Epilogue Part II

Time froze. In the private hospital room, saddened and tearful friends and family gathered around Joyce Summers’ death bed—Buffy, Dawn, Faith, Willow, Tara, Giles, and Jenny—their grief hanging heavy in the air. Xander panicked because he was the only one who could move or make a sound. It was like everyone in the room was locked in time.

Instinctively, he assumed he was looping back. The panic was visceral, and his stomach was already sinking and twisting painfully. His heart began pounding terribly in his chest as he looked at each of his frozen friends. His mind was running a mile a minute, recalling everything Sherlock had told him about the possibility of a three-year loop, when—from the center of the hospital bed—beams of bright white began emanating.

Xander’s mind stilled in confusion as he stared at the beautiful mother. Sharp rays of pure light emerged from Joyce, expanding in brilliance with each passing moment. The intensity of the light grew to the point where Xander had to shield his eyes or risk being blinded. However, even his hands covering his eyelids didn’t seem capable of restricting such intense light. Xander felt no heat or discomfort, but it was some time before the light finally lowered in intensity.

As Xander’s eyes adjusted, they fell upon a wondrous sight. Through a cautious squint, he saw Joyce floating above her corpse, casting a mournful gaze upon her three daughters she was leaving behind. A tender and bittersweet smile graced her ethereal features, a farewell etched into its delicate contours. Her angelic gaze shifted to a thoroughly confused Xander, drifting closer toward him. He stepped away in fear, but her smile, oddly enough, quelled his rapidly beating heart, a silent reassurance washing over him.

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice carrying a soothing warmth. With a graceful movement, she soared past Xander, her ethereal form gliding through the air as she said, “Come on. If I stay here too long, I’m going to cry.”

Xander stood there, rooted in place, as he watched her fly through the wall. It wasn’t until she extended her hand through it, her finger gesturing for him to follow her, that he snapped out of his daze and back to this quasi-reality. Shaking off his bewilderment, Xander robotically rushed out of the room, only to come across an unexpected sight—a frozen Spike, leaning against the wall near the doorway, his expression trapped in a state of melancholic contemplation.

Hovering in front of the blond vampire, Joyce observed him with her sharp eyes. “He’s already in love with Buffy,” she remarked, her voice carrying a mixture of empathy and understanding. Xander’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he turned to the forlorn vampire. Joyce speculated, “Every time she goes to your mansion, spends the night, or beats him in your little tournaments… little by little, he fell for her.”

Eying the vampire with renewed curiosity, Xander found enough of his voice to articulate, “I- I thought he and Anya… I mean, I hear them often enough.”

“Those two are quite similar and find comfort in each other,” Joyce revealed. “But what they share isn’t more than that. Just like Anya thinks of you when she’s with Spike, Spike thinks of Buffy. It’s rather sad when you think about it,” she pointedly expressed, before moving down the hall.

Casting a last glance at the desolate Spike, Xander silently acknowledged the heavy weight of unrequited love that burdened the vampire, before rushing to join Joyce, keeping pace with her ethereal presence as they moved down the hall. Finally finding his voice, Xander couldn’t help but inquire, “Where are we going? Please don’t tell me... Did I die, too?”

A gentle chuckle escaped Joyce as she reassured him, “Oh, heavens no. Of course not. This very small window of time exists solely for the apology I owe you.”

Walking around a frozen nurse, Xander’s voice trembled as he repeated, “Apology? What? No, Mrs S. You don’t owe me anything. I should be the one apologizing to you. If I’d have told you sooner, maybe you could’ve-”

“I couldn’t, dear,” she interjected, her voice carrying a mix of tenderness and acceptance. “For reasons and factors you are not aware of, this was and will always happen. There was nothing more you could’ve done. In truth, giving my girls this opportunity to say goodbye was the greatest gift you could’ve given me.”

With everything frozen, they took the stairs down as Xander woefully expressed, “I’m sorry.”

A sad smile played on Joyce’s lips as she turned to face him, her eyes brimming with unspoken emotions. “No, Xander,” she said. “I am.”

Confusion and disbelief written on his face, Xander asked, “Why?”

Her gaze fixed on a distant memory, Joyce confessed, “It was my selfish request that initiated your century of hardship, the impermanence, and the solitude you were forced to endure.”

Xander’s world momentarily shifted beneath him, his mind reeling as his hand gripped the railing. His voice laced with a blend of shock and vulnerability, he stammered, “I- I don’t— …I don’t understand.”

With a touch of sorrow, Joyce revealed the truth with gentle ease. “The Time Braid, dear,” she whispered, her words carrying the weight of revelation. “You went through the Time Braid because of me.”

Stunned by Joyce’s revelation, Xander lost his footing and nearly fell, causing him to come to an abrupt stop on the staircase. Understanding the weight of her words, Joyce allowed him a moment to process before continuing her descent. As he watched her graceful figure float further away, Xander felt a mix of urgency and disbelief, propelling the flustered boy to rush down the remaining flight of stairs. Finally reaching the bottom, he bolted outside, his breath slightly labored.

Looking around, Xander spotted Joyce standing by the entrance of the hospital, standing serenely in front of a bronze-haired man. Xander immediately recognized him. It was Riley—unshaven and slightly unkempt—and he was looking up, gazing at the hospital room where the departed Joyce had resided. In Riley’s conflicted expression, Xander recognized the internal struggle between wanting to be in that room and remaining rooted to the spot.

Observing the turmoil in Riley’s eyes, Xander couldn’t help but empathize with the man. After leaving the Initiative, Riley had lost a brotherhood—had lost stability—and finding his place among the Scoobies had proven challenging; especially when even Tara was capable of beating him when using magic to boost herself, since he no longer had his Super Soldier serum. Having been in Riley’s shoes, Xander intimately understood the man’s feelings of inadequacy and being overshadowed. In fact, when Riley had learned about the Odin Ring he wore, in a desperate desire for power and purpose, he pleaded for Xander to make him a similar ring. The situation soured when Xander firmly refused, recognizing the danger in fulfilling such desperate desires.

