《The Simulacrum》Chapter 124

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Part 1

"Aaah! I'm burning! I'm gonna die!"

Sighing, I turned to the girl lying on her belly on the bed. She had her head buried into a pillow, and her muffled cries were barely legible under all the muffling and the noise of her feet hammering against the mattress like she was pretending to be swimming.

"The cringe! It burns!"

Oh. And now she started rolling around while firmly holding the pillow against her face. Left and right, left and right.

"Agck!"

Then she almost fell off the bed, only stopped by Josh's last-second save. She stiffened for a moment, but then she rolled onto her stomach again and started kicking once more while making stifled screams.

"Is this normal?" I asked the guy, and he rewarded my genuine question with a thunderous glare.

"Like hell it is normal! Do something!"

Now it was my turn to frown back at him.

"You're her boyfriend, you do something about her."

We stared daggers at each other for a few seconds. However, before we could get anywhere, Angie let out a loud groan and looked up from the pillow. Face red like a lobster and out of breath, she held her head in her hands.

"Why did I say that? I mean, it felt perfectly normal at the time, but who in their right mind yells 'Who do you think you are?' like that!" For some inexplicable reason, she quoted herself with a deeper voice (and a faux-British accent), but as it made her recall the scene, she let out another high-pitched yelp and buried her face into the pillow again.

Personally, I would've been more distressed by the part where she threatened to kill Tsephanyah, but that was just Angie for you, I supposed. In any case, Josh was still glaring at me, as if any of this situation was somehow my fault, so I gave up and plugged a phantom limb into his Magiformer.

"{Tell her that it wasn't that big of a deal, and that there are people out there who find this kind of thing very impressive. The Directorate was in dire need of some dressing down anyway, so tell her she didn't do anything wrong, and then do some mushy lovey-dovey stuff until she calms down.}"

With the message delivered, I turned on my heel and walked out of the Celestial suite's bedroom. My friend was so startled by my communique that he only registered my intent to leave when I was already at the door.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"I have stuff to do. Do your part, and I'll call you when the lunch is here."

"Lunch?" Angie raised her head from the pillow again, and when our eyes met, I nodded… and then closed the door behind me.

With heavy steps, I walked over to the sofa in the living room and sat down. Angie was proving to be a handful, though thankfully she didn't start throwing a tantrum until we returned to my quarters. Luckily, I had Josh around to deal with that, so I could focus on more important topics.

There were a lot of unforeseen developments in quick succession, so let's start with a summary. First, there seemed to be some kind of 'sliding scale' between Angie and Deus, and using her powers was tripping the balance towards the latter. Josh using his Celestial powers did the same, and worse yet, the two of them were creating something of a feedback loop between the two of them. In conclusion, I had to figure out a way to help them suppress that, either through discipline or more active means.

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Next, Angie single-handedly diverted the flow of the plot into a completely different direction than expected. While I had a feeling the Directorate wouldn't take it lying down, things were already in motion, and barring another massive shift in the situation, I imagined we would be back on Critias much sooner than I would've ever thought.

There were a lot of logistical points I had to figure out regarding that though. For a start, I will have to explain everything to the Draconic Federation and the Assembly ambassadors. On the Celestial side, if we returned to the island, we couldn't avoid revealing a few things, such as Josh's identity. We couldn't have him running around in his disguise all the time, after all… and on second thought, the same applied to Mountain Girl as well.

Groaning, I threw my head back and tried to come up with a sensible explanation that would satisfy both the Draconian elders, the Magi, and the Celestial bigwigs, but I was drawing a blank. If all else failed, I figured Refuge in Audacity would save the day, as usual, but I couldn't rely on that all the time. The last time I did that to resolve a multi-front situation, I ended up with Bel, and we all know how that turned out in the long run…

Then, if all of that wasn't annoying enough already, I also had to consider the Doylist perspective on top of that. For example, Angie's reasons for wanting to return to Critias were refreshingly sensible, but it didn't mean they weren't narratively influenced. In that case, did our nebulous Narrative want us back on the island, and if it did, was it the original plot all along, or yet another last-minute course correction because I broke something somewhere else? If only the corner of my mind that had some insight into the Narrative's plot devices wasn't a bloody bastard and shared some of that intel, am I right?

I also had to consider what to do with the whole Deus situation. The optimist in me said that, considering all the tonal- and genre-indicators we had documented so far, there was no way the Simulacrum would end on a downer note, so it was guaranteed that there was some kind of nice and very convenient way for Josh to resolve the whole inner-Deus dilemma on his own, without my interference. In contrast, my inner pragmatist argued that it wasn't exactly a foolproof theory, and that I should consider separating them for the time being, because that whole Deus-feedback-loop thing could bite us in the arse later. And then there was my inner pessimist, which did its best nocturnal-echo-locating-mammal-man impression as it stepped out of the dark recesses of my mind and said: Contingency plans. Get on with it.

Well, I couldn't argue with that. The adage 'Hope for the best, prepare for the worst' hasn't betrayed me so far, so I was going to trust it once again.

The first step was to figure out the situation in the Elysium, so I did a quick Far Sight round check on my marks. My first stop was at the chief directors', and I found all of them in the Directorate's shady boardroom. They were in the middle of a big emergency meeting, mostly concerning Angie, and while that should've been insightful on paper, I gave up and moved on about five minutes later. To put it bluntly, I'd already seen this exact same meeting about half a dozen times. Replace any instance of 'Deus' with 'Polemos', and I could even go as far as to say I'd heard it all word for word as well.

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The only semi-interesting detail was the condition of the three faction leaders. Tsephanyah was none the worse for wear after his recent rebuke by Angie, but remained completely silent, and only listened to the proceedings. Mensah was much more active, but only as far as supporting certain other directors was concerned, as he added little to the conversation. To be fair, he looked like he just came out of a full washing cycle on the 'intense' setting, and between his pale skin and black eyes, I was surprised he was even coherent. As for Savir, she was sleeping. With her eyes open. Or at least that was the most reasonable explanation I could think of, considering she was completely motionless and staring at the documents in front of her without blinking.

All in all, there was nothing much to see there, so I checked out a few of my other marks, and only lingered a bit longer at the ground floor barracks and the Praetorian Guards. I didn't learn anything strictly new there though, so I soon moved on to check on Rinne. As demanded by the universal rules of timing, I found her just arriving in front of the entrance of my quarters, in the company of Jaakobah, and the quiet hiss of the door opening signalled the end of this Far Glancing session.

"Lord Archon?"

Standing up, I gave a nod to the phlegmatic agent entering the room. Mountain Girl remained silent, as usual, and made her way over to my side without any reservations. In the meantime, Jaakobah glanced around and raised a curious brow.

"She was tired, so they are resting in the bedroom," I answered his implicit question, and he let his brow.

"Your orders?"

"Re-establish the lockdown of the floor. This time, do it properly. On the inside and the outside as well." Pausing, I tapped on the pommel of Teeny hanging on my side, feeling that I was forgetting something. It took me a few long seconds, but I figured it out. "Yes, I just remembered. Go down to the kitchens, and tell the staff to make today's lunch hearty. With ample desserts. Also, make sure none of them tampers with the food."

