《Confessions of the Magpie Wizard》Book 6: Chapter 24 (Wherein There Can Only Be One)
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Chapter 23
I was a bit surprised when Sergeant Lakhdar intercepted us just outside Installation 17B’s walls.
“She can’t know about the targets yet,” whispered Kiyo. “Right?”
“She won’t if you keep it quiet,” hissed Gabriella.
Kowalski looked a bit uncomfortable as she approached, but he didn’t blurt anything out. Was that Lilya’s influence making him feel more confident, or my own corrupting sway? Either way, it made him a better accomplice.
Gabriella drew her shoulders back, her ready manner evaporating in an instant. Her hand shot up to her forehead. We all followed suit, not wanting to be punished for being too slow.
The Algerian woman seemed surprised at the formality, but returned it in kind. “At ease, cadets. How did the target practice go?”
“Smashingly, Sergeant,” I replied, unable to resist the pun.
“How close do you think you are to mastering the True Spell?” she asked.
“Give me a couple more days and I should have it down,” I replied. “Is that a new one? I haven’t seen it before.” I’d have remembered fending off a spell that destructive in my Captain Malthus days.
She nodded. “We don’t have time to get you all up to speed on a whole year’s worth of magical spells before you’re out of basic. So, you’re learning some new spells that R&D has been cooking up. Any thoughts on it?”
“W-well,” said Kowalski, surprising me by speaking up. The blond boy really had grown a bit. I was oddly proud. “It seems like it’s a bit dangerous for the person marking the target.” He gulped. “Ah, ma’am,” he added hastily.
Sergeant Lakhdar nodded. “Good observation. It can also be a disaster if your teams don’t coordinate and several people are casting it at once.”
I cocked my head at that. It seemed we weren’t as observant as we’d thought. “Oh, is that a known issue?”
“That it is,” she said.
“And we were sent out to cast it without that warning?” I added.
She only shrugged. “You were all seen as worthy of skipping a year; I knew you’d sort it out yourselves.”
“There really has to be a better way to mark the target than walking right up to them, then getting the heck out before getting splattered!”
“You’d think so, but it’s still in beta,” she replied. “Moulham is out working on a fabricata to take the job of the anvil, but the trick is finding a delivery method.”
Kiyo stroked her chin. “Well, uh, I guess you could load it in a fabricata bullet and fire it at the enemy, but then why not just shoot ‘em to start?”
“An arrow would have the same problem,” I said.
“Besides,” said Gabriella, finally relaxing a bit, “don’t devils usually have layers of barriers and shields all over the place to cover their formations? A bullet or arrow would get blocked partway there.”
“That’s exactly the issue with everything we’ve considered,” said Sergeant Lakhdar. “But, that’s above your paygrade. For now, learn the spells as-is. If you can coordinate properly, they can do something about all of those barriers. You’re all dismissed… except Marlowe.”
As drill sergeants went, Carine Lakhdar was surprisingly big on Socratic dialogue. Despite that, the other three looked relieved as they returned to their quarters.
“Have I managed to get in trouble again already?” I asked.
“I don’t know, have you?” she countered, her voice completely bereft of humor.
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“Not that I’m aware of.”
“Keep it that way, Sir Marlowe,” she said, adding a bit of sarcasm to my new title. “No, I have a real question for you.”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“I just mentioned you all skipped a year, and most of you have lived up to my expectations.”
I heard a ‘but’ coming, but I also didn’t want to run more laps. So, I waited.
She hesitated, probably expecting the obvious rejoinder. “What in heaven’s name is Cadet Yamada doing here?”
I winced on her behalf. “She is improving a bit, isn’t she?”
“She’s improved in that now she’s actually held a sword,” replied the sergeant. “She learns magic quickly, when she puts her mind to it, but there’s spells she refuses to put her mind to. Also, she managed to beat The Gauntlet, thanks to your little spell, but it takes her twice as long as anybody else.”
“Mariko is damned… darned brave.” I winced as I let slip the true curse.
“Keep going,” she said, seemingly unbothered by my casual blasphemy. So much for the third commandment.
“I’ve been in three fights alongside her,” I said. “She really is a fantastic support mage, and she managed to keep Asahi Maki alive when he had some ghastly wounds.”
“If she were being trained as just a medic, then that would be fine,” she said. “However, I’ve been asked to turn her into a soldier, and at this rate, I’ll get my pension before she’s combat ready.”
“I appreciate that she can be a bit difficult about all of this—”
“Difficult?” she spat. “She argues constantly about it, no matter what I say or do. I asked Moulham about it. Was she really given an exemption from learning combat magic at your school?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And no physical conditioning?”
