《Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey》Chapter 42: Douc douc goose

Advertisement

Name: Natasha

Race: Human lvl 10

XP: ?

Size: 175

Type: Person

Faction: Unaligned

Armor: 0

HP: ?

Strength: 8/Speed: 11/Endurance: 8/Magic: 8/Plasticity: 5/Luck 10

Senses: Vision 4, hearing 4, smell 4, taste 1, touch 2

Abilities: Balance 2, omnivorous 4, aposematism 3, specialized innate magic 6, Voice 1, coordination 2

Skills: Piercing bite 6, Jab 8, grapple and strike 7, precise throw 7, agile climb 7, nimble sneak 6, hide 1, rapid dash 6, dodge 2, block 1, discern weakness and strength 6, mysticism 1, quickstep 1, tumbling 1, leadership 4, mystic channeling 1, adaptability 1, infliction 1

Spells: Wind drake breath 6, windfury 5, jetstream 1, cloud step 1, thunder missile 1, misty path 1

Boss ability: mob boss

Lao Tzu

Mandrill lvl 5

HP:25/25

Tony Luciano

Mandrill lvl 5

HP: 25/25

I watched the crowd of faceless creatures pouring out of the door, and onto the street, but I wasn’t going to stand there waiting for them to come to me. The wind buffeted around me as I jolted forwards, I moved fast enough that there was hardly time for the first one to react as I brought down the knife into the collar. It practically dragged the thing down as I put all my weight into it.

The rest tried to grab at me, save one who had swung with a hammer. I didn’t need to do much to dodge besides taking a step back but they were already diving after me. The one I stabbed was still standing, but came after me again, stumbling forward to try and grab my arm. The assistance of the wind was more than a little bit of a benefit, keeping out of their reach, and watching as the injured one was simply trampled by the rest.

I kept backpedaling, making an effort to try and keep one between me and the rest of the group. That way I’m at least only facing one at a time, despite their attempts to spread out and surround me. From the group, two jumped out at once, first the one with the hammer, and second was one that was pulling another handgun. The fact that he didn’t just open fire until now, tells me that they at least have some sense of not wanting to needlessly destroy each other. Otherwise it would have just shot me through the crowd.

I dodged out of the way before it could fire, the wrist whipping down to try and meet where I’d dodged. Though I quickly caught the wrist in hand and pushed the arm up before it could shoot. I may be quick, but there’s no way I’m dodging bullets. My other hand was holding the knife, and as it was trying to wrestle the gun arm free, I took the knife and stuck it right in the ribs. Though in all the chaos, the one with the hammer still managed to hit me directly on the back. I felt the dull thud, and it nearly kicked the wind out of me, but the gunman was collapsing.

I withdrew the knife as I gasped for air, widely swinging my arm as I turned. I clipped my elbow on the shoulder of the one with the hammer, and it stumbled slightly, but that’s when jetstream faded, and the crowd of them were already reaching out, one grabbing the collar of my shirt and yanking me in. A surge of wordless panic filled my mind as I was pulled in, feeling another hand grab me, then another, and another.

At this point I wasn’t fighting, I just blindly stabbed the knife into the closest body, unable to tell the difference at this range. That is until they grabbed the arm and wrestled it back, pulling me to the ground. They had one each restraining my arms, pulling me to the ground and slamming my back against the concrete. I watched as they raised their feet, the first stomp coming down on my breast, feeling the ribs bend under the impact. I didn’t even realize I’d screamed until the second foot came down on my stomach, knocking the wind out of me.

Advertisement

Each one struggled against the others seemingly fighting over a turn to hit me, but three more kicks made it through, one to the side, one on the chest, and one across my cheek on the already injured jaw. I was struggling, but ten seconds is much longer than you’d think, waiting for my magic to cooldown. The metallic tang of blood filling my mouth. I was fully expecting to die here. What I was not expecting was for my own doppelganger to come out of nowhere, jumping onto the back of one of the things and biting into its neck.