"No one would dare." He must have been responding on reflex, because his face clouded over the moment he gave some thought to my request, no doubt recalling the last incident. "As you command."

After he left, I let out a long breath. I wasn't the only one who relaxed a bit though, as Rinne immediately removed her helmet and said, "Jaakobah-san is a good soldier. He obeys his superiors, and doesn't ask questions."

"I'm not entirely sure I agree with your idea of a 'good soldier', but let's not get bogged down in that conversation."

I gestured for her to follow after me, and we headed over to the bedroom.

"Did something happen to make Angie-chan tired?"

"Nothing major. Her inner Deus acted up, made Tsephanyah soil his pants, and then she was hit by a wave of self-awareness."

"Rinne isn't sure Rinne understood that. What is a 'wave of self-awareness'?"

"… Right. You're the type who never had to deal with anything like that, aren't you?" She tilted her head to the side, half in curiosity and half in confusion, so I waved my hand to move the conversation along. "Don't mind any of that, it would take too long to explain. The important part is that nothing major happened, and by now…" Opening the door, I glanced inside and nodded with satisfaction. "Yup. Cuddling. As expected."

"Oh, come on, man," Josh grumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed with Angie sitting on his lap. "Haven't you ever heard of privacy?"

"I can't say I'm familiar with the concept," I jested and walked over. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little," Angie admitted with a slight pout and rested her head on Josh's shoulder.

"Glad to head that." I smiled for punctuation and then went back to a neutral expression right away. "Listen up, guys. I have to leave to make some arrangements. Until I come back, stay put, don't open the door to strangers, and don't do anything Judy would disapprove of." Angie giggled, while Josh only rolled his eyes. Once I was sure that sunk in, I continued with, "If you're thirsty, we have some soda in Rinne's cooler. I should be back before lunch, but if I'm late, you can start without me. As for you…"

"Maintain security, don't let anyone in, and keep Joshua-kun and Angie-chan safe," Mountain Girl rattled off without waiting for me to finish the sentence, and I nodded in confirmation.

"Precisely. I'll be back soon."

With those parting words, I locked onto one of my marks and reappeared inside the underground base's teleport closet. The reception area was empty, but once I entered the main hall, there was a bit of commotion once the Fauns noticed me.

"[Thou art early, Blackloak,]" Brang addressed me once I made my way over to the armoury. He was wearing his usual blacksmith's leather apron and, based on the tools around in his hands, he was doing maintenance on his spear.

"[The twists and turns of the state of affairs are on the course of rising in byzantine intricacy yet again. Where may I procure my electronic message pigeon?]"

The old Faun let out a soft grunt and put his tools down. He leisurely walked over to one of the worn green cabinets in the back and pulled out a drawer.

"[At thy disposal, Backcloak.]"

He handed the phone over with a toothy smile, and I turned it on right away. Since I couldn't use it in the Elysium, and I kept misplacing it whenever I was switching between my outfits, I left it in the ex-general's care. It's been a while since I last used it, but the battery was still at over forty percent. Good enough.

"[My gratitude is immeasurable,]" I mumbled under my breath, and once the operating system booted, I waved my goodbyes and started walking. A few pokes later, I could already hear the dial tone, and it only took a few seconds for Judy to pick up on the other end. "Hi, Dormouse."

"Hi, Chief. Why did you call?"

"… I presume you wanted to ask 'Why did you use the phone instead of visiting in person?', right?"

"Yes. I'm just grumpy, because you woke me up."

That made my feet stop for a moment.

"It's almost eleven in the morning."

"It's the weekend. Also, we stayed up late last light," she told me in a deadpan voice, followed by a noise I presumed was a stifled yawn. "Theorycrafting."

"Keep it in moderation. As for the initial question, I'm multitasking, because we have some new developments. By the looks of it, we'll be coming back to Timaeus soon."

"Really?"

That question came from the princess. By the sound of it, she was listening in.

"Yeah. Angie pulled the Deus card and told the Reformers she wants to come home to study economics and statecraft."

"That doesn't sound like Angeline at all," Judy noted dispassionately.

"It made sense in context. I'll tell you the details later. Can I ask you to lay the groundwork with Dad-in-law and Naoren?"

"Sure! When are you coming home?"

That was Elly, once again, and while I would've loved to give her a clear answer, I had none.

"Not entirely sure. In a few days, at most. We still have some unfinished business in the Elysium, and the logistics of our friendly neighbourhood messianic archetype going to school with us is already giving me headaches, but we'll figure something out."

"Noted. Where are you right now?"

"In the base, I need to talk to Fred, and then find Peabody, and…" Just as I said that, I arrived at the main workshops, and let out a pleasantly surprised hum. "Scratch that last one. Anyhow, I'll visit you guys later."

"Wait! Don't do that!" Elly cut in, much to my surprise.

"Why?"

"Because if you're going to be back properly soon, then if we don't see each other for a while, we can have one of those big, emotional reunions in front of everyone!"

"It is a classic trope…" Judy mused, sounding like she was seriously considering the idea.

"How about we discuss this later? I'm already at my destination."

"Okay. We'll make the plans," my dear assistant told me, apparently settling on supporting Elly's idea. "Love you."

"I love you two. Kisses."

I could hear a smacking noise on the other side, which was most likely coming from the princess, and after a chuckle, I cut the line and turned to the people in front of me.

Inside the main workshop, surrounded by all kinds of machinery ranging from pulp-science beep-boxes to sleek modern equipment reminiscent of hospital ultrasound machines, Galatea, Fred, the man with the plague-doctor mask, and Peabody were seated around a table on stools, boxes, and other jury-rigged sitting implements. They patiently waited for me to finish my call, and only when I pocketed my phone did Friedrich let out a low chuckle.

"Kihihi. Hello, boss. We weren't expecting you."

"O-ho-ho! That is an understatement!" the portly nurse noted and used a napkin to wipe his forehead. By the looks of it, they were having an early lunch break, with a couple of open pizza boxes on the table between them. He looked me over from head to toe, and let out a shallow sigh. "I missed your last appearance, but to think you could truly return from the Celestials' realm whenever you wished! How truly remarkable!"

Now as I thought about it, I hadn't seen the old nurse in quite a while. While he was ostensibly working for me now, he still had his day job at the school, and unlike Fred and the rest of the Research Society members, he wasn't living in the base, so whenever I showed up for my daily check-ups during the night, he was back in his home and sleeping.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" After those meaningless words, I levelled my gaze on Fred and Mr. Plague Doctor. "It's lucky that all of you are here. I have a job for you."

"Both of us?" the faceless researcher asked back, sounding rather excited by the prospect.

"All of you," I emphasized, and gave them a quick rundown of the situation, starting from how Angie had Deus's soul entangled with her own… or how her soul was built upon his reincarnated one. I still wasn't entirely sure, because I couldn't safely mess around her yarn ball, but figuring out these kinds of things was why I kept these guys around. Once I reached the end of my description, I capped it off with, "I don't want to wait until we're officially back, so prep the equipment. I'll bring her over tonight."

"Kihihi! Got it, boss!"

"A new research subject! How marvelous!"

The two mad scientists literally rubbed their hands in anticipation, all the while Peabody was getting visibly flustered.

"O-ho-ho? I presume you have a task for me too?"

"Yes, I do."

