《Once Human, Now a Parasite B》Chapter 106 Lack of Identity
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“Perhaps we did. Perhaps we did not.” Responded Arthur in a vague manner, but Nader seemed certain of his assumption.
“I’m not going to dictate what you should or should not do.”
Nader turned his head and looked at the students chatting with each other and enjoying their free time.
He seemed to be absent-minded for an inordinate amount of time, and Arthur didn’t interrupt him. He let the young man fall into a long daze while he collected his thoughts and processed everything they had talked about.
“What do you think about our Race? About being a parasite?”
Caught off-guard by this question, which didn’t have any relation with the topic, Arthur maintained a brief silence before answering,
“I have no real opinions about the matter. We, parasites, just exist. Like humans, Elves, Demons, and Dwarves.”
“No… I mean, specifically about our unique racial abilities.”
“I’d say we’re fairly superior to many of the races. However, that advantage could be detrimental in some situations.”
“Exactly. I think of us as… a cursed race. A defect. A malformed and incomplete imperfection.”
Arthur listened to the melancholic Nader, whose tone sounded sorrowful and slightly frustrated.
“While yes, all other Races also have their own imperfections, it’s nothing compared to us. Ultimately, we are nothing. We feed and leech off other living beings. We cannot exist alone. Simply put, we lack an identity.”
“...”
Nader let out a sigh of exasperation as he continued, “We are forced to change hosts to survive. Our minuscule bodies are fragile and a liability. But more than that, we cannot form our own ‘identity’. It’s honestly sad and miserable. Try looking at yourself in the mirror once a month and you’ll most likely see a different person, if not a different race altogether. Each time, we have to keep the act, unable to genuinely be free. It’s also why I very much enjoy your company right now, because it’s one of the few times I can be at ease and say whatever I want.”
“It doesn’t necessarily have to be like that. Through the forming of bonds, we can reveal our true faces to those we trust. True friends will not shun you because of your Race.”
“I disagree. And I also think you’re wrong. You do not know how much everyone hates our existence. They hate us more than the savage Cthulhu, the Armans, the Devils, and even the Void. It’s like we’re a plague. What’s more infuriating is that we didn’t deserve any of this. Apart from one war we waged against the Cthulhu, we’ve never caused an ‘actual’ disaster. There is no such thing as friends, families, or lovers for us, because- at the end of the day- they will choose their own over us. Once they see us possess someone different than what they’re used to, or see us get hacked to death yet still move, their so-called affection and loyalty will vanish like sand on the wind.”
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Nader stopped talking and gave Arthur a meaningful gaze, silently demanding a response.
“Self-loathing is a never-ending Abyss, Nader. I don’t know about your past, but I’d guess you were betrayed by humans, hence your adamance on trusting them or other races? I agree that our characteristics make it hard for us to blend in, but the world isn’t just made of such people. There are those who will stick with you.”
“My past experiences definitely influenced my judgement, but I will always stand by it. No matter how much they sugar-coat it, they will not trust or help you. They know what we’re capable of, so they fear us and hunt us down like dogs. I’ve seen it happen many, many times. Entire groups of newborn parasites burned to death, cast into Hell, sacrificed to evil divinities, experimented on.”
“That happens to everyone, not just us.”
“Yes, but there are differing degrees. Our basic survival instincts make us possess corpses to grow stronger and live. However, that act is perceived as blasphemous and inhumane for them. Our way of living is unlike the norm, therefore, we are dangerous, evil, and all that nonsense.”
“It’s natural for such a reaction to happen. Even expected. The Demons and Dwarves are subjected to similar racist treatments, which, albeit not as brutal, are still bad. Moreover, lamenting over our racial characteristics will change naught. We were born like this and we have to live with it, for better or worse.”
Arthur drew a deep breath and quickly continued, “As for lack of identity you spoke of… I think that depends on the person. Personally, I do not find it particularly bad, mainly because I want to change hosts and keep the ‘act’. While we do not have the choice to have a solidified, conventional identity, we can still permanently masquerade as a singular person. Most importantly, an identity is not just having a body unique to you, it’s about your personality, your soul, your actions. The body is just the exterior shell.”
“That’s just one way to look at it.” Nader shook his head, “Parasites who constantly change between sentient hosts eventually lose sight of themselves. They became detached from reality and unable to properly live. In contrast, those who stick with one host for a prolonged amount of time will think of themselves as that host’s identity. They will believe in the lie and lose sight of themselves.”
