“The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.” -Warren Bennis-

_____

Welcoming Ceremony

Come to the Townton forward operating base this Tuesday evening for a small gathering to welcome Amelia to the land of the living!

Our newest navigator has decided to make the leap from map to person, in her words, ‘against the evidence of logic’, so come by for cake, a hike to a previously unvisited rooftop, and possibly at least one misadventure!

Amelia will be sharing infomorph host space with Dorothy and Roland M., her pronouns are she/her, and she has asked that if this party must happen, that she not be given gifts.

See you there!

-Message posted in the Order of Endless Rooms Important Announcements channel-

_____

Potion Testing Log

(Note : Each batch uses the same ingredients, with sub-batches using different measurements of each. Each batch produced was also performed in multiple permutations of methods, for comparison.)

Batch 44-5

Methods : Blending, Steeping

Lab Tests : Mice under influence of potion shows increased maximum speed, and a willingness to run for extended times without rest. Physical examination showed temporary modifications to tendons and leg muscles that faded as effects ended. Extended testing approved due to positive non-lethal results. Two hundred tests performed, eighty six injuries sustained in subjects.

Sophont Tests : Approved, Pending

Status : High potential

Batch 51-1

Methods : Blending

Lab Tests : Mice under effects appear to show heightened states of calm. No injuries.

Sophont Tests : Pending

Status : Low potential

Batch 51-2

Methods : Blending, Distilling

Lab Tests : Multiple fatalities among test mice due to complete nervous system shutdown.

Status : Discontinued

Batch 58-1

Methods : Stirring

Lab Tests : No apparent effect, no apparent injuries.

Sophont Tests : Pending

Batch 67-4

Methods : Stirring, Brewing

Lab Tests : Mice in test would sporadically exhale carbon monoxide in powerful bursts. Testing resulted in three fatalities among test subjects, and hospitalization of two researchers.

Status : Discontinued

Notes : This test run had ingredient overlap with batch 23, which produced a similar effect that caused the exhalation of chlorine gas. For now, we don’t need a literal breath weapon, so those ingredients have been removed from the testing pool.

Batch 84-2

Methods : Stirring, Steeping

Lab Tests : Mice showed no adverse physical reaction. Mice also caused immedient structural failure of the testing habitat when they made contact with the fiberglass enclosure walls. Further testing showed this effect extended to glass, quartz, and plastic as well. The shattering effect is not forceful, but splintering did cause eight minor injuries among test subjects and one researcher.

Sophont Tests : In progress. Three subjects temporarily hospitalized with external injuries.

Status : High potential for rogue and delver units

Batch 11-12

Methods : Blending

Lab Tests : Ongoing observation of the testing habitat has shown a long term shift in the behavior of the mice. Over the course of months, they have shown a statistically significant increase over the control group in certain behaviors, including mating, grooming, gift giving, and play. Observation updated to include that they are also engaging in activity that could be described as the creation of art. Tests on overall health show all subjects are in better shape now than when the test began, and that social reactions indicate increased general happiness as well.

Sophont Tests : Pending volunteers

Status : Developing

Batch 89-1

Methods : Brewing

Lab Tests : Mice in tests showed no adverse physical symptoms, but no observable benefit.

Sophont Tests : Subjects reported lowered back and joint pain. Focused observation showed that for the duration of the potion’s effect, subjects automatically corrected their own posture for maximum comfort, regardless of position or furniture. Effect most pronounced in terms of pain relief on ratroaches, but is usable by any species, including infomorphic life.

Testing Note : One injury was sustained by a subject using a BDSM harness while under the effects. Posture was adjusted, which caused the dislocation of the subject’s shoulder. Other unorthodox furniture may cause similar problems.

Status : Entering production. Long brewing time limits availability, but current Sap production outstrips demand for testing, so nothing is lost devoting resources to a non-addictive pseudo-painkiller.

_____

Open Group Therapy!

Every Friday

Bring your friends

Bring your enemies

Bring people you don’t know

Snacks provided

Private room 8, basement 3(b)

Starts at 6 PM

No skulljack required

-Flyer posted on community board-

_____

Order of Endless Rooms Operations Manual, Section 7, Part 5 (Designations and Ranks, Knight/Paladin)

As has been mentioned in many places in this manual, anyone who spends time engaging with the Order on a long term level will pick up a lot of different hats. The terms that we use to refer to project or division leaders, forum representatives, or anyone with an official responsibility in a specific field, are fairly well defined and structured.