"I'm afraid I know little when it comes to souls, but I would be honored to help."

"Ah, no. I have something else in mind for you," I cut in before he would get the wrong idea. "I need you to make an empty homunculus body."

"Empty?" he echoed me, looking surprised by my request.

"Yeah. Without a soul. And I mean that literally, not in terms of the Assembly's classification system. Make it a male adult. If a child is done faster, we can work with that too, but an adult body would be preferable." Pausing, I snapped my finger in realization and added, "Also, call Saahira. Tell her that I'm calling in a favour, and I need her to build another of soul-scaffolding."

"Wait, Leonard! Please, wait!" Peabody raised his voice and got onto his feet before grabbing another napkin and wiping his forehead again. "You need a homunculus right now?"

"Not this instant, but as soon as possible. Based on how things are proceeding, I think I can give you two weeks at most."

"I… I can't do that, I'm afraid," he told me with a solemn expression. "We just finished setting up my workshop, I don't have any of the necessary materials, and most importantly, all my old research notes and records that were kept in the Timaeus School of Conjuration and Alteration were lost."

"Research notes," I repeated after him, and he nodded.

"Yes. I handed them over to Amadeus for safekeeping, but they were misplaced, along with his own research on homunculi."

"Oh? Oooh! I knew that it was going to be useful one of these days!" I exclaimed as a realization dawned on me, and I turned to the hitherto silent android. "Galatea?"

"Yes, Grandmaster?"

"Would you please get me a box? It's in the back of the third storeroom, under some tarp. It's full of papers and other doodads. If you can't find it right away, ask Pudding-kun. He's disguised as a chair, and he should point you in the right direction."

She stared at me, and then at the pizza on the table.

"It's going to get cold."

"Oh, don't be a kid," I grumbled and shooed her away. "I'll have the ninjas get you another one."

"With stuffed crust?"

"With stuffed crust."

"And extra toppings?"

"Within reason."

"Can I get two?"

"Don't stretch it."

She clicked her tongue and walked out of the workshop. Mr. Plague Doctor whistled, as if getting her to move was some kind of achievement, while Peabody wrung his hands.

"O-ho-ho? Is that what I think it is?"

"Most likely."

"But how did it end up in a storeroom here?"

I shrugged.

"It's a long story. Anyhow, if you have all that, can you make me a spare body post-haste?"

"I think if we use the right cell strain, and with the support of Friedrich and Saahira—"

"This is a priority project, so you can have the support of the whole research division."

My answer should've been reassuring, yet it only made him more worried.

"But Leonard… Why do you need a homunculus?"

That wasn't an unreasonable question, but I wasn't quite ready to reveal my cards yet. Since a plan was exponentially more likely to succeed the more well it was hidden, it was in my best interest to keep things vague. As such, I just smiled mysteriously and uttered, "Contingency plans."

Part 2

I had to say, at the risk of sounding clichéd, that the next two days flew by in the blink of an eye. Between the preparations to take Angie on her Grand Elysium Tour (not my title for the event; in fact, it was invented by the Directorate), pushing away all the bootlickers trying to get into her good graces, and keeping an eye on the two lovebirds to make sure they don't cause another Deus overload, I could barely surface long enough to catch a breath. At least things on Critias were proceeding smoothly, thanks to Roland taking the reins, and our new special project under the joint leadership of Peabody and Sahi was also shaping up nicely. As it turned out, delegation did have its perks. Who would've thought?

In any case, after that whole hurricane of pains-in-the-asses finally calmed down into a much more manageable whirlwind of pains-in-the-necks, I decided to combine business with leisure for once and have a bit of an unorthodox break in the evening.

"Enjoy."

I graciously accepted the glazed green mug from my host. I raised it to my nose and savoured its aroma before taking a long sip, followed by an equally long, pleased sigh.

"You have no idea how much I missed this."

The man sitting at the opposite end of the small table, right in the middle of one of the smaller guest rooms of the Dracis estate, let out a soft chuckle and refilled my mug before I could even ask for it.

"You've been busy lately, haven't you?" Naoren asked and pushed the small tray of tea biscuits over to my side. They weren't traditionally paired with Chinese green tea, but he apparently picked up the habit from Sebastian. Speaking of which, the old dragon on our left let out an appreciative hum and lightly sloshed the tea in his mug.

"Well-brewed, young man. Well brewed."

"I thank you for the compliment, Great Ancestor."

The corners of the old butler's mouth rose imperceptibly and he took an elegant sip from his cup. While in public, Sebastian was still acting as a 'simple' steward for the Dracis family, ever since I convinced the old dragon to tell his secret to Naoren, for Odango Girl's sake, the Feilong patriarch had been treating him like royalty in private.

"It's a shame dad-in-law couldn't join us today," I noted as I followed Sebastian's example and sloshed my drink around a bit to bring out more of its aroma.

"The rascal was never interested in tea culture," he grumbled and finished his cup. "Let's forget about him for now, and let's continue where we were."

"I concur." Naoren put his mug down and levelled a pair of attentive eyes on me. "When are you going to be officially back?"

"I can't say anything for certain yet, but if you put a gun to my head, I'd say on the weekend at the latest. I'm hoping for Saturday, but it's predicated on nothing unexpected creeping up in the meantime."

"Is Lady Rinne also coming back with you?"

I raised a brow at Naoren's question and promptly nodded.

"Naturally. Speaking of her, you better prepare yourself. She's been studying literary analysis books in her free time for weeks now, just to show you up."

Now it was his turn to raise his brows, followed by a soft chuckle.

"Oh? Is she still holding a grudge?"

He whispered something about her 'cute side', but I couldn't pay full attention, because Sebastian grabbed the rudder of the conversation by hitting his spoon on the rim of his cup.

"How much of a Celestial presence can we expect in Timaeus?"

"Nothing major. I already vetoed their attempt to create a clandestine military outpost on the island. I had to give up the opportunity to create an embassy in exchange for it, but we can give that another try later."

"A Celestial embassy. I never thought I would hear those two words in the same sentence, let alone so close to each other," the old dragon commented with a distinctly amused undertone. "Since the terms you used were 'nothing major', I suspect there would be a minor deployment of forces. Am I correct?"

"In a sense, yes," I admitted between two sips. "My Praetorian Guard would follow us to ensure our safety."

"Are those the bodyguards you mentioned in the past?" Naoren inquired, and I nodded along.

"Numbers?" came the next question from Sebastian.

"Nine, if we count Jaakobah."

"How dangerous are they?"

"Individually pretty middling. Slightly troublesome in a group, but nothing to write home about."

Naoren's eyes narrowed behind his glasses.

"Didn't you say they were elites?"

"By a measure of the word," I replied with a shrug while simultaneously picking up a biscuit. "Celestials just aren't super-impressive unless they can get you caught up in their rhythm. One-on-one, Rinne could solo them all one after the other without much trouble."

"That doesn't tell us much. Lady Rinne is one of the most remarkable warriors of our generation," Naoren pointed out, and I had to shrug again.

"If you say so. I'd still say Celestials are more 'quantity' than 'quality'. The only threatening anything I've seen in the Elysium was a Colossus, and they don't seem to be very common."

Well, that, and Angie in her Deus-mode, but they didn't need to know that.

