Back pressed against the wall, Lorelei desperately tried to catch her breath. Her body shook like a leaf in the autumn wind - lost, forlorn, and completely at the mercy of the tempest. The moment she had heard Noah’s voice, her feet had sprang into action. Why did she run away? Why couldn’t she gather the courage to face him?

Her breasts rose and fell, with the undulating motion of stormy waves. Through the thunder in her chest, she could still hear the quiet steps halting before the door. She wanted to hide! She wanted to go out and face him! She… didn’t know what was the right course of action. How could she explain her behavior last night? He didn’t blame her for what happened with Master Argente, but if he knew what her brother and his friends almost did… what would he think?

‘You are the one who seduced your brother and the squires, so why are you crying now? You are a slut, just like your mother, so don’t act pure and chaste with me!’

Her father’s words burned in her mind and forced bitter bile up her throat. Narrowly escaping rape two times was too much of a coincidence. What if Noah doubted her? What if he thought she lied to him about Master Argente and about her brother? What if he accused her of enabling them, willingly frolicing with them, seducing them? What if he called her a dirty harlot, an impure and ruined woman? She couldn’t bear to see the feeling of betrayal and doubt on his face, the disgust and aversion in his eyes. There was no way to prove her innocence for only she and her enemies knew the truth. There was no way she could face Noah right now!

A ball of nerves and pain, Lorelei tried to swallow her tears. On the other side of the door, the silence couldn’t mask his presence. She could hear his heavy breath and the squeaking of leather boots as he moved his weight from one foot to the other. Her knees felt weak. He was going to enter!

However, the steps she expected to advance sounded farther and farther away until silence reigned again, signaling Noah’s retreat.

Relief and sadness coiled in Lorelei’s heart. A small part of her had hoped that he would find her. That he would storm in, demanding an explanation and relieving her of the burden of taking the initiative to speak first. It would have been, as Master Levi liked to say, a painful but quick intervention, far better than the excruciating weight of doubt and uncertainty.

But as the seconds passed, her tumultuous feelings began to settle. Her senses slowly awoke from the numbness of fear. A low, muffled moan jolted her mind back to the present. Looking to the side, she was immediately struck by guilt, seeing poor Milly, standing straight as a candle, her mouth securely gagged by Lorelei’s palm. She hurried to remove her hand and the young maid heaved a sigh of relief. Biting her lips, Lorelei lowered her gaze, dreading the girl’s reaction. She was likely terrified, thinking her mistress was going crazy. And… she wasn’t far from the truth.

A gentle hand touched her shoulder.

“Are you alright, my lady?” Milly whispered. “You are shaking. Is your body feeling weak again?”

“I’m… fine.” Lorelei swallowed hard. “Are… Aren’t you going to ask?”

“Ask what?” The young maid blinked at her confused.

“Well, why… we… why I forced you to hide…”

“Oh, my, it isn’t my place to pry into your and the Duke’s business.” The girl blushed and chuckled. “But, to be honest, I also like to sometimes play little tricks on my Tomash. It’s so funny to have him look for me like he is on the hunt for an elusive doe…”

Milly continued to chatter happily, but Lorelei let the words brush past her ears. Only one thought occupied her mind. Blessed be the sweet girl! She thought that this was a lovers’ game between her and Noah!

Exhaling in relief, Lorelei straightened her clothes and lifted up her chin. She needed to put as much distance as possible between herself and Noah. And there was no better excuse than the initial reason for her morning stroll.

“Let’s go, Milly.”

“But when His Highness comes back-”

“Now, now,” Lorelei mustered her best fake smile, “where is the fun if the hunter catches the prey too easily? Besides, We shouldn’t keep Lady Nelini waiting.”

