《The Privateer》Chapter 143: Soul Gaze
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The Last Hope of Those Who Were Betrayed sat brushed up against the Spire in the center of City 43. The ship was an inverted diamond, or at least it used to be. A fifth of the ship was missing, destroyed by a bomb the humans had detonated in an attempt to keep the Lucendian ship out of pixen hands. The living crystal that composed the Hope's hull could not be repaired by traditional means, but the ship was healing.
The Last Hope hadn't seemed that large in space. A mere eight hundred meters across, smaller than most battlecruisers. She looked a lot bigger on the ground. The top of the ship came to a point a full kilometer above Yvian, nearly a third of the height of the Spire itself.
A dozen crystal obelisks formed a rough semi-circle around the Hope. The space between the Spire and the nearest buildings stretched just over a kilometer, and the Hope had been forced to place them between structures. The obelisks were half again as tall as the ship, and almost as damaged. They were barely sentient, and mostly served as assistants and amplifiers to the Last Hope, but Yvian was pleased to see they were healing as well.
Yvian had expected to find Skygem docked inside the Last Hope, but the smaller vessel had chosen to park in such a way that her nose was nestled between her mothership and the Spire. The smaller Lucendian ship was the same length as the Encounter. Ninety meters. It looked like a short four sided crystal pyramid had been fused to a long four sided crystal pyramid. Like the Last Hope and the Spire, the crystal looked clear and sparkly, but was opaque enough Yvian couldn't see through it.
A small group of people stood in front of the Skygem. Two humans, two Peacekeeper units, and eight pixens. Yvian was surprised to see them chatting so amiably. Pixens were taught to fear humans from an early age, a reputation that was only enhanced by exposure to Mims. She'd been expecting the pixens to stand as far away from the scientists as they could get, but she'd underestimated Dr. Yuriko Miner. As Yvian watched, Yuriko draped her arm over one of the pixen women, saying something that made the entire group burst into laughter.
"Are you sure you're alright with this?" Lissa sounded concerned. She must have seen the look on Yvian's face. "I've got eight assistants here. You don't have to-"
"I'm fine," Yvian cut her off. She took a breath and squared her features. "It'll be fine."
Yvian braced herself as her group closed in, but the other pixens barely reacted to her presence. Instead they stared at Scathach and Scarrend. The Vrrl towered over the rest of the group, nearly three meters of muscle and fangs and claws. Even knowing they were allies, Lissa's chosen assistants couldn't help but react with fear.
Scarrend chuckled. "Softpaws."
"Do not insult our allies," Scathach chided. "Did you forget the reading the Scargiver just assigned?"
"No, Warmaster." Scarrend spoke quietly, chastened.
"See that you don't," the Warmaster warned, keeping his voice low so the other group wouldn't hear. Then he spoke louder. "Fear not, Citizens of Pixa. I am Skell Scathach, Third Warmaster of the Vrrl Starfang Empire. This is Scarrend Scathach, Ambassador to Pixa. We are here as friends. No harm will come to you so long as we draw breath."
The humans and pixens looked at each other. Dr. Laswell stepped forward. "That's... good to know. I'm Dr. Laswell." The Lead Scientist introduced the rest of the group, but Yvian was no longer paying attention. The other pixens were looking at her, now. One of the males was glaring, but the rest looked more awkward than hostile. More importantly, Yuriko was staring at her. Yvian tried for a smile and gave her a wave. Dr. Miner waved back, biting her lip.
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Once the introductions were over with, Lissa took charge. "Alright, we all know why we're here. These ships," she gestured at Skygem, "are the last of their kind. The final legacy of the Lucendians. You, all of you, have been chosen to be their caretakers. To protect them. To use their power to protect the Technocracy. These ships are the only known defense against the Vore, and our greatest weapon, but they aren't just tools. They're alive. They're people. Citizens of Pixa just like you. If any of you don't want the responsibility, if you think it's too much, speak now."
Silence. Lissa waited a beat, then gave a sharp nod. "Good. We're going to have you stay outside the Skygem for now. The three of us," she gestured at herself, Yvian, and Mims, "will go in, and then a Crystal Guardian will come out. Don't panic when you see it. The Guardian is the one who will give you the Lucendian implants. Are there any questions?"
Again there was no answer. Again Lissa gave a nod. "Alright. The Peacekeeper units are in charge while we're in the Skygem. If something happens to them, Scarrend and Warmaster Scathach will take charge. Is everyone ready?"
There was a muttered assent from the pixens, and shouted assent from a very excited Yuriko. Lissa nodded one more time. "Alright. We're going in."
