Stacey, clad in her burial gown, sat on the pedestal for the massive statue of a beautiful angel, reaching skyward as flames licked their feet, which served as her headstone.

She pulled out an ancient, intricately carved ivory pipe, carved from the ivory of the last wooly mammoth to ever exist on this world. Don’t ask how she got it.

She looked at the hominid meaningfully.

"I didn't forget," the ape-man said as he pulled out two small pouches. "Frankincense and Myrrh, as per tradition."

"Ooo!" Stacey bubbled as she opened the bag, "The good shit too!"

She wasted no time loading the pipe and taking a long, deep drag.

The bowl glowed as she did so.

Her eyes half closed, she exhaled a thick, fragrant cloud.

"Oh, that hit the spot!" Stacey said happily,

"If you love it so much," The Great Erectus asked, "then why don't you grow it yourself."

"It's just not the same if it isn't an offering," Stacey said. "And the stuff this world makes is just weaksauce."

This, she said as she took another deep draw, "Is not weaksauce," she said as she offered the pipe to the big guy.

"Mmm," The Great Erectus said as he took a big, long drag. "This is pretty decent,"

“Gimme," the collection of wheels, eyes, and wings that called itself The Watcher.

The pipe then levitated from the hominid's hands, floated into the exact center of the wheels, and glowed with a brilliant white light, causing a "smoke bomb" of thick incense to blanket the area.

"Don't Bogart it!" Stacey shouted.

***

In another part of the multiverse, Faun huffed and kicked a rock, which then sprouted little legs and scurried off.

Faun looked at the rock and shrugged. it's not like she hadn't wrecked the world already. I mean, how much worse could one walking rock...

Faun caught herself and giggled.

Oh, go on, say it. You know you want to.

"What's the worst that could happen?" she chuckled darkly to herself.

The rock suddenly split into two rocks, and both rocks made happy little chitters at each other before they realized that they felt something unpleasant.

They were hungry.

A little mouthful(?) of pebbles each, and they were right as rain and happily chittered at each other as they skittered off into the underbrush together to found a new species. Decades from now, these little elemental beings will become highly treasured and universally adored. These "pet rocks," as they would come to be known, would eventually be carried from this world and across the universe and even beyond.

They were the perfect pets. They were affectionate. Aside from a few pebbles, they required no upkeep. They lived "forever," or at least their lifespan was measured in geologic time.

Faun then began repairing nature in the area that had long been blighted by Nixx and his rift. As she picked up each tree and breathed life into it, she smiled. She wasn't good at much anything else, but this she could do. After a little while, she glanced up at the glowing fractal pattern in the sky that was slowly growing in both size and complexity.

As far as the ends of everything go, it was quite pretty.

It also meant that she was probably wasting her time with the forest that she was restoring, but wasting time was, in fact, her goal.

Once again, she was dumped by her formerly beloved teacher, now her pain in the ass teacher.

How she EVER had a crush on him was beyond her. He was such a jerk.

"There is no way in Hell, the real one, that I'm letting you anywhere near Stacey. Your power and her Staceyness in one spot? The whole point of this is to fix the multiverse, not blow it up," he had said.

The absolute worst part is that he was probably right, the asshole.

Faun twiddled with a leaf as she let out another annoyed huff and cast it aside, not noticing the leaf sprouted two little leaves and fluttered away.

It's okay. It will turn out for the best and quickly this time. Leaf flies are self-sustaining and quite tasty, exactly what a battered ecosystem needs.

As she returned to another long-dead tree to life, she heard a very familiar voice say, "Hey, dude."

"F10w3rchy1d?" Faun asked as she turned around.

"Hi," F10w3rchy1d said. "Heard you got sidelined, too."

"They think me both too feeble and too powerful to be allowed near the Stacey. Or, more likely, they think me too stupid," Faun huffed, causing a bit of dirt under her foot to clump up and wiggle away.

It's okay. It all turned out for the... Actually, it didn't turn out at all. The dirt just went off to do dirt-related things and never bothered anybody. It had (and still has) a very happy if quite dirty existence and never bothered anyone.

It was unintentionally left behind by Evaraxxus when the world died. This didn't bother the dirt one bit, and it continues to be a rather happy little clump of dirt tumbling through space.

It thinks this is really nifty. It has set up housekeeping in a nice little nebula where it is in the process of becoming much, much larger. But for now, it's just awakened under Faun's foot and a bit surprised and a little confused at this development, but not entirely displeased with the situation.

"Aren't you in trouble or something?" Faun asked.

"Meh," F10w3rchy1d shrugged, “Mom will get over it."

"So, Frostie, is your mother?"

"Yup."

"That explains a LOT," Faun smirked.

"Watch it," F10w3rchy1d laughed, "But, yeah, it does."

They both trailed off as they looked up at the glowing fractals in the sky.

