Jed woke up stuck up to his neck in sand, and trouble. He punched at his shirt being nibbled. A vulture had landed on him for a snack, and its buzzard buddies were waiting in the wings for seconds.

“Shoot,” he stammered, throwing his empty six shooter at the creature.

It was a direct hit. The bird squealed, and squawked as it retreated, losing feathers. The rest of the pack that had been circling followed on the retreat.

Jed was alone again in the desert. The air was dead of wind, and his mouth was drier than a smoker. As he climbed back to his feet sand rushed out of his pant legs. He worked overtime to move one leg after another. His boots might as well have been weighed down by anchors, and his arms felt black, and blue. He needed water.

It was just light enough to see the bones of the ghost town smoldering in front of him. The western town had burned to the ground in the dark, but now it was early morning. The first sun peaked just over the valley. Soon the other two would join it, and the heat would come blazing back in full force. His face and hands were red and already toasted like a pastry. He walked along a main street that was littered with particles. It smelled of soot, and burning bodies. His last hope was the big red barn on the outskirts, and there was a big trail of smoke coming from where it had been.

Jed gritted his teeth, and kept on going. He wasn’t ever giving up on surviving. He walked over a destroyed coffin, and its contents that had been ground to dust. The stairs to his final destination were less than a few hundred feet away.

Jed’s vision swirled and faded as the sunlight grew. He went to cough, but only stirred up more dust. He was so worn out he couldn’t even manage to talk to himself. His feet kept on moving underneath him, while he shut his eyes and ignored everything else. He was almost to the stairs, and then what? It wasn’t looking good, but he had to think of something else. His foot hit something hard, and he almost tripped. Now came the hard part. He looked down, and saw he had run into the helmet of a dead soldier, and the stairs were still 50 feet off.

Jed thought of what he would do if he survived to be an old man. He hoped his mobility, and facilities would never get stuck permanently at the levels they had been reduced to right now. He imagined that as long as he could find a wife to grow old with it couldn’t be that bad.

His bones creaked as he started climbing the steep stone steps. The breeze picked up ever so slightly, just enough to tease a break, and he swayed on the precipice almost falling backwards. The suns were sizzling now while whatever water remained in him was being driven out in sweat. He had reached the top step, but the once even path had become a mountain of sand from the storm.

The windmills formally lining the path had snapped in half, and so had the majority of the palm trees. The cactuses were blown to smithereens with everything else. The vegetation had been fried including all the tumbleweeds that were toast, and the cemetery was buried except for the highest point of a crypt.

Jed stumbled forward like a zombie looking for shade instead of brains. It was looking more and more like getting out of this mess alive was gonna require a miracle. He fell to his knees as his legs gave out, and smelled barbecue ahead. He saw the roof of the barn, and began to drag himself forward while his head pounded, and eyesight went in and out. The sand gave way and he slid back down the way he came, while sick to his stomach. He crawled under a standing palm tree that had been balded by its foliage. He covered his body with his shirt as the only shade, and fought the overwhelming urge to puke from heatstroke.

Jed felt teeth sink into his back,and begin to drag the rest of him through the dirt. He couldn’t muster enough strength to open his eyes and fight off whatever it was this time. His consciousness faded to black.

“Wake up cowboy,” said a familiar voice, as a wet snoot nuzzled him.

He coughed alive again, and face to face with a donkey that talked. The beast smiled a sly grin while its eyes twinkled with mischievousness. The floor was straw, and the ceiling had red wood planks. Jed had been saved and taken to the barn. He proceeded to puke his guts out in celebration.

“Good thing I saved plenty of juice,” said Mule with a wink, while pushing a dog dish full of purple fluid in front of the human.

Jed’s lips cracked, and bled as he opened them. He stuck his entire face into the metal bowl, and slurped it up like he was an elephant. When he couldn’t get more he rolled over and dumped the remaining contents down his throat. The liquid was hot and burned, but he wasn’t feeling any pain any more.

“You got the big rig back?” Jed asked.

“Nope, but I did siphon it off into these tanks,” Mule said.

“I can’t see anything, but thank you for saving me, the reward is all yours buddy,” said Jed, too tired to stand.

“Nonsense there's still a lot of ground to cover, and a short time to get there. Besides, it's clear the empire wanted that juice for something special, and when they figured out the trick I've done on them..”

“We are going to have all the heat we can handle,” Jed interrupted.

“Yes sir,” said Mule, as his body began to contort like a balloon animal. “Unfortunately we don’t have enough time for you to make a recovery,” he finished rolling over, and looking dead.

