《Through the Stars, Darkly》64. Where matters of belief are discussed
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In the weeks that followed, Halden spent most of his time with Vina. It was good to be around someone again, to have someone to talk to. He had been alone for such a long time...
Despite their physical resemblance, the two women were very different. Their personalities were polar opposites.
Where Marcia was cold and stern, Vina was kind and soft-spoken.
Where Marcia was always in a hurry, Vina was patient.
Where Marcia had never listened to him, Vina was a wonderful listener.
Not that he had actually told her anything, but he could feel she would drink his words up.
Truth be told, she did most of the talking.
Vina was an only child who had lost both her parents shortly after she’d turned eighteen. They had joined the kahd movement a few months prior and, in true kahdian fashion, had set themselves on fire to purify their bodies and souls and make one with nature.
It had been a hard blow that left deep-seated roots within her. Understandably, she now hated the kahds with a passion and, by extension, all forms of organized religions.
Perhaps hate was not the right word—except where the kahds were concerned. Other beliefs were merely treated with a healthy dose of skepticism.
“So what do you think of the Qevahri?” he asked her one day.
She shrugged. “Same as the others.”
“So you don’t believe there is a god out there?”
“Do you?”
He chuckled. “No, not really.”
“Well, there you go.”
“I’m just trying to understand how you look at things... I mean, so many people believe, why not you?”
“I could ask the same of you, but okay, I’ll play along.” She paused a moment, looking up at the stars—they often met at the observation deck. “Consider this. Each religion is different. They all have distinct sets of gods, distinct sets of beliefs. Each is convinced they have all the answers, and that only they have the answers. All others are wrong and will burn in the depths of hell—or something like that. So, is it easier to believe that they are all right, or that they are all wrong?”
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“Maybe one of them has it right.”
She laughed. “Which one? Does any strike you as more believable than another? And a god, really? I mean...” She trailed off, pondering. “If there really is a god out there, then what is the point? Why make all this? Gods, according to their believers, are supposed to be all-loving and caring... So why all the suffering? Couldn’t they just make it go away? And, really, why create us at all? Is it a game, then? Are the gods bored that they need to amuse themselves with our antics? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.”
He nodded.
As a scientist, he’d always had trouble believing in such things as well, though a part of him wished it were true. Life would make so much more sense if there really were gods.
But he knew pain all too well.
“The Qevahri are different, though,” he said. “Unlike other religions, they’ve never tried to spread, to force others to believe in what they believe.”
She glanced at him. “Then why are there Qevahri priests on this cruiser?”
He shrugged. “They’re allowed to go on vacation too, don’t you think?”
“I guess. Though going as a group makes it a bit fishy.”
Halden didn’t think so, but he said nothing.
He could understand the need for like-minded people. Especially if you came from a close-knit group and were frowned upon by the rest of the universe.
He was from such a community himself. Scientists were not loved. Not since the Emperor had made science a taboo topic. Oh, folks still talked about it, but never in polite company, and always as something only worthy of disdain. So they kept quiet about their work and stuck together.
It was ironic that the IAS was financed by the Imperium. It felt like a slap in the face. But going public about it would have been a sure way not only to destroy his career, but likely to end up in jail—if not worse.
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“A penny for your thoughts,” she said.
He looked up at her and smiled.
“Oh. Sorry. Just wondering how a peaceful people like the Qevahri could have suddenly become these blood-thirsty enemies of the Imperium.”
She shrugged and waved at the stars above.
“I’d rather focus on the beauties around us than on the ugliness.”
That, too, he could understand.
The next day, their cruiser descended slowly toward the surface of Assalin—the center of power of the Imperium.
They had arrived.
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