《Knights, Nobles, and Cannibals》Pendulum

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The big rig with a single light resembling a cyclops rammed the dirt road. She blew fat dust clouds behind two dozen tires hauling ass. The cab had been torn off the carriage by an killer moose and elephant combination. The attacking creature had removed the crucial layer of protection from all the dangerous objects that forever surrounded Jed.

The tree branches draped down like long fingernails that were broken, and swatted away by the remaining front grill of broken metal teeth filled with split arrows. The driver found himself clad in handy advanced armor that took minor damage instead of him. Acid rain had begun burning holes in the exposed bucket seats. Jed tightly gripped the wheel that was starting to melt.

A loud honking somehow managed to overpower the truck's engine. Mule had previously been revealed to be a shape shifting being without a concrete identity. The cat waiting stealthily for a bite outside the tollbooth had outed him. The intruder inside had successfully lowered the gate letting Jed drive away.

“Whatcha want me so bad for, yah whiskered bastard” honked Mule, flapping his wings in the confined area.

A shower of golden feathers flew into the air with the escaping foul mouthed bird. The guarding cat pounced at the door, and missed him by less than a wingspan. A plain looking egg fell splattering the cat that swatted it. The animal swiped frantically clawing at the walls, while blinded by a face full of moist yolk.

“Try and kill the golden goose and see what that gets you… And Jed where the fuck do you think your going” called the fowl taking off above the trees.

Later on the deep woods began to open to a brown grassland. The vehicle roared out while the white tail of a female deer escaped back into the underbrush. The road continued through a field that was full of sharp drops flanked by mounded hills covered in shrubs. The vegetation was mostly expired except a few green trees that remained growing together in a single area.

High above rain burned away goose feathers, and scorched tail bones. Mule was getting cooked. He began a rapid descending swan dive towards the ground. It was the ominous shrieks of a scorned bird trailing him somewhere high in the dark stormy skyline. Jed groaned, checking the mirror for dangerous objects. He saw a golden goose in hot pursuit.

“Trying to run from me Jed and take the profits all for yourself huh?” squawked the bird.

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“Shoot” shouted Jed pounding the wheel in frustration. “Well come on down here.. Buddy?

Jed glanced at his rifle sitting in the passenger seat, upon switching vision to the side mirror he saw the feathers rustling into a downward spiral. The vehicle groaned, shifting its load and nearly tumbling off the road without guardrails. Something clicked onto the ladder on the end of the hauled container of jungle juice. The dice remained undisturbed in the cycle. The winding path slowed down the vehicle to a crawl. The morning was mostly hidden by the storm while tumbleweeds bounced in the winds. An inhuman scream cut into the air like a knife and the vehicle violently bumped. Jed nervously gulped white knuckling the wheel. He looked in both mirrors but didn’t see any sign of his former friend.

The man behind the driver's seat began to detach into introspection while he drove. If he was making a grave mistake in his actions, then time was running low for a course correction.. He remembered Fred in what felt like several lifetimes ago going mad with paranoia that he would be attacked again by dwarves. The resulting breakdown had caused him to run away from his only friend who risked it all to help. Fred had almost certainly doomed himself gravely injured while lost out of his mind in the jungle. Was Jed doing the same thing to Mule or was his friend really his foe? That was the ultimate question driving him deeper into this nightmare.

The truck bounced, throwing Jed into the air until he was caught by the seat belt clipped. The rear-view was still attached, but the trailer blocked this view. A pair of dice swung wildly from a hypnotic thread on this mirror.

Far away a pocket watch oscillated on the same frequency over Edwards body. A dark mare snorted a stream of steam in the field ahead. It neighed an eerie bray while the area filled with mist. The dice, and watch remained on the same pendulum while the truck's single headlight transformed into a surgical light aimed downwards.

“Watch my watch as I count 1.2.3.4.5” said Killin Hood, dressed in a suit and tie.

He sat on a simple wooden chair, and held a clipboard in his other hand. The rest of the room was set with a treatment table, blank whiteboard, and nothing else. The patient remained motionless and connected to tubes of life support running red someplace else.

