Looking at the near wasteland inside of his dantian, John couldn’t help but wonder once more what sort of results he could have achieved had he intentionally caused this sort of death and rebirth cycle. He was fortunate that having achieved the cycle of the four core elements that they naturally fed into each other, healing the damage he had done. But now, that natural healing was slowing. John did not find that a cause for concern, however. He would simply have to take a more active role in the process, especially as his cultivation began to grown in scale once more.

In terms of sheer quantity of spiritual energy, his elements combined seemed to place him at the limits of the Spiritual Collection Phase. But the actual power within him was far greater than could be expected. Each totem, and the fact that they were all fifth tier now, improved the results of any spiritual energy usage before even considering how the elements augmented each other. He also had more combat experience than others who would be at that stage, and his mixed elements were deceptive to people’s senses, making him seem weaker than he was. Just like the mixed elements in Astrein.

Inside his dantian, John focused on the cycle of elements, expending spiritual energy to help his inner world to grow. The core of everything was still darkness. The one tree that had seeded in the great fire now covering the greater number of islands, the roots beginning to grow deep into their soil as young saplings reared their heads above. It was air that ultimately provided most of the structure for growing plants, and though an inner world didn’t strictly follow the physical processes John was used to on earth, the air element certainly augmented the growth of plants and the quality of the soil.

The newly developed sun in the sky, nearly invisible due to the totem that formed it except for it being a source of heat, evaporated some of the water from the seas into the atmosphere, to rain upon the earth. And John knew that at some point, that earth would support the fire’s growth. John made certain all these processes flowed smoothly, adding more spiritual energy where it seemed to need it while trying not to overdo anything in a single part of the cycle. He wasn’t sure what he would have to do for his spiritual energy to return to the levels of higher Phases, whether it would require just time or some greater effort, but he wanted to be as prepared as possible when the opportunity came.

-----

The Brandle clan was quiet, the main source of much of their noise in recent years currently locked up in her room. Verusha only accepted visits from her sister, and even then Emilia reported that they didn’t often talk much. And what they did talk about, she would not say. This made Tirto quite nervous about the whole situation, but ultimately things were out of his hands. He had done his part- whether it was done perfectly was another question. As for whether it was the right choice he made, he found himself coming to peace with whatever happened.

It was better to not let things continue as they were, because while Emilia’s presence was a comfort to him, ultimately it wouldn’t have produced the best results for either of them if they went forward with marriage. Even if Verusha had never been around to influence him, it would have simply meant that years into their marriage he would have felt something lacking. Through no fault of Emilia, of course. She was supportive in the way she best knew how.

“Anything?” Tirto asked as he spotted her down the hallway, presumably having visited her sister.

“Not today,” Emilia said.

Tirto nodded. “I’m still sorry for the way things turned out. I never intended to deceive you, I just didn’t really know what I wanted or needed for myself.”

“I understand,” Emilia replied.

“I also get that my offer of reciprocation isn’t much good at the moment. My shoulder isn’t much good to cry on if I’m the cause of what you’re feeling. But hopefully eventually I can pay you back.”

She smiled, “I don’t think those who care about each other should keep track of specific debts… but I will still keep it in mind.”

-----

It was strange for Emilia to be around her sister and for the latter to be quieter. She was always saying something. This time, however, Verusha surprised Emilia with what she said out of the blue. “How do you know if you like someone?”

“The easiest way is to consider how much you think about someone.”

“But isn’t that, like, what happens if you hate someone? Always thinking about the things that annoy you?”

“It can be that way,” Emilia admitted. “I think the ultimate result is whether or not you feel happy after thinking about or spending time with someone. At least, that is the surface level of things. Humans are more complicated than just that, but if you aren’t happy or otherwise fulfilled… it’s a problem. Of course, it’s still possible to love someone and not always be happy with them.”

“Is it?” Verusha asked.

“Absolutely, dear sister. Because if I always had to enjoy someone’s company, then I could not say I love my own sister.”

“Mmm. But what about, like, with a man? Isn’t that love supposed to be different?”

“In some ways, perhaps. But it should still involve caring about someone. Wanting to nurture them or at least… take care of them in whatever way you can. Even during times when you don’t feel as close. If feelings are entirely different from other sorts of love, it may just be lust. And that is unlikely to be good as the sole basis for a longer term relationship.”

“... Tirto is an idiot.”

“Well, obviously,” Emilia replied.

-----

“Hey! You! The uh… stupid-looking one!”

Tirto slightly raised an eyebrow, though his expression was more neutral by the time he turned around. He hadn’t actually interacted with Verusha in nearly a week, and he wasn’t sure how long he expected it to take. But at least she seemed more like her normal self right now.