In contrast, the title of Knight is descriptive, and not an indication of a specific role in the organization.

Knight is the title that is given to members of the Order who consistently demonstrate courage, conviction, and the willingness to prioritize the safety of others over themselves. Knights are the names who, when a fresh crisis occurs, are the first on the list for who handles it. There are no special privileges that come from holding the title, only the knowledge that you will get the most dangerous jobs at the most dangerous times.

For some reason, this has utterly failed to discourage anyone.

As of recently, all Knights are also potential Paladins. The title of Paladin is not a leadership or authoritative version of Knight. If anything, it is the opposite.

Paladins, like Knights, are the first responders to threats. But they are also representatives of the Order as a whole. Paladins are expected to uphold the ideals of the Order of Endless Rooms, and as a result, they speak with the authority of the entire organization.

The duties of a Knight are dangerous, but simple. The duties of a Paladin are to work to facilitate the operations of the Order as much as possible. Including improving communications, supporting members, expanding operations, seeking out problems to solve, and also responding to threats when needed.

Just in case it needs to be made explicit, there are no requirements for species, or modifications, in order to accept these ranks.

Currently, the Order’s roster contains 28 Knights and 1 Paladin.

_____

_logistics : @Momers (She/Her/Witch), Momo, you have a package for pickup in the lobby. Please don’t leave it here for two weeks this time.

Momers (She/Her/Witch) : I never leave my packages!

K.Ward.1974 : Momo, you leave your packages in the lobby constantly. And as Nikhail and

Taste-Of-Air have yet to expand the lockers, space is limited.

_logistics : You actually have two packages. We just checked. Please come get your packages.

DAVE (Male, Knight) : i dont see why anyone is surprised by this

Momers (She/Her/Witch) : Hey, fuck off! I’ve been busy! And half the stuff I order is clothes or something, so, like, I’m focused on more important things!

DAVE (Male, Knight) : i have never seen you at the lair wearing anything that isn’t a bathrobe

Momers (She/Her/Witch) : Obviously I’m not buying stuff to wear for you, Dave.

DAVE (Male, Knight) : what did you buy? another bathrobe?

DAVE (Male, Knight) : wait isnt the lair magicked for making stuff? why dont you just make your own bathrobes?

Momers (She/Her/Witch) : If you must know…

_logistics : This is the channel for mail and utility alerts and questions. Administering a one hour timeout to both of you. Momo, shipping manifest lists your packages as a denim kimono, and a hundred pieces of surgical tubing, respectively. Come pick up your packages.

_logistics : @K.Ward.1974 Karen you also have a package here. Addressed to you, but also has your daughter’s name on it. Please come pick up your package.

K.Ward.1974 : I will do so. Thank you.

-Order of Endless Rooms Discussion Server, Channel “Logistics Notices”-

_____

Reed’s Note : Here’s the draft, now that we have most of the results in. Let me know if you think this is good enough to send out.

Initial Report - Status Quo/Blue Interaction :

The items recovered from Status Quo, both copies and originals, have been proven as capable of altered with blue orbs from Officium Mundi. This change has a number of conditions and dumb corner cases (EN : Reed you can’t say that in an official report) and is not immediately of dramatic use to the Order. However, long term testing is still ongoing, and there are unknown variables still at play (EN : in play, or at work, pick one)

Each unique Status Quo item is capable of receiving a single imbuement from a blue orb. Across all tests, these imbuements register as additional abilities in the format of the item’s own magic, and not like creating an Officium Mundi dungeontech item. Each of these abilities is also fixed; i.e. the ability for one of the breaker gloves will always be Evoke Quill. This occurs regardless of if the item is a copy or not.

So far, none of the added abilities have advanced in level (EN : Just say leveled up, it’s easier and we all know what you mean.) to the point that new abilities are unlocked. It is unknown if combinations of levels with other abilities will ‘create’ new powers for items, or if the imbued abilities stand alone.

