I hobbled up to a door, ringing the bell. I’d have knocked, if I felt like raising my arm.

Someone was there nearly instantly, “Oh, wow! A zombie! You look really scary.”

Tonight was the night for weirdos coming to your door at unreasonable hours. I nodded, “Yeah, I’m nearly twenty, is Gurl home?”

It was her mother at the door, “Gurl?”

“TGFMACJ, I need to talk to her real quick.”

She bit her lip with a bit of a smile. Gurl’s mum was one of those forty-year-olds who looked and acted twenty. It might sound mean, but the Gurl I knew inherited neither her looks or spirit. She called down the hall, “Baby-bee, there’s a boy here to see you.”

For a second, I thought I had the wrong house, but she came out in a fluffy hoodie and pyjama bottoms. Her watery eyes froze on me. “Mom, I’ll be back soon.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay in the kitchen, you two can talk as long as you want. Just answer the door, ‘kay.”

I took a step back from the door, “No, that’s alright, I just needed to ask TGFMACJ-- where someone is.”

TGFMAC came out quickly, reacting the same as I might if something from this supernatural world eddied its way into my life. Without bothering to change, she stormed out past her sunny mum, “I’ll be back soon,” she reassured, herself more than her mum I think.

Her mom peaked out the door for a while after. Gurl was freaking out.

She waited until we walked out of her drive way and down the street a bit. I remembered the time I'd been the entertainment in her brother’s birthday party.

As she threw up on the street, I muttered to myself, “That makes three of us.”

She couldn’t look at me, not directly, it was perhaps too real.

“You’re fucking crazy. You can’t show up in front of my mom like that- Jesus, what if my brother had been home?”

I tugged at my cheek, “I’ve been worse. I still have my face on, don’t I?”

“Most of it,” she prodded at my four head with her eyes closed.

“Your stomach’s open, your ribs are shattered, the muscles in your arm are strung or swelling-”

“You really should think about becoming a doctor.”

“And there is a giant bloody hole-!”

I looked down at where Tayanita had shot me.

“Huh... I’ve seen holes, this is more of a ditch.” The bones where showing, bleached clean.

I did the only thing I could do, I shrugged it off and told myself, “I might have some rebirthing foam I can rub on it. Though I should probably seal my stomach first.”

Gurl was in disbelief. I tried to get her back on track.

“I’m changing the current mission objective. Forget about the Quarter for a second. I want you to find Tayanita and to keep an eye on the sky, look west, as far as you can easily survey.”

“For the mothman?” She gasped, flinched her arms up, “It’s still-”

“No,” I grabbed, her hands, put them down, “He’s dead. I need you to look out for the Ints.”

She looked up, at least a little intrigued by that, “Because of what Tayanita said?”

I nodded, walking on, “That’s part of it. The others intuition,” I looked at my scarred arm, “or maybe hope.”

The adrenalin was keeping me going, but pretty soon I was going to feel all of this.

“When I was in America, I was crossing country. I might have gotten the mothman’s attention then. Or maybe... It doesn’t matter when, only that the ints didn’t stop it.”

She seemed mortified, “Negligence is a crime? Is that something you want to go to war over? The Ints seem tamer than the Mountain, if you got their help-”

“The Ints have biotrackers,” I explained, “This thing- I'm almost certain it’s from over the water, something about seeing the thing with its lights out reminded me of Tlaloc, though I can’t quite recall, I’ll have to check the old posts...” I was blabbering.

I promised TGFMACJ, “If the Ints come, I won’t be the one who starts a fight. They’ll come looking for one. I’m sure of it.”

She was thinking it all over. She turned about, walking in a circle, and stopping half way around. She’s south, near the old dumping ground. Go south until you get to the hardware store, then, take left turn.”

I nodded, “Right, she’d go back to her car, go looking for Rori. It’s all coming full circle.”

Gurl continued as I thought about what to do next, “The cops have finished up at the Quarter, they’ll be sending a group to check out Tayanita’s location. If you’re quick, you could... no you’re not gonna make it there before them. Not like this.”

I nodded along absentmindedly.

“Boss, it’s serious. She’s rounding up hostages.”

...

It was a walk and a half to the construction site. If I'd been jumping, I'd have made it in a second, but as I was, that wouldn’t work. In this situation, it wouldn’t be a very good idea either.

Where before it was a dark little corner of an unsuspecting neighbourhood, now the construction site was the focus point of a five flood lights.

I hobbled towards them, the garda. They had cars parked at the entry way, and I'm sure there were more surrounding the site.

The first guy saw me from a distance, and told me to move on like every other civilian. His eyes went to my head.

He remembered what night it was, blinking a couple times and using his body as a secondary barricade.

My body was slick with blood, and I was still too powerful for him to push back. I called out, “Who’s in charge here.”

Heads turned, they shouted at the cop that greeted me, and then tried to escort me away.

I didn’t budge.

“Let me talk to her,” I ordered generally. They looked between themselves, eyes going back to one man in particular.