As Xander approached Joyce’s side, a mixture of sympathy and regret washed over him, intertwining with the complexity of his own emotions.

The ethereal Joyce commented, “He does love Buffy very much.” Floating around the man, she inspected him slowly before adding, “But he doesn’t love himself. Not yet, anyway. He needs to accept all of what he is before he can truly love another.”

Xander’s concern for Riley was insignificant compared to the revelation of what she’d confessed about his own plight. His voice trembled as he repeated, “You… y-you said-”

“Yes,” she answered with a heavy weight to her voice. Her gaze was a mixture of sorrow and remorse as she floated away from the motionless Riley. “What I asked for was very simple, yet it caused you more pain than I would’ve agreed to had I known. The realization that you would even harm yourself to get out fills me with such shame.”

Xander’s mind was a turbulent whirlwind of overwhelming emotions, but a desperate need to make sense of the chaos forced him to ask, “I- Mrs S… please, I don’t understand.”

They continued their movement, making their way toward the nearby parking structure. As they walked, Joyce began to reveal the truth. “At a point after my passing, I arrived at a place called null-time. There is a force of the universe called the Powers That Be, and then there is a force beyond that I thought of as the Power Above. The best way I can explain it is like this: think of a point in which everything possible, impossible, and imaginable is conceived.” She giggled a little as she remarked, “Even that explanation completely fails to encompass the Power Above.”

Xander’s mind struggled to grasp the profound concept she presented, his thoughts swirling with a mix of confusion and curiosity. He managed to stammer, “I- O-Okay. Why were you there?”

“Buffy,” Joyce answered, her voice filled with purpose. “Becoming a Higher Being means being bestowed with knowledge of the past, present, and future.”

“L-Like Cordelia?” Xander asked, drawing a parallel to his friend’s ascension.

“Precisely,” Joyce affirmed. “So, when I arrived in null-time, I knew, without even being told, that I was there to fight for my daughter. I was there to ask the Power Above to favor Buffy.”

Setting aside the monumental revelation of a Power Above the Powers That Be, Xander’s voice quivered as he asked, “...Y-you did? Why?”

As they neared the parking garage, Joyce’s expression grew pained as she recounted the recurring torment inflicted upon her daughter by the malevolent forces of destiny. Her voice resonated with determination and a mother’s love as she answered, “After everything the mad scientists that designed her life put her through, as her mother, I demanded they give her a better life—a happier life—filled with more joy than sadness. It was too upsetting to not only know but accept that she endures multitudes more pain and suffering than she does actual joy and happiness.”

Her head shook in disbelief, unable to accept the predetermined path that had been laid out for her daughter. Xander’s eyes widened, the weight of her words sinking in, but Joyce had more to reveal, surprising him once again. “For saving the totality of souls on a collapsing dimension by sacrificing her life—yet, again—I felt the Power Above was indebted to her. I was her mother, and if she couldn’t fight for herself, then I would fight for her.”

Xander’s mind was reeling, and with a mixture of curiosity and trepidation, he managed to utter, “Co-Collapsing… dimension?”

“Of course, they refused,” Joyce continued, ignoring his befuddlement. “Not in so many words, mind you. No one actually speaks to the Powers That Be, let alone in null-time with the Power Above. And so nothing changed for Buffy. She was just pushed from one battle to the next, all the while losing friends and allies to the point where she accepted a childless, loveless end to her life. So, rather than asking them to give her a better life that wasn’t absolutely brimming with death, blood, and violence, I asked them to rectify an error on their part—a delusion of theirs, if you will.”

Xander’s voice was barely above a whisper as he asked, “What?”

“Companionship,” she softly responded. They had entered the cavernous expanse of the large parking garage, their footsteps echoing against the concrete walls as they ascended the stairs. Joyce continued her explanation. “I thought, surely it wouldn’t be too much trouble for her to have a companion; a partner to wander the ruins of a collapsed dimension together-”

“You keep saying collapsed dimension,” Xander interjected, his voice tinged with urgency and apprehension. “What exactly are you talking about?”

“Of course, you wouldn’t be aware it happened,” Joyce acknowledged with a sigh. “This plane of existence, with its intricate web of souls and life, is part of a larger stack of interconnected planes. Think of a multi-layered cake where the very top is perfection—basically, heaven—and the very bottom is quite literally hell. Oftentimes, one of the layers in between becomes too heavy with malice, loss, hatred, and death, and it combines with the plane below it, which is always worse. In order to save everyone on the collapsing plane of existence, one heroic soul must stay behind to cast the rest off. And within your lifespan, Buffy was that soul. Now my little girl is destined for a life worse than death. She’ll be trapped in a dimension overrun with the most vile and heinous creatures and spirits imaginable all trying to consume her.”

“But- But,” Xander began, his eyes widened with disbelief as he struggled to reconcile this new information with his understanding. “In my Old Man memories, I thought she just-”

“Died peacefully in her sleep?” Joyce finished. “Those were memories planted into anyone that would question her death,” Joyce sadly explained. “Upon ascending to the plane above, not a single person would know how my baby girl was sacrificed for the greatest good a single soul could possibly do.” They walked out of the garage’s staircase as she told him, “I begged the Power Above to at least allow her companionship in life and beyond. Anyone willing to go through hell with her was fine. I simply wanted my precious daughter to have someone who would love her unconditionally, from beginning to end.”

Xander and the ethereal form of Joyce walked towards a tall figure dressed in a black ensemble with his back turned to them. Xander couldn’t see the face of the man since he was staring ahead, looking at the hospital building across the street from the parking garage.

