VII

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Arc VII Chapter 10

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Asami rubbed her chin, contemplating. Her newest enemy challenged her, ice cream flavours. So many choices and Asami had a hard time to decide. Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, orange, banana, cherry, pistachio ...

“Ahem.”

...

“Ahem.”

...

“Ahem!” The impatient shopkeeper cleared his throat.

Asami looked up. “Yes?”

The shopkeeper smiled. “I don't want to disturb you, but could you please hurry up. Other customers are waiting, and you are holding up business.”

Asami turned her head. A long row of people stood behind her. They looked impatient, but her dilemma continued, vanilla, or pistachio.

The shopkeeper fumed. “Hey, lass, didn't you listen ...”

Asami responded with a schooled glare, her purple shimmering eyes underscoring her point.“My friend, I am aware of your concerns, but selecting the right flavour of ice cream is a delicate affair, a matter of significant importance. Feel honoured, in fact, that I grace your minor establishment with my presence. A cone pistachio please.”

A happy girl got her ice cream. And it was even free. Asami savoured her cone. Today was a joyous day, a day to enjoy the small luxuries of life ...

A string of threads blocked her path, but they failed to kill her. The threads missed her, but they decapitated her ice without mercy.

Her eyes cried, and Asami mourned her loss. Her ice cream ...

Hidan clicked his tongue. “Kakuzu, are you sure it is her?”

Kakuzu retracted his threads. “Absolutely, Hidan.”

“...” Asami glared at her offenders, recognising their coats, recognising the patterns. They were responsible for this grave injustice. These bastards decapitated her ice cream! “Who are you?”

Hidan grabbed his scythe. “I will kill you, you little fucking bitch ...”

Kakuzu grabbed Hidan. He sensed the danger. Absurd amounts of chakra saturated the air. Purple spheres manifested. They meant trouble. He used Hidan as cover, as efficient cover, as immortal cover.

The girl hit hard, harder than Deidara. Her explosion cleaved a corridor through the town inconsiderate of civilian casualties. He miscalculated, urban terrain didn't limit her capabilities.

His body got hurled across the air, but Hidan volunteered to take the brunt of the blast, an unpleasant experience.

Kakuzu kissed the ground. He decided to lie low and observe for the time being.

“What the fuck was this, Kakuzu? Do you want to kill me, or what?” Hidan grumbled. His coat was shredded, and his poor bones didn't approve of being abused as living cover.

“Hey, are you listening, you arsehole?! I am talking with you, Kakuzu!!!” Kakuzu didn't move and Hidan grew furious. This bastard! He knew this trick!

Hidan kicked him, but no reaction. The arsehole was deader than dead. “Stop bullshitting me ...”

“Oh my, you are still alive. Quite surprising.” Asami's saccharine smile interrupted him.

Asami pressed a purple sphere against his chest. “This is for my ice cream. This is my revenge.” The sphere packed a punch, catapulting Hidan backwards. He bounced over the ground like a human projectile. It hurt.

Hidan gritted his teeth. “You fucking bitch!!! You will pay for ...

Asami's sword cut him short and decapitated Hidan. “Amateurs.” How disappointing. She had expected more of the infamous Akatsuki ...”

“This isn't over yet!!! Don't believe you have won!”

“...” Asami blinked in confusion.

“Don't ignore me! I am down here!”

Asami followed his suggestions and rubbed her tired eyes. His head ... was talking ...

...

...

...

This wasn't a dream, was it?

Hidan fumed. “Stop staring ...”

Asami grabbed him and inspected the funny talking head. “Curious.”

Hidan protested, “Don't ignore me, or ...”

Asami presented a diabolical grin. “Or what? Are you going to kill me?” Her palm summoned a lovely purple flame.

“You don't scare me!” Hidan mocked her. “I am immortal, bitch! So bring it on!”

Dark glee filled Asami's eyes. “Don't worry, I will try my best.”

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They survived. Kakuzu rose and dusted off his clothes. They had underestimated the girl and suffered the consequences. The little princess stung. A more cautious approach was recommended.

Fortunately, playing dead served him well. He might be immortal, but he wasn't stupid.

Kakuzu strolled around in search for his partner. He located his charred head spiked on a broken pipe. Hidan had seen better days. Not that he didn't deserve his fate.

Kakuzu chuckled in a wave of schadenfreude. “Hidan, what happened?”

Hidan hesitated. “I met an angel, Kakuzu.”

“I met a goddess.”

Kakuzu frowned. The idiot had finally gone insane.

Hidan paused. “Kakuzu, I think I have fallen in love ...”

“Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm.”

Kakuzu's threads sealed his lips and silenced Hidan. He had enough of his rambling. “Better.”

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A cave, a dark place, a cold place, a lonely place, an inhospitable place, populated spiders and bugs, but the cave was special. A certain group elected the cave as one of their numerous hideouts.

Akatsuki rarely met in person, mostly relying on other means of communication.

Pain confirmed everyone's presence. Akatsuki supported flexible structures and autonomy, but a certain degree of organisation was necessary. A modicum of discipline and hierarchy had to be maintained.

Akatsuki remained officially mercenaries, and missions their primary source of income. A good reputation was indispensable on this market despite the infamous nature of their members. Immortal zombies, a psychopathic clan killer, a pyromaniac fanatic, a morbid puppeteer, they didn't contribute to a positive public image.

Kakuzu finally appeared. His figure flickered in the darkness. “Apologies for being late, but I was forced to deal with a few issues.”

Pain merely nodded and acknowledged his presence. The meeting commenced.

“Kakuzu, where is Hidan?”

Kakuzu clicked his tongue. “Hidan is sadly ... unavailable. Circumstances forced me to restrain him as he went bonkers. He didn't take our recent mission well.”

Pain didn't approve. Hidan going insane was within his calculations, but not this soon. They might need to liquidate him. “What happened?”

Kakuzu scratched his head. “That's a complicated story.”

“Speak your mind. We have time.”

Kakuzu grumbled annoyed. He wasn't much of a talkative person. “We received a mission. Our target was a girl, a kunoichi who turned traitor and abandoned her village. We set out to claim her bounty. Nothing unusual.”

“Unfortunately, the girl proved more troublesome than expected and Hidan fell in love with her.”

“...” Pain said nothing. Silence was his answer. True love? Such things existed?

“Hidan decided to build a shrine and sacrifice one-thousand souls. He wanted to beg Jashin to help him conquer the pure heart of his beautiful angel in black.”

“...”

“I intervened before he could do anything stupid.”

Pain merely nodded. “That seems reasonable.”

“How much is the girl worth?”

Kakuzu counted. “Konoha doubled their bounty recently. Kumo and Iwao promised 50,000,000 each, while Kiri and Suna pledged 25,000,000 and 15,000,000 respectively. So 444,000,000 ryo in total.”

Pain fell silent. The bounty was considerable, easily bankrupting smaller countries.

Pain maintained his stoic facade. Surprise didn't befit a divine leader. “I assume your mission failed.”

Kakuzu's mood darkened. “That's ... indeed the case. The girl escaped our clutches.”

“The girl proved a formidable opponent. Capable, determined, aggressive. Her strength caught us ... off guard.”

Pain processed the information. An idea formed. Akatsuki always looked out for new potential recruits, but suitable candidates were scarce. “Kakuzu, tell me more about her. The girl has caught my interest. Her addition might strengthen our ranks.”

...

...

...

“Sasori, Deidara, you receive new orders. You replace Kakuzu and Hidan. Your mission is to establish contact with the target.”

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