Trash rained upon the boom town that was under explosion. Previously Jed had been sneaky enough to rob dynamite from a slain henchmen. He had planted it under the boards where all Killin Hood's men were partying. Shortly after, the saloon had been blown to pieces with a massive explosion. He had escaped with plenty of time to spare, but the big rig sitting behind him was on the rails without a tire remaining at all.

The dismembered bits of the dead coated the deserted street. A fiery barbecued body smashed a car's front window, and the glass cleared off the dust-caked exterior, finally melting the paint as the heat spread from the charred flesh. The man placed on his sunglasses. Vultures had already begun circling the three mooned skyline for a midnight snack. The last remnants of the saloon’s wooden and lead piped skeleton was slowly falling apart out in the open.

The wind whistled through the dark alleys, bounced off walls, and hit chimes hung in hidden areas. The eerie desert was only growing colder as the night crept into after hours.

A soundtrack production stage for an old radio program provided Jed refuge. He pushed the main entrance shut fighting against the fierce sandstorm blowing against him. The sand was growing bigger at his feet every second making shutting out the elements even trickier. He was losing the fight with his feet pushed back skidding against the floor. The door was opening more, and more. The sand was beginning to crowd the room like an hourglass.

“Need help with that soldier?” brayed a voice, as a set of four hooves had joined the fight.

The door was rapidly pushed closed, and the latch bolted. Jed slumped against a cardboard cutout of a long running serialized cowboy, and trusted the steed eating space cactus behind him.

The stage was composed of many different microphones, crystal balls, and props fitting of different genres. A rack of dull stage swords sat under ropes leading to hanging bags of filler. A treadmill that could fit an elephant ran empty in front of a blank canvas intended for painted moving picture backgrounds.

“Oh man, I'm kinda glad to see you. Uh creature, With the state of things I can take any friend I can in getting the payload over the finish line, shoot i'm sorry about going a bit cuckoo when I learned about your true nature ” said Jed, struggling to his feet.

“No problem,” replied Mule, swatting away a fly behind with his tail.

Mule gently bit into him and pulled him fully upright.

“Thanks” said Jed, shaking hands with the hoof of the creature donkey.

“I’m an ancient being alright, but I try to have fun sometimes, because just because I have some powers compared to you doesn't make me all that powerful in the grand scheme of things. You see this form was what I was born and then malformed into something with no form in a crystal cavity of all 12 varieties” explained Mule.

“Alright, good information to keep in mind for the future. I take it you also need the cash from transporting the jungle juice or you wouldn't be doing it with me” said Jed.

“Yes, I wasted much time with my previous wizard master traveling through dimensions looking for things to alter our consciousness, while not getting much done outside our imaginations” said Mule.

“I see,” said Jed, frowning as he struggled to pull off one of his armored sneakers.

He loudly grunted as the shoe finally yanked off and sand trickled out like a waterfall. With both feet cleared of debris they were back in action. He checked his rifle and saw three bullets remaining, plus the one in the chamber. Walking past a giant movie camera on rails he was reminded of the cargo.

“So why is a donkey of all things your preferred form?” asked Jed, stepping over 2x4s snapped in half.

“Oh you see I have very limited strength before I will tear myself to pieces with something like being a dragon. Another important thing to remember is that using my powers goes by the Elf tier ranking of living beings, so being an ass uses almost none of my strength” said Mule.

“I see,” said Jed, breaking down a barrier into the next chamber.

The next room was a backstage area full of dead goblins. Flies flew everywhere. Dead mutton chops littered the tables in paper pulp buckets while the whole bodies littered the folding chairs. The walls were covered in stinky green goblin blood while blue cutt-off goblin tongues flew on chains swaying from the spooky atrium ceiling. A hopper window let the whistling wind in.

“Well I guess it’s always been easy mode with you around huh, pff I try to be humble but I've been living in a little bit too much fear of the latest creature features always attacking us” pondered Jed aloud.

“Shhh” Mule cut off his friend's mouth with a two handed human strangulation around the throat.

A puppet slowly descended. The strings were barely visible until a stage light above lit it into action. The puppet jerked forward. It was a ventriloquist dummy on strings. Up above in the rafters a shadowy figure worked the controls. Lightning flashed behind the figure burning into a volcano erupting in the far distance through the window. The shadow jerked the panel and the dummy began hastily advancing.

Mule bit Jed and dragged him out of the room as a monkey. He kicked the door open with two tusks, and threw the man into an empty room with a gorilla's grip. The dummy continued advancing.

“Run..Whatever you do don’t let that thing catch you” cried Mule, leaping away like a donkey.

The pair burst back outside the studio. A road that was full of the dead now walking as zombies, or crawling as the sneaking human followed by the donkey. The puppet master jerked the dead into attacking animations.

A hearse revved out of control smashing into the stables. Zombies climbed from coffins spilled from the crashed vehicle or dug themselves out of graves in the ground. One of the dead had rotting farmer overalls and a pitchfork he stabbed at the man. Jed dodged the weapon angled in his direction from death itself. He blasted one of his four remaining rifle rounds into the face of the offender.

The dummy had exited the building. It ran into the street stealthily looking for something to capture. Its mouth moved a slack jaw, while the neck hung limply without a hand for stabilization. The eyes were dark beads waiting for a life-line to come into vision. The strings continued from the heavens. The boss creature creaked forward on cheap joints and stiff animation.

Jed and Mule watched from behind bins of dirty laundry. They hid in a building dubbed the hen house. The being pursuing them jerked forward down the small claustrophobic hallway. The strings clipped through the ceiling without tearing the black molded metal. The dummy entered a nail salon full of industrial hair dryers. It scanned for prey, while its teeth chattered mindlessly.

“Clang!”

A ringing sound back in the hallway had the dummies head rotate 180 degrees on a dime. The swivel was completed as the stop motion limbs cleared the door, and spotted legs being pulled into a vent. The donkey was still here, and switched to a bee. The dummy surged forward with robot-like precision guided from above.

“Ddisosaj” squirmed Mule, turning shapes several times. He sifted from cat to bat, as the creature increased suction level with the void in its back.

The puppet master pulled the strings from above while the dummy had a donkey in the ventriloquist role. Jed crawled into the rafters getting closer to his prey. The figure in the shadows tiled his puppet control towards the winds, and faced an aimed weapon. A bald man in stage robes and makeup marked for maximum offense of the senses. He raised his arms, dropping the controls that fell towards the dummy.

“Bang,Bang,Bang!”

The puppeteer was gunned down, full of three large bullet holes, and no longer moving. Jed threw down his empty rifle and spun up the two revolvers he had looted. It was time for dual wielding. He slid down the ladder, and past the sign marked “action”. Jed crawled back through the vent retracing his steps. Eventually he dropped to the floor, after slamming his head three times before.

The dummy was slumped over an ironing board. Mule was slumped in the opposite direction but his hoof was still connected.

“Clang!” the wooden control stick had fallen to the wayside.

The dummy dragged itself forward, and Mule followed in a stupor.

“Heeheeee”it laughed dead eyes fixed on Jed.