***

Sunlight streamed through the opened windows and made the nacre flowers engraved in the tea table shimmer in all colors of the rainbow. Two comfortable chairs carved from black wood and padded with velvet cushions were put around it at a slight angle so that the people sitting in them could look at each other but also enjoy the view of the sparkling fjord and the snow-capped mountains in the distance. A high teapot with a long, slim spout shaped like a swan’s neck released the fragrance of mint and lemon balm in the air. The refreshing scent mixed with the aroma of myrrh, olibanum, and other Marzbani incenses, their sweet smoke rising slowly from a small round burner at the center of the table. A platter of dried figs, apricots, oatcakes, tiny cream tarts, and almond sweetmeats was tempting both the nose and the eye. And yet, Lorelei was in no mood for fine foods or beautiful views.

Sitting on the edge of her seat with a rigid back and a cup of untouched tea in her hands, she stared at the old Marzbanati before her. Neli sipped from her drink slowly, her face - the epitome of calmness and contentment. The golden paint covering the branding mark around her eye gleamed in the morning sun, giving her an air of regality.

“Try the tea and sweets, child. I promise, this time I’ve learned my lesson and the treats should be to your taste.”

“I appreciate the lady’s offer, but I’ll have to decline. I fear that my stomach still bears the burden of last night’s banquet.”

“Poor child. The tea will help with your digestion.”

Lorelei remained silent. Neli threw her a sharp look over the rim of her cup.

“You don’t need to be afraid. I’m not foolish enough to officially invite you to my chambers only to poison you.”

“Then why did you send for me?” Lorelei’s tone was polite and cold, but her words and manners still did a good job of masking the uneasiness in her heart.

“Straight to the point.” The old woman sighed and put down her tea. “I do agree that pretentious small talk is out of place between us, Duchess. Very well. Today, I want to talk with you about Noah.”

The sheer mention of his name made Lorelei flinch. She had suspected deep down that the topic of this unwelcome visit would be him. There was no other reason the Marzbanati would even want to talk to her.

“What about the Duke?” The words came with difficulty out of Lorelei’s mouth.

“It concerns your relationship.”

“In what way?”

“Come now. You are too smart to feign ignorance before me on that topic. You are in love with Noah.”

Lorelei opened her mouth to deny it, but the old woman raised her hand.

“I have eyes. I’ve seen how you look at him, how you act around him. And I believe that you too are more than well aware of your feelings.”

Lorelei bit her lips and lowered her head, unable to agree and even more so to deny.

“I also know how Noah looks at you.” Neli’s next words were said with some bitterness. “I’ve known the boy since infancy. He might be hot-blooded and sometimes unpredictable, but he never acts like a fool… Unless you are involved.”

“This isn’t-”

“Oh, it’s true. He merged souls with a Binshi for you. He jumped from a cliff after you. He was willing to use a forbidden relic just to try and wake you up from your stupor.”

“What?!” Lorelei stared at her as her heart raced. “What relic?”

“A cursed armor that devours magic and is nearly impossible to control.” Neli gripped her cup with both hands. “When you fainted after the trial, he believed you were under a spell and tried using the armor to break the curse. One wrong move and the relic could have hurt both of you, but it just shows how desperate he was.”

“But,” Lorelei blinked, “why?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know the answer.” Neli’s hands holding the cup shook slightly. “I don’t believe that you are that oblivious and ignorant.”

“I really don’t know-”

“He loves you.”

The words were quiet but still rang in her ears as if Nely had shouted. Lorelei held her breath, her heart about to fly out of her chest. She had never allowed herself to delve on the possibility and acknowledge it. Even now, it seemed impossible.

“But he can’t love me.” Her lips repeated the words she had mumbled a thousand times in the depths of her pillows. “I am low-born. And he… will be marrying Marzbane Ilmaz.”

“Yes. And despite it all, he loves you.” There was sadness in Neli’s eyes. “He loves you, but he can’t be with you. He has a duty to the Crown Prince. His marriage to Pandad is for the stability of Limeria. He will follow his duty and marry the Marzbane, because this is the shackle of being a ruler. And it’s tearing him apart.”