"A Colossus, you say?" Sebastian raised a brow, sounding rather apprehensive. "Those creatures are rather troublesome, are they not?"

"The one I met was certainly annoying, but it wasn't that powerful," I answered between two bites, and this time his brows descended into a frown.

"There's no need for bravado here, my boy. I have faced those creatures myself during the Old War. I know how tenacious they can be, and with the right equipment, they could pose a mortal threat even to my kin."

"Then the one I saw must've been underequipped," I concluded, and Sebastian nodded along as if I gave him a concession.

"While all of this is fascinating, you have yet to properly describe these honour guards," Naoren pointed out, a finger tapping on the table. "Can you at least give us a rough estimate? Or a comparison?"

"Okay, then what if I say I'd put them roughly on the same level as our Fauns?"

"That's… hm…"

While the bespectacled patriarch pondered, Sebastian refilled all our cups and raised a different inquiry.

"Speaking of whom, I have heard some troubling news about a new group of Abyssal warriors prowling the streets of our city. Shouldn't we root them out before your 'official' return?"

Ignoring the unnecessary air quotes, I shook my head.

"Not yet. They are keeping a low profile, and there's only been a few small skirmishes, so there's no real hurry to crack down on them. I'm planning to have Rinne take care of the operation once we're back. Officially."

I put extra emphasis on the last word and even mimed the air quotes, but Sebastian didn't seem to get it. Naoren, on the other hand, looked rather confounded by what I just said.

"Why do you require Lady Rinne for such a simple task?"

"Brang says they most likely belong to his old scout corps," I explained, before taking a sip to wash down the biscuit in my mouth. "I want to capture them alive to see if they could be convinced to switch sides, and it would be much easier with her around."

Or rather, with Onikiri's weird and hitherto not fully understood ability to suppress Fauns, but there was no need to go into the gritty details.

"I still do not like leaving a potential threat roaming free on our island, but I'll defer to your judgment." Following those grumbles, Sebastian also picked up a biscuit. I had no idea how, but he managed to make even that look elegant. "Where were we before this tangent? The Celestial guards, I believe?"

"Yes," Naoren cut in and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "What can we expect from them?"

"Considering I've been hammering the importance of perimeter control and security measures into them for the past two weeks, you can probably expect that around the neighbourhood."

"Your house isn't fair from our estate," Sebastian pointed out at once. "If they set up a security zone around there, it would inevitably overlap with our own."

"You would also continue attending school, wouldn't you?"

"Yes. That's more than half the reason why we are coming back," I told Naoren, and his brows descended into a deep frown.

"Would these 'Praetorian Guards' attempt to safeguard you even during those hours?"

"I presume so." There was another comment on the tip of my tongue about how Sebastian infected him with the air-quote virus, but I swallowed it down and focused on the core of his question instead. "I'm planning to talk to the arch-mage to get ahead of any misunderstandings."

"When?"

Looking back at Sebastian, I had to think for a moment. "Before we return to the island. Definitely."

"I recommend you do so as soon as possible," Naoren advised me with one hand on his glasses. "Lord Amadeus Endymonion has been cooperative during the past weeks, and it's best we show our goodwill by informing him of this development ahead of time."

I locked eyes with him for a moment, but we weren't exactly in a hard disagreement, so I soon exhaled a hearty sigh of surrender.

"Fine. I'll visit the old bastard today and give him a heads up."

"My boy," Sebastian interjected sternly. "Watch your language. We are in private, but the arch-mage is still our associate. If anyone were to overhear us, calling him a 'bastard' could easily lead to a diplomatic incident."

"Not really," I shrugged and rose to my feet. "The old man knows there's no love lost between us."

"We are more worried about the public's opinion on the matter," Naoren added, and I could hardly retort.

"That's something I never really bothered with."

"We noticed." Sebastian's lips bent into a sardonic smile. "If you did, you wouldn't have openly associated with the most infamous and mysterious Abyssal agitator of our day."

"What can I say? When life gives you lemons, you make—"

"A scandal?" Naoren jested.

"I wanted to say 'lemonade', but that works too," I shot back, and then theatrically limbered up my shoulders. "Thanks for the tea."

"Don't even mention it."

"Let's just hope that next time, we can have a drink under less 'secretive' circumstances," Sebastian added, and began cleaning up the table. In the meantime, Naoren kept staring at me, as if waiting for a magic trick.

"So? How are you going to leave this time?"

"Hm? Oh, don't worry about that," I said with a dismissive wave of my hand. "I left right after we finished talking about Lord Grandpa."

Naoren and Sebastian both looked at me funny for a second, but then the bespectacled clan head let out an awe-struck hum.

"No matter how many times I see it, I can't tell your illusions apart from the real you."

"It's definitely impressive," the old dragon piled on the compliments.

"Not to mention, convenient!" I brushed them off with a toothy smile. "Goodbye for now."

With that, I disappeared from the Dracis mansion and subsequently reappeared in Lord Grandpa's house. I didn't plan to do this today, but I already had other things to take care of here, so I figured I would hit two birds with one stone and get all of it out of my system in one go. I could've shown up right next to my first target, but I didn't want to startle her, so I Phased to a nearby door and then knocked on it.

"It's, like, open!" Without further ado, I pressed down on the door handle, and the incognito arch-mage on the other side opened her eyes wide. "Ohmygosh! Leonard! What are you doing here?"

I put a finger in front of my mouth and then closed the door behind me before turning to Sahi again. We were inside the small library of the mini-mansion. It was a large, open room filled with the musk of aged paper, and the cases lining the walls were packed to the brim with various tomes, both old and new, comprising the old badger's personal collection. Sahi was sitting at a reading table in the middle, with a couple of books laid out in front of her. She was wearing casual clothes under a formal (if currently slightly dishevelled) purple robe and had her hair done up into a messy bun, probably so that it wouldn't get in her way while taking notes.

"I figured I would drop by and ask how things are going," I spoke light-heartedly and walked over to her side.

"Like, you should've warned me you're coming!" the old lady in the body of the teenager fumed while her hands were busy trying to fix the mess in front of her. "I must totally look like a dweeb right now!"

"Does it matter?"

"I'm, like, a girl! It totally matters!"

"Aren't you a bit too old to care for appearances?"

"I'm young at heart! And body! The only things that matter!" she responded with a provocative smirk, but then her hands stopped. "Like, I feel like a total ditz for only asking this now, but what are you doing here?"

"I just said I came by to ask how things are going. Did you find a solution to that problem with the mirroring enchantment you talked about the last time?"

"Huh? Yeah. I think I got it. It just, like, has to be reinforced by a few buffer enchantments to alleviate the stress on the main array, and…" She paused, and for a moment I could see the conflict in her eyes, but in the end, she didn't insist on repeating the same question for the third time. "So, did you just drop by to chat with little old me?"

"Partly. Since I'm here, I'm also planning to have a discussioon with Lord Grandpa."

"Like, about what?"

"About coming back to Timaeus."

"But, like, aren't you already here?"

I stifled a chuckle and told her, "No, I mean 'officially'."

It was only after I said it that I realized that I used air quotes on the last word. Dammit. This always happened whenever I spent more than ten minutes around Sebastian.

