“On another note, while of course I'll put up a full video on this with the level of quality you all expect from the Inthecorner channel, I can't say I fully covered the day here without mentioning the playable version of Commandment of Hero: Ersatz Struggle that was made available for people to play, and of course I played it. Without going too deeply into it, I can confirm it's exactly what you think. It's an ISOT game, it's made by true professionals, you're going to like it, I'm going to love it.

“The main system that's different from their other games, though it isn't uncommon in the genre, is the guard gauge. It looks like certain moves bring it down more than others, particularly ones that are labeled with an 'Intimidate' tag in the movelist, so I suppose that's something taken from the source material. I haven't gotten around to playing Commandment of Hero yet like I hoped I'd be able to, sorry guys, that's on me. I'm sure fans will be happy though.

“I hope they're happy about the roster too. I'll try to take the temperature on that soon, because there's a good chance this is the final or near-final roster based on the way ISOT has done things in the past. The characters definitely come alive and show their distinctiveness even in this early build, and though there's some roughness there, I can tell it'll all get smoothed out from playing these two you can see in this footage, that's Bel and Waltzing. They feel great, and I love that she's a centaur, because how often do you see that? She's my favorite so far, but wait for the upcoming video report to hear my opinions on the rest of them, the stages, the music, some promising combos I saw there, all of it. Be sure to Like and subscribe too so we can keep bringing you this kind of content, and see you again later today if the upload is nice and speedy.”

Familiarity breeds illiteracy. Officers looked straight at the dining hall monitor or the display above the data renewal facility's entrance without registering the actual words on them. They continued without interruption their discussions of whether Sibyl seemed more of a summery or a Christmasy kind of personality long past when they ought to have noticed. Fortunately, the policy of encouraging foreigners to visit the plaza by a combination of advertising and laying tiger traps everywhere else they might want to visit finally redounded to the benefit of someone other than Wruden Calx, his backers, and balloon enthusiasts. A certain Jay glanced at the facility's sign, gave it a textbook double-take, and with the attention-drawing voice of a Vanilla Stage talent said, “Oh, we can play an early build of your spinoff. Cool, cool. I like to see works in progress. There's something raw about them that really appeals to me.”

It was true. He did like to see works in progress. But also, the sign did tell anyone with functional vision that for a limited time only, the center was open to the public and had stations equipped with a playable version of Ersatz Struggle. Officers raced for the door, bouncing off the walls and one another in their refusal to pay attention to their surroundings since, properly speaking, their surroundings ought to have considered their convenience and adjusted themselves accordingly.

The humbler officers who expected no such accommodation somehow made it through first. Ebulan Prav tried the middle door which, unknown to him, led to the motion capture area. Finding that locked, he took one of several side passages, which led him to a room which contained rows of consoles locked up inside clear plastic along with monitors and controllers secured by chains. Skaya made it in next, then Clazdius Oranio, Hilliarde Feablas, and Lynissia all the way to the general public, including even the non-officers.

Which of them did such an opportunity to try out the spinoff, play as his favorite officer (possibly himself), make bold statements about tiers and matchups certain to be proved wrong later, and mock friends for their lack of skill at this game nobody had a chance to play before not excite? Evening Best. That was all. Even Liya and Sigmund could get worked up over fighting games for a few hours.

A few hours? Too short to get bored and too long not to set up a local tournament, the participants judged. Dosellian Urapta insisted it be double-elimination, for which he was punished by being forced to spend the rest of the trial period explaining how double-elimination tournaments work instead of playing. He dragged in Dennet and Coremel to help manage the affair, who thereby earned the reward of getting to watch other people play instead of having to deal with complaints about their obviously unfair victories.