The Skygem opened her airlock at a touch from Yvian. A bubbling happy welcome washed over her as she stepped inside. Judging from Lissa's smile, she felt it too. Mims remained stone faced. As the door closed, the three of them donned their helmets. As usual, Skygem shunted the breathable air and replaced it with a mix of methane and other gases. It was the atmosphere the Lucendians had once breathed.
Yvian had spent a lot of time with Skygem. The wide expanse of her main deck was almost as familiar as the Encounter. The airlocks weren't visible when they were closed, but she could place them by the ramps located two meters to either side. The ramps led to the upper decks, former living quarters that were now filled with generators to feed the ship. At the back of the ship was an alcove. Inside the alcove was the Guardian.
The Guardian was roughly pixenoid in shape, with a curved featureless crystal for a head. It was three meters tall, two meters wide, and its four digits ended in needle points. The thing weighed several tons and was even more dangerous than it looked. Even now, knowing the creature saw her as a friend, Yvian was afraid to get too close.
"So how do we want to do this?" Lissa's question snapped Yvian back to reality. She was at the front of the ship, near the communion nodes. "All together?"
"Let's not," said Mims. "Having a ship inside my head is weird enough. I don't think I could handle feeling your minds, too."
"You're just scared to let me look in your head," Lissa teased. She wrapped an arm around his waist. "You're right, though. It's weird. We'll go one at a time." She stopped smiling at the man long enough to smile at Yvian. "You want to go first, Sis? Skygem likes you best."
"You just want more time to snuggle," Yvian accused.
"So?"
Lissa's grin was contagious. Especially with Skygem broadcasting a constant stream of joy and excitement. Yvian chuckled. "I guess I'll go first."
Lissa's grin widened. "Thanks, Sis."
There were three chairs at the front of the ship. In front of the chairs were the Communion Nodes. One red, one blue, and one green. Yvian had learned the colors didn't matter, but she always picked the blue one. It was the prettiest. She sank into the chair and reached out, connecting her soul to the ship.
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Yvian! The ship didn't communicate in words, but in the series of impressions, images and feelings it associated with Yvian. Yvian didn't know much psychology, but she suspected it was pure thought without a language structure. Whatever it was, Skygem had a way of communicating that Yvian could understand better than she understood the spoken word. Happy to see you!
A cascade of concepts and images flooded into Yvian's soul. Mother is here! Mother is hurt. Mother is spawning! Shard is with mother. Shard is with Skygem! Skygem is happy! Sunlight tastes good! Yvian felt her body smile as she took it all in. The crystal ship babbled for what felt like several minutes, but was probably much less in real time. Yvian shared the ship's joy, letting hope and love and happiness wash through her battered psyche.
When Skygem finally started to wind down, Yvian touched on why she'd come. She'd communed with the ship enough times to learn the knack of translating her words into ideas the ship could understand. Happy to see you too! Here with Lissa and the Sad Man. Need your help to make more friends for you!
More friends? The ship sent an image of the people standing outside. These? You want these to have communion?
Yes, said Yvian. Lissa and the Sad Man and I have to go fight Xill. The crystal ship shuddered at the idea of the Xill. Dangerous. Need friends to help you in case we die.
Some friends, said the ship. Some not. You don't know them.
I'm only asking for these two. Yvian sent her impression of Dr. Laswell and Dr. Miner. Everything she knew and everything she felt about them. There was no point trying to hide any of it. With their souls merged, Skygem could not be deceived.
The ship mulled over Yvian's memories. Hurt mother. Helped mother. Loved you. Hurt you. Complicated and not all good but not evil. You think and hope they will be good friends. Jewel of the Sky does not trust them. Let Jewel of the Sky ask Mother.
Skygem's soul reached out to the Last Hope of Those Who Were Betrayed. Yvian felt them connect, but it was a vague, distant thing. Yvian pulled back from the connection just enough to use her body to tell Mims and Lissa what was happening. By the time she'd finished speaking, Skygem had an answer.
Mother wants to speak with the humans. Not sure if friends, but will give communion. Send them to Mother when it is done. Yvian's body felt the vibrations as the Crystal Guardian started to move. What about others?
I was only asking for those two, said Yvian. Lissa and the Sad Man will talk to you next. They will tell you about the others.
Don't want to talk to Sad Man, said the ship. Sad Man hurts.
Surprised, Yvian's soul blurted. Why does Sad Man hurt?
Everyone hurts some, the ship told her. Skygem sent Yvian an impression of a mind. With a start, she realized it was her own. It was too much at first. It took Yvian a full minute to begin to process what she was feeling. Happiness and hope were on the surface, along with fear and determination and love. Thoughts and feelings swirled together, merging and overlapping and connecting in ways she would never have guessed.