“You, let me through.”

He was young enough, studying me up and down before focusing on my face.

I was short on fabric, so I had to make do with the first thing I could get my hands on. I turned a pumpkin upside-down, staring out of its jagged mouth.

One of them shouted for them to get me out of there but the leading officer stopped him. From a distance he announced, “It’s him. He’s the one who sent the texts, the photos. He’s John-”

I tripped forward, near buckling over myself. I had to fix my head. “This is the last time I’m going to say this so listen,” I straightened, made it clear, “My name is Shamrock.”

The officer’s face seemed to become grimmer after I declared myself, like it was of great concern.

He took a couple steps forward, extending his arm, seeming to regret the decision as soon as he made it. “Sergeant Dorian. Your compliance would be much appreciated.”

It took me a moment to splay my fingers, to shake his hand. He didn’t seem entirely pleased by it. “How was the raid, Sergeant?”

“That’s not to be made public knowledge at this time.”

“I could tell you how many crates of cocaine were in the sub floor of that building, seeing as I'm the source of the garda’s knowledge concerning this situation...”

He swallowed, pulling his hand away from mine. It was a tight grip, perhaps “Four of our men injured. Half a hundred arrests last I checked.”

“Any dead? How many injured suspects?”

One of the cops shouted for me to take off the pumpkin. The Sergeant seemed to tense and pale at that, “I don’t know. You won’t hear that number from me.”

“Then tell me how many hostages she has.”

“Four, unrestrained, one at gun point- or, well, we’re having some issues declaring it a firearm-”

“She ask for me?”

I was going to take the silence for a yes.

“That depends on whether or not she calls you Rori.”

I nodded, thanked him for his work, and approached slowly, and with my hands up. There were some objections from the police, but they soon faded out of my focus.

“Tayanita!”

I looked past the smouldering remains of her car to see her with her back up against a pile of gravel, three faces I recognised as guys Mullet hung around, and on Tayanita’s right, with an R.O kept two feet from his face, Mullet knelt with his arms above his head.

I kept mine as high as I could.

“Not another step. You’re friendly with this one. If I recall, he was one of that little bitch’s friends. It seems a waste to use an R.O on him. I guess you were right, I don’t know how to pick the tools for a job.”

I noticed the armed forces left and right of where I stood, “Then trade them for me Tayanita.”

She looked me up and down, and I analysed her too. She had an ammo strap over one shoulder, and goggles on her brow. Despite the cool weather she was sweating.

“Either you think I'm stupid, or you don’t see how that’s a fair trade.”

“I’m the one you want dead. Face it, there’s no way you’re shooting your way out of this one. By bringing innocent people into this you’re only making things worse.”

She snickered, “You’ve almost got it, green. You know what the problem with trading you for them is? One. You’re stuck here either way, your pride won’t let you leave. Two... The pigs want you gone, shit-heel. If it was you,” she jerked the gun at Mullet, “they’d rush me, or their boys in the bushes would take me out, shooting through you. If they were able to.”

“Then what do you want? If you know this’ll end badly, why are you still here?”

Tayanita grit her teeth in a snarl, “I want Rori. You’re going to find him, bring him, and he’ll tell me the truth.”

I swallowed. If it came to it, I might get away with showing her my face. Letting her know Rori was her enemy was always an option, just not one I liked.

I looked around, trying to take in my surroundings. There was the car fire on my left, and a pile of dirt on my right. Tayanita was just over five feet from where I stood. I tried to place where the snipers had stationed themselves, not seeing them. I never realised the flood lights are meant to blind their target, I've always thought about it from the other side.

I tried to find a compromise, an easier way out of this.

“Rori lied to you, he’d lie again. I’m not going to sugar coat it Tayanita, if they or I brought him, he’d say whatever we tell him to say to get those hostages.”

“Lies,” she tasted the word on her tongue, “You finally admit it. You’re supposed to tell me what's true and what’s false? What’s right and what’s wrong? Bullshit. You’re no different from the rest of them. You’re not special, you’re no different than any other animal on this goddamn earth.”

I let slip some honesty, the exhaustion accentuated every word, “Then why do we have to fight?”

She seemed taken aback, as if it was something I wasn’t allowed to ask.

“You started this! You lowered my area’s status enough for Clover to move in, you attacked Clover when I gave you the chance to walk away-”

“And then you pulled together an armed squad to take me out. Maybe you think I'm a hypocrite, but the way I see it, this has always been self-defence.”

“You’re a monster! What more did you need? You had power, but your damn pride- you needed territory, wealth and respect.”

She was in the middle of her own adrenaline rush. She’d asked for Rori, but had soon forgotten about him in favour of a couple cheap shots at a Unit. She was acting sporadic, uncoordinated. Horrible things for a woman with a gun. Knowing that I wasn’t the only person picking up on that fact, I checked over my shoulder, the squad behind me... would they move if things looked bad enough?

“Am I wrong?” She waited for a reply.