But putting my grumbles aside, Sahi quickly realized what I meant, and looked at me expectantly.

"Does that mean that you're finally returning from the Elysium?"

"Yes."

"Like, for good?"

"That's the plan."

"Are the kids coming home with you too?"

"If you mean Josh and Angie, sure."

"That's totally wicked! Should we throw you, like, a welcome party?"

I shook my head and tapped on her notes.

"I would appreciate it if you focused on this instead."

"I totally do, okay? Gosh, Leonard, you're such a slave driver…" After griping for a bit longer, her eyes lit up again and she pointed an ink-stained finger at me. "Wait. I almost forgot to ask, but is the ninja girl also coming back with you?"

How come everyone was looking forward to her return more than mine, I wondered?

"Yes. Why?"

"Like, I want to give another look at the enchantment on her sword. I asked Lord Ambrose, and like, he's a major pain in the butt, but his personal library is totally awesome, and he said he'd let me borrow some totally ancient East-Asian magic scrolls in his collection that could maybe sorta give me a chance to totally crack the code on that sword!"

"Yeah, it's a tricky enchantment."

My agreement made her lips part into a huge grin, and she was just about to continue when the same door I came from opened again.

"Who are you…?" The class rep started with a question even before entering the room, but then she froze up when she saw me. "What… are you doing here?"

"Hi," I greeted her with a wave, and after the first shock passed, she glanced around outside before closing the door, locking it from the inside, and then putting up some kind of magical barrier on top of it.

"Leo!" she exclaimed the moment the spell was done and she walked over to my side with stomping steps.

"Uh-oh. I know that look," I said in mock horror, causing the brown girl next to me to giggle uncontrollably. "What did I do this time?"

"You mean, besides showing up here without even bothering to soundproof the room first?" she asked back, one hand already on her glasses.

"To be fair, I can't do that myself."

Ammy stared daggers at me for a few more seconds, but seeing that it did not affect me, she soon gave up with a sigh.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting," I answered light-heartedly. "I'm also planning to say hello to your grandpa and give him an update to avoid any potential wars. You know, simple stuff."

"Hey? Have you heard that Leonard is coming back to the island?" Sahi wedged herself into the conversation with a devilish smirk, but the reaction she expected from the class rep was never meant to be.

"Yes, I have."

"Really?" I blurted out in surprise, and she tweaked her glasses at me.

"Mike's been a nervous wreck for days now because of it."

"Oh. Did Kane tell him about it?"

"Yes." Ammy let her hand down, but only to fold her arms and sternly ask, "And speaking of which, what is this thing about Angie being the second coming of the Celestial's leader? Wasn't that supposed to be Josh?"

"Wait, what?" Sahi muttered, but neither of us paid her much attention.

"Yeah, that was a miscalculation on my end. Turns out, Angie was Deus all along."

"Oh, great," she grumbled and closed her eyes. "As if Mike wasn't stressed out enough."

"It's not that big of a deal."

"It is though," she insisted and opened her eyes again. "If the Assembly learns of this, all hell will break loose."

"Actually, that's why I'm here," I noted, and Ammy's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"You can't be serious."

"What's the alternative? Angie plans to get a university education, so she would have to stay on the island for a few years, along with her bodyguards and whatnot. We can't exactly cover that up."

"University?" the class rep echoed me. "That doesn't sound like something she would want to do."

"She feels underqualified and wants to study statecraft, so that she could lead the Elysium properly."

"All right, now it does make sense." She paused for a moment, her expression slackening as if she just realized she forgot something important, and then hastily amended, "How are they? Are Josh and Angie safe?"

"Of course they are. Remember, I'm also over there."

"True, but," she began, but then she exhaled hard and added, in a softer voice. "Right. I guess so long as you're with them, they would be fine."

"Even without me, nobody in the Elysium would dare to lay a finger on Deus and her Justicar," I jested, but it only caused Ammy to frown again.

"Her what?" Sahi butted in again.

"Ask them when they're back. It's a funny story," I told her with an implied wink, and then turned back to the class rep. "Anyhow, I'm going to inform Lord Grandpa about the broad strokes, before the appearance of a whole bunch of Celestial honour guards would lead to a long chain of dumb misunderstandings culminating in magical Armageddon or something."

"Grandfather is currently in a meeting with the Assembly delegation."

"The more the merrier!" I exclaimed with a smile, mostly to hype myself up. "If they're all here, it means I don't have to explain everything a second time."

The class rep eyed me for a moment, and after some thinking, she gestured for me to follow after her.

"I'll take you there."

Huh. She was more agreeable than expected.

"We need to have a few words anyway. In private," she added, in a low voice.

"Have fun," Sahi waved to us as we departed and the class rep undid the semi-transparent barrier around the room.

I was wondering what this was about, but it only took a few steps' time for the class rep to turn a frowning gaze at me and ask, "Leo. Did you hand the documents I gave to you over to Mr. Peabody?"

Oh. So that's what it was about. Well, this was promising to be an awkward conversation, wasn't it…?

Part 3

The home of Lord Amadeus Endymonion of Timaeus was pretty big. Not nearly as humongous or lavish as the Dracis estate, but to be fair, few private buildings were. Nevertheless, it still had its fair share of shady nooks and crannies, seemingly purpose-built to have hushed discussions about private, secretive, or even borderline clandestine topics.

Yet, the class rep chose to cross-examine me in the middle of a well-lit hallway. Go figure.

"Do you mean the big box with all the records about your grandfather's homunculus research?"

"Yes," she told me flatly and stared at my face intently. "Did you?"

Sighing, I nodded.

"Guilty as charged," I jested with a weak smile, but she remained stern. "Oh, don't look at me like that! It was… well, maybe not an 'emergency' per se, but Peabody needed it."

"You promised to keep it safe."

"And it's still safe," I pointed out, for little apparent effect.

"I went through all that trouble to keep my secret hidden, and you just handed it over," she hissed at me flatly, and so I frowned back at her.

"Well, yes, in retrospect, I should've asked you about it first, but does it make a difference?" Her brows were hovering close to an outright glare, so I hastily clarified my point. "Listen, Ammy. Peabody already knew your secret, right?" I didn't continue until she reluctantly nodded. "And the only reason why you had to hide those documents away was to keep them out of the hands of Saahira and the rest of the Assembly investigators, so that they wouldn't figure out your identity, right?" This time, she nodded a bit more readily. "Well, she's not looking for them anymore, and your secret isn't that big of a deal, to begin with, so is there even a reason to get worked up about this?"

"My 'secret' is a big deal to me," she growled, and I raised my palms to forestall her.

"This is about as good an opportunity to discuss that as any," I cut her short and lowered my voice a little. "Let's take a step back and look at this whole 'homunculus business' objectively. Is it really something you should be worried about?"

"Leo, we already discussed this."

"Yes, but the situation has changed big time since then. Again, objectivity. We won't discriminate you, your boyfriend is already okay with it, and I already put a few gears into motion to fix this dumb 'homunculus aren't people' bullcrap in the Draconic Federation before I got caught up in this Celestial mess. Since the rest of the mundane world doesn't even know that a homunculus is a thing, you being one literally doesn't matter."

"The Draconic Federation isn't the whole World of Mystics," she argued back, and I had to stifle a chuckle.