What is also unknown, and can never actually be verified, is if the ability is ‘waiting’ to be unlocked, or if is created by the process of imbuement and then copied for each future application of a blue to a Status Quo item. It is unclear, for example, if the breaker glove was meant to Evoke Quill, or if James made it Evoke Quill, and every future use is following that lead.

Due to this uncertainty (EN: seriously, simple language Reed. Tone it down, no one cares if you use natural language), all tests were conducted with a goal in mind for a synergistic ability for the item in question. Those goals were not always met, so the influence of this method is also unknown.

Additionally, after the destruction of a shield bracer during testing, it was decided to not risk testing on the Spirit Ignition crown (EN : should we name these things? I’ve got ideas). As that item is too large to be copied, and we only have one instance of it, it was deemed too valuable to risk for now.

A list of unlocked abilities is as follows. Formatting is item and effect, highest level reached, maximum charges, time between recharge, and uses to level up, with per level changes in parenthesis when known. (EN : consider putting this as a chart on the side. Also this is different than the other listing; see this link for ref) (Bonus EN : none of these are over level 1, why not just skip that part?)

Glove - Evoke Quill

1, 10, 12 hours, 50

Used while holding a writing implement, can create a written message as if sourced from that implement on any surface at a range of 10 feet. Tests show this doesn’t deplete ink from pens, or require it for literal quills. If using something like a pencil that would break when trying to write on brick, the message just won’t show up, or will only get through a letter or two. Maximum message length is twenty letters, always at size 10 font.

Brooch - Extract Potassium

1, 4, 3 days, 50

When used and directed at food specifically, removes all potassium from that food and deposits it in a pile on the nearest flat surface. On brooches that have leveled up enough to have Bind Processor as an ability, also has a secondary option to automatically use on the processor. (EN : Explain. Fuck’s sake, the one time you actually need to be wordy is here. EXPLAIN.)

Bracer - Fake Stockpile

1, 2, 6 Days (EN : Reed, please, figure out if you’re capitalizing these or not), 75

Confirming that the shield bracers actually are making a record of the thongs (EN : please) that they block with the Stockpile effect, this allows the weirder to create a version of anything that has been previously blocked, and project it as an illusion. Visual only, range of ten feet, has visual distortion problems with ‘vehicle impact’.

Bracelet - Bind Arbalest

1, 1, 2 Years, 10

Untested. We suspect this allows a bracelet to pair with a crossbow or other mechanical projectile weapon in the same way it does with a firearm. Since we have a very limited number of these, and we don’t know if it will overwrite the bound gun, testing is paused for now. (EN : dibs on seeing how this works with burst fire)

Greave - Snap Descent

1, 15, 8 Hours, 100

Accelerates wearer into the ground, assuming they are not on the ground. The increase is difficult to judge without more testing with high altitude jumps, though pressure plate tests show it does seem to negate roughly half the force of the fall. (EN : before, or after, it speeds your fall up?)

Crown - Unknown

See above.

Earring - Perfect Color Match

1, 10, 6 Hours, 50

Changes the color of one worn primary garment to match either another primary garment, or the skin, hair, or eyes of the wearer. “Match” in this case means a copy of the color in question, not a match in the sense of fashion. (EN : just make this one sentence) Targets are mentally selected on use, and if left unselected, randomly picked. Cannot change eye, hair, or skin color.

(EN : Looks good overall. Davis’ll be annoyed that we’re going to have to postpone large scale rollouts of the brooches as water purifiers until we can make sure there’s no hidden ability that lets you turn them into nukes again, but that’s just Tuesday around here. Also, consider making a note that the crown did level up recently, and nothing changed with it. People have been asking. Either that, or some kind of announcement. Other than that and the notes, ship it.)

_____

Wanted : Nude Models

This Friday

Nonhumans very welcome

Not technically porn!

Adult sophoncy required. Orbs on offer as compensation for time. Snacks, drinks, and pillows provided. Preferable if comfortable modeling with others.

-Flyer posted on community board, majority of contact slips torn off-

_____

For trade : enchanted notebook

Notebook that fills in the margins with helpful alerts about insecurities the writer may have about the things written. Handy for self analysis! Any offers considered.