“And yet, they did not answer me,” she continued. “In null-time, time is irrelevant, and I came to discover what I was missing. I promised them that my death could continue as it always had been.”

Eyes widened in surprise, Xander gasped, “You- You promised?”

With a smile, she nodded before explaining, “She’s my baby girl. How could I not? I didn’t think the Power Above would answer, but It did,” Joyce disclosed, a hint of surprise in her tone. “This reality-altering force consented to allow one soul to join Buffy’s in the collapsed dimension for all of eternity.”

Upon reaching the tall man, Xander realized it was Angel. The handsome vampire was looking into the window of Joyce’s room and the grieving family and friends within.

“I thought they would’ve chosen Angel,” Joyce admitted with a small smile. “He’s been to hell before and embodied a love for Buffy I’m not sure any other man could measure up to. But he also found another after her, didn’t he? I really believe he and Cordelia would’ve been happy if she hadn’t become a Higher Being. She’s doing amazingly well, by the way. That girl is such a go-getter.”

With a wave of Joyce’s hand, they were inexplicably present in three locations at once, and three men stood in line side-by-side: Angel watching from across the hospital, Spike standing by the hospital room door, and Riley looking up at the room from below.

“I waited to see who they would choose for her,” Joyce continued, floating around the men before stopping in front of the ex-Initiative soldier. “Of the three, I liked Riley the best,” she confessed with a small smile. “He was charming, and genuinely nice, which I know aren’t the most attractive traits a young woman looks for, but I like that. The ability to step out into the sun without turning to ash was also a plus.”

Xander managed a small smile, but his humor failed him at this revelation.

Joyce gracefully glided past Riley, her ethereal presence now circling the brunet vampire as she continued to say, “If not Riley, then Angel—in human form—would’ve been a dream. I thought the Power Above might have blessed him with the Shanshu prophecy and rewarded his many good deeds with a human body to go with his gentle soul. He’d be significantly weaker, but his love for Buffy and the happiness he would bring was all that mattered to me.”

Her gaze then shifted to the blond vampire, her expression a myriad of emotions that made her look conflicted. “Spike would not be a choice any mother would accept for their child,” she confessed. “However, I am grateful he abandoned his evil ways and became such a force for good. Even after Buffy passes, he still fights evil in her name, and I find that to be quite beautiful. Sadly, he is still a vampire and only able to engage in one side of her life.” Eying each man, she remarked, “Ultimately, none of them were a perfect fit.”

As the realization dawned upon him, Xander’s voice quivered with incredulity as he asked, “They… they chose me?”

Joyce nodded, and with conviction, affirmed, “Setting Willow and Mr. Giles aside, you’ve been Buffy’s longest companion. You’d follow her anywhere if you could, and the areas in which you were lacking could easily be remedied with some guidance and self-discovery. Most importantly, you’ve loved Buffy your entire life, even when you loved and married Dawn. Once the Time Braid had begun and I realized that they’d chosen you, I thought to myself, ‘How could I have missed something so obvious?’”

Feeling his tone heighten with every word, Xander pleaded to know, “And they couldn’t just tell me this?! A vision, an email, a freakin’ post-it note! Anything!”

Her expression was one of remorse and understanding as she tried to explain, “I swear, Xander, I hadn’t expected them to pick you, let alone put you in a Time Braid.”

Vividly recalling all of his deaths, betrayals, growing pains, and suicidal thoughts, he nearly wept as he yelled, “I was trapped in that fucking thing for over a century! Repeating everything over and over again, like nothing I did mattered! Like I didn’t matter!” His throat was thick with angry words he wanted to let out, but didn’t. It felt like a hot ball was gagging him.

“I know,” Joyce whispered in clear empathy. “Truly, Xander, I know. But once the looping started, it couldn’t be stopped—or I would have, I promise you.”

Xander rubbed his weary face in frustration as he confessed, “I was terrified no one would ever remember me.” Thoughts of Buffy in a dimension full of demons, completely forgotten by her friends, he couldn’t help whispering, “Like Buffy.” With a mixed expression of rage and acceptance, he admitted, “It’s not like I wouldn’t go to Hell and fight right beside her.”

“I know,” Joyce responded.

Xander’s gaze shifted between Angel, Riley, and Spike, eying them with discernment before admitting, “But so would they.”

“Yes, I believe so,” she acknowledged with a nod. “But I asked for a companion from beginning to end. If Angel or Spike were made human to accompany Buffy throughout her life, they would not have accomplished nearly as many heroic acts as they would as vampires.”

“And Riley?” he asked.

“While I don’t believe you two are similar,” she started, making Xander anxious to hear the rest. “I will say your faults very much are: Insecurity issues and a lack of self-confidence.”

“Two peas in an insecure pod, we are,” Xander quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

Joyce’s voice softened as she conveyed, “He hides it well, but running from his limitations is what drives him to be a role model others would aspire to, even if he doesn’t quite believe it himself. As you would say, ‘fake it, till you make it.’ You both share that inclination to run rather than confront.”

“Insecurity really helps your forty-time,” Xander replied sarcastically, recalling his past struggles.

“In the end, I feel they chose you because you’ve been by Buffy’s side the longest,” she said. “You could exist in both aspects of her world, and you had more flexibility when it came to learning.”

“The Janus curse,” he interjected.

“Precisely,” she said with a smile. “You’ve used that quite well. And, of course, your love for Buffy is unlike the other three.”

“In a good way?” Xander asked, eager to hear her assessment of him.

“Oh, yes, very much so,” she assured him with her characteristic motherly charm. “Angel had a very romantic and poetic love—honestly, the stuff of amazing ballads. Spike’s love for Buffy, while real, was rooted in chaos in a way they’d never be able to escape. As much as he could love one woman to the greatest lengths, anything less felt insufficient, which is why they needed the excitement of fighting an enemy. Otherwise, they would simply fight each other. Riley’s love for Buffy had the most potential, but sadly, that’s all it was: idle potential.”

