“As Arylos said; he helped.”

Thoth’s words hung in Iris’s mind as she stared at the body of the once sick man. She could feel Arylos’s frustration as if it was her own to bear. And yet, she could not take the weight of it for him and looking at the body and the hole in the man’s head reminded Iris of that. As Thoth sighed and approached the body, Iris took a few steps backwards, shaking her head in disbelief. She felt as though she was completely out of her own depth; that she had no avenue to try and help the mourning Titan after burning the one bridge she had with him.

Without a word, she turned and rushed out of the tent, looking around frantically as she nearly ran through the cavern halls and scanning the shadows for any sign of Arylos. She knew him well enough to know that the last thing he wants right now is to be around people. She rushed past curious onlookers and gave them no mind as she turned every corner to look for him. After getting a good distance away from the tent, she turned back around, realizing Arylos could not have gotten far in the time since he left. She knew that he would find somewhere dark and secluded to think and searched for her Titan. Yet as she scanned each corner for a tall man with a staff, she came up empty.

Iris felt her eyes moisten as she began to run, rushing to find any sign of the Titan. As she searched, she ran through what to say in her mind; she knew the last thing he needed was to be alone and she knew that he would apologize first. She needed to take the chance and correct her mistake before Arylos could apologize for his. Yet, all of this hinged on her finding him, and yet he was nowhere in sight.

She turned around another corner and froze in place as she scanned around barrels and boxes that sat up against the cavern wall that was devoid of any light. And yet she couldn’t see his glowing eyes in the dark light. She let out a shuddered sigh as she swallowed her tears, telling herself that now was not the time to cry. Her shoulders shrank down as she tried to keep herself from giving up; convincing herself to find somewhere else he could have ran to.

As she turned, she could hear a shuffling sound far off to her side that caught her attention. A sound that was soft like a mouse running across the floor, and yet in the silence of the cavern, it pierced her ears with impossible clarity. She slowly turned and a small alcove to her side caught her attention. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could see a shape that seemed out of place. As she drew near, she could make out the shape of a person curled up in the alcove covered in a shambled blanket and she could see a familiar staff to the person’s side.

Iris sighed as she slowly knelt down as her expression softened. “Arylos?” she called out softly, hesitating to pull the blanket away from the person’s head. Once she called out, she saw the figure under the blanket move and she could hear a soft whimpering that told her she had found what she was looking for. She resituated herself and sat down on the cavern floor and pulled close as she grabbed the blanket and pulled it away. Her heart skipped to see Arylos looking back at her with disdain in his bloodshot eyes and his face wet with tears as he sat huddled against the alcove wall.

Iris could say nothing as she rested her hand on Arylos’s forearm as he watched her with his conflicting emotions waging war on his face. His eyes darted around and she could see the anger slowly fade away as he tried desperately to resist his desire for her. She desperately called for the words of her apology to come to her and yet they left her in the moment. Before she could summon the words, Arylos suddenly lurched forward and embraced Iris, holding her tight and hiding his face as he began to break down into crying fits again.

Iris stammered as she slowly held the Titan, rubbing his back and running her fingers through his hair. Her eyes darted around for an explanation before she began to realize that he didn’t need an apology; he needed her. “Oh sweetie,” she sighed as she warmed up to him and held him tighter. As Arylos cried, she could only make shushing noises as she held him tight, feeling his nails dig into her back as his crying became louder and furious; unable to control the raging emotions that came out like a torrent.

Iris kissed the side of Arylos’s face and held him as tight as she could, clutching his hair as she fought back her own emotions and couldn’t find any words to help her. Arylos then slowly pulled away from her, taking in the cold now that he was no longer in her arms. Without a word, Iris repositioned her back towards the wall and pulled Arylos’s head to her chest, letting the Titan rest against her as he continued to fight his emotions.

“I’m sorry honey,” Iris said softly while running her fingers along the Titan’s scalp. “I said something horrible and I hurt you in a way I didn’t think I could.”

Arylos sighed as he nestled against Iris, taking one of her hands and examining it gently. “And I’m sorry that I let myself be angry with you,” he said in a shameful voice as he pressed her hand to his forehead so he could feel her warmth. “I never thought I could, but I felt…rage with you. I should have never let that happen.”

“Darling, I disrespected your emotions for me; I deserve you being mad at me,” Iris said with a soft laugh to mask her shame.

