I woke up in the early hours of the morning to prepare to send my brother off. The maids were quick to lay out all the clothes, and the family had gathered at the gate to send Noah to the camp, The sun was still rising as we all stood groggy and cold from the wind, but the orange lighting on the carriage painted a beautiful picture, while the duke wasn’t here he left a carriage and an escort for Noah.

The carriage had a base white colour with a silver lining, and on the carriage doors was a battle hammer with a lion hilt, the symbol of the Grimhilt family. Noah was the best dressed out of us all, but he seemed just as tired as the rest of us. He probably struggled to sleep last night, and I imagine he’ll collapse as soon as they set off.

“Son, stand tall you’re to be the head of this house in the future” to my father's words, Noah is sure to stand straight. Looking at him now, he has somehow managed to look different; his whole demeanour seems more forged. I guess he’s decided to embrace his future.

Noah turns to look at us, and I see father’s lord demeanour is seeping off him. I feel like I can’t keep the smile off my face, but he’s spent a long time imitating father; now I feel like he’s truly ready for whatever the duke throws at him. Noah, you’ve truly changed so much in one night, haven’t you?

“Yes, that’s right, son, that's how a lord should look.”

Turning back, I see that father is also smiling while mother and Alice seem to be more choked up than I thought they would be, but I guess that's what’ll happen when you have to send your 12-year-old child to the army.

“Mom, Dad, I will not let you down. Alice makes sure to look after Joseph and not let his ego grow too big, as the big sister keeps him straight.” Alice doesn’t say anything but nods with a lot of vigour as tears keep leaking out. Seeing this scene, even father’s demeanour seems to crack slightly.

Looking directly at me now, I know Noah will have some words for me, but I’m just left confused. A child, that’s what I see when I look at him. Inside I’m already 31 years old, and here he is, trying to act like the big brother even though I'm more than 2.5 times his age.

“Joseph”

He’s my brother and not, at the same time, the bastard that tormented this little body, the boy who would go to his little hiding spot when confused.

“I know you don’t need any words of encouragement from me.”

The child that took us into the dangerous woods without any guards, the kid that would always act like father in every training session.

“Ha, in fact, it’s usually you who encourages me.”

The boy who didn’t hesitate to put himself between me and a warg. Looking at his hand, I still see the scars from that day. The Brat that is sacrificing his childhood for this house.

“But I feel like you need to hear this more than anybody else.”

‘Ahh, how did I not see this until now? All this time, I've truly been foolish. In the end, it was just me who felt this way.’

“I love you, brother.”

‘Wait’, I want to speak, but I feel the words get caught in my throat. My vision has also become blurry, and Noah seems to fade away. After he finishes his speech, he bows to father and turns away, heading for the carriage.

“BROTHER”

I can’t even imagine what sort of face I’m making right now, but I feel like everything is spinning. I go to run forward, but Alice has a tight grip on me, so, completely powerless, all I can do is cry as he leaves.

“Father, you can stop him, right? He doesn't need to leave.”

I shout at Father even though I know it’s pointless, but I need an outlet for this. I am angry at this world, a place where my brother has to sacrifice his childhood for this family. The army is not a place for kids. I know that, and father should as well, so why? Why does he not fight this? Looking at my sister, I know she will have the same fate, and with no more words coming out, all I can do is hug her till I fall back to sleep.

It's been two years since my brother left, and in that time, I’ve devoted everything to training. While I still go into the city, my trips to the forge and bren’s bar have become more irregular, and my training has increased two-fold. But this sacrifice hasn’t come without reward as I’m now a level 9 QI apprentice, and all that’s left is to unlock my five senses point, which, according to Rafael, shouldn’t be too much longer now.

I’m currently undergoing another one of Raphael's training tactics aimed at awakening the five senses, similar to the first training tactic of overstimulation. Still, instead of sparring, I’m to simply keep circulating QI around my body at all times, but I’ve been stuck on this stage for months now, and it’s still not working.

“Enough!”

Looking at Rafael’s stern face, I know I can’t help but scowl, “We’ve only just begun.” I know everything he does is for my progress, but I can’t help but think I could have kept going.