I turned back. “Yes. In the start I didn’t care about any of that. It was always about the people. You grew up on the streets, so some part of you knows what it’s like, inside and out. People end up dead, even if nobody lays a finger on them. I had to fight- had to try and stop it-”

I choked, on my words and the bile building in my throat, “But things have changed,” there was a roughness in my voice.

“First it was Clover, and she told me there were hundreds of Units out there. It’s stupid, but I was one part excited to meet them, whoever they were. Then came Feoli who wanted to kill me at first too. Then I found out there were monsters. Then I realised it wasn’t just my life at stake when the Gator fell. There was hardly a break between it all, but I’d be lying if I said it was always getting worse. I saw better sides of people, like you... It’s just- It always comes back to the fighting. It’s like- like working out. It hurts, but you push through, and you keep pushing until the pain feels good. You can’t push on forever though, I know. I’ve tortured myself for just a chance of something more. When I finally got a change, it was because I choked the life out of somebody. By then I didn’t feel anything.”

Her eyes looked dark. She seemed to have calmed down. I blinked, realising I'd helped her compose herself. “I’m right then, you admit it. You’re corrupt. You would do anything to get what you want-”

I took a chance. I took a step forward.

“I’m human Tayanita. That’s all. There are entities out there that see us as game pieces or fodder, and you would hold innocent uninvolved people under the barrel of a weapon that should be used to protect them. I won’t call you names, not now, but I’ll point out your hypocrisy. This isn’t your home. You handle the tools of oppression for a tyrant, the invader-”

“Enough,” she finally said, prodding the side of her firearm, it beeping in response, “You won’t change me. I’ll give you five seconds to radiothat ‘girl’ and give me what I want.”

Mullet’s eyes widened, his nose flared, but his mouth stayed shut.

“What’s one less hostage? Maybe those pigs will take me seriously.”

“Taytay,” my hands were shaking, pain wracked every inch of my broken body.

My fingers trembled over the surface of my pumpkin head. I thought about the cops surrounding us. Her hostages were looking down, bar Mullet.

I didn’t lift it high, just high enough. Over the ridge of my nose was enough. She’d only ever seen the lower half of Shamrock’s face, and not often. She’d seen Rori’s more than enough times to recognise it, though bruised and bloodied as it was.

It stopped her, stupefied her.

I brough it back down, and said something that had taken me a long time to realise.

“I didn’t want to do this. I’m sorry. Things have to change, and talking was never going to do that.”

I limped closer, one foot dragging. I swerved by the pile of gravel on my right. Using it as support, I pushed off it with my right hand, moving forward another two steps.

“How many times did ‘Shamrock’ tell you to stop? How was I supposed to just stay content with breaking your toys and knocking over your sand castles? You don’t deserve this, but those kids? They definitly don’t. You are a victim of circumstance Taytay, they’re just victims. I pitied you for as long as I could. It wasn’t enough. Just as I tried to understand the Storm in the North, that man was a lost cause.”

She was blinking, there were tears in her eyes. Under different circumstances I'd have felt bad about this. Now I felt assured that all of it had been necessary.

“You- you’re bl- It's-”

I stood at around two metres from her, “I’m hearing a lot of ‘you, ‘you’re’ and ‘you will’. Blaming others. I suppose that’s another side of working with a group. Someone like me has to shoulder all the blame and misfortune on their own.

Tayanita’s face rested on a frown, at that moment it was pushed to its absolute limit. “It’s a lie! You’re a demon! A devil from below, straight from the heart of this-” She jabbed the R.O at me with one arm.

“I’ve hated myself for a while now. I’m sure I won’t feel much different after today. I learnt something, however... And that’s the code I'm going to live by for now on. I killed a man, and I’d do it again if I had to. Be thankful that I'm handing you over to the police. Just be thankful that you're dealing with me, and not Belfast.”

I took a deep breathe, my hands still above my head lowering to my sides... then I threw a pebble at her.

I didn’t have the luxury of aiming, whether it hit her in the brow or the eye I didn’t care, I stumbled forward, grabbing her weapon and tilting it up. She fought against me, much like the first fight we’d fought, again, her strikes were lacking.

I knocked her down flat, the R.O still in my grasp.

The hostages tumbled away from my feet, I had to bolt past them to get at her. I heard the cops shouting, as I looked down at her.

Blood was running from around her brow, the right side of her head. No, when I inspected her face closer, it was lower. Tears crusted around one eye, while the other festered with blood and dirt dust. There it is, I thought. The pity.

What was that worth though? I just deformed someone, and yet it was the ‘right’ thing to do?

A cop came up from behind me, trying to wrestle the gun from my arms, another came up with handcuffs.

“What a joke,” I said to myself, shouldering away from Tayanita.

That Sergeant Dorian must have called for them to stop, someone was shouting at them at least.

I looked back for a moment, seeing Mullet. He was looking after me. He tilted his head, mouthing something I couldn’t make out.

If I were to mark it down later, I'd say I spent my nineteenth Halloween as a Jacko lantern.