-Flyer posted on community board, all contact slips still attached-

_____

Pluralist Ball

Core Rules :

-Five players per team

-Minimum one ball in play

-Lines on either side of the field

-One point for getting the initial ball across the line, which resets the game to the starting positions

-Touching a player holding the ball requires them to exit the field for the play

-No contact that could injure a player is allowed

-First team to ten points wins

Adaptive Rules :

Each team is allowed to know who the other team is before the game begins, and each team blindly submits one rule to add to the game. After hearing the two submitted rules, each team may submit another rule. Teams have to decide on these rules amongst themselves, with no outside help, in under five minutes.

These rules cannot violate the core rules, nor can they introduce new dangers to the players. They can be as dumb as you kids want though, there’s no rule against that.

Game Records :

Game 1 - The Fighting Vending Machines vs The Clever Names

Bonus Rules : No freezing players, no freezing players, no grabbing the ball with hands, a goal from a ratroach wins the game

Outcome : The Clever Names won, 1 to 9.

Game 2 - The Clever Names vs The Basement Crawlers

Bonus Rules : The touch rule applies to anyone who has most recently moved the ball, no special points for specific species scoring goals, if camracondas freeze all opposing players at once it counts as a game win, no grabbing the ball with hands

Outcome : The Clever Names won, 0 to 8.

Game 3 - The Basement Crawlers vs The Fighting Vending Machines

Bonus Rules : No alternate win conditions, no alternate win conditions, no freezing players, no freezing players.

Outcome : The Fighting Vending Machines won, 10 to 8.

Anyone interested in seeing further games of Pluralist Ball should visit the back lot, where our youth groups will be working hard to remind us why we don’t let kids make the rules to sports, and having a great time doing it.

-El-

_____

From : [email protected]

To : [email protected]

Subj : Re : Sales Offer

Body :

Ms. Barkdust

I would like to offer my sincere apologies for the behavior of my colleague yesterday. While I hope you will understand that he assumed your contact was an elaborate hoax, it is my professional opinion that he should be removed from our accounts team for incompetence. If you require that as part of any ongoing offers in the future, I can work with our management to make that happen.

Regarding your offer, our company would officially be delighted to accept a long term sales contract with your organization. Naturally, we are understanding if terms have changed due to Mr. Banson’s behavior, but are open to renegotiation at your earliest convenience. Our accounts team just has a few questions regarding the details before we proceed.

1 - Do you require that your identity and/or origin be kept as a secret, either industry or otherwise?

2 - Are you aware of the fact that your stated offer was at significantly under the going rate for the price of platinum on the global market? The rates that are googleable aren’t inaccurate, but this is low even for inside industry rates.

3 - Our HR department would like to know if you have a preferred form of address or name usage, for all of our hopefully long term contact.

4 - Can the source of the platinum on offer be traced to anywhere on Earth that would be an issue, going forward?

Aside from these questions, and if you are still willing, we would be thrilled to work with your organization to a mutually beneficial result. We are prepared to move any quantity of material you can provide us with.

Thank you for your time

Jeremy Kilgor, Senior Account Manager

_

From : [email protected]

To : [email protected]

Subj : Re : Sales Offer

Body :

Mr. Kilgor

I admit, I am surprised to hear from a representative of your company. But your attitude is a vast improvement on your colleague, and I believe we will have no problems working together. I do understand that, frustrating as it is to admit, the vast majority of humans are not used to the concept of working with nonhuman life. And as you are personally agreeable, we can put this behind us.

As to your questions, first and foremost, no, our identity is not a secret. You will find, I think, that if you tell your friends and family that your new material intake account is a seemingly artificial biomechanical serpent, they will simply not believe you. This has been an ongoing issue. But there is no need for secrecy. To answer your HR department’s question, Texture-Of-Barkdust is a full name, and preferred for professional contact. Ms. Barkdust is acceptable enough as a shortening.

We are aware that our prices are below market rate. This is not an issue for us, and we will not feel taken advantage of. The largest issue we face is finding buyers for material that has no paper trail. I can assure you that it is not stolen in any way, and that it is in fact from Earth. To answer the question that you weren’t quite asking, I am also from Earth, in my own way. The world is somewhat larger than you might have believed, though it is our hope that this will be an opportunity for all of us.

If your company is serious about being able to take any amount, we would like to start our relationship with two tons delivered weekly, for a one year commitment. Original contract terms and rates applying.