“Outside of a morning jog, no ma’am.”
“I didn’t want to believe Moulham.” Her scowl deepened. “I love Yosuke Tachibana like a brother, but damn his soft heart!”
Ah, that’s why I hadn’t bothered her before. Recalling the crucifix in her office, it seemed odd, but this wasn’t the time to get into applied theology. “We make a good team in battle; I can keep her safe.”
“How positively romantic,” she said. “And what happens when you’re being swarmed by goblins and orcs while you’re keeping the devils at bay? There’s a dozen spells that could clear them out or drive them away, but they’re all on her boycott list.”
“You have a point, ma’am,” I said.
“Good,” she said. “You’re her boyfriend. Maybe you can have some influence over her that I don’t. I already have you scheduled for extra lessons with her tonight; maybe take some time out to talk some sense into her.”
“Ma’am, I’ve honestly tried many times,” I said. “I can tell you that her beliefs are sincerely held, and there is a reason for them. I’ve learned to be tolerant.”
“Tolerance is going to get her killed! I heard from Sato and Takahashi about how Yamada was in those fights,” she said. “She nearly died several times over, and was half-maimed once. She might want to be a martyr, but I want her to survive the service and get on with her life.”
“I seriously don’t think that she’ll budge,” I said.
“If you promise to try, I might just find other assignments for your chaperones.”
“Ma’am?”
“It’s going to be a private conversation anyway,” she said, a hint of a smirk playing at her lips. “We wouldn’t want any outsider interrupting you.”
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Was she giving me a pass to make my play? There went commandment number seven. It seemed she wasn’t the sort to let doctrine get in the way of results.
“I’d have done it anyway, ma’am,” I said.
“I know you would,” she said. “Just be convincing; she’s been immune to my punishments so far, and I’m getting tired of assigning them.”
“Did Mr. Lahlou mention that everybody at the school has tried at one point or another, including me?”
“He did,” she said. “However, you seem to have a record of achieving the impossible. Give it another shot.”
Chapter 24
Give it another shot, she said. “Makes it sound so damn easy,” I muttered.
Carine Lakhdar was good about giving us some privacy; Hiro and Yukiko were nowhere to be found when I joined Mariko in the cozy study room, and I’d been entrusted with a key.
Mariko sat across from me, throwing me for a loop from the start. She played with her braided hair and bit her lip, which were familiar signs of agitation. “Do you know how embarrassing it was?”
“Come again?”
“You must know,” she said. “What they showed on the news.”
I had no idea what she was on about. “I wouldn’t call that whole affair in North Ireland embarrassing, exactly. Though, Wendy was clearly one of Fera’s agents.”
It was her turn to look surprised. “Hm? Really?”
“I suppose I never told you all the details about my so-called ‘ex’,” I said. I gave her a quick rundown of the unrequited childhood crush, and Fera’s entirely mercenary offer of a political marriage upon my return. It seemed wise to leave out the sordid details of my last night in Pandemonium, aside from the fact that we had made the beast with two backs.
“What are the odds that the real Soren Marlowe would just happen to have the exact same sort of relationship in his life? Fera clearly fed that to the poor doomed girl to tell me.”
Mariko stuck her tongue out for a moment as she processed the strange tale. It was such a cute little habit, but I left the comment to myself. “But why? Why waste an agent like that just to deliver such a small message?”
“I can’t parse it out myself,” I admitted. “Probably just a reminder that they’re still out there.”
Mariko shuddered. “And that was the woman you loved?”
“More an infatuation,” I said. “She was beautiful, and I couldn’t have her. Plus, the political alliance would be an easy and convenient one. That’s as romantic as it gets back home. Really, knowing you has made me realize how shallow I used to be.”
“Used to be.” It seemed I’d reminded her that she ought to be cross; she leaned back and crossed her arms under her chest. “You really have no idea what I am talking about.”
“I really don’t,” I said.
Mariko stood up, walked over, and sat in my lap. I went from confused to randy as she gently traced her finger along my jawline, drawing close enough that we nearly kissed.
“Padma Patel? I love the alliteration, my dear,” she said in a passably gruff voice.
Before I could respond one way or the other, she shot to her feet and returned to her chair, going back to fuming at me.
“How did you even know about that?” I asked.
She went from annoyed to furious in a heartbeat. “That is your question? It was on the news report. That blonde girl from the café, too.”
“What kind of news report were they showing you?”
“It was some sort of entertainment gossip show,” she said. “We could not watch the live stream, since it was during morning training, so that is what the sergeant found. They covered that girl dying, showed you being knighted… and then they went straight into what was trending about you on social media. What were you thinking, Soren?”
