, that was my partner and I."
"...and now?" Fumiko demanded an answer in the most polite way she could muster. "What're you doing here now?"
"I led Tsuki back here. We're friends, honest." Asuka asserted. "She's not gonna believe me. You tell her, Tsukiko."
"...yeah, this is Inaba Asuka, a..." Tsukiko realized mid-sentence she wasn't sure of the exact details of what her job was. "...photojournalist. She's been interviewing me from time to time."
Fumi raised an eyebrow. "You're taking interviews now?"
"I've always done interviews." Tsuki replied.
"Willingly?" Fumi countered.
"...she twisted my arm a little." Tsuki sighed. "But it's not like she's a bad person. Besides, if Asuka didn't bail me out just now, I wouldn't be here right now. I owe her that much."
"Bailed you out?" Fumi asked.
"She's telling the truth. She helped me get here. If it wasn't for her, I'd probably have gotten hauled off to jail or I'd be fighting about a hundred cops at once." Tsuki didn't like saying it. "Saved my ass."
"It never hurts to know people." Shizuka added. "If she's smart enough to figure out how to get Tsuki to talk, she probably knows a thing or two we don't."
"That's high praise coming from you." Asuka had a bit of awe in her voice.
"Shizuka's got a point." Fumi nodded. "Besides, no journalist is gonna rat out their story."
"Right, right." Asuka nodded.
"But you should've listened the first time I said I didn't wanna do an interview." Fumi scolded her. "I already said it all, no one needs to hear it again. Stop trying to twist everything into a tragedy and just--"
"It was a cover! We didn't want an interview, we wanted to warn you about Ishikawa." Asuka had a pained expression. "...sorry, we should've been more honest from the start."
"A cover?" Fumi repeated.
"Yeah. Since we heard what happened at your office, we didn't wanna up and say it outloud in the middle of the street. It was just an excuse to take you somewhere to talk." Asuka spoke quickly.
Fumi's demeanor suddenly shifted. "So you were looking out for us."
"Yeah." Asuka sighed. "I got worried you'd probably ignore us if we just showed up and started trying to drag you off somewhere. I'm not gonna get on Tsukiko's bad side."
"...yeah that's a good point." Shizuka nodded.
"Maybe if my partner hadn't been carrying that stupid camera, you would've taken us more seriously." Asuka lowered her head in defeat.
"And you probably shouldn't have sprinted after me when I told you off." Fumi chuckled. "That other guy, your partner, where is he anyway?"
"Tanaka?" Asuka asked.
Shizuka stepped forward. "Oh him?"
"Yeah." Fumiko looked at Shizuka. "Him."
"He should be here right now." Asuka looked around. "But he's got a bad habit of just running off. He's gone when you need him and practically nailed to you when you don't."
"Mmm." Shizuka lowered her head slightly.
"Can you hand me my phone?" Tsuki asked.
"Oh. Are you gonna call him?" Asuka reached into the bag on her shoulder, digging around till she pulled out Tsuki's red slate phone. "This, right?"
Tsuki grabbed it. "Yeah."
As soon as the phone's screen lit up, she was greeted by a long list of what felt like hundreds of missed messages and calls. The most recent messages, at the top of the list, were all from Hotaru.
Tsukiko did her best trying to ignore all of the notifications and missed contact from everyone in her life. She pushed through and got to her contacts, searching for and finding Tanaka's name.
When she dialed his number, she heard the phone ring once, then the call went to voicemail. She dialed it again, then again. No answer. It was clear he wasn't ignoring her, probably the opposite. Just as she was about to give up, her phone lit up with a call from Tanaka instead.
Tsuki put her phone up to her ear. "Hello? Tanaka? Where are you?"
Tanaka replied in a hushed voice. "S-sorry. I'm okay, I'm okay."
"...where are you? Asuka said you should be here, at the bar." Tsuki pressed. "Are you alright?"
"Oh, I uhh... ran into my ex, sorry." Tanaka spoke quickly. "Lotta baggage there, you know how it is."
"Oh." Tsuki was taken aback. "Did... you have anything to tell me, anything important or--"
"Asuka should fill you in." Tanaka sputtered. "She knows. Just ask her, I'll... meet you guys later."
Before Tsukiko could get another sound out of her mouth, he'd already hung up.
"...the hell was that about?" Tsuki muttered to herself.
"What'd he say?" Asuka stared.