Thank you

Texture-Of-Barkdust, OOER Knight

_

From : [email protected]

To : [email protected]

Subj : Re : Sales Offer

Body :

Texture-Of-Barkdust

Absolutely. We’ll have the paperwork signed and sent back within the hour.

I look forward to working with your organization.

Thank you

Jeremy Kilgor, Senior Account Manager

_

From : [email protected]

To : [email protected]

Subj : I Can Put Whatever I Want Here, I Have Become Unfireable

Body :

Boss

You’re gonna give me a raise, a promotion, a bottle of the good stuff, and a two month vacation. Then you’re gonna let me slug Banson. Once. In the face. No warning, no repressions. Clear it with HR first for me.

Jeremy

_____

Make No Excuses, Tolerate No Exceptions

-Crest on the floor of the Response lobby, unofficial motto-

_____

I am not the original poster! That would be u/sistersomethingthrowaway. Originally posted in r/raisedbynarcissists.

Please remember the no brigading rule. Do not comment on the original post or DM OOP

Trigger Warnings : Possible mental instability. Generally weird

Original post August of 2021

I (18F) live in Washington with my mom (45?F) and my sister (16F). I remember we moved here kinda suddenly, but honestly, it’s sort of a blur because I was busy with trying to finish high school and there was a lot of stress with getting my grades transferred, and I just… it was bad. Bad time for everyone. Doesn’t help that my mom is everything this sub could have warned me about if I’d seen it before.

I am working on getting out, I am keeping it together. But there’s something really fucking weird that I need to know if it can happen. My mom lies, a lot, so I don’t know if I can trust her. But I also don’t know if she’s lying when she answers me on this.

For the last week, every time I wake up, I’ve had this thought that I should say good morning to my sisters. But I only have one sister? I kind of sort of have a vague impression of growing up with two other girls, though. So, I guess I’m asking, is it possible my mom is gaslighting me into believing another person doesn’t exist? My actual sister that I know is real says I’m going crazy, and I don’t not believe her, but I just need to know. Can this even happen?

Notable comments on the original post

It’s happened to a lot of people that older siblings will leave when they’re young, and the nparents will try to pretend they never existed. I’d look into birth records, if that’s an option.

The worst part of growin up like this. You can’t tell if you’re crazy, even if you legitimately are crazy. Do you remember details of the other sister?

OOP has a few comments talking about details, but nothing anyone can use to identity her. Thread was inconclusive and no updates for a while

Update post, same account, December of 2022

Holy shit. I found her.

A year ago, I posted that I felt like my (19f) mom (45?f) was lying about me having another sister when I was younger. Everyone was supportive, but nothing happened. I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe some kind of masterful detective work to help me? It was dumb of me.

But the feeling didn’t go away. I kept feeling like there was a person missing. I got out of my nMom’s place, got into therapy, and my therapist tried to help, but it just wasn’t working out.

And then I saw her! Just on a random TikTok! One of those ones of the weird group of people that just show up and solve problems, the ones that no one ever talks about and only get a few comments? It was her! I don’t know how I know, but it was absolutely the person I keep thinking of!

I don’t know how to contact her. The video’s taken down already, too. But I knw she’s real now, and i know what she looks like, and I’m not crazy! I was right!

Comments on the followup post:

(OOP), you need to be careful here. Talk to your therapist about this, don’t go randomly contacting people you see on the internet because they fill a hole your nmom made in your heart.

Wait, what vids are you even talking about? I’m shamefully on TikTok all the time, and I’ve never seen anything like this. Do you have a link?

Oh shit. I think I know who you are. I’m reaching out to you in DMs, and hoping you check this account more than once a year.

There have been no further updates. Marked as in progress.

Reminder to readers of this sub : Please do not contact OOP. And keep the comments civil. This seems like a young woman legitimately going through a hard time, we don’t need people making fun of a mental breakdown in here.

_____

If you’re reading this, welcome to the antimemetics training program.

-Untouched PowerPoint slide in the briefing warehouse, origin unknown-

_____

Response Division, Disciplinary Report

Responder : Marcus I

Upon being notified by the civilian oversight group, further investigation and action was taken on responder Mike ‘Mikey’ DuBois.