“That seems contradicting, Nader.” Rebuked Arthur as his frown deepened, “Lose sight of themselves? You’re insinuating that they’ll lose their identity, right? If so, then you do believe we have an identity, one which is formed not just with having a body.”
Nader didn’t respond immediately, not because he didn’t have a solid counter-argument, but because neither he nor Arthur would be able to change each other’s opinions. They had different beliefs and perspectives and it was more than hard to change something deeply ingrained into the mind.
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“I initiated all this back and forth just for one thing, Khalil. If you’re hoping for Melissa to fulfil her end of the deal, then you’re mistaken. Delusional, even. She’ll use you then you’ll find yourself cornered by all the powerhouses in the academy. If word got out that anyone from the academy joined hands with a parasite, all three nations would get involved and send their own ‘executors’.”
“It isn’t the first time my identity has been discovered.”
“Naturally, not everyone will be relentlessly chasing after our kind. However, most will. Demons are less inclined to confront us or kill us. Vampires and Werewolves are neutral. Elves and Humans are those who’ll want to exterminate us. More accurately, those with a high-societal status.”
An emotionless smile appeared on Nader’s face as he asked,
“Do you know about ‘Last Possession’?”
“No.”
“It is an unwritten rule between us parasites. It’s somewhat of a secret too, circulating mainly between our kind. Last Possession is the act of having a spare body, so to speak.”
Just as Arthur was about to question more about the topic, Nader chuckled and resumed his exposition,
“To fully understand the concept of ‘Last Possession’, you have to understand what possessing a host really is. You’ve surely experienced it dozens, if not hundreds of times and must have gotten used to it. Furthermore, you should have noticed that the bodies we possess, human or not, will not come back to life, per se. They are being controlled by us: We control the brain, thus having full access to the body. However, the physiological functions of the host will remain dysfunctional and inactive. The heat generated by constant movement and the Mana we absorb is enough to not turn the host into a walking corpse, but that wouldn’t change the fact that it is a corpse. A soulless one, to be precise.
First and foremost, when we possess a body, our real selves are still hidden. Meaning, someone with an exceptional perceptive ability could locate our real bodies and kill us with one strike, though such a feat can’t be done by just anyone. In fact, I’ve only heard about it done once, and the killer was a legendary Marksman.
Second, when we possess a corpse, we will be unaffected by the injuries it had suffered prior to the act. We will be slightly hindered if the injuries are something like cut-off limbs or a bunch of broken bones, but even that could be bypassed given the right racial evolution. Mutant parasites, especially, have very good regenerative abilities.”
“I still fail to comprehend your meaning about ‘Last Possession’.” Said Arthur as he examined his body but failed to locate his real one.
“Let’s say you are heavily injured and you switch to another host. The injuries will not transfer, but the mental fatigue will, like over-consumption of Mana. Some potent curses that are directed toward the soul will follow along too. However, when you possess an entirely new body, you will grow stronger, but that isn’t the main point. The real trick is the natural cleansing that happens without our knowledge. The effect becomes greater if the new host is significantly stronger than the last one. When that happens, you will be cleansed of all curses and maledictions and any Mana you might have consumed will be instantly recovered. That is exactly what ‘Last Possession’ is. It’s a last resort for our kind, a ‘virgin’ host that could turn the tides. The majority of old parasites will have one at all times.”
“So you have one too?”
“Of course. Keep in mind that the aforementioned spare body has to be kept a secret from everyone, including your kin. It is the last chance for survival. Something to be used when you're at wit’s end. Most often than not, ‘Last Possession’ is the body of a considerably strong entity, like a Dragon or a Wyrm. The sudden increase in powers, acquisition of new abilities, and the cleansing will practically lead to a figurative rebirth. It is also why Parasites are notoriously hard to kill.”
Nader crossed his arms and added one last thing,
“If ‘Last Possession’ is compatible with your unique sub-race type, expect the subsequent beneficiary effects to be strengthened. For instance, as an Abyssal Ghost Parasite, I have a spare body that matches my abilities, therefore allowing me to exert my all when I finally possess it.”
He lowered his head, inhaled and exhaled some air as his facial muscles relaxed. His earlier anxiousness had subsided after explaining what he needed to explain.
“I’ve rambled on for too long. If you want to speak about your objectives in coming here, or have any questions regarding any topic, I’ll try my best to explain. This is your chance because I’m leaving today.”
“You’re leaving? Why?”
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