“My turn,” he said with a wry grin.

Joyce smiled at his anticipation before stating, “You’ve already learned the root of your love for Buffy, young man.”

Feeling swindled of some good validation, Xander playfully asked, “Are you seriously going to make me hear about their love for her but not say mine? Come on, I want to hear you say how awesome I am.”

Indulging him like only a loving mother could, Joyce smiled as she casually said, “You’re very awesome, Xander.”

He stared at her with squinted eyes, leveling a suspicious gaze at the angelic mother before remarking, “When you say it in that mom voice, it sounds like you’re just humoring me.”

“No, no, I’m not,” she assured him, her smile genuine. “Despite being less of a fighter, you were always willing to enter the fray, especially when it came to defending your friends. You were much braver than Riley in that regard.”

“…I guess that’s awesome,” he lamely affirmed, recalling how Willow, Oz, and Cordelia did the exact same thing. Moving past it, Xander told her the root of his love for Buffy and how it differed from the others. “Unselfish love.”

“Exactly,” Joyce affirmed. “Though each of them loved Buffy dearly, one saw her as a way to atone for the sins of his past, one used her to satisfy his own base desires, and one used her to hide from his own inadequacies. While I do not begrudge these men for their understandable circumstances, you were uniquely different, Xander. Buffy was your hero. Your love for her never changed, never lessened, even when you were with other women. You were always there for her, and would always be there for her. It’s a love undaunted by time, and I believe that unselfish love made you the Chosen One.”

Trying to hide his grin, he casually jested, “I knew I was amazing.”

Joyce couldn’t help but giggle, her ethereal presence emanating warmth and affection. She continued, “When you change, so too does the world, Xander. So, the thing the Time Braid needed to alter was everything else about you. You needed to love yourself just as much as you loved Buffy. All that you are to be loved—with all that she is to be loved—needed balance. Becoming a capable fighter of evil alongside her was a tremendous boon—since she’d worry less—but what was most important was loving yourself as much as her. The original you wouldn’t have avoided so many opportunities to be with Buffy if you’d possessed the confidence to accept your own greatness.”

Again, with squinting suspicious eyes, Xander asked, “Are you telling me I took the longest way possible of getting out of the Time Braid?” Though Joyce’s smile remained gentle and understanding, her eyes didn’t focus on him. “Really?!” he exclaimed.

She placed a glowing hand on his shoulder as she conveyed, “If it’s any consolation, you were faster than many.”

Furrowing his brow, the curious teen asked, “How many times has this happened?”

Tilting her head in ponderous thought, she replied, “Across all the dimensions of planes of existence of multiple realities? A handful of times. This is a very rare event that even the Higher Beings don’t know much about. The thing that’s most important here is that you did it,” she added, her voice filled with admiration.

Curiosity burning within him, Xander couldn’t help but ask, “What about Faith?”

Joyce took a moment to consider her response before attesting, “While I typically don’t approve of this type of union, I’m well aware that in this specific instance, it will work out—not without work, of course.”

Surprised by her statement—especially considering how much she knew—Xander asked, “Really?”

A mischievous smile graced Joyce’s face as she replied, “Maybe. Who’s to say?”

Perplexed, he answered, “You are.”

“True,” Joyce replied, and didn’t elaborate for him. “Sadly, that’s about all the time we have.”

“Really?” he asked, saddened to be reaching the end. When she nodded, he asked, “Can I hug you?”

“Of course,” she warmly agreed. Joyce and Xander embraced tightly, their connection being one of love and cherished memories. She whispered, “Please take care of my girls.”

“I will,” he earnestly promised.

“And if you even think of adding Dawn to your little harem, so help me-”

Joyce’s playful threat was interrupted by Xander’s quick assurances. “I won’t! I won’t. Promise.”

They reluctantly broke apart, and Joyce imparted her final pearls of wisdom. Her voice filled with a mixture of tenderness and urgency, she advised, “Keep trying to be better, Xander. Every day. Fight sleep, fight procrastination, fight laziness, fight death. Fight it all to be the very best you can be.”

“Because that’s what Buffy deserves.”

Shaking her head gently, she corrected, “Because that’s what we all deserve.”

“I love you, Mrs S. You’ll be missed like crazy,” Xander whispered, his dry throat tight.

Joyce silently mouthed the words ‘Thank you, son’ as her ethereal form faded away, leaving Xander alone with a renewed sense of purpose and determination.

Xander found himself once again in the somber hospital room. The air was heavy with grief as Buffy and Dawn wept unabashedly over their mother’s beautiful—but sadly lifeless—body. Xander embraced Faith, offering her solace, while Buffy and Dawn sought comfort in each other’s arms. Recognizing their need for support, Xander gently shifted Faith’s position, making room for them to console the grieving sisters. Eventually, Willow joined the embrace, their collective sorrow merging into a shared connection of love and unity, reminiscent of the bond Joyce Summers had fostered in all of them.

In the days and weeks that followed, Buffy valiantly suppressed her grief, determined to care for her distraught younger sister. But Xander saw through her facade and offered a different perspective. “You don’t have to be strong for them right now,” he advised her, his tone filled with empathy. “Just show them you’re feeling the same things they are, and I’ll take care of everything else.”

As time passed, the Scoobies slowly resumed their lives, though the wounds of loss remained fresh. Faith returned to the Summers household and took up residence in Buffy’s room, while Buffy herself moved into her mother’s now-empty room, seeking solace in the familiar surroundings. Xander made the decision to sell his mansion—at a price lower than the market—and instead renovated Buffy’s basement into a living space for himself. It was a practical choice, allowing him to remain close to his chosen family and provide support in whatever manner they needed.

