《Smash Gal & Esvanir》Issue #51: Why in God’s Name Do You Want a Werewolf!?

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=== Shay ===

The city was quiet. It was 3 am. The only time that it was ever calm. No one was shouting at each other, no car horns or the sounds of crunching metal. Just the soft hum of power draw. And I was bored. I had been patrolling later because some robberies and muggings were reported late at night, but I had been staked out for the last few days and hadn’t seen anything. I had posted up on the roof of a building where I’d have a pretty good vantage point for just about everything for a couple of blocks. But I wasn’t paying attention. I was just lying, my back against a wall, and my eyelids were heavy. I didn’t fall asleep, though. I just rested them for a little while.

There was a crash, and I jolted up. I checked my phone. 4:40 am. I got to my feet and looked for the cause of the noise. There was something huge and furry five stories below. And it had just batted an SUV onto its side. I rubbed my eyes, got the eye boogers out, and stepped off the edge. The ground came quick to meet me, but just before I got too acquainted with it, I threw out my copper line and held on for dear life. It wrapped around a light pole, and I swung forward, my coat riding up on my back. I tugged on the copper line, sending a current through it, and it unwrapped itself. I landed heavily on the ground and rolled. Damn it. Still can’t get that right, I thought. But I’m awake now. The giant, furred beast turned to me and roared. It was taller than any of the cars on the street and looked like a rabid dog someone had pumped full of steroids. I looked just past it to the car it had thrown around. “Mother fucker! That’s my ride!”

This thing launched itself higher than the light pole I’d just used. It was heading straight for me. I threw myself out of the way, and asphalt and concrete crumpled underneath its massive paws. I scrambled to my feet, brandishing my copper whip. I cracked it against the ground, sending a spark of lightning up. Whatever-this-was jumped back and roared again. It charged forward and swiped at me with its huge talons, and I couldn’t get out of the way in time. I slammed into the ground and went rolling for at least a mile. I sat up, the world spinning around me. My coat was torn, and I had lost my whip. After another blink or two, my eyes focused. The monster dog was barreling towards me. I raised my hand and aimed carefully, throwing a bolt from my fingertips. The beast yelped as it was struck, and its legs went out from under it. It crashed heavily into the street and skidded to a stop a few feet in front of me. I blew out a breath and shambled over to my SUV. It was on its side, on the sidewalk.

I gripped the step bar and tried to pull it back onto its wheels, but it wouldn’t budge. Letting go, I landed on my feet easily. I stroked my goatee, considering. Maybe I can text Kari. I saw that video of her at the bridge collapse. The girl was juggling cars like mad. There was a scraping sound behind me, and I turned just as I saw the beast get back to its feet. Jesus! I hit it with 300 million volts! It threw itself forward, growling. I gathered all the electricity I had left, which wasn’t a lot, and charged it between my fingers. The monster-dog launched itself up, and just as I was about to release my bolt, something slammed into the animal. It went flying faster than I could follow. It squealed, and a hovering bumper car with a jet on the vehicle’s back. It broke, and the furry monster went flying. I jogged to catch up to the vehicle. “Jenny! Girl, thank God. I don’t think I could’ve taken it down.”

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“You know I’m always here for my favorite client,” she said, her southern drawl taking over her words. “Do you have any idea what it is?”

“A big dog?”

“Maybe it’s a werewolf!” She exclaimed. “I always wanted a pet werewolf.”

“Why in God’s name would you want a werewolf?” Jenny turned to me and grinned. I shook my head. “Well, if you wanted to keep it, why’d you hit it so hard?”

“I can’t let you get hurt,” she replied somberly. “You have a photoshoot tomorrow. Are you charged up? I think he’s about to get up again.”

“I can be if you give me a moment or two.” She nodded and blasted forward. I went to the middle of the street and picked up my whip. On the corner of one of the streets, there was a high-voltage transformer that presumably powered some of the buildings around there. I looked around and then whipped off the lock, carving through it. I opened the door and started sapping some electricity. My entire body shook. The street lights dimmed and flickered. I felt my scrapes and scratches close. I drew more into myself. My heart beat faster, and my senses sharpened. Everything smelled like ozone. And I felt like I could take on the world. I cut the connection; I’d taken more than I should’ve already. Mom always warned me about taking too much since I burnt out her toaster when I was 9. I was nowhere near my limit; I hadn’t been close in years. I wonder what would happen if I took more in. I hesitated before closing the doors. I slagged them in place and got back to the fight.