Lorelei lowered her head and her eyes stung. Scrunching up her skirts, she fought to find her voice.

“Why… are you telling me this? What do you want from me? To disappear? I too know my duty. I’ll be gone in time for the wedding. So please… just until then. I’ll keep my distance from now on. I… I just want… to be able to look at him from afar…”

A warm, dry hand caressed her cheek. With a jolt, Lorelei looked up and met Neli’s gaze. There was unexpected warmth in it.

“I took care of the boy for thirty years. He is as much my son as he is his mother’s. I’m not that heartless as to wish suffering upon my child. And, believe it or not, I don’t want to see you suffer too, little bird. But the world isn’t fair.”

Removing her hand, Neli leaned back in her chair, suddenly looking old and frail.

“I know the pain you are feeling,” she said quietly. “When I was young, the Limerians attacked my home, killed my husband, and took me away. As their captive, I lost my child and was forced to witness my dearest friend become the concubine of the very man that destroyed our home and enslaved us.”

Neli’s hands balled into fists and her gaze became distant.

“I hated the Limerian dogs. They were evil. All of them. I wished to rip them to shreds. To wash the graves of my dear ones with their blood. And in my desperate anger, I attacked and harmed the only Limerian that had shown me some kindness.”

“S-Sir Duncan?” Lorelei whispered.

“Yes. I loathed him. I prayed for his death. And yet… time passed. My friend gave birth to our enemy’s child - a precious little thing. The Emperor ordered me and Duncan to guard the little prince and his mother. As we worked together, as we spent sleepless nights warding off assassins, and as we watched this innocent child grow, we ourselves grew closer.”

Reaching up, Neli caressed the red comb decorating her hair, her fingers tracing the badger carved on its surface.

“At some point, the man I hated became someone yearned for. And Duncan too shared my feelings. But our love was more than indecent.”

“Because you were a slave?”

“Because Duncan was married.”

Neli’s face quivered.

“Hedviga De Moran was a frail woman with a strong spirit. Her marriage to Duncan was a political one. They were more friends than lovers. Duncan is a man of honor. He would never leave his wife, and I believe he loved Hedviga in his own way, so he was torn about our relationship. Even more, since he and Hedviga didn’t have a living child. Duncan had sworn at their wedding that their child will be the next Count De Moran, thus securing the support of Hedviga’s family. He feared that if we were together, our child might be a pretender for the title. And so did Hedviga.”

With a sad smile, Neli briefly put a hand on her stomach before reaching for her waist-pouch and pulling out an old piece of yellowed parchment.

“Lady Hedviga was a dangerous and resourceful woman with one of the best spy networks I’ve seen. And this letter is the result of her research.”

She handed the parchment to Lorelei, who unfolded it with shaking hands. Three finely-written sentences of faded ink compiled a short letter.

“Be grateful that you are barren, for it is the only thing that saves your life. You can have my husband’s heart, as long as I have his seed during my fruitful days of every month until I bear the next Count De Moran. If you try to prevent the act or attempt to harm me and my child in any way, I will kill you.”

Lorelei lowered the parchment and gaped at Neli, who rewarded her with a crooked smile.

“Surprised? This is the true nature of a political marriage. Every woman that is wed for the good of clan and country knows not to expect love or affection from her husband. Power, riches, recognition, and a child to solidify the pact - that’s all a wife can demand in an arranged marriage, be it a knight’s daughter or a princess of a foreign land.”

Rummaging in her waist-pouch, Neli took out a small crystal vial filled with blackish-brown liquid and put it on the table between her and Lorelei.

“It’s called Bitter Water not because of the taste, but because of the bitter decision the one taking it must make. Giving birth at a military camp in the desert amongst the monsters that killed my kin took a toll on my body and left me barren. But because of that, I was allowed a second chance at love. Your case is different. You are young, and even if you leave Ildemar, you can still find happiness and create a family. The choice is yours.”