Yvian sank deeper. She saw pain. Traumas of the past. Her mother. Her father. Other things. Horrors she'd never tell another living soul. Some of the hurts had healed. Some never would. Mixed in with the wounds and psychic scars were moments and accomplishments she'd all but forgotten. Protecting her sister. Nursing Yasme back to health. The kindness of strangers and the thrill of young love. Failures and triumphs. Outrage at the unfairness of things. Loneliness and the quiet voice that told her she deserved it. All this and more she felt. It was... better than she'd expected. Yvian had never considered herself a happy person, but there was more hope and more love than she'd given herself credit for.
It hurts and it feels good, the ship explained. All squishy friends like that. Some hurt more. Some feel more good. Sad man hurt. Sad Man hurt too much.
It can't be that bad. He's a good man. Yvian thought the words to herself, but Skygem heard.
Look, said the ship. The memory of the Captain's mind pressed into Yvian. The top of it was exactly what Yvian expected. Discipline. Fear. Determination. Cold fury harnessed by an iron hand. A growing warmth of love and protectiveness for his small crew and two girls in particular. But below that...
"Yvian! Yvian, what's wrong!?"
Dimly, Yvian became aware of hands on her shoulders. Shouting in her ear. She pulled her soul back, put enough of herself in her body to feel her shoulders shaking and the wetness on her face.
"Yvian!"
"I'm alright," she gasped. "I'm alright. Don't come in here! I'm alright."
"You're weeping," said the Captain.
"I know." Yvian reassured him. "I know. Skygem's showing me... She's showing me something. It's important. Just... just give me some time." She didn't wait for an answer. She pushed her soul back into the ship, trying to make sense of the soul of the human.
Below the surface was... Oh, Bright Lady. So much hate. Loss. Guilt. A pain and a fury so great it could burn the stars themselves. All centered around a brief series of memories. A desperate fight. Hitting a Klaath Queenship with an asteroid mine at extreme speeds. The exultation of victory, and the final triumph as the last of the invaders was killed. The arrest. Learning the mine that killed the Queen had killed his world as well. The sudden shock when he realized he'd killed everyone he ever loved.
Yvian's small victories and moments of kindness were a source of comfort and strength, but for Mims... Every memory, every moment, was tainted. The love of his parents. The excitement of meeting his future wife. The laughter of his children. Forty years of life and love, all turned into a blackness that crushed him as surely as The Crunch crushes the unworthy. It was a wound that would never heal, a fire that would sear his soul forever. Mims had learned to harden himself, had papered over his pain as best he could, but he would never forgive himself. He would never forget.
Mims could not feel the damage at the core of his soul. Not all the time, at least. Skygem did. Skygem felt everything he was. The ship didn't hate Mims. She would help him if she could. That didn't make communion with him any less painful. Skygem didn't want to feel his soul if she didn't have to.
I understand, Yvian told her. I'm sorry.
No sorry. Not your fault. Not Sad Man's fault. The ship gave the emotional equivalent of a comforting hug. Jewel of the Sky is too young. Not strong enough for that much hurt. Mother is stronger. Mother likes the Sad Man. Mother is like the Sad Man. Lost too much. Failed when it mattered. Mother knows.
I'll ask the Sad Man to talk to Mother, Yvian promised, instead of you. Though that means I'll have to ask you to help his friends commune.
Jewel of the Sky knows. The ship sent an image. The Crystal Guardian was gripping a male pixen by the back of his head. Yvian felt the odd sensation as a piece of itself pierced the pixen's skull, gently melding itself into the man's brain. A slight popping as the piece of the Guardian detached itself. Jewel of the Sky is granting communion. But not to metal men. Cannot bond with metal men.
I know, said Yvian. Thank you.
Jewel of the Sky trusts Yvian. The ship sent a burst of concern. Yvian's soul needs rest. Should withdraw. Visit later. Jewel of the Sky has new friends to meet.
Ok. Yvian sent a mental hug. I love you.
Jewel of the Sky loves Yvian, too.
Yvian's body was still crying when she came back into it. She took a few moments to pull herself back together and let her helmet's cleaning function do it's thing. "Alr-" she coughed. "Alright. It's done. Everyone should be implanted."
"What the Crunch happened?" Lissa demanded.
Yvian got out of her chair and hugged her sister. "Don't let Skygem show you anyone's soul," she warned. "Not even yours." She reached for Mims.
He joined the hug. "Your soul?"
"What did you see?" asked Lissa.
"I love you. I love you both so much." Yvian squeezed them both. "And I will never, ever tell."
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