Kenan didn’t want to be back in Nonesthic so soon. He didn’t want to be back forever, if possible. The battle with the vines trying to take the souls Shell had cursed was grueling, and took a nearly full day to complete. Which he found odd, considering how he could snuff out souls in mere seconds. Yet, despite his want, he found himself in the familiar barren space. He couldn’t help but to feel comfortable in its void. The urge to stay in the vastness was easily dismayed by a bump of Dion’s wet nose. Noctis focused on a light, the solemn one in the black. Soon he was standing on gray stone, in front of ginormous iron bars. A large lizard-like beast forever captured in the cell, Nattura, had his head resting on his front paws. Already awake. Quickly his eyes shifted, rapidly. His eyebrows arched in confusion and frustration. He stood, shook his head. “Kenan?” “Yeah?” Nattura’s face got as close as possible to the bars. “Is the four-legged with you? Dion?” His eyes shifted from Dion to Kenan repeatedly. “Yes. He’s right here.” Noctis said. The dirus barked. In a show of agreement, and confusion. Kenan wasn’t sure what Dion misunderstood in the current situation, because it could be a lot. “Hmpf. It is odd. I…” He went back to lying on the ground. “Forget it. You have come for questions. Advice for the Mortem power you draw from.” “How… right. We're connected.” He sat, Dion followed. “I understand how to bring the power to my body, to the sword. Yet, besides for the one time, when battling Roshu, I haven’t been able to alter my magic, much less, use magic when I’m…” Noctis had trouble finding the correct word. “I understand. Mortems commonly call that state Vatr. How everyone uses it, how they experience it, is different. That’s why I couldn’t help you reach it. You didn’t need much assistance anyway. In fact, you call upon the power quicker and more effectively than I ever had. Even in my prime. That is beside the point. You are looking at the power wrong. Your perspective has to go under a slight shift. You took a part of Nonesthic, you are a part of it. Everything about you is affected by it. Eventually, when you awaken fully, Vatr will be your natural state. While you can take the power to you quite easily. You seem to force yourself to change your thoughts to enter such a place.` Kenan looked at him in confusion. Dion made a face like he completely understood. “I don’t understand.” “I can sense that. When you were fighting the cursed man, you couldn’t reach Vatr because of your anger, correct?” “Yes.” “Because you blocked yourself from doing so. You do not need to be emotionless for Vatr. It is like you have taken down a damn, but you control the flood. What you need to do is let it flow naturally.” “I… I understand. But, when I’m in Vatr, everything is… cold. How do I use fire, when I’m chilled.” The dragon shrugged, or the draconic equivalent of one. “Just make cold fire.” “What? How does that even make sense?” Nattura laughed. “Boy, there are much grander things make much less sense. Just let the reasoning be for now and do.” Dion woofed in agreement. *** First he gathered the chill, it resisted, unwilling or incapable. Kenan wasn’t sure which. Either way, it would be forced. Then he churned his mana, created a spark in the air and created a mote of fire. Regular fire. All the while his state of Vatr disappeared. Noctis started to set for another attempt. But he did so while pushing back on a wall of anger. It only managed for the rage to redouble its effort and break through his will. In the endless emotion, Kenan stood and unsheathed his blade. Looking around he found a training dummy. Swiftly he brought the blade up, pulsed his anger and mana through it. A large stream of fire erupted from the tip of the black blade and burnt the dummy to nothing more than ashes. “The horns of Oerth go through my skull!” He kicked the dirt in frustration. “So I come back undead so that I might bang my head against a fucking wall for all of eternity!” “Umm. Aren’t you already technically undead?” Jorun said, sitting nearby with Dion at his feet. Kenan quickly looked back at the bard with an unforgiving, soul-taking fiery gaze. “Sorry.” Kenan huffed. He was under pressure. A week passed and there was already strain on resources in Banburn. In a few days they would try to break the siege, and disperse the waiting, wandering beasts circling outside the walls. In two weeks Kenan knew he couldn’t get enough physical training to make much of a difference. So he opted to throw all his efforts into his magical abilities. For some reason, Kenan thought figuring out magic combined with Vatr would be a huge advantage. Yet, he found time dwindling at a rapid pace. “Kenan?” The bard said. “What?!” Kenan snapped, both at his friend and his thoughts. “Jorun.” If the bard had negative feelings towards the sharp reaction, he didn’t let it show. “I want to offer some advice.” Noctis sighed. Made his way over to his friend and sat adjacent to him, with his back against a brick wall. “Sorry. I didn’t mean too…” “Yeah yeah.” Jorun said quickly. “ It is what it is. You're belittling yourself to make more progress, and thus becoming frustrated. Blah blah blah. Anyway, I was thinking, you know two beings with the same power as you, yes?” “Yeah, what does this have to do with…” “Hold on man. Yes and no please. Let my wisdom flow for once. Anyway, what do these two have in common?” Kenan began to open his mouth. “Rhetorical. They are beasts. Yes the big lizard dude in your sword is sentient, and Dion is damn close. But, they aren’t human, or at least humanoid. Right? So I would think it’s unwise to think that your power flows the exact same. Right?” “I still don’t…’ “Tiamat's multi-colored shit. Shut up. Listen. Right, well, I have been talking with Oz a lot. They tell me tales of Goliaths. Well, once a half-giant finds their name, they experience a jump in power. That got me thinking. When I finally let myself feel the wind, I felt a little bit more… me. Do you understand what I’m getting at yet?” “No. I don’t.” “What if there is a part of you, or a truth about you, that you still reject. Therefore you can’t experience the full extent of your power?” “But I have my true name. Like what Oz said.” “Yeah. But words are meaningless without their meaning. In music, I can put a string of words together to make a halfway decent song. But, when they have hidden intentions. That makes a great song.” “Is this just a ploy to get me to accept that I’m a hero? Or something like that?” Jorun looked somewhat hurt, somewhat. “A hero doesn’t accept that he is a hero, but the people he saves do. Besides, I wouldn’t do that. I just want to get you to your goal. Because, if you think about it. The better your chances of success are directly correlated to my chances of survival. Anyway, I have used too much of my brain. I will now play music.” Jorun quickly grabbed his lute and started a tune.