《Twice Shy》A Fancy Word
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It was Benoit who broke the silence. "I must admit my curiosity as to what could possibly get you, of all people, to…take a breather." She had a curious tilt to her head as she examined Kieran as if she could find an answer.
"It is a private matter that I would rather not discuss," Kieran quietly replied. He hoped she would leave it, but the tightness in his chest knew better.
Benoit's expectant stare shifted over to Augustin. She clicked her tongue when he made a show of staring at the case of jewelry that stood beside him. "Augustin?"
Unexpectedly, Augustin shot Kieran an apologetic wince. "I have some…preferences."
"That's a fancy word for kinks," Jack muttered with a scoff. Both Augustin's and Benoit's eyes landed on him, and he pressed his lips together as he clutched tightly at arms. A light blush crept over his face.
"Yes… Kinks that not everyone is…appreciative of." Augustin rubbed his hands together. He looked at Benoit then dropped his head in shame. "And anyone who knows my upbringing is rather disinclined to participate."
Jack stood up straight, his eyes wide as his arms dropped to his sides. He quickly looked between Augustin and Kieran, confirming Kieran's fears of knowing enough about Augustin's prior life. "Oh, no. What happened?"
"I chose not to participate," Kieran replied. There was nowhere to hide. Nothing to use as a distraction. Everything was going to be laid bare for the world to see. It was bad enough that Benoit would know just how pathetic and needy he was for affection, but Jack? His cheeks were uncomfortably warm. He shouldn't have fed so recently.
"Halfway through," Augustin said in complaint. He looked away with an uncomfortable cough. "Yes… I may have overreacted. I've gotten better."
"And I remain uninterested," Kieran said with a cold flatness. No extra details were given. He may yet escape relatively unscathed.
"At least tell me you're on the submissive end," Jack said to Augustin, his voice caught between begging and an awkward laugh.
Augustin licked his lips and kept his eyes down. "Captured Confederate soldier forced to divulge battle strategy," he whispered. "It…goes downhill from there. Depending on whom I'm playing with."
Jack covered his mouth and leaned back. "Oh, no…"
"As the kids say: I have a lot of issues to work through." Augustin shrugged. "And I'm probably not doing it in the healthiest manner."
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"Ya' think?!"
Augustin raised his head with an annoyed scoff. "It was just a whip! You weren't there."
Kieran raised his face to the ceiling and closed his eyes as he breathed in deeply. "A cat o'nine tails," he said softly. He gave Augustin an even stare. "One that had been previously used. On humans. Multiple."
He narrowed his eyes in disgust. "Augustin! Why would you— It was stained with blood! Did you honestly think I wouldn't notice? That no matter how old, I could smell it?!"
"I suppo—"
Jack made a strangled noise as he interrupted. "Don't. Dude. Just don't. Trust me, this ain't a grave worth digging."
"You don't happen to…"
"It was the first thing I burned. I honestly regret leaving the house when it went up with the rest of the memories. It would have been more humane to what I've endured. I suppose that's why I came here." He shot a look at Benoit, relieved to not meet her eyes. "Some part of me has an active death wish."
"You… You burned down our home?"
"My home," Kieran spat out. His furniture, his paintings, his memories. Compared to Jack, who had taken over a room and had little notes taped to the inside of cabinets in mere days, there had barely been any true impression of Augustin having lived with him for years. It was with that icy realization that any lingering feelings vanished. He recalled the waitress at Moonshine doing her best to reassure Jack. Leeches, indeed.
"I've no interest in being in such a relationship once more. I've moved on," he said, losing all his rage and venom. "I suggest you do the same." He pushed off the counter and sent a final half-hearted glare to Augustin and stalked off to the backroom and his newest home.
Benoit stood and followed, the sound of her heels quickly closing in. "Fleeing so soon?"
"Yes." Kieran paused to look over his shoulder. He looked from Benoit to Jack, taking in the lost stare he received in return. He turned his attention back to Benoit and spoke quietly. "If you would excuse us for the night, I would be grateful."
