Verdan woke to a throbbing headache that seemed to go all the way to the back of his skull. Blinking blearily, he slowly sat up and took a look around.

He seemed to be in a bedroom, but not one he recognised. A pair of bottles stood on the table next to him, one completely empty and the other with just a small amount left.

Groaning slightly as he got to his feet, Verdan realised that he must have passed out from the strain of creating the Aether construct. That was twice in a month that he’d cast beyond his limits.

Admittedly, the first time had been because he was casting powerful magic, but the layered construct he’d made should have been within his capability. He’d made things like that before; he knew he could do it.

Then again, he hadn’t been borderline sleep deprived and under intense stress the last time.

Verdan rubbed his face and flinched as he touched his nose, a dull ache following the accidental contact.

“You’re awake, good,” Natalia’s voice came from the door as she entered the room, carrying a wooden tray that held several vials. She wasn’t wearing her veil or gloves, so Verdan assumed they were somewhere in her home. “How do you feel?”

“Not great,” Verdan admitted, leaning back against the wall and taking a deep breath. “My head is pounding, and I think my nose is broken.”

“Was broken,” Natalia corrected, putting the tray on the table and pulling a chair up to sit next to the bed. “Elliot said you hit the floor face first. It made quite a mess, apparently. Fortunately, he brought you straight here, and I fed you some healing potions.”

“Thank you,” Verdan said, hating that he’d made himself a burden to the others.

“It’s not a problem. I’m just glad you’re okay,” Natalia said with a sigh. “You’re in one of the servant rooms, by the way. I got Elliot to put you here so I could keep watch on you overnight.”

“I’m sorry for causing you work. I’ll get out of your way,” Verdan said, moving to rise to his feet. He wouldn’t be able to cast spells for a few hours, but he could heal himself later.

“Not so fast; we need to discuss your health,” Natalia said, rising from her chair to push him back down to a sitting position. Her blue eyes were hard as she stared him down, seemingly daring him to resist. “We’re all aware that you’ve been pushing yourself too hard, and Elliot mentioned that you acted strangely about a spell you cast earlier in the day. Tell me honestly, was what happened because you pushed too much?”

“Yes,” Verdan admitted reluctantly, unwilling to lie to her.

“Good, thank you for not lying to me,” Natalia said, sitting down again and folding one leg over the other as she seemed to settle into position. “Now, I think it’s past time that we talked about whatever is bothering you.”

“I’m not sure that I can,” Verdan said in a choked voice, looking away from her as his hands curled into fists and he tried to control himself.

A soft hand marred with rough scars gently grabbed him by the chin and turned his head back to her, their faces mere inches apart and her bright eyes threatening to draw him in past his control.

“My scars run deep, and I have let them define me; please don’t make the same mistake. I can tell that something is eating at you. Let me help you as you have helped me,” Natalia said softly, her hand shifting to cup his cheek for a moment before she withdrew. “Here, drink this; it should help with the pain.” She passed him one of the vials she’d brought in.

“Thank you,” Verdan whispered, taking the vial with a slightly trembling hand and drinking it in one. The headache began to fade straight away, leaving behind blessed relief in its wake.

“I’m glad I can help,” Natalia said, smiling slightly before watching him expectantly.

“I don’t know where to begin,” Verdan said after a few moments, unable to meet her gaze.

“The beginning is always the best place to start, wherever that would be for you.”

“The beginning,” Verdan repeated with a mirthless chuckle. “Are you sure you want to go back that far?”

“I have the time. We can start wherever you like,” Natalia said, her words making something crumble inside Verdan.

Since he first woke up, Verdan had given half-truths and omissions when he talked about where he was from, and the yearning to tell someone the truth had only grown.

“Can I trust you?” Verdan asked, feeling himself teetering on the edge of spilling everything to her.

“You know you can,” Natalia said softly, one hand coming out to rest on his thigh. “Let me share this burden with you.”

“My name is Verdan Blacke, Imperial Wizard and research fellow at the Heolaeth Institute. I was born a citizen of the Grym Imperium and was conscripted to fight in the war.” Verdan said it all as fast as he could, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders as he finally told someone.

“I don’t know what that means,” Natalia said with a slightly confused expression on her face.

“The Grym Imperium is what I believe current historians would call the First Imperium. Gregory Devro said the coins I had predated the Third Imperium.”