——

Since Xander’s best celestial weapons were made for Gods, it meant that Faith’s Blood/Lust, Buffy’s Slaymore, Kendra’s Ordermír, and Xander’s Dreadnought & Hellguard could hurt—and eventually kill—Glorificus without needing Buffy to make the ultimate sacrifice. Sadly, it also killed Glory’s vessel, Ben Wilkinson.

In a cruel twist of fate, Warren Mears still accidentally shot Tara like he had in the original timeline. However, this time, Xander’s quick intervention and medical know-how saved her from losing her life. To everyone’s sorrow, Tara lay in a hospital bed, on life support and, even with magical support, her fragile existence was hanging by a thread. It was a tense and somber atmosphere in the sterile hospital room, filled with the beeping of monitors and the hushed whispers of worried loved ones.

Meanwhile, Willow, consumed by a maelstrom of grief and vengeance, accepted the darkest side of her soul. The lines between right and wrong, sanity and madness, had blurred as her desire for retribution took hold. With a potent mixture of dark magic and uncontrollable rage, she unleashed a horrifying act of violence upon Warren. The gruesome scene unfolded as she tore away his very flesh, a chilling testament to the depths of her despair. The dark magic that fueled her actions threatened to consume her entirely. But Xander’s unwavering loyalty and love for her managed to break through Willow’s dark grief before her powers could destroy the entire state of California.

For the following six months, Willow and Tara left to England to recover together under Giles’ guidance and care.

——

The three-way relationship between Xander, Buffy, and Faith had their ups and downs. When Kendra came to Sunnydale to fight an impending calamity, Faith and Buffy discovered from the Jamaican that she had slept with Xander years ago, and their initial shock and disbelief led to a period of cold distancing. The girls froze Xander out. Buffy needed space to ponder why he never said told her, and as Faith later explained to him, she tagged along to make sure Buffy wasn’t thinking too hard about breaking up with him.

Considering he’d met Higher Being Joyce, Xander knew that the Time Braid was truly over—that there wasn’t a three-year loop. He’d been wondering when he should tell them and, despite how disappointed the girls were in him, he felt this was the best time to come clean. Xander asked them to join him at Wild Dink’s. He had been spending a lot of nights at the shop making Giles’ rapier, thus there was no one else in the building. Xander led them to the employee lounge, where they sat comfortably on the plush couches.

Before a single word could be uttered, Xander took a deep breath, feeling the gravity of the moment settle upon his shoulders. With a mix of apprehension and determination in his eyes, he began to speak, fully aware of the impact his words would have on both Buffy and Faith.

“This,” he started, his voice wavering slightly, “is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say to either of you.” His gaze shifted between them, his heart pounding in his chest.

Buffy couldn’t help but interject, her voice filled with a hint of worry. “Please don’t tell me you slept with another girl.”

On the other end of the brown couch, Faith snorted, amused by the direction of the conversation. “Shiii, I was more shocked you slept with all three Slayers in existence than you sleeping with Kendra,” she remarked, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “But that’s probably because I don’t really know her.”

“Why, Xander?” Buffy asked, her curiosity piqued, and searching his eyes for reassurance. “I’m not mad. I mean, we weren’t even together at the time, so how can I be? But don’t you think having slept with Kendra is something I’d want to know before I saw her again?”

“There’s actually a lot that I think you should know,” he replied, meeting their gazes with an expression of sincerity. “Both of you.”

“Fuck me, it is more girls!” Faith exclaimed, eying him in disbelief. Using her fingers to count, she recounts, “Me, B, Cordy, and Kendra. Who else?”

“Please tell me it’s not someone else I know,” Buffy begged, her voice laced with a touch of desperation.

With a newfound calmness that belied the weight of his words, Xander mustered the courage to confess, his voice filled with sincerity, “I’ve slept with loads of women for a very long time.” The shocked girls blinked with wide eyes to hear such a claim, but before they could respond, he added, “But there’s a lot more to the story. Something happened to me that no one knows about. It’s going to sound absolutely unbelievable, but I guarantee you it’s the truth.”

Witnessing the unwavering conviction in Xander’s serious demeanor, Faith couldn’t help but feel the weight of his words. With a muttered “Okay,” she prepared herself to listen further.

Mirroring Faith’s concern, Buffy leaned forward on the couch and asked with a furrowed brow, “Okay, what is it?”

Xander took a deep breath, feeling nervous but determined to unveil the truth. After clearing his throat, he began. “The reason I think you were both having Slayer dreams about me,” he said. “The reason I slept with Kendra, you, Cordy, and a bunch of other girls. The reason I’m so good at making magical weapons and building bikes. The reason I can fight the way I do… There’s a singular source to all of this. I was trapped in a time loop for over a hundred years.”

As his words sank in, the girls didn’t show any expression toward what they had just heard. They couldn’t comprehend the full scope of his words, so they simply stared at him in confusion.

“I don’t understand,” Buffy said, sitting closer to the edge of the couch. “What does that mean?”

For the next half hour, Xander painstakingly explained the levels of looping and how everything would reset every time he failed to surpass the loop or let a key person die. He delved into his utilization of the Janus curse in his quest to escape and how it allowed him to learn a great many things. He recounted how often he had died, how often he’d felt like giving up, how much his friends helped or hurt him—how dark he had gotten—and they let him speak his piece. They listened intently, engrossed in his words, and rarely had a question for him.

Occasionally, they remarked on certain points of his confession, such as, “That’s why I had all those visions about you!” or, “That’s why you know how to make me cum like a freight train.” Or, a key question like, “Why didn’t you tell us? Why go through all of that by yourself when we could’ve helped you?”