"Come on, class rep. You do remember who you are talking to right now, right?" She didn't respond, so I let out a self-conscious sigh and lowered my voice even further. "I've already got the Draconic Federation to play along, I'm literally employing the majority of the Research Society, so I would like to see them try to disagree with my stance on the issue. As for the Celestials, you not only have me, but also Angie on your side, and if we say that homunculi are people, who's going to argue with us? That makes, what? Ninety percent of the 'World of Mystics'? Who's going to care about this again?"

"The Assembly. You're ignoring the Assembly," she insisted, though her gaze was much weaker than when I started.

"Oh, trust me, they'll fall in line if they know what's good for them." I followed that up with a sinister chuckle, but when she started glaring at me again, I hastily raised my palms once more. "It's a joke, class rep. A joke. Don't look at me like that."

"With your track record, I can't tell when you're joking," she told me in a deadpan voice, with an exasperated sigh on its tail. "I appreciate the sentiment, but even if you somehow changed the way homunculi are viewed across the whole World of Mystics, it doesn't change the fact that you disseminated the thing I gave you for safekeeping."

"But… I just explained…"

"Leo. I'm not talking about the practical consequences of my secret getting out. It's about the breach of trust," she insisted with a tweak of her glasses.

"I can apologize for that, but that cat's already out of the bag, so… yeah, telling you I'm sorry for not asking for permission is the best I could do under these circumstances."

She looked at me as if I just said something weird, but ultimately shook her head and told me, "I will overlook this transgression on three conditions."

"Hm? That's unexpectedly reasonable of you." Seeing that she was starting to glare again, I forcefully cleared my throat. "What I meant to say was, 'Please accept my apologies, and I will listen to your conditions without complaints'. Scout's honour."

This time, she rolled her eyes.

"I'll hold you to your words." Her response was followed by a short yet tense beat, and then her expression finally softened. "First, once you're back in Timaeus, be nice to Michael."

"When was I ever not nice to him?" I blurted out, but she remained steadfast.

"I told you he's been nervous ever since he learned that you are coming home. I just want you to reassure him."

"That's pretty tame as far as conditions go. Do you want me to do something more specific for him?"

She blinked, apparently not expecting this response, but she soon came up with something.

"In that case, can you take him back to Elysium? He said he always wanted to see it with his own eyes ever since he was a child, but he never had the chance."

"Riiight. He's a Malakim, so he probably wasn't allowed to go there."

"A what?"

"Stupid Celestial caste system crap. I'll do something about that too, but it's for later; I already have a lot on my plate," I answered on autopilot, only to then immediately frown. "Wait. Wouldn't that mean he never met Kane in person either?"

"His father?"

"Yeah, him," I nodded and my hand automatically rose to pinch my chin. "In that case, it would make it a family reunion as well. Do you want to come along?" The class rep's eyes opened wide and she uttered a flat 'What?', but I persisted. "That way, we can hit three birds with one stone; Mike gets to look around the Elysium, meet his family in the flesh, and you can introduce yourself in person."

"That sounds like a bad idea."

"Why?"

"I'm a Magi!" she exclaimed, raising her voice for the first time since we started discussing her 'conditions of forgiveness'. "Do you have any idea what they would do to me if they realized that?"

"Ammy. Look at me." I waited for her to meet my eyes, and then pointed at myself. "Polemos. Second True Archon. Remember?"

"But what if Michael's father…?"

"He already knows. Obviously."

"And he doesn't care?"

"Oh, he does. He asked for my opinion and everything." Ammy was getting more fretful by the second, so I let out a long breath and patted her on the shoulder. "Kane's a softie and loves his son, so you don't have to worry about a thing. That said, if you really don't want to go with Mike, I'm not going to force you. It's just an option to make things a little smoother."

"I'll… discuss this with Michael first."

"Good call." I smiled and took my hand off her. "So, what's the second condition?"

She blinked like a startled rabbit, but then she finally remembered that she was supposed to give me her ultimatum, and she hastily reassumed a stern demeanour.

"Right. I haven't told you yet." She paused and looked me deep in the eyes. "Leo. I can't stress this enough. Grandfather is currently in a meeting with the Assembly delegation. All of them. They are all arch-mages of their own Schools."

"I know that much."

She suddenly put both of her hands on my shoulders and inhaled deeply.

"Don't. Provoke. Them."

Blinking, I shrugged off her grasp and let out a soft chuckle.

"Oh, please. Have some faith in me."

"I do, but I also remember what happened the first time you met with Grandfather. Please, be polite."

"I'm… not sure I can promise that, but I'll try to be diplomatic."

"… I'll take it."

She exhaled in relief, as if she'd just overcome a huge hurdle.

"Last condition?"

"I want to join Mr. Peabody's team."

That last one was rather surprising, but in a good way.

"Done."

The class rep's face suddenly slackened, as if she couldn't believe her ears. Did she expect me to argue with her?

"Just like that?"

"To be honest with you, I was planning to ask you to join them from the beginning, but I didn't think you had an interest in the project. As far as I remember, you were more into ESPs and psychics."

"My thesis is still on latent non-conventional mystic abilities in the greater human population, yes, but in this case, I want to be there to make sure the research documents won't get leaked."

Despite my attempt to reassure her, she was apparently still worried about her secret, in spite of all logical reasons. That meant it might've been more of an entrenched emotional response than anything else, but I was sure that once I got around to fixing this whole homunculi-unperson-ing debacle, she would ease up about it. If being on the team gave her peace of mind, I had no reason to argue with her.

"You do that then. Anything else?"

"No. Those are my three conditions."

I flashed a grin.

"Easy-peasy."

She remained skeptical for a while, but at last, her body language relaxed and she readjusted her glasses for the last time and we started walking again.

"Why do you need a homunculus, anyway?"

"Hopefully I won't need it. It's more of a Plan F."

"F?"

"In case Plans A to E fail," I told her with a smirk, and she half-rolled her eyes at me.

"So Joshua wasn't joking." Before I could ask what she meant by that, she gestured for me to follow her into the basement, and as we went down the stairs, she started a new topic. "We're almost there. How much do you know about the Assembly delegation?"

"More than enough," I reassured her, though it didn't work.

"Let me guess. If I asked you how, you would smile mysteriously, and then tell me 'Information broker'."

"You're learning."

She didn't find my joke amusing, but didn't argue either, and just led me to a fancy door. I could hear muffled voices from the other side, though I couldn't discern any legible words. Did they forget to soundproof the room, or was it the effect of the soundproofing, I wondered as Ammy knocked on the door. There was no response, yet after waiting for a few seconds, she reached for the doorknob and opened it anyway.

"Grandfather?" Contrary to her decisive attitude, her voice was unexpectedly mousy. "You have a visitor."

"At this hour?"

Through the gap, I could recognize Lord Ambrose's voice, grumbling as usual.

"I'll take it from here," I said and put my palm on the door.

The class rep stiffened up for a moment, but she quickly shook it off and locked gazes with me.

"Don't antagonize them," she whispered, and I showed her a reassuring smile in return before pushing the door open and walking in, much to the gathered arch-mages' surprise and shock.