I didn’t have any time to process this before the crowd split, and half of the remaining eight went after the doppelganger. The other half stayed to keep stomping on me. Two more feet coming down. One stomping on my hip, the other kicking my ribs. Then I heard another gunshot ring out, and one stepping on me fell over dead. I flicked my eyes up and saw yet another doppelganger of me leaning out of the guest room window, holding the gun that was dropped earlier.

In the confusion however, I brought my leg up, landing a kick right between the legs of one of the creatures. I don’t know if they have anything between those legs, but judging by the reaction it gave as it fell over, they probably do. Another gunshot rang out, but I didn’t see what it hit. I just turned my attention to the ones holding my arms I wasn’t stronger than them, but ten seconds had passed, and I took in a sharp breath, planting one misty path landmine under its chest and one quick tug, just enough to shift it slightly, sending the thing rocketing into the air.

I rolled over, one arm now free as it grabbed onto the shirt of the remaining one holding me down. I practically jumped on it, legs wrapping around its waist as I bit down on the shoulder. It fell onto its side, but all that really did was leave an opening for me to bite down on the thing’s neck. I felt it shatter and crumble around the corners of my mouth as the thing went limp and I’d wrestled my arm out from under it.

Another gunshot, and my eyes flicked up to the shooter following the trail, to see it had shot at the ones attacking the other doppelganger. Good to see all of the mes seem to be on the same side. I turned my attention to the one on the ground having landed a few feet away after being launched, and the one writhing from the harsh kick I’d delivered. The other me looked to be struggling with two left, just wildly swinging trying to keep them back, including the one with the hammer.

I found the knife I dropped, snatching it up and just going for a coup de gras on the writhing one, circling around behind it and stabbing at the jugular. The last one was standing up, having managed to right itself. Little did it know, I had three more landmines. Airmines? It started for me, but I huffed and a mine was placed dead center right in front of its chest. It looked like it was kicked by a horse the way its head whipped back, clattering onto the asphalt. I was going to run towards it but a gunshot finished it before I could.

I looked to the last two, and how they were trying to surround the doppelganger, so I placed another mine behind the doppelganger, so that when the one rushed in, it was thrown back, which gave me the opportunity to run up, pouncing on it with the knife and stabbing wildly down into the stomach as it tried to grab my hair and pull me off. Though as I did, I realized the knife was not cutting so much as ripping, as the blade was bent.

Advertisement

Still, it did the job, even if it came out even more gruesome than usual. Looking less like shattered porcelain and more like a punctured sand bag. Slowly draining until the thing stopped fighting. I gave a few labored breaths, half sure that I had a broken rib as I stumbled to my feet again. I looked back up to the doppelganger fighting the last one. I set the last mine down right in the way of the legs as it tried to rush forward with the hammer, being sent tumbling end over end as the legs were shunted out from under it.

Though before I could rush in to finish it, the doppelganger ran out throwing a wild haymaker down into its face and fairly brutally pummeling the thing on the ground. Seeing myself in third person beating the thing was almost surreal… What am I talking about? It was surreal. Everything here is surreal by definition. I keep forgetting that this is a hallucination. Still, seeing myself in the third person, beating something to death made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.

The blows landed and it took longer than I was happy with, but eventually one punch to the temple and the thing shattered. I sat back, huffing slightly as the pain in my ribs kept me from getting any more than a shallow breath in. I walked tentatively over to the other me, looking more closely at her, and she looked pretty much identical to me. Same hair, same shirt, and pants, both bare feet. Only difference was that we had different injuries.

“Um… thanks.” I said, not knowing what to expect from her in return. She looked up at me, her own breathing still labored from the fight, and gave a smile, but no answer. I looked back up at the window to see if the other one was still there, but she was coming down the stairs. She came out of the building, running up to the two of us, and again an exact copy, though she wasn’t injured at all.

I just tried to catch my breath for a bit, looking around the road, and towards my house again. I was wanting to go back inside, up to my own room and lay on my own bed for once in a long time, and sleep. Maybe cook something in my own kitchen again… Well that’s a lot of effort. Maybe heat some leftovers if I have any.