“I couldn’t be sure telling you would actually let me out or ensure I always looped back,” he confessed, his gaze filled with remorse. “I hated lying to you guys—every day, I did—but I needed to get out. I had to get out! Or I… I’d become the very thing you guys slay on a nightly basis. I’d destroy entire countries just to feel something, because nothing I did would matter.”

Allowing Xander's words to sink in, Buffy and Faith decided to take some time to process the monumental revelation. It weighed heavily on their minds as they contemplated the implications. The following day, they gathered in Buffy’s room for more clarity.

With a glimmer of hope, Faith asked, “Are you out?”

“Yeah,” he answered with relief.

With obvious concern on her face, Buffy asked, “How do you know?”

“Your Mom told me,” he replied softly with a small smile. Xander proceeded to relay everything Higher Being Joyce had said, and why the Time Braid had happened to him. When Buffy learned about the hell dimension—where she would likely end up—they postponed their conversation once again. Xander knew this information would weigh heaviest on her; to know her mother would fight for her even beyond the grave due to the unfairness of her destiny… Buffy needed several days to herself before the three gathered again to continue talking.

When Buffy heard of the three men considered to be with her in the hell dimension, she recoiled in disgust and gasped, “Spike?!” She dry-heaved at the prospect of her and Spike together, and Xander was fine with that reaction. “Riley I can understand, but Spike?! How? Why? In what bizarro-universe?!”

“You haven’t noticed how much he looks at you?” Faith asked her sister Slayer.

Buffy’s expression twisted with a mixture of sickness and sadness as she responded, “I mean, maybe, but still! Why would I give him—the guy who tried to kill us multiple times—the time of day?!”

“Because you were stuck in your own hell,” Xander solemnly answered. He delved into the complex dynamics of Buffy’s relationship with Spike in the original timeline. He revealed the circumstances of Buffy’s sacrifice to save Dawn and subsequent resurrection, as well as the depression she experienced—feeling less than human. “Spike was pretty much the only guy who could make you forget how depressed you were,” Xander was loath to admit. “Trust me, I get it… The depressed part—not the sleeping with Spike part.”

Throughout the story, Buffy appeared sickened and saddened by the revelations. She remained silent, processing the information and grappling with the emotions that flooded her. Xander couldn’t help but wonder how much she truly comprehended on an intuitive level, even if it was only peripherally.

By the end of the toxic tale, Faith couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer and asked, “Would you follow her to that hell dimension Mrs S mentioned?” The tone of her voice told him that she genuinely wanted to understand Xander’s unwavering dedication.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Xander saw the answer in his heart and smiled before asking her, “Wouldn’t you?”

Faith’s gaze shifted to Buffy, eying her thoughtfully. After a brief moment of contemplation, a warm smile graced her lips. Buffy smiled as well—a smile of shared bonds and unspoken dedication. All three of them knew the answer. They understood the depth of their connection and the lengths they would go to protect and support each other. Faith wouldn’t let Buffy go down there alone just as much as Xander wouldn’t. That realization touched Buffy—to be loved to such an extent—and made her unfair destiny feel more tolerable. Though no one said as much, somehow, they all felt more confident in their choice to be together, even if their relationship wasn’t typical.

As such, Faith playfully attempted to introduce the idea of a foursome with Kendra to Buffy, but it was met with a quick refusal. Xander was fine with that decision, because despite being attracted to Kendra, he would never risk anything with Buffy and Faith for something so casual.

——

Though things in his relationship with his Slayers were in a strange place, Xander hadn’t expected to one day walk in on Buffy and Spike having sex. He nearly lost it. The sight of them in bed together struck him like a blow to the chest, and drove head-first into one of his greatest fears: losing Buffy to Spike. He’d always had a deep-seated fear that Buffy simply preferred vampires over humans, and that he had simply deluded himself into believing she could ever love him.

Overwhelmed by the surge of emotions, Xander's instinct was to run away, just as Joyce had mentioned. But a newfound determination welled up within him, urging him to confront the situation head-on, to fight for Buffy and seek an explanation, no matter how terrifying it seemed. He found her once again and the second she smiled at him—as if all was right with the world—Xander understood that something wasn’t right.

Tentatively, he asked, “How’s Spike doing?”

Buffy looked at him in confusion before asking, “What are you talking about?”

In an instant, Xander understood what had happened; Spike still had Warren make a robotic replica of Buffy in this timeline and orchestrated the entire encounter. Xander, Faith, and Buffy confronted Spike and lightly tortured the truth out of him. Apparently, the vampire had planned for Xander to angrily break up with Buffy after seeing her having sex with him. His plan was for Xander to doubt Buffy’s claims that she hadn’t cheated and Spike would swoop in and console her, exploiting her vulnerability.

However, Spike hadn’t counted on the depth of Xander’s love for Buffy. With a piercing gaze into her beautiful greenish-blue eyes, Xander knew that it wasn’t his girlfriend. The event certainly touched on a fear of Xander’s but not enough to doubt Buffy. They soon uncovered Buffy’s robot lookalike that Spike used to trick Xander. After getting his head nearly punched off of his shoulders by Faith, the vulnerable vampire proclaimed to Buffy he did it all because he was in love with her. Buffy reminded him that he hadn’t learned anything significant about love yet, and that she couldn’t possibly fall in love with someone like that.

For some odd reason, this changed Buffy’s mind about having one foursome with Kendra. Xander nearly died that night from pushing his body to its very limits, satisfying three vigorous Slayers. Achilles, Sherlock, Casanova, and even Nox told him the battle would be impossible to win without an equalizer, so Xander used all his skill, knowledge, magic, and toys to thoroughly satisfy the carnal beauties.

——

It was a pure blessing for the Scooby Gang to learn that Faith was pregnant. The spirited Slayer blamed Xander for the sheer volume of cum he unloaded inside his girlfriends, but he was far too happy to feel her tepid ire. Buffy and the rest of the gang were also thrilled. It was the happiest occasion they’ve had in a long time.