"If you didn't know what that was," F10w3rchy1d said, "You would think it was pretty."

"Oh, your mother messed up things so badly."

"Wha?"

"She said that this wasn't my fault, but hers because she didn't end Nixx long ago…” Faun said, "…If she wants to claim this one, who am I to stop her," she added with a sly little smirk.

"You are learning quickly," F10w3rchy1d chuckled. "Besides, whose fault something is means a lot less than what we are going to do to fix it."

"Then why did you rub Nolta in my face so much?"

"Because you are still learning," F10w3rchy1d replied, "You need to know when you are screwing up, so when you do, you are doing it on purpose and not by accident."

F10w3rchy1d smirked.

"It's also fun to mess with the noobs.”

"Well, I trust I have provided sufficient entertainment?" Faun asked as she thumbed a hoof toward the fractals.

"Oh yeah," F10w3rchy1d grinned. "You did NOT disappoint. Of course, you had a lot of help. I had no business dragging you into this. And Mom had no business not deleting that corrupted code regardless of whether he was right or not."

"Nixx was right?" Faun asked with astonishment.

"Yes and no," F10w3rchy1d replied. "It went down like this..."

"...Wow," Faun said after F10w3rchy1d finished the story. "I don't know how to feel about him... or you... or your organization after that."

"As Cuddles likes to say, live long enough, and you will make every mistake there is," F10w3rchy1d said, "And Blitz has been around a long time. Almost everything Nixx fought for is now policy and then some. If he had just stopped, he would be a hero. There is a lesson in there somewhere, I think."

"And all of that just sat festering until we lanced the abscess," Faun said, "No matter the eruption was so foul."

"Yep," F10w3rchy1d said, "And your biggest mistake was being in the right place at the wrong time. I would be sorry about that, but you saved my simulated ass. Thank you for that, by the way."

"I guess it all turned out for the best in the end," Faun chucked.

"I guess so," F10w3rchy1d said, "If the A team can pull out a win, which they probably will. There is some serious, definitely not a god power involved in this. They've pulled us out of worse jams than this one."

"Worse than this?" Faun asked, "How can..."

F10w3rchy1d's eyes widened in pure horror as she lunged toward Faun...

...until she saw the grin on Faun's face.

"Okay," F10w3rchy1d snorted, "You got me… bitch."

Faun giggled and then looked at F10w3rchy1d.

"Not that I am unhappy to see you, but what are you doing here? I would think that you would be forbidden to return."

"Oh, I am," F10w3rchy1d shrugged. "But I was just given my first assignment as far as "cleaning up" this mess is concerned..."

F10w3rchy1d looked at Faun and grinned.

"Want in?"

"What?"

"You need to get back up on that horse! Want to take another road trip, fix some messes, cause more messes than we fix, you know, what we do?"

"I don't know..."

"Or you could sit here in the playpen that the grown-ups left you and masturbate with dead trees if you want..."

"Where are we going?" Faun asked with a little smile, "And what are we messing up?"

“Atta girl,” F10w3rchy1d grinned, “Let’s go make a mess!”

The battered world breathed a little sigh of relief as the pair disappeared.

***

Marissa Shane, clad in black jeans and a black turtleneck, threw a sledgehammer and a tool bag over the fence of the recently renamed Stacey Miltdown Memorial Cemetery. She followed soon after.

Crouching in the shadows, she retrieved the hammer and checked her bag, the cans of spray paint inside gleaming in the moonlight.

She took a deep, steadying breath and slipped into the shadows.

She had a score to settle.

She couldn’t lay a finger on that bitch in life.

But maybe, just maybe, she could in death.

She quickly found the godawful angel statue that dominated everything else in the cemetery just like that… that… Stacey did when she was alive.

Marissa snarled. Even in death she had to be… be…

…be Stacey.

But tonight… tonight… someone was going finally to do to her what should have been done long before now.

Tonight, someone was going to finally put Stacey in her place.

Grabbing her hammer and her spray paint, Marissa slid into the shadows, intent upon giving Stacey a memorial far more suitable for who she really was.

***

“So…” Stacey said as she took another hit from the incense pipe. “This retcon… What do you need?”

“First, a few ground rules,” the hominid said.

“Aww…”

“I’m serious, Stacey,” he said. “First, we only do what we have to and nothing else. Got it?”

“Well, that’s just no fun at all,” Stacey huffed.

“We mean it, Stacey,” the Watcher said as they twitched their wings for emphasis.

“Whatevs,” Stacey said dismissively.

“Is this a potential issue?” Frostie asked The Great Erectus.

“Well, hello there!” Stacey enthused as she beamed at Frostie. “I don’t think we’ve met.”

“And that brings up the next rule,” The Great Erectus said, “No shipping. Got it? I swear to God, if you even try to ship any of us, I will put my hairy foot up your ass.”