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“Good let the psychological evaluation commence” said Killin Hood, his chair crying as it leaned on two legs. “It’s time for me to change your mind while you’re half alive, and half dead” he set down the clipboard, and clicked open a gray pen.

The watch flew past the equilibrium whistling through the air. It went back and forth in the quiet room while rain gently hit the armored roof. The single windowpane had been boarded with a thin sheet of pulp wood. Outside lightning sparked through the gaps while thunder remained absent. A hand gently petted Edward’s deformed face while the doctor resumed the inspection.

“You appear to have already had a lobotomy, how cruel” he said behind a big smile that was cut off by the watch continuing to swing held high.

The dice continued tumbling above Jed who shifted accelerating onto a straight stretch. Camouflaged three wheeled ATVs had been waiting hidden in plain sight. They revved into the action swarming the truck like angry bees. Their little motors buzzed while chasing it.

The masked drivers swerved between the gravel road, and grass. The armored passengers aimed guns, or got ready to jump. A gyro-copter flew overhead on patrol watching the first man aboard hang on. Jed saw more three wheelers on the drivers side getting close.

“Bang!”

The big rig's mirror was blown to bits.

“So much for that” said Jed, turning the wheel hard.

The vehicles hit together as another highwayman jumped. Paint loudly scraped and sparks flew through the air.

“Get him” yelled a driver, revving away to the passenger departed.

The road grew narrower and the side gave way to a canyon. A covered bridge revealed itself far ahead as gunfire erupted overhead. Jed grimaced, angling the wheel hard the other direction. Three ATVs were hit hard with one going sideways, and off a jump. The occupants screamed towards the long fall below where they had been launched. Meanwhile the rest of the pack was drawing closer to getting a good shot on the driver.

Jed grabbed hold of his gun in one hand and jerked to attack more drivers with the vehicle. A road sign reading “low clearance ahead” beheaded a rammed three wheeler that exploded. The dice continued swinging without hitting a snag. The hypnotizing watch continued flying overhead. Edward’s eyes remained blank voids of nothing while his chest breathed in slow beats of air supply.

“Your mind accepts its new organs, as we speak the last drops of your bloodline leaves for storage. Soon I will have it for forbidden purposes, but first a king will become a lab rat” cackled Killin Hood.

Isabela cackled even harder, and almost keeled over. She watched a live stream of the procedure through her crystal ball in her shop for witchcraft practicing.

“Let’s see, oh dear I'm supposed to be monitoring those loose ends” she said, chopping off the thread of a freshly stitched witches cap.

She set down the finished article on the sewing table, next to her broom. Isabella swiped on the crystal next to her radio. The vision switched to a live chase feed from the gyrocopter pursuing the big rig. The old woman picked up her C.B. talking receiver.

“Hehe, this is granny green apple to the fly in the sky. It's time to start dropping bombs.. over, and out" ordered Isabela.

“Copy that witch, over and out” said the gyro-copter captain, giving a thumbs up to himself.

He struggled to haul a wooden box from underneath the seat while still focused on flying. The cover popped open revealing a crate of grenades. The truck below was barreling towards the bridge it wasn’t rated to go under. The highwaymen inched closer to overtake, and there weren't any more roads to travel. A bullet hit Jed in the leg sprayed from a purser.

“Mule if you're gonna help me buddy now would be the time for action” said Jed, aiming.

“Bang,bang,bang!”

Two guys in ski masks working up the jungle juice container were gunned off, and a third on a speeding three wheeler was eliminated.

“BOOM!”

An explosion blew directly into the dirt in front of the vehicle. Jed slammed forward, and rocked off a bump taking fire. The bucket seats around his resistant armor were filled with bullet holes, and the dice were engulfed in flames.

The Fly flew over the covered bridge in his small flying machine composed of rotting metal. He popped out the pin on the next nade, while turning around in the air for another fly over. He spotted massive plums of dust, and smoke threatening to overtake the entire ground level. The dish was further stirred as dirt bikes roared over the hills flanking armored 4x4s with mounted guns slowly boxing in the target.

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