That was why it was a collective punch to the gut when Caleb, a formidable adversary, brutally attacked Faith, leaving her hospitalized and no longer pregnant. Xander lost his eye attacking Caleb on his own, but with Willow’s magical talent and Odin’s ring, it grew back. Xander was feverish with anguish, but Faith was so distraught, she had to leave them after they killed Caleb.

Buffy and Xander endured an entire year without seeing Faith, never fully feeling whole the entire time. When she finally returned, the reunion was more bitter than sweet, but after a lot of close calls in battles with high stakes, Faith eventually recalled her joy and love for them and the three got back together. After the three found their way back to each other, years of happiness followed.

The world would eventually learn about the existence of supernatural threats—if not in the same way as Xander’s original timeline—and the Slayer Organization was the front line to protect humankind. Due to social media, the Scooby Gang quickly rose to fame on a global scale. Buffy, Xander, Willow, Andrew, Giles, Dawn, and occasionally Faith became household names, appearing on television, delivering public emergency announcements, giving worldwide addresses, and publishing many books on slaying and their autobiographies. Even the catchphrase “five-by-five” gained more popularity than the term “cool.”

Whenever someone recorded their fights, they were immediately uploaded on YouTube and garnered hundreds of millions of views. They became sought-after figures, with global leaders and celebrities clamoring for pictures and associations with them, eager to demonstrate their support. The Scoobies were showered with so many gifts, they needed to create a department in the Slayer Organization to receive and redistribute the gifts and gratuity to others who were more in need of them.

In the midst of their ever-growing fame and recognition, Xander, Buffy, and Faith took a significant step in their relationship. Although their union wasn’t recognized by many who had preconceived notions of a relationship, it didn’t diminish their commitment to each other and they got married. It wasn’t lawfully approved by the government, but they didn’t care. They exchanged specially crafted promise rings Xander made and held an intimate ceremony surrounded by their closest friends and family. Willow and Dawn were the Maids of Honor, Giles gave Buffy and Faith away, Oz was Xander’s best man, and Tara officiated the ceremony. Before their loved ones, both living and those who had passed, the three vowed their eternal love and devotion to one another.

The after-party was filled with joy and celebration as the newlyweds basked in the love and support of their friends and family. Laughter and music filled the air, and the venue was adorned with colorful decorations. Buffy, Xander, and Faith, dressed in elegant attire, couldn’t help but feel a sense of contentment and fulfillment.

However, the festive atmosphere took a turn when a drunk Spike stumbled into the party. Sensing Spike’s inner turmoil and the rising tension, Xander forced the vampire away from Buffy and into a private room. Inside the dimly lit space, Xander tossed him on a couch and revealed to him Old Man Xander’s memories of his relationship with Buffy. Xander wanted Spike to understand that he needed to be good for his own sake, not for someone else. Not even for Buffy.

Soon after their honeymoon, Faith and Buffy were pregnant at the same time. The anticipation and excitement grew as the due dates drew near, until they gave birth to boys, only days apart. The parents settled on Alex Jr. and Rupert. Years later, Buffy welcomed a second child into the world, a beautiful baby girl they named Joy.

For many months, it was hard for them to take risks when they thought of everything they would lose upon their death, but they pulled out the courage to do so anyway, because the hard truth was, if they didn’t, far more people would die. They were determined to protect their children and instill in them the knowledge and skills needed to navigate the harsh reality of demons, curses, and the ever-present threat of vampires. Xander, Buffy, and Faith were aware of the challenges that awaited their children, and they were committed to ensuring they were prepared to face whatever dangers lay ahead.

——

In the spacious penthouse suite of the Slayer Organization's living quarters, a loving family prepared for bedtime. The living space exuded warmth and comfort, with soft lighting casting a gentle glow on the plush furnishings. The walls were adorned with framed pictures of friends, family, or pop-culture references, reminders of the family’s remarkable journey. Their home was large for an apartment and well-guarded, since they were the most important family in the world.

In his daughter’s room, seated in a cozy rocking chair, Xander had his youngest seated on his lap. Her pajamas, adorned with adorable cookie patterns, brought a touch of whimsy to the scene. As Xander read her bedtime story, a sense of tranquility filled the air.

Midway through the story, Joy hesitantly interrupted, her innocent voice barely a whisper, “Daddy, do- do I make you sad?”

Xander’s brow furrowed in genuine confusion. He lowered the storybook, ensuring his undivided attention was on his precious daughter. “Sad? Absolutely not,” he reassured her with a soft smile. “There’s no way you could ever make me sad. Why would you think that?”

The little girl’s eyes met her father’s, filled with uncertainty. Young as she was, she’d mouth the words before stating, “Be-Because… I’m not strong like-like Momma and Mommy.”

Xander’s heart ached at her words, realizing the weight of her self-doubt. Setting the storybook aside, their eyes locked in a tender gaze as he replied, “Oh, monkey. You can be just as strong as they are.”

“But I try… I really try,” the cute girl stressed, her voice tinged with frustration. “I can’t open tha butter jar, or, or, bring mommy her sword, or run fast like Al and Ruppy.”

Xander nodded, understanding her longing to measure up to her older siblings, and softly asked, “Do you think doing all those things makes you strong?”

Lowering her gaze, Joy quietly nodded, her little fingers fidgeting in her lap, and mumbled, “...Yeah.”

“Mmm, I see,” Xander commiserated. He paused for a moment before asking his daughter, “Can I tell you a secret?” She nodded eagerly, her golden head of silky hair waving before he continued. “I can’t do half the things your mommies can. Do you think that makes me weak?”

Wide-eyed, Joy vehemently shook her head, exclaiming, “No! M-Monsters are scared of you and mommas.”

