"I desire flame-etched rubies, enough to fill a bathtub. Pearls of white, gold, and black from the giant oysters of the smoke. Blackened wood staves filled to the brim with Smoke and Corruption. The breath of a cyclone, the flesh of a kraken, and cutting of the strangling weed."

Ozzy looked down at the Hound. "You have all that?" The dog nodded meekly.

"Yep, I can do all that. Do you want the Kraken smoked or barbeque flavor?"

The question seemed to confuse the Duchess, a blank look showing on her face. The Fae lived long lives, and entirely new thoughts could take time to assimilate. It was what made clever mortals so dangerous to them. "Excuse me? Explain! The Kraken is the last ingredient for a spell I have taken centuries to formulate. Can you imagine the terror of acres of strangling vines reaching out like the arms of a Kraken to strangle all within reach?"

The Captain rolled his eyes. "Been there. Chopped the salad and turned it into sausage. I was asking what flavor of Kraken you wanted. Woodrat and I have some tasty flesh from Sharthezel, Queen of the Deep Krakens. She gave us a tentacle once, and it cooked up fine. The barbecue was done by Butterbelly, a chef from the Realm of the Firewalkers. He can really cook a fine chunk of Kraken."

He casually flashed a ring he wore that bore the mark of the Kraken Queen.

"Then I will take your recommendation, and you may bring me a babe's weight of the flesh of Sharthezel. What of the other items I demand?"

"Oh, not a problem. It will take some time to gather it all up and make a few trades up in the Smoke. What do you offer for it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She gestured at the Suzette's.

Captain Ozzy shook his head slowly. "It is if you only want a one-time deal. I thought you wanted to do business on a continuing basis. We can each turn a good profit on every trip. One trip can make a Baron wealthy and put some gems in the coffers of a minor lord. The problem Woodrat will run into with Billy and the Summer lad is that they're small potatoes without a lot of working capital to invest. Oh, they'll make some money each trip, but not like what we could do with your resources and connections."

He pointed at Suzette. "Sure, I'm right fond of her, but she's a side deal you set up to get me here when you were suffering from bad information from an incompetent minion. Trading for her isn't the basis of a long-term business deal."

The Suzettes all pouted.

"I like you better and better, Captain. It shall be as you say: A long-term business agreement with a small side deal. I saw that you had an interest in the Silverthorn Vines. You have a fine eye. A talented smith can work them into potent poisoned weapons, and their venom will kill any mortal. I'm sure you might even find other uses for the enchanted metal. A set of silverware, perhaps, for the Baron when you tire of dealing with him? And my vaults are filled with common treasures that men desire. Diamonds and gold to fill the hold of your ship."

The Captain smiled broadly. "I like that idea. I'm sure the Hound and one of your scribes can work out the deal for us to look over. Three trips a year, and 40% of the cargo will be dedicated to your goods and only your goods. It would be very convenient if you created a portal from the mortal world to your realm. I can sail right through and drop anchor here."

The Duchess nodded, clapped her hands, and a trio of scribes descended on the hapless Hound, who seemed out of his depth in the negotiations. The scribes got what they wanted and presented the document to the Duchess. She glanced at it, signed it, and passed it to the Captain. He spent a much longer time reading the clauses, raised an eyebrow at the scribes and crossed out two of them, then handed it back to the Duchess, who signed again.

"Very well, we have a document and an agreement." The Suzettes clapped and looked hopeful.

The Captain nodded. "Then I'll take my girl and be on my way."

The Duchess smiled. "Will you, Captain? Such doxies must look all the same to you. Choose the one you wish to take with you." She gestured to the barmaids behind her.

The Captain walked to the soldiers and took the helmet off the one at the end, revealing a girl with dark hair and pointed ears. The rest of the enchanted armor fell to the ground. "This is my girl. Those others are nice bits of fluff, but I doubt they can keep me happy the way this one does."

The real Suzette shook her head as if waking up. "What the hell? Why am I..." The Captain put his hand on her mouth. "Quiet, finishing a business deal, and then we leave. I have a cargo to get together."

The Duchess was silent and not at all happy. The simulacrums had been perfect, each one 99% of the girl, and made with the allure of a siren, but somehow he had known where she was. The Captain was competent and sure of himself. That vexed her. But he had missed one small thing."

"Oh, I am so sorry, Captain. I offered you the pick of the best I had to offer. That girl is an honored guest. I can't just barter her away like a trashy little mortal wench. It wouldn't be right! But I shall compromise with you. She can stay here with me as a guest until you return with your first cargo. Think of her as collateral. And if you bring me something extra, I'll exchange her for the treasures you bring me."

"Not happening. I came for the girl. I'm leaving with the girl. Otherwise, no deal."

The Duchess pouted and fanned herself. "Oh dear, and after we have a signed document? That will cause so much trouble. Whatever shall we do? OH! I know. You can give me my treasures now. Your girl has told me of your magical bag filled with artifacts from ancient days. Don't blame her. Spending this much time as my guest will loosen any tongue and let slip a few secrets. We became so close to each other. Between the two of us, I get the impression she was unhappy with how few things you were giving her while packing around a bag of treasures."

Captain Ozzy scowled at the girl, who cringed away from him. "You told her what was in my bag?!"

Tears rolled down her face, and she knelt in the dirt. "I didn't mean to. You were gone so long. Months! And I sat in that cage reading nursery rhymes in a library filled with musty old books, eating muffins. I was angry and mad that you valued that sack more than me and never even showed me the treasures at the bottom! Who cares about an old crown and sword! Just give them to the Duchess, and let me go home!" The pitiful thing collapsed, sobbing.

Smoke poured from the Captain, every bit of him heating up and filling the air with black clouds that hovered over the meeting place. Finally, he got his anger under control. "You know what it means if I give her those artifacts?" She whimpered and nodded her head.