“It meant nothing,” I said. “Just putting on a show for a fan.”
“Nothing, hm? I got just as close to you as you did to her, and you are still beet red.”
“Nobody was in each other’s laps!”
“Only because neither of you was sitting. You nearly kissed her!” Her anger spent itself quickly, and her face fell as she settled back into her chair. “D-did anything happen with those girls?”
“Of course not,” I said. “It was just some harmless flirting.”
She shook her head emphatically. “It hurt me, Soren. Kiyo kept telling me ‘I told you so’ and I could not disagree.”
I pulled my own chair around next to hers, and she rested her head on my shoulder. She was still willing to touch me, so I took that as a sign that this wasn’t the end.
“I suppose… no, I know I fell into some old habits there,” I said. It felt wrong to be so frank, but I knew Mariko wasn’t going to use this against me later. “They’ve tried to turn me into a little Mr. Maki for the next generation, and it seems to be working.”
“Wonderful for them,” she said, her voice pouting as well as her face. “Wizard Puffs sales will go up next quarter.”
“What can I do to prove you’re the only one I want?” I asked.
“I have been thinking about that,” she said. “I did not think you would actually cheat, but the other cadets think you did.”
“Really? Even Hiro and Yukiko?”
“Hiro and Rafal believe in you; Yukiko was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.”
“Huh. She really has forgiven me,” I said.
“Anyway,” she said, “I have decided what you can do to make me feel better.”
“Fire away.”
“I want to be your dear from now on.”
I sat in silence for a moment. “Come again?” Did I need to pull out the translator?
Her eyes looked up at me imploringly from behind her thick rimmed glasses. “Every woman you meet, it is ‘my dear’ this or ‘my dear’ that. Yukiko was your dear, Kiyo was your dear, Ms. Edwards was your dear, Heida was your dear, this Padma woman you had never met was your dear. I want that to stop. I am your only dear.”
“Is that all?”
“What do you mean, ‘is that all’?”
“That isn’t what I mean by it, though,” I said. “It’s a term of affection.”
“Exactly,” she said. “Much too familiar for women you only just met! That is all I ask. That is how I will know you mean it.”
“It’s bound to slip out, my dear,” I said. “It’s standard practice back home. Devilmaids are very touchy about how they are addressed; it’s been burned into me. Literally, the one time.”
Mariko winced at that last comment. “Then try harder for me. I believe you, Kasasagi, but I do not want others to get strange ideas.”
“I can promise that much, my dear,” I said.
She held up her hands, to block me. “You can stop now.”
“I’ll have to get them out with you, my dear. I have so many stored up, I’ll explode if I don’t, my dear.”
Enemy above, I loved her musical laughter. “You are ridiculous. What kind of a knight are you?”
“The ridiculous sort, it seems,” I replied, catching her in a quick kiss. Oh, I’d missed that. Specifically, I’d missed her, and my mind was still going randy places after that stunt she’d pulled in my lap…
However, I had to think about baseball and cool down a tad. The problem I’d run into was that she’d seized the initiative in the conversation, and there wasn’t a logical way to tilt it towards my real objective.
Now, my dear, since I’m out of the doghouse, I’d like you to abandon your most closely held beliefs. Yes, that would go over well.
So, I’d have to be indirect. “W-well,” I said, “It’s a pity we have work to do.”
She nodded, her expression showing she’d been as ready as I was. “Y-yes,” she managed, straightening herself up. “Oh, I figured something out about my affinity.”
“Bike Remover?”
“That is not the name,” she said, rewarding me for my nonsense with an adorable pout. “I always thought it simply vaporized things. You realized that I make a gas when I disintegrate things. I mentioned that to the Sergeant, and she suggested I pay attention to what I felt when I used it.”
“Sensible.”
She nodded. “I went through a box of office supplies, but I learned something. Watch this.” Picking up a pen, she squeezed her eyes shut, sticking out her tongue again as she focused. The scent of mint filled the air as she worked her magic, my Mimic Scent’s interpretation of her magical signature.
Bits of the pen flaked away, the black specks fading into nothingness. However, the entire structure didn’t vanish. Instead, the blue plastic that remained turned a dull bronze.
After a minute’s work, she held up her handiwork. “Well? What do you think? I can make things this metal, or a grey one.”
I took it, studying her work. “Hm, it feels lighter…”
“Be careful, it is—”
She was too late. While turning it over, the pen broke along the midline, scattering flecks of coppery metal every which way.
That gave me pause. We’d used old human stores of ballpoint pens back in the horde, and I’d seen the innards a time or two when an orc forgot his grip strength. There was no ink falling into my lap, and the contents were the wrong color.