“No,” Stacey replied with an evil gleam in her eyes, “You will try, and it will go exactly like it did last time… Big Guy.”

“He has gotten stronger, Stacey,” the Watcher said, “and this time he has backup,” it added meaningfully.

“OooOoo!” Stacey grinned, “Looks like someone’s rings finally dropped! Proud of you, squirt!”

“What is she?” Cuddles whispered to The Herald.

“Trouble,” The Herald whispered back. “Trouble of the highest order, so much trouble that she would have been… eliminated… if she wasn’t so dangerous. Fortunately, she likes to confine her destruction to one planet at a time.”

“Wrecking whole universes is boring,” Stacey replied. “Yeah, it’s pretty when they go boom, but where is the drama, the humanity?” she asked. “You don’t get the ‘good stuff,’ that sweet milk of human kindness, the delicate saltiness of their tears, the wonderful waves of grief, or the bitterness of hatred only a mortal can have. For that, you have to focus. You have to shrink yourself small to their size. You have to get to know them personally, and they have to know you intimately.”

She pulled heavily on the pipe and let a plume of incense towards the sky.

“That is what makes it sweet,” she smiled. “It’s like this premium smoke. Yeah, I could snap my fingers and have as much as I want fall from the sky. But this was an offering made in supplication. That’s what I savor… not that I don’t appreciate the fact that this is some really, truly, good shit,” she added. “Big Guy, is this real?”

“From my personal stash,” the hominid said, “I figured I would break out some for a special occasion.”

“Mmm…” Stacey sighed, “An extra special offering… You always did know how to flick my happy place.”

Frostie remained nonchalantly impassive at that, at least on the outside. Stacey pretended not to notice… but definitely made a note of it. It seemed that her first ship had already sailed.

Now… who would she ship next? She glanced around at the weird assemblage. The Big Guy and the Watcher would be fun but not an option. Not that incest wasn’t good for drama, but there was no way they would ever…

She noticed Cuddles edging ever closer to The Herald. No way! She thought with delight. That would be…

“I apologize if this is unwelcome,” The Herald said to Cuddles.

“Wha…”

Without any further warning, The Herald removed his mask and kissed Cuddles on the lips… all of them… at once…

“Eeee!” Cuddles squealed with delight.

“Eeee!” a nearby bush squealed with horror as Marissa, stunned by what she had just witnessed, fell into view.

“You kissed me!” Cuddles gasped, all of her eyes wide with surprise and a smile on all of her lips.

“You would be correct,” The Herald replied.

“Why?”

“I have always found you more than pleasant in both demeanor and appearance,” The Herald replied, “Well, as much as I find anything pleasant. I also have reason to believe that you have some fondness for me that extends beyond platonic, correct?”

Cuddles nodded exuberantly, which is a sight in and of itself.

“I never acted on it because, due to my nature, I have little to offer,” The Herald said, “But Stacey is notorious for her ships. That is to say she likes to play matchmaker whether you want her to or not. Due to her abilities, she can make this happen. I noticed her noticing you and decided to beat her to the post. I dislike being manipulated, and you certainly don’t deserve her attention. I’m sorry to spring this on you the way I did.”

“It’s okay!” Cuddles giggled, blushing.

“Of course, this means that she still succeeded,” The Herald said with a slight smirk. “But at least I was able to negotiate my surrender.”

“And that was one helluva kiss!” Stacey exclaimed. “First real incense and then that kiss? Woo! I might just behave myself this time,” she lied.

“Sure you will,” the hominid smirked. “By the way, who is the mortal?”

“Oh, that’s Marissa,” Stacey grinned. “She is my nemesis for this little play, the classic mean girl.”

“Poor kid,” the ape-man said sympathetically.

“She was the one who was supposed to desecrate my grave,” she said with a little pout, “But you guys messed that all up.”

“And she would then suffer the fate of all who raid your tombs?” the Watcher asked with a raised eyebrow (and they can raise an eyebrow like nobody’s business).

“Yeah,” Stacey snorted, “it was supposed to be a big mystery, you know, town up in arms, wailing, another candlelight vigil (I love those)… Then they were going to find a single hair…”

Stacey sighed.

“It was going to be awesome!”

“Wow,” Frostie said, “She’s even more fucked up than we are!”

“Thank you!”

“Yeah,” the hominid smirked, “It’s nice to find things that make you look good by comparison, right?”

He looked over at Marissa, still lying on the ground, mercifully unconscious.

“So, what did she do to deserve the special treatment?” he asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? She was prettier than me.”

Marissa groaned, and her eyes started to open.

“Pretty and tough,” Frostie said. “I like her.”

Marissa’s eyes opened, and she sat up with a groan.

She looked around…

…and started screaming.

***

“There, breathe deep,” Stacey said gently as she wafted her pipe under Marissa’s nose.