“I should not be forgiven for that,” Arylos said softly and as he nuzzled his face against her hand, she could feel tears well up for him again. “I should not be forgiven for anything I have done; all I have done is hurt and kill,” he continued in a soft voice that began to lose its telltale growl. Before Iris could say anything, Arylos lifted himself back up and she could see tears stream down the Titan’s face. “But do you know what makes it hurt more?” Arylos continued as he began to break down again, whimpering as he looked towards Iris. “Even with everything I had done, for making everything worse, for making everyone suffer, do you know what he told me?”

Iris gently reached for Arylos’s face, rubbing his cheekbone as the Titan leaned into her hand. “He forgave me,” Arylos continued as the crying wracked him as he lowered his head. “He fucking forgave me for what I did. How can he forgive me of all people when I can’t even forgive myself?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Iris said softly while cupping Arylos’s face in both of her hands. She stammered a moment before letting out a sigh while pulling Arylos back towards her chest, letting the Titan cry softly as she held him, making shushing noises to calm him down. “My sweet husband, I know it hurts you and I know you’re afraid, but that doesn’t mean we can lose ourselves in it.”

“But one day you will die and it will be my fault,” Arylos cried loudly as he clutched at Iris’s shirt. “How can you forgive me for that? How can I forgive myself for that?”

Iris sighed as she once again stroked Arylos’s hair, watching the facade of the emotionless Titan fall away and reveal a lost and lonely child crying in her arms. She realized that she couldn’t tell him the truth; that her life was shorter than he thought. She knew that would be the last straw for him as she shed tears for the Titan. She resigned herself as she lowered her head and gently kissed the Titan’s scalp and held him tighter to keep the wind from blowing him away.

“Because those who are afraid to die will never truly live,” Iris said softly while slowly rocking the Titan. “That was one of the many things you taught me. I know you’re afraid and I know that you’re hurt, but we can’t let that stop us from living our lives and doing what we need to.”

Arylos hid his face in Iris’s chest as he took in her warmth, unable to stop the torrent of crying that plagued him. Iris could only hold onto her husband in an attempt to keep him grounded in reality as she let the Titan cry his eyes out. As she leaned her head against the wall, she twirled Arylos’s hair and ran her fingers through his hair as she let him cry. Slowly, after a few minutes, she could hear his crying grow quieter yet his grip on her tightened until even that too grew weaker. Iris began to space out as she looked out from the alcove into the dark caverns, hypnotized by the silence. She then eventually snapped out of her trance yet the Titan that clung to her chest remained; silent save for a soft growl that vibrated in his chest like a purring cat.

Iris brushed strands of hair out of Arylos’s face and realized that he was sound asleep in the same position and his eyes were still damp with tears. She let out a sigh as a smile creeped up on her as she admired the sleeping Titan. She found a side of him that was almost cute to her; a side of the Titan cursed with eternal life who cried himself to sleep in his wife’s arms. She couldn’t help but cradle Arylos, kissing his scalp once more while the Titan slept, growling softly from the stimulus.

Off to her side, Iris could hear footsteps approaching from out in the caverns. As she turned towards the source, she could see Bellona’s familiar face approach while carrying a lantern that gently lit the alcove. “There you are, I’ve been—”

Iris very sharply shushed Bellona while gesturing with her finger to her lips before pointing down towards the sleeping Arylos. Bellona let out a smile as she moved her lantern away and knelt down next to Iris. “Well, I certainly didn’t expect this from him,” she said in a soft voice while masking a laugh.

Iris chuckled softly as she turned back towards Arylos and ran her fingers through his hair, tracing out his ear. “Seven years ago, I would have thought this was an act or even a lie if I didn’t see it myself. Back then, he was so emotionless and cold.”

“To be fair, he still is,” Bellona commented with a smirk.

“Well yes, but he’s at least feeling things now,” Iris said while rolling her eyes. “Before, he wouldn’t let himself feel anything but pain and just shrug it off. Now, he’s actually feeling it and trying to understand it. Maybe that way, he can come to terms with it.”

“Yeah, but how many more emotional outbursts of his can you stand?” Bellona asked sarcastically.

“As many as I need to,” Iris answered softly, continuing to brush Arylos’s hair with her fingers. “He’s my problem now, and it’s better that he isn’t alone.”

Bellona chuckled softly and nodded before slowly getting up from the cavern floor. “Well, he is your husband, so you can carry him out of here.”

Iris cast a glare to Bellona that was like a knife being thrown at her as Bellona ran out of Iris’s sight. As quick as her glare came, it left Iris as she looked back down to the sleeping Titan. With everything that had happened over the past few years, she wondered how much of it was real or a dream. She wondered if it was even right or natural, knowing that she held an eternal being in her arms. She wondered if this was the right thing to do.

And then she wondered why any of that even mattered in the first place.