The initial incident was a matter of overuse of force during an altercation. Mikey moved directly to painfully restrain a civilian having a mental health crisis, without attempting to deescelate or provide aid. Review of teammate’s stored footage shows there was no visible risk to either responder, or the civilian, and no reasonable excuse for the action.

Normally, this would trigger the suspension of Mikey from Response pending confirmation from his therapist and a round of retraining. However, further investigation into his actions during his off hours show a flagrantly unsafe abuse of the issued Status Quo shield bracer for cheap laughs, as well as potential theft of skill orbs from another Order member.

Active immediately, Mikey is suspended on my authority. Further recommendation for removal from Response, with no course to reenter, and mandatory counseling to remain with the Order in general.

Addendum - Followup Action Taken

Responder : Harvey Allison

Mr. DuBois has been removed from Response’s roster on a permanent basis, and has elected not to remain with the Order of Endless Rooms. Pass along my thanks to the civilian oversight group for the quick catch before this went too far.

I suppose it was only a matter of time. No excuses, though.

_____

Pinned message :

Lair Production Enhancements

General : Increased monetary value, fewer errors (limited per week)

Clothing : Faster

Electronics : Cheaper, faster (or slower if it would make it work better)

Construction : Materials processing,

Coffee : Faster

Books (including magazines, but not notes or correspondence) : Fewer typos, more time for writing, improved reaction from readers

Food : Additional output from materials

Nothing works on rebuilds or repairs, except for the first book effect.

_

Nik (Research, M) : Hey, looping a few people into this chat for a minute.

Reed (He/Him) : Oh, yeah, sure.

Hey, so, there’s some spare time theorizing going on.

I’ll sum it up, so you don’t have to read back over everything.

Texture-Of-Barkdust : I have already read the logs. The skulljacks are exceptionally useful for text inputs.

Mars!~ : He’s not gonna see that before he finishes typing.

JuanJuan (M) : Uh, I was doing schoolwork, I wouldn’t mind a recap.

Color-Of-Dawn (Camraconda / NB / Student?) : I also do not read quickly with the skulljack.

[Rufus] : a.

Reed (He/Him) : So the Lair has something like fifty or sixty unique green orb effects at this point, and while we’re stacking useful ones like the trash removal and extra spaces, we haven’t really gone all in on making dedicated production spaces. We do actually sorta make a lot of our own stuff; the riot armor is more useful than ceramic plate for most of our delves, and it’s easy to produce, we’re starting to grow a bunch of food here in addition to just preparing meals, that kinda thing. But so far, all of the greens that actually modify making things are sort of in a weird subcategory, and I wanted to ask some people from Officium Mundi before we all went off the rails. Also yeah, finished typing before I read that. Oops.

Texture-Of-Barkdust : You say subcategory, and you mean that all of our known effects relate in some way to the business that surrounded Officium Mundi in this world, yes?

Nik (Research, M) : Pretty much. It’s all office stuff. Coffee, tech, printed media. Even the construction can be explained by the building being constantly remodeled before it was ours.

Mars!~ : And after.

We’re doing remodels right now.

I’m filling the walls with high capacity fiberoptic cable.

[Rufus] : a.

Mars!~ : Oh, so in the event of a catastrophe, someone can mind meld with the building, and use a shield bracer.

I’m filling the walls with shield bracers too.

It’s an ongoing process.

[Rufus] : a.

Color-Of-Dawn (Camraconda / NB / Student?) : was there a question?

Nik (Research, M) : Right, sorry! So, is this normal? Do you know if this is constant, is what we wanna know. Can we, eventually, find one that makes… I dunno, pottery more durable if we make it here??

Mars!~ : Also can it get into technologies that don’t exist in the general populace.

Spaceships.

Is what I’m saying.

Can it make us build better spaceships.

Texture-Of-Barkdust : I do not believe my own group would have observed more green orb effects than yourselves.

Color-Of-Dawn (Camraconda / NB / Student?) : we ate them

Texture-Of-Barkdust : Yes. Shameful and horrifying as it is, we had more pressing priorities at the time. I can tell you the physical details of the totemic construct that kept us safe, as can Watcher-Under-Stone, but as to the conceptual limits of our ‘loot drops’, I know very little.