Jenny was jetting forward, and her apparent werewolf jumped out of the way, only to chase her afterward. She took a sharp turn and took aim and shot it. Gun barrels extended out of the grill of her cattle guard and pelted the beast with heavy fire. The thing ignored the gunfire as it bounded toward her. She reversed her car quickly and tried to stay out of its way, still shooting it. But she couldn’t get away. It slammed a clawed paw into her hover chair, and she went flying, spinning violently. Her car slammed into a building, and the little shield she used to protect herself from impact flickered out. Airbags blew out. “Jenny!”

I ran down as the dog was closing in on her. It launched into the air, and I threw out my hand, a lightning bolt arcing out. It struck it just before it landed. The beast itself went skidding and crashed into the building. The smell of singed fur and ozone filled the air. And smoke. I went over to Jenny’s chair. It wasn’t hovering anymore. She was lying against the inflated airbag coming out of her dash. I checked her pulse. She’s alive. Thank God. Sirens echoed out between the buildings. I checked the radio chatter. Cops, an ambulance, and a firetruck were heading this way. Finally! They’re never around when you need them to be. And always around when you don’t need them to be. I walked around Jenny’s bumper car to see someone loading the werewolf dog into a van. A woman in a lab coat watched as two burly men lifted it onto a stretcher and back into a huge commercial truck. I walked up to her. “Hey, who are you?”

The woman glanced at me and then redirected her attention back to the truck. “Excuse me. Who are you? Why are you taking that animal?”

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“I’m with animal control,” she replied curtly. Then she took a breath and smiled at me. It was fake. “Thank you, mister hero. It’s good you were here, but we got it from here.”

“Animal control? With a cargo truck?” I asked, gesturing. The truck itself was one of those large U-Haul types you could rent, but completely white. There were no identifying marks, no numbers, or a company name. Something’s not right.

“Yeah. We . . . needed it for some meta animals. Around the same time as the awakening, some animals got powers too. So, we needed some equipment to handle those. Again, thank you, but we have it from here.” She wasn’t being rude exactly. Just short. But something about this ain’t right, I thought. I closed my eyes and opened my senses up. Neither she nor the two men had phones on them. Just a GPS tracker. Now that’s even more suspicious than her just picking up a werewolf. Who doesn’t have their phone on them? The monster dog also had a GPS chip in it. I frowned and was about to say something when I heard the doors slam. I opened my eyes, and they were driving off. I started to go after them, but the cops and the ambulance pulled up. I need to make sure Jenny’s okay. Damn it!

With their help, we pulled Jenny’s hover car out from the crater she’d made and pulled her up. She came to as she was being moved to the stretcher. She smiled up at me weakly. “Hey, Thundy. Did we get him?”

“Sorry, Jen. No werewolf for you this time.”

“Damn. I already have a collar for him and everything,” Jenny replied, trying to sit up. The EMT pushed her back down. “I’m fine.”

“Nah, Jen. We need to get you checked out. You hit your head, and I need you healthy. I’d hate to have to find another manager. Who would schedule me for underwear shoots?” I grinned down at her. She nodded. After they loaded her up into the ambulance and drove off, I fielded questions from the police and some reporters. They tried to trip me up like they had Kari, but I was not going to let that happen. That girl really needs to take a class. Learn how to talk to people. They confirmed that animal control hadn’t been called.

After some time, they all left, and I stood in front of my SUV, which was still thrown onto its side. “Well, fuck.”

=== Curt ===

Eventually, we found the office we were looking for. We threw the doors open and walked through. Tierra closed them behind us, which did dampen the entrance some. Where did that thought come from? . . . I’ve been spending too much time around Cindi. The office had a huge window stretched out, with a beautiful city view. There was a desk with a laptop on one side, and a man sitting in a chair with his feet kicked up on it. He looked to be in his fifties and initially wore a bored expression. In a slow, deliberate motion, he sat up, hands out to reveal he had no weapons. His ID I’d found online didn’t really match him anymore. He had aged a lot since the last time he went in for a picture. He was thin and lanky, with graying red hair and deep bags under his eyes.