Errors and oversights naturally occur during impromptu competitive events. That makes them the best kind of competitive event, since excuses are always closer to hand than nachos. The other players in my bracket colluded! My controller had buman slime on it! Dosellian Urapta pressured me into playing a different character so he could see all of them in action! All of those things were true, and all of them contributed to the happiest possible result in that nobody came away believing himself to be a loser. Except for the Rares, but for unrelated reasons. Maybe the Commons. Even they put in an appearance. Regardless, everyone had a good time and remembered not to take the results too seriously. Somewhat seriously. Nobody cried.

“Maybe a couple months ago I would have had to take up a bunch of time with disclaimers about early builds, day-one tier lists, and all that junk, but today I'm just going to discuss meaningful fallout from the tournament and trust everybody to be level-headed about it.”

Count Poitnem nodded. “Please proceed, Zimley Boe.”

“Sure thing. Not to belabor the fact, but Aerywe Beruvo took first, played by Bridal Quirceal. All that victory made her chatty, so I got to listen to her temporarily authoritative opinions. I suggested she make an eighty-minute video, but before that, the relevant point is that she thinks our guy might be the bottomest of the bottom tier. Did I get that right, Quirce?” She turned to her right and got a quick nod from Newlywed Quircy, who was looking over her video script for revisions.

Kindo pointed at Quircy. “I didn't want to say anything myself, but when the champion agrees, I guess it's fine. When I played Count Poitnem, as him I mean, I struggled hard against anyone who can jump.”

“I'll steal that line for the video.”

“Hey, thanks, champ. The obvious solution seems to be to aim some of your shots up. Different angles for light, medium, and heavy and all that.”

Count Poitnem leaned forward. “I confess to some confusion. Aren't enemies always on the same level?”

“That has been my experience,” Hilliarde Feablas confirmed.

Hyune Giling closed the book in his hands, which did in fact contain tips on not being a scrub. “In an honest game, certainly. Hilliarde Feablas, do you recall fighting against the ships of Furious Galaxy and Universe Testament? They flew above us, I believe.”

“I do. They slipped my mind, though I understand that sort of behavior is common over there.”

Count Poitnem smiled. “Here, of course, we would deem it rude to hover like that.”

“Yes. And fighting games . . .” Hyune Giling pushed up his glasses. “. . . Are exceptionally rude.”

“I'll start straightaway.” Count Poitnem rose.

“Your hero TrupinL has returned, and I bring tidings of yon Ersatz Struggle. Forsooth! Don't worry, I won't do the whole video like that. I'm just excited because I got my chance to check it out, and my early impressions are that I'm happy I didn't hate it. Licensed games and spinoffs are a gamble every time. For every T******** vs. C***** there's a game not made by C*****. So that's the first point, it's a real game, it's playable, it's no S*** W*** whatever that thing was called. On the PS1. T**** K***, that was it.

“Moving on, as disappointed as I am that Gaelvry got stuffed in the same slot with Aerywe, this might be the first time I ever main a puppet character. I've reflected on that, and I think what they were all missing before was big axes. I mean plural. S***** L***** from the P****** fighter only has one, which isn't enough. Actually, now that I think about it, the key might really be that it's easier to conceptualize what the secondary character will do when they have the same weapon.

“I have a confession to make. I hope you can all find it in your heart to forgive me, and to Like and subscribe too, when I say that I ain't even know who a bunch of these dudes are. I'm talking about Charlotte, no wait, Darlotte, Marileanna, Waltzing Matilda . . . Who are these guys? I drifted away from Command too early I guess, because they all seem pretty fun. Waltzing Matilda in particular felt like she has just sort of a smoother flow, like she's more done than the others. Maybe she was the first the team worked on for some reason. Her and Bel Felicitous Fasde, but I know who he is. Super-strong Warper. That's like a mage, so it's odd to see him dragon-punching left and right.

“If there's one character who plays exactly the way I thought he would, it's Gradis. You don't even have to play Command, just look at him and you know what he does. It's tough sometimes to have more than one grappler and make both of them stand out, but I think they're doing a good job with Cha—Darlotte. Right now, she's kind of my backup if I realize I can't hang with puppets after all.”