Reed (He/Him) : Partly, we’re interested in recreating a totem like that, since it seemed like an effective form of protection if it even worked on a dungeon from inside a dungeon. Knowing the ‘conceptual limits’ of greens would probably help. But if no one knows, we can just keep cracking them.

JuanJuan (M) : Woah wait. Details like enough to build one?

Mars!~ : Doesn’t work. We’ve tried.

They need something else.

Texture-Of-Barkdust : You should talk to Watcher-Under-Stone, or Thought-Of-Quiet. They, out of all of us, have done the most preserving the history of our tribulations.

[Rufus] : b.

Nik (Research, M) : Yeah, what Rufus said. They go by TQ now.

Texture-Of-Barkdust : Ah. Noted.

Reed (He/Him) : Well, it’s moot anyway. It’s not like we’re gonna build a farm somewhere else just to test. We already know greens adapt to the place they’re used, and our places are the places we want to buff. We’ve got a wave of initiates coming in though that we want as full members, so they’re getting the intro package. We’ll get a whole new pile of data then.

Reed (He/Him) : Thanks for your time, guys.

[Rufus] : b.

Reed (He/Him) : Thanks for your time, friends.

[Rufus] : a.

_____

Winter’s Climb Upcoming Schedule

Days now changing to Wednesday / Sunday to match common breach times! Contact Sarah to double check your schedule!

2/15 : Ethan’s team, planned for 2k feet, easy route. Joel M, Z. Yai, Scent-Of-Rain, confirmed as guests

2/19 : Ethan’s team, planned for 1k feet, easy route. Shallah, Rufus, Ganesh, Morgan W., confirmed as guests.

2/22 : Charlie’s team, planned for 2k feet minimum, book hunt. Myles L., Bea, Knife-In-Fangs, Simon N., confirmed as guests. Update : Nate M. and Yin P. previously missing, have been reconfirmed.

2/26 : Ethan’s team, planned for 1k feet, easy route. Reed M., Donny B., Shivam R., Vadik L., confirmed as guests.

All schedules subject to change due to “the state of things”. (Injuries, illness, crises, spontaneous end of the world scenarios, etc.)

Anyone delving to unlock spell slots for the first time, remember to double check the list of spellbooks below that we have on offer. Build counseling is available on Friday nights, after group therapy. Books will be added as we find them!

Winter’s Climb Available Spellbooks :

Thermodynamic Tunnel - Utility

Creates a stable link between two points, moving ‘heat’ from one point to the other at a steady rate.

Mountain Of The Self - Defense

Provides slightly less than one second of near-perfect invulnerability. Massive Breath cost, not recommended.

Iced Veins - Medical

Converts liquid into a blood transfusion, with increased effectiveness the colder the liquid is, and the closer it is to pure water.

Fractal Avalanche - Movement/Offense

Creates multiple divergent versions of yourself on different paths to a target. All versions are the same you, don’t worry about personality drift.

Mesa Oasis - Medical

Converts an addiction or compulsion into an increased thirst. Lasts roughly one week, moderate Breath cost, can be shared.

Shadow of Winter - Utility

Forms a limb out of ice. Ice is created from nothing, and is real. More Breath can be put in to alter the size, strength, and sensitivity of the limb.

Cloud Prowler - Fun

Makes a snow cat. Providing snow or ice makes it bigger. Doesn’t last long, but each person’s cat is the same cat every time, and it maintains memory. The cat can’t really fight, it’s just cute!

Worldwalker Piton - Movement

Prevents you from tripping, losing traction, or falling. Focused on the feet, so if you have the Breath, you can walk up a wall. Not as useful as it sounds.

Frost Vector - Movement / Utility

Removes friction from between a surface and one object. ‘Surface’ has to be something large enough to support standing on, but the other object can be anything.

Survival Flare - Offense / Utility

Pulls nearby heat into target object, cooling the area and potentially damaging or igniting the target. Acts slow, but lasts for a few minutes consistently.

_____

Bathhouse Rules :

No running!

No throwing things into other pools!

No body shaming!

Be polite, be comfortable!

Remember to purify your pool when done.

Replace brooches on wall hooks.

Replace pool toys in buckets.

Towels in the laundry baskets.

Baths will be closed next week for something Mark and Bill are calling their ‘latest magnum opus’.