“Hee-Haw,” groaned the talking donkey, slowly transforming his hoof into a monkey's paws, while his hair began to retract.

Mist filled the barn until an upright monkey was standing at attention. Mule leapt forward to a dark corner, as he howled. Jed looked on in stunned disbelief.

“Now I'm sorry you had to act as our distraction, but it all seems to have worked out ok in the end,” said Mule, emerging duel wielding two bananas, and a cowboy hat that was far too big for his little primate head.

He placed the hat on Jed, and handed him an opened fruit. Jed scoffed it down, getting hiccups. Mule took hold of the bowl and pushed it forward with his monkey feet. Jed quenched with a refill of the legendary purple nectar, while mule emerged again this time carrying two loaded revolvers.

“Here you go man,” he said, tossing Jed both of them, while his feet dragged in more firepower.

“Thanks buddy,” said Jed, grabbing both weapons midair, and spinning the six shooters on opposite trigger fingers before holstering them.

“Don’t forget the ammo,” said Mule, tossing him a loaded bandolier.

“What about you?” asked Jed.

“Click,”

The monkey slammed a sawn off shotgun together.

“Oh Haha you mean business,” said Jed.

“OOOO-OOO-A-AAA-AAA, we've got a delivery to make, let's go!” yelled Mule, scampering to the exit.

At the barn door was a pallet packed with sealed metal containers. Next to it was a saddle hanging with full riding gear.

“Are you thinking what I am?” asked Jed.

“I’m always four steps ahead of you, now give me space,” said Mule, gritting his teeth as he was beginning to smoke.

His body withered, cracked, and bent as a black mane full of hair shot out. The mist filled the entire barn this time while hoofs formed again. Jed covered his face as the air hissed, and Mule groaned. By the time Jed looked again at a wild looking mustang was looking back mean at him. Mule was now pure chestnut. The smoke continuously leaked from his flaring nostrils, as he raised his front hoofs, and proudly neighed.

“Saddle me up, and let's ride for the hills,” said Mule, standing in front of him.

Jed threw on the saddle, bags, guns, and pack with haste. He had grown up farming and it was second instinct. The metal container holding their payday of juice was the trickiest thing to strap on, but he got it tied down good eventually. Finally the man climbed aboard wearing his new rattlesnake boots.

“I’ve got some horsepower now,” said Mule.

“Let’s see.. Giddy up!” yelled Jed.

The cowboy, and his horse charged from the barn kicking up clouds of dirt. They flew down main street, and jumped over the rail road full of debris. The ghost town was a speck behind them, and Mule hadn’t slowed. The winds blew in the start of another sundown.

A familiar cackling sound filled the air, raising the pair's hairs. The witch shot through the sky above them looking for trouble.

“I’ve got you now my pretties,” laughed Isabela, aiming her wand.

“Let’s go witch,” said Jed, aiming his guns right back at her.

A slow moving orb shot through the sky until it was intercepted by a bullet.

“Boom!”

The explosion blew up midair. It knocked Isabela sideways, and threw off her crystal ball, and it’s connected C.B. receiver. She spun through the air out of control as her hairs were singed by the danger close.

“Watch this,” neighed Mule, leaking smoke, as he continued galloping.

He had begun forming feathers, and a beak as his mane retracted. He was running straight for a cliff edge while transforming. Above Isabella had righted her ship, and was pissed. She waved her wand angrily in hot pursuit. She blasted explosion after explosion after the cowboy, and his stead who were running out of ground to run. The rider turned, and aimed. Jed fired a hail of bullets that bounced off the defensive crystal force field.

“Hehehe,” she cackled, aiming for the final strike.

The horse jumped into the canyon thousands of feet drop to the bottom. While the edge was engulfed in a fiery explosion. Isabella smirked as she watched them fall out of sight. She cracked her knuckles and prepared to follow the tanker in custody that had flown far ahead. It was going to be a long flight for her ancient bones. A loud whistle cut her off.

“What now?” she huffed, turning her head to scan with hawk eyes.

The witch raised both eyelashes into her pointed hat, while her mouth was agape. The winds whistled as did a giant bird piercing her eardrums. She covered her head as a giant bald eagle shot overhead with a rider saddled to its back. Jed spun the second six shooter reloaded, and cocked the hammers back to twelve bullets. Mule raised his talons with the jungle juice gripped like a fish. Isabella aimed her wand for the final showdown as her arm shook with adrenaline.