That’s when I felt like something was off. Or, rather more off than this place already was. I could feel something different, but couldn’t place as to what it was. That’s when I realized, I could hear the sound of a car coming down the road. I turned and saw the bus, though rather than just driving it was barreling down the street at breakneck speeds.

I blinked, taking about a full second before realizing the bus wasn’t just speeding, it was aiming for us. I practically scrambled to the other side of the road, running up to a streetlight and quickly scrambling up to the top. I looked back and saw the other mes scrambling up the side of the building instead, and the bus went screeching past, slamming on its breaks as it turned, and somehow not rolling over.

The bus swerved, turning towards me, and speeding up again. I was luckily sitting at the very top of the post. I watched as the grill on the front of the bus opened up and inside was a mass of grinding gears, though they were spinning more akin to buzzsaws. I am not a car girl, but I’m pretty sure that this is not how buses are supposed to work. Even more so, I’m absolutely certain that they don’t jump. Which is what I watched this bus do, jump up, and snap its hood down like it was trying to bite me.

Fighting weird humanoid faceless doll things was one thing, but a living nightmare bus with the mind of a feral dog is something else. I watched the hood snap down just a few feet below me, my heart nearly skipping a beat as I saw just how high it was able to reach. This was bad. I cannot get down, and even if I could, I can’t outrun a car. I have no guarantee that the next jump isn’t going to reach me either.

It swerved around, with a screech of the wheels, slamming on the gas again to go for another jump. What am I supposed to even do here? I readied myself to jump, and waited for it to try and pounce again, seeing the grill open up into whirring gears and shooting up towards me. I waited until it was just a few feet below me before jumping off and landing on the bus’s roof. Reaching over to the side and gripping at a window ridge.

I held on as it swerved again, but as it turned, I watched as it spotted me in its side mirror, apparently those are like eyes for the thing. It then started to tip over, and I started to fall off, it was trying to roll over me, and crush me under its bulk. Luckily I was able to climb over it as it tried, and jump off the other side, tumbling across the asphalt. It seemed to effortlessly roll all the way over and back up onto its wheels again, quickly swerving to face me again.

Meanwhile I could barely catch my breath, the pain in my chest swelling as I rolled over to the pile of humanoid bodies, spotting the discarded revolver on the sidewalk. It wasn’t much, but it was something. I stumbled over, grabbing for the pistol and fumbling a bit to get it into my hand. I grabbed the handle, aimed, and as I saw the grill open up again, I gave a sharp breath, the wind surrounding the tip of the gun as I cast thunder missile.

Now, a gunshot is already loud, but this shot was practically deafening. A thunderous boom and whipping of air projected the bullet towards the open grill and it erupted into a shower of sparks and grinding metal. Seeing one gear actually go flying past me. The bus stopped in its tracks, a loud screech from the tires as it burned out in place, turning on the spot and whipping around again. The back end slammed into the side of a building and I felt the ground shake.

I took the opportunity to drag myself off the ground, and tried to climb up the side of the building again, though I could already hear the bus revving up to charge again. I hauled myself up onto the second floor window before hearing the winding of gears below me. It managed to jump up as high as I was, but the grill snapped shut just off to the side. I pulled the gun again and shot at the windshield, but it looked like it did nothing, practically bouncing off. Though maybe it should be expected that something that’s built like this would have bulletproof glass.

Once it started to fall back down again, I continued to climb, making it slowly up above the second floor window, and above where it could reach with a jump. Still, it tried snapping just below me, before I heard more gunshots plink off the bus's roof, seeing the other two mes shooting at it, but it had no effect. Still, there was no way for a bus to get up onto the roof at least. Or so I thought.

I watched in horror as the wheels dug into the stone, grinding against it as it started hauling its weight up, slowly but steadily. I was getting really tired of this hallucination world and its stupid lack of physics. Still, I brought my gun up again, feeling the seconds tick past as my pseudo lung filled again, and I was about to go for another thunder missile, but it reached the roof before I could. I watched as the grill opened up and with surprising speed, launched forward, snapping down on my leg.