“Transmutation,” I said. “Actual transmutation of the elements.”
Mariko nodded, looking pleased with herself. “I think I made it into copper. I am not sure; chemistry was not my strongest subject. I imagined smaller coins.”
“My dear, get yourself a chemistry textbook immediately,” I said, my hands trembling with excitement. “All the alchemists in this world and the old world of the Horde spent centuries trying to crack this secret of the universe. The best we could do is make something look like gold, and it’ll revert in ten minutes, while being hot to the touch the whole time. This is astounding! Simply astounding!”
Mariko slumped back in her chair. “I had not realized it was so impressive.”
In that moment, I saw my in. I pulled her to her feet before hauling her up by her armpits, spinning about and laughing like an idiot.
“Kasasagi, what are you doing?”
I set her down quickly; there were downsides to dating a woman near my own height. “My dear, don’t you see? You don’t need to be afraid of your own shadow anymore!”
“Y-you are not making sense.” She shook her head to fight off the dizziness.
“You proved that Bike Remover is good for more than vaporizing things,” I said. “Think about it! Ever since you destroyed your great grandfather’s confessions, you’ve been afraid of your magic, convinced that your gift was too dangerous. That’s all nonsense. You don’t destroy, you transform!”
“I-I had figured out that much,” she said.
“No, if you knew this and were still fighting with Sergeant Lakhdar about your training, it hasn’t sunk in yet,” I said. “Stop being worried about what you could do. Master Bike Remover, and you could be the most important woman in the world.”
“Because I can turn plastic into copper?”
“For starters,” I replied. “Turn garbage into helium, or oil, or radium, or whatever else the world needs.” I reached down, picking up the abandoned pen. “And think, you could do this after applying yourself for a few days. You haven’t scratched the surface yet.”
Mariko’s eyes lit up. “That is right!”
“You know what developing your talent means, though,” I said, taking a step back and pacing, as if I hadn’t had this thought immediately. “You’re going to have to commit to your studies. Fully commit, I mean.”
“Ara?”
“Well, you never know what learning the right spell could unlock,” I said. “Right now, you’re using a failed defensive spell as underwear.”
“I am?” She looked down, as if just realizing that her upper torso was still wreathed in a Shield of Heaven. It was underneath her uniform, but I could just make out the telltale glimmer at the edges. “So I am. It is so comfortable… I will have to ask Yukiko to dispel it later.”
“You see my point, though. Learning that useless spell let me apply it in creative ways,” I said. “Open yourself up to new things. Go with the program, and stop fighting against the sergeant. It’s all I ask.”
Mariko’s face fell slightly, before she smiled again. “Yes.”
“Now see here, my dear, I… Yes?”
She nodded once. “Yes, I agree with you.”
“This seems too easy,” I said, regretting that I’d blurted it out aloud.
Mariko sidled up to me, throwing her arms around the back of my neck. “If I can develop my magic like you are saying, the League will never let me serve on the front lines. I will be too valuable. That means there is no harm in learning the violent tactics and spells they want to teach me; I will never be in the position to use them.”
That seemed oddly devious for my Mariko. However, I wasn’t going to sell past the close.
Besides, this scheming side had my inner devil roaring for her. And if my two halves could agree on anything, they must have had a point. Since our dear Sergeant Lakhdar had given us some time to ourselves, it seemed a shame to waste it.
“Speaking of expanding our horizons,” I said, “since Shield of… that place is an abandoned spell, we can progress the state of magical research a bit tonight.”
She cocked her head at me. “What do you mean?”
“We don’t have Ms. Sato on hand to dispel it,” I said. “It seems to me we can give it a bit of a stress test. For science, of course.”
“Of course,” she said, shaking her head wistfully. “What if they find us?”
“Zone of Silence,” I intoned. Even with the locked door, in a place like this, I’d rather be too quiet than be overheard. “The door’s locked and the room is reserved. For right now, it’s just you and me. Just the way I’ve wanted it.”
That last line sealed the deal. I’d worried that Mariko’s ardor would have faded after my transgressions. The look of desire in her eyes dashed those fears.
“You are sure we cannot be caught this time?”
“Sure enough.”
“We will have to run several tests,” she said, teasing at my uniform’s buttons. “To be sure of the results, I mean.”
I scoffed at that. “Several? My dear, I’ve flown across the world and done a full day’s worth of training today! One should suffice.”
Mariko looked up at me, her brown eyes twinkling with mischief. “I believe in you, Sir Marlowe. You will manage.”
Gentlemen, get yourself a woman of sensibility. They’re delightful once they decide to be randy like the rest of us.
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