I was already familiar with the small meeting room (more of a parlour, really) thanks to my Far Sight, and the same was true for the people sitting around the divans surrounding the fancy coffee table in the middle. Despite the location, the air in the room wasn't stale at all, but on the flip side, the concentration of ambient mana prickled my skin like I was wearing a woollen sweater over my whole body. It was only a small annoyance at best though, and pretty mild compared to being in the vicinity of, say, a Mana Well.

In any case, I waited for the class rep to follow, but she closed the door behind me instead. I thought she would want to make sure I was on my best behaviour, but she seemingly thought otherwise.

"Leonard?" Lord Grandpa, sitting at the head of the table (as much as such a thing applied here) uttered in mild disbelief, and I turned to face him.

"Good evening." I looked over the group scattered on the divans and gave them a collective nod. "Please excuse me for showing up unannounced at this hour. Oh, and there's no need to stand on ceremony; you know who I am, I know who you are, so let's cut to the chase and talk business right away."

"Hold on for a moment!" Lord Ambrose suddenly exclaimed and rose to his feet. The portly Magi was wearing a formal robe, as usual, and his beard was unusually well-combed this evening. It didn't make his expression look any more welcoming though. "What are you doing here!? What kind of ploy is this!?"

"Easy there, old chap." Lord Gulliver extended a lanky hand and pulled the older man back into his seat. "Let Endymonion respond first. He's the host."

"Yes, I would very much prefer to do so," Lord Grandpa chimed in without rising from his seat. He was wearing his usual beige suit, though without the Panama hat, and he wasn't exactly amused by my sudden appearance. "However, considering the circumstances, I am afraid I can only echo the previously spoken sentiment of Lord Ambrose."

"About what I'm doing here?" I walked over to the side of the table and shrugged upon arrival. "Lots of things happened since the last time I contacted you, and since I was in Timaeus, I decided to drop by and give you an update to avoid any potential misunderstandings."

"We were all under the impression that you couldn't leave the realm of the Celestials." I turned my head to the source of the comment, and Lord Taika matched my gaze with her own. "That makes me question whether you're here in the flesh."

"Who knows?" I jested with a smirk, and after a suitably long beat, I stifled a chuckle. "Seriously though, I'm here. For real."

"Are you?" Lord Grandpa stared at me incredulously, so I nodded at him.

"Yes. Well, not 'officially', at least not yet, but that's half the reason why I'm here."

"Before we proceed any further," Lord Barnabas interjected with a measured voice and gestured at the empty spot next to him. "Would you like to take a seat?"

"No need. I'm not planning to stay for long," I refused his offer as politely as I could and then turned a glance at Lord Taika again. "Please stop that."

She had two faces at the moment; one was stock still and semi-transparent, while underneath that, she was constantly muttering the verbal component of a spell. When our gazes crossed, the real face's mouth hung open for a second, but then she averted her eyes, and the magical feeler she was inching closer to me dissolved into ambient mana, along with the illusory mask covering her face.

"Thank you." I turned back to Lord Grandpa. "Where were we?"

"There was a mention of your presence here not being official," Lord Barnabas chimed in, and I nodded along.

"Not yet," the old badger at the head of the table echoed my previous words, his eyes in squints and his mouth set in a thin line. "Correct me if I am wrong, but would that mean that you would soon return to the city in an official capacity?"

"You're unusually quick on the uptake." I flashed an impressed smile, though he must have thought I was making fun of him, because he continued to squint at me. "Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to discuss. You see, I'm coming back rather sooner than later, and we need to make some arrangements beforehand."

"Bah!" Lord Ambrose exclaimed and would've risen to his feet again if not for the gangly redhead still holding onto his shoulder. "Then what was that whole tirade at the Draconians' meeting about? Do you take us for fools!?"

"Well, no, not all of you," I responded reflexively, and when everyone remained dead silent, I opened my arms wide. "Oh, come on, people! I promised that I would be polite, but when you serve me an easy ball like this, can you really expect me to just ignore it?"

"Hooold on. Is this when he's polite?" Lord Gulliver exclaimed, and the host let out a lung-rattling sigh.

"I am afraid that is correct."

"Yes. I'm very polite right now," I insisted before they could derail the discussion and, feeling a little conscious about my outstretched arms, I folded them and pointedly looked at Lord Ambrose. "Since I already addressed your second question, let me do the same to the first one. Long story short, the political landscape of the Elysium got even more shaken up since the last time we talked, but that's something I have to deal with on my end and doesn't concern you. Before I get into what does though, let's make sure we're all on the same page. How much do you know about what's going on in the Elysium?"

The arch-mages shared a few hesitant glances, and in the end, it fell on Lord Barnabas's shoulders to speak up.

"We have received news that a certain Celestial leader of old returned to life."

"Wait, you've already learned of that?" I blurted out in surprise, and he solemnly nodded.

"So it is true then," Lord Grandpa followed him up with a deeply troubled furrow in his brows. "I believe he is called the Second True Archon."

"Oh, false alarm then," I muttered, feeling relieved for the moment. "I thought you were talking about the newest development."

"Are you implying there is one even newer?" Lord Taika chimed in from the side.

"Yeah, that one's old news," I confirmed, and then added, with considerably more trepidation. "Also, would you please stop playing around?"

She stiffened again and undid the illusion hiding her attempts to do… something with a small box that superficially looked like an old, homemade camera obscura. I was pretty sure she wasn't trying to make a retro photograph of me though, considering the soft magical glow around the tool.

"Fascinating," she whispered, completely disregarding the bucketful of disapproval I was throwing her way.

"Eh, it's not that big of a deal," Lord Gulliver interjected, sounding completely unperturbed by the revelation. "We're always behind in the intelligence game, aren't we?"

"That may be, but the information about this Second True Archon cost us much," Lord Grandpa responded with a heavy voice.

"Oh boy…" I muttered softly, drawing everyone's attention back to me. "I really hope it wasn't one of those 'many Bothans died to bring us this information' situations, because otherwise, this is going to be really awkward."

Saying so, I turned on my Leoformer, and shifted over to my Celestial disguise, causing everyone else in the room to shudder, jolt, or outright jump in alarm.

"You see," I began, opening my arms a bit. "When I said 'you know who I am' at the beginning, I wasn't entirely truthful. At the moment, I'm also known as Polemos, The Second True Archon. Or rather, his second advent, but let's not split hairs about the small details."

"… Since when?" Lord Grandpa uttered in a numb voice, seemingly echoing everyone's thoughts.

"Since a bit over two weeks ago," I told him the truth, but he looked eminently skeptical of my claim. "Oh, stop it. You act like you don't know how these titles keep sticking to me like flies to the glue-paper."

"I knew it! He's a Celestial!" Lord Ambrose exclaimed and nearly shook off Gulliver's hand. "Unhand me! Where's my staff?"

"You see, that's kind of the thing though. I'm not," I told them, and the old man immediately stopped struggling.

"You're not?"

"No. It's a pretty complicated situation, and I don't want to go into the nitty-gritty details, but that's the long and short of it. I give my word on that. Take it, or leave it."

My words were followed by a long stretch of silence, where none of the arch-mages wanted to be the first to break the ice. Ultimately, the dark-skinned arch-mage resolved himself to speak up and he lightly cleared his throat.