Everything below the knee disappeared, and funnily enough I didn’t even feel a thing. I was lifted and thrown as the front wheels turned, throwing me off the building. I looked down and there was just a stump where my knee was and a splash of red. I was falling a long way, thrown maybe fifty feet down the street before landing on my hip, with another loud crack. Feeling came back to me in a wave all at once, and it felt like my entire lower half was screaming. I squeezed my fists tight, accidentally firing off another bullet into a nearby wall, reminding me that I was still holding the gun somehow.

My eyes opened, and I looked down to my one leg, then up to the bus as it fell off the building, swerving again to face towards me. The fear that had gripped my chest moments ago gave way to a tide of red that filled my vision, gritted teeth that tasted like my own blood, and raised the pistol again. A bullet might bounce off the windshield, but there’s a limit to how much wind it can shield you from.

I watched the grill opening again as it barreled towards me, wind swirling around the tip of the gun before the loud CRACK rang out again. The shot flew dead center into the windshield, cracks spider-webbing across the glass before shattering in the same instant. The grill dipped down into the ground, sparks flying off of it as it ground to a stop in front of me, still moving, but clearly crippled. So I just took the gun and unloaded all the rest of the shots into the driver’s side until it stopped moving.

After it was done, I flopped onto my back, just looking up at the sky. The pain in my lower half took up so much attention that I was practically blind to what it even looked like. Still, a voice suddenly became present in my mind, asking me a question, but I wasn’t really paying attention to it, so all I really heard was “Yes or no?” I don’t know where it was coming from, nor did I really care.

“Yeah, sure whatever.” I muttered as I dropped the gun. Though as I did, it was like something clicked, the pain was gone, and my focus came back to me. The brain fog that I didn’t even realize was there, was suddenly lifted. I opened my eyes again and looked up to see the orange leaves of the trees with sunlight peeking through the canopy. Then focused again on the screen that was now in front of me, informing me I had points to spend.

I disregarded it, closing the screen and looking down at my legs, they were fine. Totally unharmed, and no pain. So I sat up and looked around, seeing the corpses of dozens of dead goblins and one of that gigantic croco-lizard that I’d seen before. Now the hallucination was starting to make sense somewhat. I pushed myself back onto my feet, seeing the “gun” I’d dropped was in fact one of the goblin bows.

I don’t know how to shoot a bow, so the fact that I figured it out while hallucinating frankly was more impressive to me than anything. I looked around at the goblin village being ruined. Trampled tents, and goblin gore strewn about the ground. I was surprised by just how much damage I’d managed to do while completely out of my mind.

I stumbled around a bit, still a bit wobbly on my feet, but looking at the dead lizard, I was surprised that it only took a couple hits to take it down with how bulky it was. Though when I looked again, I saw what the at shot had actually done, the front of its head was practically gone, and my arrows had been fired directly into the brain. Which, in that case, I’m no longer surprised.

Thunder missile was way stronger than I thought it was. Or maybe it’s that it’s just way better if you are able to hit something important. Either way, I’ll need to keep in mind that it’s probably my strongest weapon now. Since it can manage to kill even these big boys if I aim well enough. I’m still not going to be picking a fight with these guys, but I can at the very least survive them now.

I looked up at the trees again to try and find Tony and Lao, but it took a while to spot them, way up in the high branches of the trees. It’s good to see that they were okay, and didn’t die while I was out of my senses. I’d have been kicking myself if my stupidity led to their deaths. But now that I’m safe… or supposedly so. I checked myself to see if I still had everything, and it was mostly all there, though the pot of blue gunk was shattered on the ground.

I sneered slightly, as I was hoping to keep that on hand. I took a moment to quickly search the nearby goblins for a free pouch, duping out its contents on the ground and walking over to the pile of blue gunk, and scooping up as much as I could into the pouch, fastening it to my sash again. I got over half of it back in the bag, but it’s better than nothing. Next I suppose I should check my status again. Though as I did I was surprised at the difference.