“Mister Reese, Miss Drei, and . . . I’m sorry. I don’t know your name. We’ve been expecting you for some time.” His voice confirmed my suspicions. He was the one who had scrambled it for the broadcasts.

“Yeah, sorry, Jeff. Hate to keep you waiting. I just wanted to make sure my entrance was dramatic enough. Apparently, we failed.”

“Am I supposed to be impressed that you know my name, Mister Reese?”

“Not really. But I would appreciate it if you referred to me properly. I took her last name.” I nodded to Cindi, who grinned brightly.

“Another pointless, liberal action from a coward,” the man behind the desk stood up. “You have the gall to denounce us when you’re literally married to the bourgeois.”

“B-bourgeois?” I asked, trying to understand what he was on about. “She’s. . . You know what? I don’t care. I’m here to stop you.”

“Stop me? And why would you do that? We’re the ones who will actually accomplish what you claim that you want.”

“What do I want?” I asked incredulously, stepping forward. Rage poured through me, and I didn’t realize when I started shouting. “I don’t want buildings blown up. I don’t want people to die. Especially not in my name. I never asked you, or any of these kids, to do any of this!”

The terrorist looked over me, frowning. He wasn’t scared; he wasn’t intimidated. More than anything, he just looked bored. “Mister Reese. Sorry, I mean, Mister Drei. You’re young. You’ve created a movement. But frankly, you don’t know what you want. You’re clever in some ways but sloppy, and you will never achieve real change. I can make real change happen.”

“You’ve been active since the ’90s and have nothing to show for it. I save people. And I don’t have to blow up buildings to do it.”

“You’ve given water purifiers to a few villages and never looked back!” Jeff slammed his hands on the desk. I jumped. “And you never look back. What happens when all that top-secret technology is reclaimed by paramilitary groups hired by Wan En or EnGin, and those villagers you’re so convinced you saved to die.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came. Someone had shut me up for the first time in a long time. Crowley’s right. I don’t keep close ties to what happens afterward. I shut my mouth. And he continued. “You are a good symbol. Someone that people can rally behind. But you have never done anything to actually change anything. And you’re not interested in doing so. You want to traipse around the world with your slutty, bourgeois wife and pretend that you’re helping.”

I felt my jaw tighten and stood straighter, stepping right in front of the desk. Crowley also stood up straighter; our eyes met, and his glare practically dared me to do something. But I had found my voice again. “And how, exactly, does blowing up buildings change a fucking thing? Because it looks like you’re just posers. Holed up in a condemned office building, hacking into places and killing people. I don’t see you creating a communist utopia.”

“The only thing the state understands is violence. That’s why half of those idiot metas heroes are psyops, and the other half are just morons that bought into the propaganda.” I wavered a little bit. I narrowed my eyes at this man. The way he spoke about heroes was precisely how I did. Is this what I’m going to be in twenty years? His words echoed in my head.

“Responding to violence with violence is acceptable. But you’re blowing up buildings. That’s too far. That’s not a response. That’s just murder. Mass murder.”

“Omelets, eggs, Esvanir. It’s not like your hands aren’t covered in blood. Hell, you’re trying to kill one of the world’s most famous superheroes. Smash Gal.” The disgust in his voice when he said our names was palpable. I gritted my teeth and rolled my shoulders. He took a step back.

“Well, then. If we’re so similar, I’m sure you saw this coming.” I snapped my finger, opening a portal. Or . . . At least, that was what was supposed to happen. But no portal opened up. Nothing did. And Crowley just started laughing. He threw his head back and laughed at me.

“Mister Reese. Come now. I told you I was expecting you. You think I wouldn’t have a countermeasure to your little parlor trick?” He reached into his jacket and drew a gun, pointing it at me, but his aim was off. He was still laughing. And it was only growing. He was becoming hysterical. He leaned over his desk laughing, and I took a step back, my eyes wide. I looked back to Cindi.

“He’s lost it.”

“No,” Tierra cut in. “I’m doing this to him, numbnuts. And it’s a good thing, too. You would’ve died.”

“Thank you.”

“Whatever. What are we going to do with him?” I frowned at the giggling man, trying to run through options. Despite all of the violence and grandstanding, he had a point. I am not a vehicle for change. Not alone. And that’s a problem.

“Cin, zap him. Leave him alive. I . . . I need some time to think.”