"Given the circumstances, you've earned that option," she replied. She sighed heavily and placed a knuckle to her lips. "Very well. But before you leave, I apologize for the way I've treated you. My behavior has been appalling. The things I've said… I should have suspected…" She shook her head and looked up at Kieran, her brows tilted in sadness. "I should have spoken with you directly to begin with. Or, at the very least, listened rather than turn you away. And…" She paused and glanced back at Augustin, a deep frown forming. "Well, discretion will be practiced and appreciated by all parties?"
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"Yes. Thank you."
"You are fully welcomed back into polite society," she said, folding her hands in front of herself as she smiled at Kieran. There was a sharp and knowing glint to her eye. "No more crumbs."
"Pity. I was enjoying the lack of invitations." He'd been trying for sarcasm, but missed it with his full honesty on display. He shrugged in response to Benoit's pitying stare. "But if you must send someone my way again, do choose one who can keep a conversation to a minimum. I receive enough useless knowledge of one's extended family from my customers. I shouldn't be subjected to it in my leisure time."
"Now you're being an ass on purpose. I must say that I missed it," Benoit said with a sad smile. She lightly touched Kieran's upper arm and leaned in as she whispered. "Go. Heal. I'll take care of this one."
Kieran turned the corner, finally hidden from view. He looked up the stairway and sighed. He should wait for Jack before hiding away. He dropped onto the steps and rested his head in his hands as he listened.
"Uh… I'm gonna… Yeah, so there's the door, and that sounds really bad." Jack's voice flittered between his awkward stumbling and rushed words. "Um, goodnight? Do I need to walk you out?"
"We shall be fine, dear flame," Benoit said kindly. "Augustin."
"Please don't kill him?"
The worry in Jack's voice brought a smile to Kieran's face. If Lorenzo hadn't killed Kieran over the stunts he'd pulled after his dismissal, then there was no need to fret over Augustin being killed for being a selfish and degenerate liar.
"Far from it," Benoit said with a laugh.
Augustin's uncertain chuckle followed. "I can lea—"
"You will be well under my watchful eye, child," Benoit snapped.
"Yes, Mother."
The chime on the front door rang out as Jack entered the backroom, and he startled when he saw Kieran. "Oh. You're still here. That's good. Right? How are you… Stupid question. You gonna be okay?"
"I…" Kieran shook his head and looked away.
"Right. Yeah. So you lock yourself up. I'm gonna get drunk. Nothing to do with you, really. Just this." Jack turned and waved his hand at the doorway. "Everything. I need a night to drink and watch something stupid. Lindsey said she'd leave us alone tonight unless I watch something interesting, then she'll just sit by the window and be quiet." He looked around the room and rubbed his arm. He looked back at Kieran with an uncertain smile. "You can join us. Me. I mean me. If you want. After you do your moping thing. Not judging. Just offering alcoholism instead of pyromania."
Kieran laughed sadly. He looked up at Jack as his chest slowly untightened. "I may take you up on that offer."
"I'll make you an Irish coffee."
He closed his eyes and couldn't stop the regretful sigh that escaped. What had Augustin ever offered beyond what would get him what he wanted? "I do believe anything you offer will be welcome."
"Good plan. Take as long as you need. Your drink'll be in the fridge."
"Thank you, my sweet, sweet siren," Kieran said as he stood. He approached Jack and stoked his hair.
Jack leaned into the touch. His eyes were downcast as he chewed on his lip. He looked up and placed his hand over Kieran's. "Tonight sucked, but I'm proud of you."
"The worst of it is over," Kieran said, nodding. The worst that could happen had happened, and Jack was still there beside him. "I'm not looking forward to confronting Thomas."
"Well, one down, one to go. Unless there's more weirdo exes out there I don't know about." He looked to the side in thought, his eyes unfocused. He blinked with a start and shuddered. "I don't think I have any. Er, any left. Just that one. Thanks. Sorry. I mean thanks. I'm, yeah." He stared at Kieran's chest and waved to the stairwell. "Hiding. Drinking. Let's go."
Kieran leaned down and lightly kissed Jack. "Thank you, sweet thing."
"Sure thing, Kiki."
Kieran shook his head, smiling as he turned to head up the stairs.

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