“That’s impossible; you would be thousands of years old,” Natalia said in wide-eyed shock.

“The Imperium was in the grip of a terrible civil war, and a powerful Witch used her death-curse on me. From the moment the curse began, I was in pain, and day by day, it got worse. At first, what was little more than an odd sensation was mind-destroying agony by the end.” Verdan shivered in recollection of the time after he was cursed, feeling it grow inexorably stronger.

“That sounds horrible,” Natalia said with a shiver.

“It almost killed me,” Verdan said honestly, remembering how close he’d come to ending it himself. That was the purpose of the curse, though, to drive the target to unthinkable lengths to escape the pain. “My mentor and I developed a spell, though, one that would put me into stasis to sleep out the curse. Each time I woke, I cast the spell again, eventually leaving me to wake up on the day I rescued Kai and the others.”

“Gods above,” Natalia murmured, her gaze sharpening as she studied Verdan momentarily. “That does explain a few things.”

“I do stand out a little,” Verdan said with a strained smile.

“That’s not what’s eating you up, though, is it?” Natalia asked, her gaze seeming to pierce to his core.

“No,” Verdan admitted, his hands trembling as long-buried emotions surged to the fore. “The day it all happened, we were on patrol for any attempts to flank the main force. Wizards like me weren’t strong enough for the main fight, so we acted as support.” Verdan paused to take a steadying breath, his gaze fixed on the floor before him. “We encountered a group of scouts and engaged them. My soldiers fought theirs while I duelled their wizard.”

“It’s okay, you can do this,” Natalia said, suddenly on the bed beside him with a comforting hand on his back.

“The Wizard, I didn’t recognise him with everything going on, but his name was Aadan. We were friends before the war; I grew up with his wife, Gloria. I killed him without even hesitating. I only found out it was Aadan when we checked the bodies later.”

“Oh gods, I’m so sorry, Verdan,” Natalia said, one of her hands covering his own and giving it a comforting squeeze.

“I don’t know how, but Gloria found out that it had been me,” Verdan said faintly, lost in his memories. “She tracked me down on my next patrol and slaughtered my men. She was always strong, the best Hex Witch I ever met.” Verdan saw her again in his mind’s eye, tears streaming down her face as she ripped his Aether away and demanded answers. “She lost control when she found out that I hadn’t even known it was him. One of my men was still alive, enough to distract her before she could kill me. Then I killed her.” Verdan’s voice broke as he ducked his head, unable to bear seeing the pity in Natalia’s eyes.

“She was trying to kill you,” Natalia said, gripping his chin once more to draw his eyes to hers. “You did what you had to, it was terrible, but I don’t blame you.”

“She was my oldest friend, and I killed her,” Verdan said in a choked voice, letting the grief truly wash over him for the first time.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Natalia whispered, her face close to his.

They sat together for a time, neither of them speaking as Verdan allowed himself to grieve for his friend.

“Thank you,” Verdan said eventually, feeling a sense of relief for finally talking about it. “I’ve been avoiding sleeping as she’s been haunting my dreams. I just see her face, see her anguish, the look of betrayal as she looks at me.”

“You’ve let this fester in your mind. You need to acknowledge what you did so you can move past it,” Natalia said, resting a hand on his chest as she rose and pushed him back onto the bed. “Drink this. It will let you sleep without dreams.” She took one of the several vials in the tray and passed it to him, but Verdan hesitated.

“No dreams?”

“None at all,” Natalia reassured him, pressing the vial into his hands. Verdan considered it for a moment before passing the vial back to her.

“No, I need to get through this, as you said. Avoiding my dreams is just going to make it take longer.”

“Then take this one, it will help you sleep, but it will be a natural sleep,” Natalia said, swapping the vial for a different one from her selection.

“You were prepared for everything, weren’t you,” Verdan said, shaking his head with a soft chuckle.

“You could say that, yes,” Natalia’s eyes twinkled as she passed him the new vial, a satisfied smile playing across her face as he drank it. “Now, try to rest. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

Verdan passed her back the empty vial and returned the smile, letting himself settle back into the bed.

He could still feel the pain when he thought about Gloria, but it didn’t feel as sharp anymore.

Natalia gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze and left the room, leaving Verdan to slowly slip away into sleep.