=== Kari ===

After Suiren’s sword literally blew up in my face and burned off my eyebrows in the process, I went to Chuck’s. He wasn’t there when I got there. So I just scrolled on my phone for a while. Twitter was especially cruel today. People were complaining about how people had died in the bridge collapse. And some people were blaming the government, but there were a lot of people agreeing with that reporter, saying I should’ve done more. What could I have done? I can fly and lift stuff, but . . . like, it’s a fucking bridge. We really need a team to deal with things like that. I thought about how everyone else would handle it. Curt would have just opened one of his stupid portals and said, “How dare the government not maintain an infrastructure! If we redistributed all of the money to bridges, then bridges wouldn’t collapse.” I laughed at the thought. He’d be ranting and saving people at the same time. The jerk. Chuck wouldn’t complain. He’d probably reinforce the bridge somehow while people got off. I could’ve tried that, but my forcefields aren’t that strong. And people were already falling in, so I had to get them. Not that I could’ve gotten them all.

I must’ve fallen asleep at some point because I woke up with dawn peeking in through the curtains. Chuck wasn’t in bed. Had he even come home? I got up and went to the living room. His apartment was small. He said he kept it because of something called Rent Control, but I didn’t care. It was just him. And me now. He was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I walked over to him. “Hey, what’s up, doc?”

He looked up at me and gave me a weak smile. It was apparent he hadn’t slept last night. “Hey, Kari. Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, but you could’ve. And I would’ve cuddled you, and we could’ve talked about whatever’s bothering you.”

“Bothering me?” He asked, shaking his head. “Nothing’s bothering me, Kari. I’m fine.”

“Chuck.” He met my eye reluctantly. “I know I’m not a psychic or a shrink or whatever, but that doesn’t mean I’m dumb.”

“I-I never said you’re dumb, Kari.”

“But you’re not talking to me. What’s going on?” He hesitated for a few more minutes before sighing and shaking his head.

“I fucked up, Kari. I fucked up bad.”

“What happened?”

“I-I went back to Bellemere.” He took a deep breath. “I saw Blanca and Scott.”

“I thought we were going to try and get those meta groups to help us with that. Make it a part of the whole meta prison reform idea.”

“Y-yeah. But we don’t know how long that will take, Kari. And they’re. . . I did that to them. It’s my fault.” I frowned and sat next to him, pulling him into a hug.

“It’s not your fault, Chuck.”

“But it is my responsibility. I put Scott and Blanca in that state. And I needed to fix them.”

“And did you?”

“I started to,” he said evasively.

“Then how did you fuck up?”

“I went there as me.”

“Okay? Who else would you have been?”

“No, I went as Dr. Berry. Not as Professor Mind. A-and I used my powers.”

“Oh,” I replied, considering. “Well, is that so bad?”

“Yes! My identity could be out there! People could know who I am.”

“And?” I asked, exasperated. “People know who I am. This could be a great opportunity to reveal your identity. Dr. Chuck Berry, the Professor Mind.”

“And I’d lose my practice and never be left alone again. It’s different for you and Harold. I have a life outside of being a superhero.”

“I’m building a life as a superhero! I have my modeling, I have my superhero boyfriend, and I have activism. But I am a superhero, you jackass. And so are you.”

“And I’m a doctor!” He replied in a desperate whisper. “A practicing psychiatrist. With psychic powers. I’d be opening myself up to hundreds of lawsuits.”

“So? Did you use your powers?”

“Sometimes. I can’t just turn off the emotional readings. It’s like trying-”

“Not to hear something,” I ended his sentence for him, a little annoyed. “Okay. But why would people sue you? You didn’t do anything to manipulate their emotions or minds, right?”

“No, of course not. The most unethical thing I’ve ever done is meet with Esvanir.” He replied bitterly. “But Professor Mind has the reputation of someone who messes with people’s minds. And people will just assume that I’m doing it. It’s not like there’s a bunch of charitability towards metas.”

“N-no, there’s not. I guess you have a point. But I’ll be here, and we’ll figure something out. You have options.”

“I like being a doctor, though. I like helping people, Kari.”

“You won’t be a doctor. Things might change, but you will always be a doctor, Chuck. And a professor.”

“Yeah,” he replied, smiling softly. “Thanks, Kari. By the way . . . what happened to your eyebrows?”

“Ugh!” I exclaimed before deflating on the couch.

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