"He... He'll meet us later. Something came up." Tsuki lied.
Asuka scoffed. "...it's more important than this?"
"Sounds like it." Tsuki tried to move on. "He said you could brief me."
"I already did, more or less." Asuka shrugged. "Nice to know he'd spring it all on me, the bastard."
"Alright, alright." Shizuka approached Tsukiko. "It's my turn to talk to Tsuki."
Asuka protested. "Hey, I'm not--"
Fumi put a hand on Asuka's shoulder. "She's the First Knight, y'know. She's real scary when--"
"Hey, don't start spreading rumors about me." Shizuka glared.
Asuka went stiff. "...alright."
Even Fumi looked a bit scared.
Instead of returning to the backroom, Asuka and Fumiko backed away behind the bar. Shizuka quietly coaxed Tsuki into the corner by the jukebox where she hoped she wouldn't be heard.
"I'm really glad you're not hurt. When I heard the news, I got so worried..." Shizuka started with a few words of comfort. "How you feelin'?"
"I'm alright. He didn't get a good hit on me or--" Tsuki didn't get to finish.
"Not like that." Shizuka said.
"Then what do you mean?" Tsuki asked but she felt like she knew the answer.
"Emotionally." Shizuka clarified. "How's your heart doing?"
"I dunno." Tsuki spat out her answer quickly.
"You know how you're feeling." Shizuka tried to get an answer out of her. "Are you scared?"
"How am I... supposed to feel?" Tsuki asked.
"...you should be fuckin' pissed." Shizuka stared. "All this happened cuz we broke our promises."
"We?"
"Haru. Kaz." Shizuka paused. "I was the worst."
Tsuki shook her head. "We never made any promises."
"Bullshit." Shizuka hissed. "When we became Knights, we promised we'd protect the people we loved. I just sat there on my goddamn thumbs."
"I shouldn't have gone alone." Tsuki admitted.
"No, you ran out that door cuz you had to." Shizuka staunchly disagreed. "If Haru and I... Fuck."
"You okay?" Tsuki looked at her aunt.
"I'm mad." Shizuka sighed. "Mad at myself. Mad at Ishikawa. Mad at you. Even though I shouldn't be. Mad at everything right now, I guess."
Tsuki's thoughts had melded together like an amorphous gel, a slime that made her feel numb. The only thing she could truly feel was an acute awareness of time's forward march.
"...y-yeah."
"I've been doing this on and off for twenty years now." Shizuka's voice softened. "You did the right thing. If I was in your shoes, I woulda caved the bastard's head in myself."
"I didn't want to hurt him." Tsuki replied. "...not too bad, at least."
"I know. You're too noble…" Shizuka let out a sad laugh. "Too nice. You're the best of us."
"Don't say you abandoned me." Tsuki added. "You're here, right now. Flowers is off keeping up with the Damascenes and Haru's got Kaz and Lily to protect."
"I know." Shizuka lowered her eyes. "But none of us are in danger like you are. There's no one shouting our names from the rooftops or talking about us on TV. You don't deserve that."
"We don't have to figure it all out right now." Tsuki said.
"I love you, Tsuki." Shizuka said softly.
Tsuki said it back. "I love you too."
Without another word, Shizuka moved forward to hug Tsukiko. It was sudden, with strength behind it, and she didn't let Tsuki raise her arms to return the affection.
"I know how... low you're feeling." Shizuka spoke softly in the embrace. "I've been there before."
In the same ways Tsuki could see through her aunt's aloof smirks and jokes, Shizuka could see through her niece's stern face and strong words. In a way, Shizuka was probably the only person in the world who could truly understand what Tsukiko was going through.
"Did you think I was gonna yell at you? Tell you you did something wrong?" Shizuka laughed a little as she let go of her niece. "You don't think I've ever had to pick a fight with the cops before?"
"You did?" Tsuki wasn't surprised, but hearing her say it out loud made her curious.
"Yeah, of course." Shizuka nodded. "That's how I met the old man. He helped me out when no one else would. We ended up working on a bunch of cases together."
"...that explains a lot." Tsuki stopped to think for a second.
The bar's front door started rattling not long after, Tsuki turning quickly to the sound, Shizuka laying a hand on her shoulder. There was a long uncomfortable silence from the group, Asuka and Fumiko quietly stepping closer to see whatever it was making the noise. After some hesitation, the door finally pulled open. A warm draft blew through the bar as Hotaru rushed inside.
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