"I must ask; why are you telling us about yourself? Wouldn't it have been more advantageous for you to keep this a secret?"

"You see, the problem is that I can't do that." I turned off the Leoformer, and once I was back to my white ensemble, I crossed my arms again. "I'm not planning to announce this officially to the whole world, but it's something that you absolutely need to know to understand the rest of the situation. First off, I'll be bringing along a small group of Celestial honour guards. I'm going to keep them on a short leash, but they are going to be operating in the open, so I'd appreciate it if you could just ignore them altogether."

"You can't expect us to overlook something like that!" Ambrose continued to heckle me, and this time even Lord Gulliver seemed to agree with him.

"That's a bit of a tall order, young chap."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with—"

Even Lord Barnabas was on their side, so I hastily raised my hands and interrupted him.

"I know that after all this time, trying to crack down on Celestials should be second nature to all of you, but I'm afraid this is non-negotiable. We both want to avoid this turning into a diplomatic incident, right?"

"Speak for yours—!"

Before the bearded arch-mage could finish, Gulliver clamped a hand around his mouth and sent an unsubtle glance at Lord Grandpa.

"When you refer to the situation being 'non-negotiable', what exactly do you mean by it?"

I faced him and counted to three in my head to re-balance myself. I promised to be diplomatic, so I was going to do this diplomatically.

"It means it's going to happen, one way or the other, but it doesn't have to lead to a conflict. We have alternatives."

"Alternatives?" Lord Barnabas latched onto the word at once. "My friend, please elaborate."

"As you wish. The first option is that you stay put and don't interfere with these Celestial bodyguards. It doesn't require anyone to do anything, there's no hassle, and everyone's happy, in a manner of speaking. Alternatively…" I paused to take a deep breath, and my voice automatically descended by an octave. "Alternatively, I would be forced to make it so that you can't interfere with them. It's heavy-handed, a lot of hassle, and you certainly won't be happy about it, but the end result is the same."

"Are you threatening us?" Lord Ambrose hissed through the fingers over his mouth, and I immediately shook my head.

"Oh, goodness, no. I'm being polite right now." I used both of my hands to point index fingers at Lord Grandpa, and added, "Ask him, if you don't believe me. He knows what I sound like when I'm threatening someone. Isn't that right?"

I flashed my most disarming smile at the group, and it only took three seconds for the old coot to exhale a groan.

"Fine. You have made your point," the local arch-mage spoke through clenched teeth and raised a hand to massage his face. "I swear upon my name that neither the Timaeus School of Conjuration and Alteration, nor any of its esteemed guests will restrict the actions of these honour guards you spoke of, so long as they do not initiate a conflict themselves."

"Lord Endymonion, with all due respect, I don't believe you have the right to speak for all of us," Barnabas pointed out, causing Lord Grandpa to scoff.

"This land is under my jurisdiction, old friend. I believe I have all the rights and justifications to do so."

"This is getting out of hand!" Lord Ambrose exclaimed once he finally shook Gulliver off. "Lord Taika! Say something!"

"Hm?" As if waking from a daydream, the lady arch-mage lazily blinked at the old man, then turned to me and held out both her hands. "Young man? May I ask which of these is more visible to you?"

There were two softly glowing wireframe icosahedrons (or as better known, d20 dice) floating over her palms, and after a glance, I blandly told her, "The left one."

"The left? Not the right one?" When I shook my head, she let out an impressed hum and smiled at me. "Maybe coming to this island wasn't such a waste of time after all…"

"Lord Taika! Don't cavort with the—!"

For the third time, Lord Ambrose was restrained by his leggy colleague, and Lord Gulliver flashed a toothy smile at me.

"Please excuse him. He didn't have his afternoon nap, and that always makes him a bit grouchy."

"Who are you calling grouch, you lout! Unhand me at once!"

While the two grown men continued to wrestle on the divan, the dark-skinned man buried his face in his palm.

"We are not showing ourselves in our best light today."

"Don't worry, I'm already used to this," I told him off-the-cuff, yet it only seemed to make his complexion worse. Turning back to Lord Grandpa, I gave him an approving nod, and added, "Thanks for your cooperation. There are a few more things you need to know though."

"As in?"

"Do you remember Angie?"

"… The young Celestial in your close circle, if I recall," he responded slowly, visibly guarded and bracing for whatever was coming next. "She, along with Joshua Bernstein, has been absent from the school for the past two days."

"Yes, about that…" I paused, considering how to break the news to him, and ultimately settled on the band-aid school of thought. "The thing is, it turns out she's Deus."

"… As in, the god of the Celestials…?" Barnabas muttered in a daze, and I shook my head with a grimace.

"Nooot quite 'god' per se, more of an ancient cult leader kind of deal, but you're in the right ballpark."

"Hold on," the dark-skinned arch-mage raised a palm to stall me, his face deadly serious. "You claimed that you were taken to the realm of the Celestials to resolve their internal division. Now that their god… cult leader returned, you're returning to the island. Does that mean that Celestials are now united?"

I couldn't stop myself from laughing, even if I tried. Which I didn't.

"Hah! Fuck no!" After reining in the first wave of guffaws threatening to overwhelm me, I wiped the corner of my eyes and took a deep breath. "Haaa… Please excuse my language, but seriously, I wish that was the case."

"Why… are you telling us this?" Lord Grandpa looked at me like I was a ghost or something.

"Hm? Because she's coming home with me. Obviously," I told them, and their expressions looked like I just dropped the biggest bombshell of their lives.

"She's coming here?" Barnabas muttered in a daze.

"For what reason?" the old badger followed him up, looking unusually intense.

"To attend school. Why else?" I told them flatly, and I elaborated a little when nobody responded. "She wants to get higher education before returning to the Elysium."

"Wait. Please, hold on. One thing at a time, please," Lord Grandpa practically begged me, one palm extended towards me and the other roughly massaging his temple. "She is planning to continue attending the institute?"

"If you mean Blue Cherry High, then yes, we're naturally going to do that. That's why I needed to tell you about the honour guards, because they would necessarily have to enter the campus with us to ensure her safety. Or, well, it's not like she really needs protection, because you would have to be the epitome of a smooth-brained madman to even consider laying a finger on her, but you know what I mean." Pausing, I looked the arch-mages in the eyes, one at a time, and then added, "I'm telling you all of this to avoid any silly potential situations where she would get 'accidentally' hurt or otherwise inconvenienced because the Assembly had no idea how important she was. Just imagining all the madhouse and mass hysteria and rivers of blood resulting from that is giving me a headache, so please cooperate with us so that she can have a nice, productive school life without any hiccups of catastrophic proportions."

I crowned this small speech with my best 'Trust Me Bro™' brand smile, but nobody seemed to be receptive. Oh well, you can't win them all.

"Anyhow, that was all I wanted to tell you today. Thank you for your time, and if you excuse me, I just remembered that I forgot to ask Amelia if I could borrow her school notes, so I think I have to go. Please keep what I said in mind, and nobody will get hurt. Bye."

And just like that, I turned on my heels and marched out of the silent room. I had to say, I was pretty proud of myself. I wasn't sure I would be able to keep my promise, but all things considered, I remained very civil and polite all the way through, without any need for intimidation. Good job, me.

    people are reading<The Simulacrum>
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