_____

Mr. And Mrs. Taylor

This letter is to inform you, with great sorrow, of the death of your daughter. I wish I had a better way to say it, or to contact you, but this was the only way we could find, and I hope the letter has found you.

Your daughter’s death was a tragedy, but she died trying to help others. I just thought you should know that. If nothing else, you should know that.

If you have any questions you would like answers to, especially if you do not remember having a daughter, please contact us. We are prepared to give you anything we can to help. Also her surviving personal effects are in our possession.

Respectfully

Amanda Wolly, Order of Endless Rooms, Recovery branch

_____

Please do not feed this plant blood, even if it asks nicely.

-Sign in LA office, next to Ferndinan-

Yes, including nonhuman blood, thank you for requiring this clarification.

-Sign in LA office, below the first sign, next to a slightly larger Ferndinan-

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Order of Endless Rooms Operations Manual, Section 4, Part 1-18 (Officium Mundi Native Life, Wi-Figments)

This entry has recently changed to confirmed.

Wi-Figments are living electrical signals, that cover areas of space within Officium Mundi. It is not known if their bodies are the signal, or the space they live inside, or if they have bodies.

The creatures don’t display any normal infomorph characteristics, and are closer to a phenomenon than a living thing, but repeated interaction makes it clear that they are alive and can react to stimulus.

Wi-Figments within the outer five miles of Officium Mundi are relatively weak. Despite the name, they don’t actually interfere with wi-fi signals that have even basic encryption, and instead will interrupt and interject into radio transmissions. Attempted communication with a wi-figment results in increased hostility, and attempts to cause electric shocks through whatever hardware they have recently interacted with. Destroying hijacked hardware does not harm a wi-figment, and attempts to trap one within specific hardware has proven unsuccessful.

Past the five mile line inside Officium Mundi, wi-figment zones become far stronger, and have demonstrated the ability to take over drone connections, and insert false data into skulljack links.

IMPORTANT : NETWORKED PERSONS SHOULD NEVER APPROACH A WI-FIGMENT PAST THE SAFE DISTANCE

The simplest way to combat a wi-figment is to either leave its area, denying it the ability to cause a meaningful disruption, or to employ a signal jammer. Wi-figment areas seem incapable of moving, and five to ten minutes of saturated exposure to a strong enough signal jammer causes a green orb drop from the central point.

Green orbs dropped by wi-figments have so far always had at least three additional emotional resonance ranks, indicating a red component to the life.

_____

Magical Underground Garden Barbeque Night

Next Saturday

Come enjoy the simple delights of how cool this place is and meet your neighbors!

Make Nate’s job easier by showing off your dad-skills on the grill!

Vegetarian options plentiful! Bring some chips or something!

-Poster on the community board, art deco design, high turnout expected-

_____

Tag! You’re it!

-Possibly cursed sticky note found in the Research basement-

_____

Treatment Plan

Patient Name : Smoke

Species : Ratroach

Goals : Standard initial ratroach spread (elimination of pain, stabilization of internal organs, anti-rejection adaptation of body parts, reduced corrosion), lung growth purple orb adaptation (conversion of extra mass to nutrition), coloration (purple preferred, anything but white an emotional requirement for the patient), limb balancing (one extra arm, left side, see attached diagram for suggested placement), fingers (removal of claws, alter chitin to skin, improvement of thumb placements, see attached diagram)

Patient Preferences : Smoke has indicated a lack of desire to have a working voice. This appears to be due to unaddressed trauma, and while we’re willing to respect the choice, the question has been passed on to her therapist to talk about before the treatment proceeds. Coloration requirement has been discussed, and is attainable with no extra risk.

Preparation : Biology orbs on request. Patient is open to skulljack, and so custom grown teaching programs and medical .mems are being prepared. Research into pigment production ongoing. Painkiller balance in testing with patient to find optimal doses.

Treatment Estimates : 3-4 hours, 3 liters of shaper substance.

Treatment Schedule : Additional therapy and final medical consent check required before scheduling.

_____

Taking a personal day to think. Back on Wednesday. Might be around downstairs, call if you need anything urgent.

-Note on office door shared by James and Rufus-

Clarification : James is taking a personal day. Rufus is still available.

-Followup note, written in purple sparkle gel pen on same page-