Name: Natasha

Race: Mandrill matriarch lvl 11

XP: 1365

Size: 75

Type: Beast

Faction: Unaligned

Armor: 0

HP: 110/110

Strength: 8/Speed: 11/Endurance: 8/Magic: 8/Plasticity: 5/Luck 10

Senses: Vision 4, hearing 4, smell 4, taste 1, touch 2

Abilities: Balance 2, omnivorous 4, aposematism 3, specialized innate magic 6, Voice 1, coordination 2

Skills: Piercing bite 6, Jab 8, grapple and strike 7, precise throw 7, agile climb 7, nimble sneak 6, hide 1, rapid dash 6, dodge 2, block 1, discern weakness and strength 6, mysticism 1, quickstep 1, tumbling 1, leadership 4, mystic channeling 1, adaptability 1, infliction 1

Spells: Wind drake breath 6, windfury 5, jetstream 1, cloud step 1, thunder missile 1, misty path 1

Boss ability: mob boss

Lao Tzu

Mandrill lvl 8

HP:40/40

Tony Luciano

Mandrill lvl 8

HP: 40/40

So, my leveling up must have been what ended the hallucination for one, and for another, I have enough xp to level up again. Tony and Lao look like they both leveled up three more times. Though their hp isn’t nearly as high as I’d hoped. Are they just not leveling their endurance at all? Or… what if they can’t? I mean, I actively decide to make my stats higher. What if they don’t know how? That would be frustrating. I would like to hope that they are just leveling their strength or speed. Hopefully.

So, what to do with these new points? First stat I wanted to think about was speed, mostly because I don’t like the odd number of 11, but I should maybe be trying to get strength above 10? No, to be honest, speed has been way more useful anyways. I haven’t been able to win hardly any of my fights with brute strength. So I put the point in speed.

My ability point was harder to judge. I had vision, hearing, smell, and omnivorous up to 4, which means they are just shy of upgrading, but also, I really want to upgrade my voice to see if I can make it so I can speak again eventually. Though if I’m honest, voice does feel like sort of a vanity project right now. So which of the others? Omnivorous has some potential for gaining more benefits from food maybe. But sight could have things like night vision. It was a tough call… Though thinking about it, if I can get some kind of healing from more foods, that would be invaluable. I suppose I could risk it, just for the chance. So I put the point in omnivorous.

Now the skills. I noticed when I evolved, that the skills that I started out with at level 1 all got upgraded, so if that happens again, then that means there’s no need to put points in them, cause it’ll probably do that next time too. So I have more points to spread around the other skills. I gave a quick scan over my available skills, but one I really want to get up to six was dodge. If I can get an upgraded dodge that would be great. Unfortunately my dodge is only at 3 right now, but still. Every point counts.

With that point spent, I moved on to grabbing my new skill, and shuffling through them, I came to the same group as I did last time. Spell evasion, spell defense, spell focus, mithridatism. Two defenses against magic, one to make my magic better, and one that looked like a defense against poison, which has been more of a problem recently. So far, I haven’t really had harmful spells used on me except once. So I’ll put that on the backburner. So, make my spells better, or poison defense? Both would be remarkably helpful, but better spells will help against everything, and for now I have a cure for poison. So I’ll save that for next time.

Finally, my spells, I can finally upgrade windfury fully. Then after that I could maybe focus on one of the others, but for now I want to see what I can get from this. I tap windfury, and as soon as I do, I get the familiar three options.

Dual windfury: Cast windfury on two weapons at a time for a higher rate of damage.

Persistent windfury: Windfury lasts longer, sustaining until the cooldown ends.

Windwrath: Increase the effect of windfury, dealing more damage as well as worsening the wounds it causes.

All of these sounded fantastic, and I wasn’t even sure which I wanted. With dual, I could cast it on two knives for a stabby whirlwind. Persistence just sounds like a quality of life upgrade. I could cast it and just keep it on permanently if I wanted. Windwrath sounds like it’s more of a “two handed weapon” attack, which would go great with the ax, if I could use it better. In the end though, the way I use windfury is to be an all in, so it’s probably best if I just maximize that, and go for the dual windfury, doubling the number of attacks I can do sounds too good to pass up.

    people are reading<Life would be so much easier if I weren't a monkey>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click