He turned away from her. "No more bullshit. I have two Legendary artifacts so valuable I can't even sell the damned things. I'll give them to you in exchange for this girl. She's mine now and walks out of here with me when I want to leave. You can keep the damned things as collateral against the cargo for the voyages. Agree and say it!"

She smiled. "Oh, but I love a forceful man who can make a decision! It's been so brief but enjoyable dealing with you, Captain. Yes, I agree. In exchange for two Legendary artifacts, given to me freely, you and she may depart in peace when you will, unhindered and unharmed."

Ozzy nodded with a hint of a smile. "Good enough. Get up and start walking, girl." He upended his bag and dumped two items to the ground. One was a crown, tarnished and glowing with flicking fires. The other was a baleful sword of blackened metal that screamed its intent to destroy the world. The power of the items was obvious to the Duchess, and she could not resist striding toward them as they called to her to pick them up. "Oh, YES! Yes, these will do!"

She bent and picked up Lemechial's Blade of the Blackened Star and held it high above her head, power gathered around the sword...and the Duchess began to wither. It was a slow process at first, beginning with lines around her eyes and the corners of her mouth. Then wrinkles covered her face as her hair thinned and fell out, turning grey and then white. With a curse, she tried to throw the sword from her, but instead, it fell at her feet as her right hand crumbled to dust. Where the blade and the Tarnished Halo of 'Begone from our Sight' lay on the ground, the grass withered and smoked, the dirt crumbled, and a crater formed. The extra Suzettes were dispersed as the spell that made them was disrupted. The armor fell from the soldiers, and they and the scribes retreated quickly, stumbling and running.

The Duchess screamed. "Iron! You brought an artifact of Iron into my realm!"

The Hound barked twice, and Suzette held up two fingers. "Two iron artifacts. And not just iron. Those are made from Primordial Iron from before the stars were lit. Forged in the cold of the void for the angels that worked with the dragons and great beasts to create the universe. At least that's what your books and a gnomish sage say. And they are all yours."

The Captain turned to leave as the realm of Duchess Midnight began to unravel. She screamed at him. "Take them! Take them up again!" She was looking worse as she stumbled after them. The ground shuddered and shook, trees began to wither and the grass burned.

Ozzy turned and glared at her. "Nope. You fething couldn't play fair, could you? Had to take my girl hostage, make threats to get me here, and try to cheat me at every turn. And still, I'd have walked out of here and honored our deal, but you had to keep pushing. Just like a damned woodpecker, never knowing when to quit. You got your artifacts. They are as valuable, as I said. But maybe the cost is too high for you."

"Take them back! I will release her. Give you treasures, and tell you secrets. Name your price." Behind her, the crater widened as the Primordial Iron unknit the fabric of her realm. In a short time, it would be too late. Oberon would be forced to hurl her realm into the void lest the iron destroys all of his realms. Her power was draining away, even as she was forced to beg for her life.

Ozzy snorted, but Suzette strode up to the Duchess. She was taller now, with hair like the sun, and her eyes flashed with malice and power. "Release your slaves. All of them. Let the people you've enslaved go, rescind any contracts, dispel the enchantments, let them go free with no bindings and your word you will bear no ill will or take actions against them. Give me what I want, and Ozzy will take back the items. Or you can keep them and die. Choose quickly, poppet, your immortal life is now measured in minutes."

There was no hesitation as the Duchess agreed. "My slaves, yes, I release my soldiers and servants; they are free to go." The people who had retreated began running for the Silverthorn gates, and a crowd of fae, humans, gnomes, goblins, and other races streamed from her castle, doing the same."

Suzette shook her head. "Not good enough. Those you have changed to another form must go free. Those whose souls are trapped in artifacts must be reborn. The chained spirits in the basement and the crockery golems you have bound in the kitchen will be given back their true forms and freedom."

The Duchess looked pained but agreed. "Yes, yes. All those as well."

"The chained realms that float in enchanted globes, the thing of the void that you have leashed in the kennels, the dragons sleeping beneath the earth wearing collars of emeralds. Release them all."

The Duchess looked back at the castle, now with creatures flying from every crevice. "My dragons? Yes, my dragons! Take them."

"And lastly, you will free from your control all of those who you chain with threats and evidence. Every victim of blackmail and every lord who answers to your command. Free them all and any I have not named that you control. Free them, or die and be dust, forgotten and drifting in the void." She stepped back and became silent.

The Duchess screamed at the sky, a horrible shriek of loss and the pain of admitting defeat. "Yes, I agree. Now take back the cursed iron and begone."

Ozzy stepped forward and stomped hard on the ground. The sword and halo jumped into the air from the force, and he caught them in the bag. A hush fell over the Realm of Midnight. The Duchess slumped to the ground.

Ozzy tipped his hat. "Nice doing business with you." He turned to the Hound and the girl. "Let's go home."

They had only taken a half-dozen steps when the Duchess laughed softly. "Oh, you think you've won? I guess you have. But I recall two things. The first is that poor Alwyn has been so distraught at the loss of his pony. The second is the rules about Hounds are more guidelines, and I don't remember anything about loaning a Hound to a mortal. Let me give you a parting gift since I can do nothing else." The green and noxious power formed around her remaining hand, seven silver daggers coated with poison. With a gesture, the raced through the air and struck the Hound, penetrating its body, blood spraying across the ground. Suzette dropped to the slain animal, and Ozzy stepped toward the Duchess.

She smiled at him. "You won; allow me my little spite. Unless you wish to go to war over a dog?"

From behind Suzette, an angry butterfly flew at the Duchess.

From the gates came the sound of swords being drawn and the roar of a Sphynx.