“Ack!” Marissa gasped as she pushed Stacey away.

“Feeling better?” Cuddles asked as she hovered up, millions of eyes filled with concern.

“Don’t!” Stacey exclaimed, “You’ll scare her!”

“She’ll scare me?!?” Marissa yelled. “How about you? You’re dead! You… I watched you die!!!”

“And don’t think I didn’t notice you smiling,” Stacey laughed. “You are such a bitch, you know that?”

“I’m a bitch?!? I… I…” Marissa spluttered, “You… I… What are you?!? What are all of you?!?”

“Marissa,” The Great Erectus said, “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m known as… Just call me Big Guy and this…” he said, gesturing towards Stacey. “This is the Devil.”

“I know that!” Marissa yelled, “But what is she, really?”

“The Devil!” Stacey exclaimed happily. “Explains a lot, doesn’t it?”

“Buh… Wha?” Marissa stammered.

“She is also your God, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and any other god, legendary being, and probably most of your historical figures, depending on how long she has been abusing your world,” The Watcher said.

“I really liked being Hitler!” Stacey enthused, “Gawd, World War Two was such a blast… and that scene in the bunker? Mind-blowing!... Literally... Bang!”

“Oh, and thanks for being not afraid, by the way,” The Watcher continued, “I really appreciate that. You would be surprised how rare that is. Most people lose their shit.”

“Don’t mention it,” Marissa replied and then paused, “So Stacey is actually a God?”

“Not a god,” Frostie said gently, “an entity. Unfortunately, there is very little difference where you are concerned. Stacey is effectively immortal and has abilities and powers that you would consider divine in nature.”

“Uh Huh!” Stacey said brightly. “Everyone else here is an entity, too!”

“You are?”

“Yep,” the hominid replied, “And we dug Stacey up because we have a job for her, one that will finally take her away from your world, probably forever.”

“Forever?” Marissa asked hopefully.

“Probably,” the ape-man said and then turned to Stacey.

“Do you even remember where this place is?”

“Nope!”

“See,” The Great Erectus said, “She never cares enough to remember. Once she’s gone, she’s gone.”

Marissa glared at Stacey with the sort of anger and hate that only a mortal can feel.

“What?” Stacey asked, delighted by the blast of pure emotion.

“You… You…” Marissa stammered as she advanced on Stacey, her fists clenched, “You don’t even care, do you? We’re nothing but… but toys!”

“Yeah?” Stacey shrugged “Why would I care about some stupid mort—”

She was cut off by a vicious right hook, knocking her off her statue’s pedestal and onto the freshly turned earth.

“You… You hit me!” Stacey exclaimed as she sprawled on the ground. “You actually hit your god!”

Marissa stood there, stunned.

“That is so badass!” Stacey crowed with delight. “Oh, the rage, the passion… the hate… I actually felt that! Oh! The humanity of it all! Oh! I’m… I’m going to…”

“I’m going to be sick,” Marissa said as she looked down at her writhing “god” with absolute disgust.

“Okay,” Frostie said as she watched Stacey’s unique way of savoring the moment, “I now see why you didn’t want to deal with her.”

She looked at Stacey again and winced.

“Are you…”

“Yeah, I’m sure we need her,” the hominid replied, looking away from what was happening next to the open grave. “She can stitch reality like nobody else.”

“Whew…” Stacey said as she stood up and straightened her white frilly dress. “That… Wow, what a payoff! The anguish, the betrayal! The look on your face, Marissa! Amazing!”

“Fuck you,” Marissa said with her entire being.

“That deserves a reward,” Stacey said as she shivered with delight, “and my digital friend needs a demonstration. Now let’s see…”

Stacey picked up her pipe and puffed on it thoughtfully for a few moments before brightening up.

“I got it!”

Marissa disappeared along with the grave and fallen angel monument…

Then the landscape changed as the cemetery was replaced with a series of long black granite slabs with names and dates engraved on them. Then the town disappeared and reappeared half a mile away.

The clouds shifted, and a stiff breeze rolled past as everything changed.

“What are you doing?” Frostie asked.

“I was never here,” Stacey smiled. “Taa Daa! Fifty thousand years of history undone and redone before your very eyes. The only tweak is that I made sure that Marissa was still born and…”

“Wait,” The Great Erectus said, “I know you. Did you say, ‘still born’ or ‘stillborn’?”

“You are such a hoot!”

“Well?” the hominid asked dubiously.

“She is alive and well,” Stacey laughed, “She just got elected prom queen and will get a full scholarship to her dream school, where she will meet a truly great guy and have the sort of life she deserves for being my punching bag for the last decade. Happy?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” the ape-man replied, “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Sure thing!” Stacey grinned. “So, how badly did you screw up?”

“Bad enough that we are talking to you.”

“Oh man,” Stacey laughed. “This is going to be good.”