Though Tirto turned towards her, he didn’t say anything. That left her standing there awkwardly for a few moments, her hair shifting colors before settling on a light magenta. “I thought about that thing you said. And my answer is that… I don’t have an answer.” Verusha folded her arms in front of her. “But if you don’t mind… I’ll hang around until I figure it out?” The last line was half a question, half a statement. “I personally think you’re an idiot though. I mean, Emilia’s great. I don’t know how anyone would choose someone else over her.”

Tirto smiled, “I think we agree on that. But that is how things are,” Tirto shook his head. “But maybe I can convince you it’s not as crazy as it sounds. You do have likable qualities yourself, after all. Like being full of energy, most of the time.” Tirto had more, but he didn’t want to collapse the delicate situation that had fallen into place.

Verusha scratched her head. “Yeah. I suppose. On that topic… want to spar? I’m apparently not very good against pure water cultivators. Or darkness and… whatever else your dad is.”

Tirto raised an eyebrow prominently this time. “You want me to teach you how to defeat me?”

“Who else will be better at it?”

“A fair point,” Tirto said. “I suppose we can do our best.” Though her mother might actually be the best option there, given her experience with both water and fire.

-----

John nodded to himself. He had grown somewhat concerned that his son was going to become a womanizer. Even if he didn’t seek them out, John had to admit that Tirto inherited many attractive qualities. Good looks, status, and talent. Though it did make John somewhat relieved to find that the only individuals Tirto was seriously considering were probably not interested in two of those. But physical attraction never hurt.

Disaster had been averted, but only by causing a smaller crisis instead. John wasn’t sure if he could have come up with better advice had he been around more, but it was already too late for that. He could accept the results he’d achieved just now. But soon it would be time to move on. Not because he didn’t want to catch up with Tirto more, but because he had another daughter he needed to check on.

Ursel was currently off in the Viridia wildlands somewhere, stomping around. Training was the word some would use, but the news that had made it back to John’s ears told him that it was a little reckless, even by her usual confident standards. And while he didn’t expect to convince her to give up on her training, he could hopefully convince her to bring someone with her.

If not himself, than some disciples of a friendly sect. Or perhaps Crystin could watch over her, though it would probably take some convincing for her to let John return alone. His cousin had latched onto him after he returned to the Tenebach clan after his little adventure. She was thinking about the good of the clan, of course. It wouldn’t do for the clan head- or former clan head- to die in battle. Especially not to someone weak, which by John’s standards for power was uncomfortably possible at the current moment. So she’d come along, but she naturally stayed out of the way most of the time.

-----

The trip from the Brandle Clan to the Viridia Wildlands left John with a lot of free time. Cultivating was part of that, of course, but he also had to expand the scope of his efforts. He wasn’t ready to go back to crazy plans of taking control of the region just yet, but he realized there were interpersonal bridges that might still require some work.

He always did his best to show his appreciation for the guards he had, but like everything else that had fallen by the wayside in the last few years. Even so, Crystin had continued to follow along with him without complaint, and without even being asked.

“How does it feel, spending all that effort keeping the clan head alive only to see him basically ruin everything after a single setback?”

She watched him for a few moments before responding. “The death of your wife may have been a single setback, but nobody could say it was insignificant at any level. It is perfectly understandable. Besides, it was the duty of us guards as the strongest members of the alliance to keep her safe as well. We failed.”

“It was a war. A war against a well established Ascending Soul Phase cultivator. It was our responsibility to lead the alliance into battles it needed to participate in and could win. And she… knew what she was doing. Nobody could have stopped her when things came to that.” John shook his head. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you were the clan head instead? If you had been born into the main branch?”

“I don’t have to wonder,” Crystin said. “I know perfectly well. The clan would have collapsed. I have seen the burden of leadership you carried, and I am aware of my own limitations. Besides, I can’t be disappointed in what you managed for the clan. In a single generation, the clan went from having no Consolidated Soul Phase cultivators to having multiple.”

“The whole region grew stronger,” John pointed out.

“But it is the alliances you forged that grew the most out of any. It was that core that faced the Molten Sea head on, and the cultivator Gesine. Not only that, but you emerged victorious.”

“It still doesn’t feel like it,” John admitted. “Not with what we lost.”

“Then we shall simply have to make sure that nothing is lost again.”

“You think we can?”

“I know you intend to try. I can tell you haven’t given up. You are not quite the same as you were before, but I recognize the quiet confidence in you. And I am used to feeling your abnormal cultivation. Your cultivation is not permanently damaged, I don’t think.”

“I hope you’re right,” John admitted. “But even if it was, I wouldn’t give up on doing the best thing for those I care about. It would just be a whole lot harder.”