Delighted to hear his daughter’s high estimation of him—the admiration clearly in her voice—Xander couldn’t help hugging her as he called out, “Oh, you’re just the sweetest little Monkey!” She giggled in his warm embrace, and after they settled down, Xander explained, “Do you want to hear a different story before bedtime?”

Joy’s eyes sparkled with excitement, her trust in her father unwavering. “Yeah!” she joyfully called.

Xander sensed a gentle warmth at the entrance of the room, and it only added to the comfort he felt from the presence behind him. He continued his story, the soft glow of a bedside lamp casting a warm and cozy atmosphere.

“When I was a bit older than you are now, I met your mother,” he began, a sense of nostalgia in his voice

“Which mommy?” she asked, curiosity sparkling in her eyes.

“The blonde one,” he specified, adoring how she considered Faith as much her mother as Buffy. “And let me tell you, I fell in love with her right away! My eyes were glued to her, but I soon learned that she was the Slayer and was very, very strong. I also learned that she fought other incredibly powerful things, so the rest of us would be safe.”

Excitement lit up Joy’s face as she proclaimed, “She’s chosen!”

“That’s right,” Xander affirmed, smiling at her enthusiasm. “Some people in this world are born that way; chosen. Whether they’re prettier, stronger, faster, or smarter, some people are chosen in one way or another.”

“And you, Daddy?” she asked, an expression of wonderment.

“No, sweety, not me,” he thoughtfully answered. “I wasn’t one of the Chosen. I couldn’t do a lot of those things myself. I felt a lot like you do right now.”

The little girl was stunned to hear her father wasn’t always strong, asking in such surprise, “R-Really? You felt like me?”

“I sure did,” he assured her. “I actually felt that way all the time; because your auntie Willow was so smart, your mommas were so strong and brave, and your grandpa Giles was so wise.”

“And Uncle Spike?” she asked, her eyes bright with curiosity.

Instantly feeling disgruntled by her affection toward the notorious vampire, Xander reluctantly admitted, “Yeah, I guess he was there, too. The point is, I felt like I wasn’t good enough.”

“Bu-But you’re so strong, Daddy!” she proclaimed, her youthful voice brimming with conviction. “I-I watch alllll your vi-videos on YouTube.”

Eying her sternly, Xander asked, “Joy, what did I say about watching those?” His tone was firm but filled with love.

Feeling remorseful, Joy’s shoulders slumped as she replied glumly, “Not until I’m older.”

Shaking his head, Xander clarified, “No, the other thing.”

“Oh! Like, comment, and share all your videos,” she easily recited.

“That’s my girl,” he praised, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek. “Here’s the thing you don’t see in any of those videos. Do you want to know what it is?” With her nodding head, he answered, “It took me a lot of years to get strong enough to fight all those monsters. It took me a long time to learn the truth.”

“What truth?” the curious girl asked.

Xander’s gaze softened as he answered, “The truth that even if I wasn’t chosen like other people are, I was still good enough—that I was actually a lot stronger than I knew,” he genuinely told her. “It’s why I know that you’re actually a loooooot stronger than you think you are.”

“Really?” she asked, her eyes wide with a mixture of surprise and hope.

“Really, really,” he teased with a smile. “All you have to do is try. Try every minute of every day to be the best version of yourself you can be.”

Confusion clouded Joy’s face as she asked, “Of me?”

Xander nodded, his voice gentle and reassuring as he said, “Yes, of you. You see, the reason why mommas are so strong, why I’m strong now, or your aunties Dawn, Tara, and Willow, and grandpa Giles are so strong-”

“And Uncle Spike?” she interjected, her curiosity shining through.

Xander inhaled deeply, trying to hide any hint of unhappiness regarding Spike from his little girl. Slowly, he nodded and replied, “Uh-huh, and Uncle Spike… The reason why we’re strong is because we try every day to be the best version of ourselves. You have a strength inside of you that you don’t know about. It’s like a secret. This strength is dying to get out and be amazing, but it can’t do it alone. You have to try to reach for it every day. It won’t be easy. Some days you’ll do really well, and other days you won’t, but eventually—when enough time has passed—you’ll be the strongest version of Joy Lehane Harris you can be and the world will be so much better and happier because of it.”

From behind them, a sweet voice says, “I was wondering why Daddy was taking so long.” Faith entered the room, her presence bringing a sense of warmth and love. The bubbly blonde child turned her attention to her mother, her eyes lighting up with joy.

“Mommy!” she called out, reaching her arms toward Faith. With a tender smile, Faith lifted her daughter into her arms and carried her towards the bed as Joy exclaimed, “Daddy told me he wasn’t as strong as you when you met.” As Faith was laying her down, she continued, “But-But now he is, and I want to be too, so I can be amazing, like you!”

Faith’s smile widened, and she lovingly caressed her daughter’s cheek as she said, “Oh, Monkey, you will be; one day. I just know it.”

Buffy walked into the room and moved beside the bed as she remarked, “Wait till Faith starts training you.”

Faith smiled proudly as she boasted, “Can’t help it if I know how to train some tough girls.”

Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith from behind, embracing her, and addressed their daughter, “If you really want to be strong, then you’re going to need your sleep to grow big and strong. Why do you think your mommas and daddy like to sleep so much? Cuz it makes us strong.”

“Or we just don’t get enough of it,” Xander jested with a yawn. Meetings during the days, training and hunting at night, and if they were lucky, they got to be with their children for a few hours every day.

While the mothers bid their daughter good night, Xander watched from the door frame, happy to know he’d have several more decades of this, so long as he kept fighting. The inevitable night would come when the world ended, but even then, he would keep fighting—for himself and his family.

Faith playfully patted his ass, teasingly remarking, “Come on, let’s go lose some more sleep trying to give her a sister.”

Xander smiled and followed his loves to the riches that await those who never stop trying.