“Joseph, you’ve been doing this daily for the past two weeks. If it hasn’t worked by now, it won’t work at all.”

“Then what do you want me to do?” Raising my voice, I know I appear pretty desperate, but I’m lost. I've been stuck for too long. There is nothing else to do but train.

“Take some time; you haven’t left the compound for a month and have hardly seen your family. Did you forget the reason you’re working so hard in the first place?”

*Sigh* Looking at my attendant, I feel my scowl turn into a smile, and his face also relaxes. I have been too immersed in my training, but it was going so well that I didn’t want it to stop. With my sister making it to E rank, I felt like I needed to train harder.

“You’re right. What would I do without you, eh?”

“I’m sure you’d do just fine, young master.”

“Hmm, I’m sure you’d also have less grey hairs as well.”

“Yes, working with you, I feel like I’ve aged twenty years. These damn old bones are being worked into the dust.”

“Ha, how rich, I do all the work. You just stand around all day.”

“I have the hardest job of them all, making sure you aren't lazy.”

“Hahaha, whatever, let's go find my sister. I'm sure she’s missed me.”

“Oh, so now you come looking for me, eh? Only come when you’re bored?” she says as she’s currently got a grip on my ear and twisting it, her punishments have become twice as painful, but I think that's only because I don’t see her as much.

“No, sister, I have truly missed you, haven’t I, Rafael?” Looking to my attendant for help, I see that he’s retreated into the corner giving us family space, traitor.

“Sister, I know. Why don’t we go into the forest, come on. It's been a while, and I need to stretch my legs”. She does nothing but stare at me, which seems to put me on edge, but the smile that emerges and the loose grip on my ear means my plan has worked.

“OK, I like that Idea. I’ll meet you at the gates, and you can tell father the plan.” Leaving the complicated job to me, she quickly runs off, and I’m left with the task of speaking to my father, which has only gotten harder recently, especially given what day it is today.

Standing outside his office, the door seems much harder to open today, but I knew this was inevitable. With the bandit problem on the rise and more kidnappings in the city, there has been increasing pressure to deal with the situation, resulting in today.

“ENTER”

Without even knocking, it seems father knew I was there. Pushing the door open, I see father and mother standing in the room. Father was in his plate armour, Black metal with a Red crescent moon at the centre, his demeanour today was something I hadn’t felt before, and it was frightening to see this man acting like this. Mother seemed a bit aggrieved, and the solemn look on her face spoke wonders about the mission father was about to undertake.

“SPEAK”

His words left no time for formalities, for this was the day when he would subjugate one of the bandit camps or die trying. I know he has accepted this, but I don’t think he would lose. After all, they had the military advantage. The only worry was how the other bandit camp would act.

“Me and Alice would like your permission to enter the forest.”

“And you choose today of all days to do it.”

“Today would be the safest day to enter the forest with the army marching through the forest. There will be no dangerous beasts at all. We would also bring Rafael; I have learned from my mistakes.”

“Hmm, *sigh* I never know what to do with you; you never ask for anything but decide to do so on the most dangerous day of the year.”

Looking at my father, I can see all sorts of emotions on his face. Finally settling down, he relaxes and looks at Rafael instead of me.

“Just keep him safe, please.”

“It shall be done, my lord. He won’t leave my sight.”

With those words, it seems father has relaxed a little, but he is still tense.

“And you stay safe as well, father.”

“HAHAHA, to think you have grown so big to worry for me now, but don’t you worry, I’m not somebody who’d lose sight of what’s important, I will return, VICTORIOUS. Katia, my dear, I will be back.”

And so, with a second wind, he quickly kisses mother and leaves, and I’m left in shock at how quickly he changes his tune.

“*sigh* He has always been headstrong, but when he gets down, it’s hard to pick him back up again. It’s better to fight with something to return to, after all. Thanks, Joseph. You stay safe out there, don’t let your sister have all the fun.” she says while stroking my hair. I Iean into her embrace before heading off to meet my sister.