The further down we went into the inner valleys the more it felt like we were stepping into another world. A different domain from the goddess’s, though such a thing was difficult to truly imagine, especially so close to the heart of Her territory.

The air became warm and sticky, even hotter than the hottest warm season days I could remember. The fog overlaid everything, but it was just thin enough to give the impression that it wasn’t truly limiting our perception since we could see our immediate surroundings. I still didn’t like being unable to see into the distance and the way it muffled sounds, but at least it wasn’t the same unnatural quiet as on the mountainside.

The plants changed too. Flowers with bright colors and long petals created broke through the haze the fog created while bushes with waxy leaves and tempting looking berries forced us into taking a weaving path down into the valley.

However, the thing that struck us dumb and still was a tree with a slim trunk and frondlike branches sticking out every which way from its top.

It was not a pine tree.

Perhaps if you squinted and tilted your head it could be vaguely like a pine tree with most of its branches sacrilegiously cut off and pine needles that had grown abnormally thick and long. But that was only if you were generous and half blind.

It wasn’t a pine tree. Even if having another type of tree in the goddess’s territory was unthinkable. They were Her universal symbol; a reminder that we lived in Her domain at the mercy of Her unpredictable will. They were a reminder of the respect She demanded and knowledge that our survival was not the goddess’s top priority. After all pine trees provided things integral to our survival but we could not so much as snap a twig from a living branch without fearing Her wrath.

Pine trees were at the center of many important boons and skills such as shadow walking as well as everything from basic survival for tribes given the tools and fires they made with dropped branches to how we understood the afterlife.

They were a symbol of the goddess’s power. The main symbol as far as many were concerned since Her other attributes weren’t always so easy to come across and they could signified with the pine tree as well, such as its shadow for darkness.

And yet, despite all that…there was not a single pine tree within eyesight. Just more of the unnatural trees…including others that didn’t seem remotely similar to original tree we found.

Did the goddess not extend Her influence here? And why would She bother with allowing these other trees to live if She did? Were the tree’s branches safe to use or would we be cursed upon touching them?

The forest of unnatural trees that had risen up in front us suddenly seemed like its own horrid version of the Statue Garden. Except worse. Shamble men at least were created out of the goddess’s will. These things were not. There was no doubt in my mind about that.

Malady shot a look the Pickers. “Did you know about this?”

Jika vehemently shook her head. “Sometimes we heard rumors from the secret band but they never mentioned anything like”—she gestured weakly at the tree—“like this.”

I doubted that. How could they neglect to mention something so fundamentally bizarre and wrong? Either Jika had spectularly failed to pay attention or perhaps this was another secret Nerco, her leader, had kept to herself.

“Do they use the wood from the valleys?” Malady continued her questioning.

Jika shrugged carefully, like she was afraid of disappointing the firestarter but couldn’t think of a better answer. “They must—unless there are pine trees deeper in the mountains. I’ve never heard of them fighting another band for dropped limbs.”

Malady didn’t look pleased with the lack of clear answers but Nine Claws gave a brisk nod and led the way forward again. Though I noticed her movements were even more smooth and careful than before.

She said, “Be careful of where you step and what you touch. This place is likely a remnant of the Other.”

Her vague warning immediately caught Prevna’s interest. “The Other?”

“Azabel.” Our group sucked in a collective breath at the unexpected mention of the goddess’s often ignored sister. Nine Claws continued, “It’s said the goddesses made pockets more suited to their tastes in each other’s territory back when they were on friendly terms. Given the oddities of this place this is likely one of them—and it is also said that not even the Beloved can always influence the goddess when it comes to Her sister.”

Jika seemed about ready to bolt back up the mountainside. “Perhaps we should just go around…”

“No.”

Malady seamlessly expanded on Nine Claw’s sharp rebuke. “We promised to escort you through the inner valleys and so we will. The goddess doesn’t provide trials you cannot overcome.”

I barely managed to keep from turning around and staring at her with open incredulity. Of course the goddess provided trials that overwhelmed everyone subjected to them. She didn’t care one whit whether we died or were permanently injured, much less whether a particular situation would prove too much for its recipient.

While those of us connected to Seedling Palace might have marginally more importance than regular tribe or band members, I sincerely doubted that the goddess considered us much at all. And if She did, you didn’t want the attention since that was as likely to kill you as any trial might.

Still, no one directly contradicted Malady’s statement. She was part of the pair meant to get us through this surreal place, so no one wanted to get on her bad side right away. I ended up glaring at the ground in front of my feet.

We continued into the valley even as we gave the weird trees as much space as we could and we took several breaks to give those carrying Colt a break. I wasn’t sure how Nine Claws was keeping her bearings. With the fog we couldn’t use any of the usual markers, like the sun’s position or the stars, but she strode forward like she knew exactly where we were without so much as leaving markers for us to retrace our steps if need be.

I vaguely knew where we were simply because if I went back up hill I should end up at the mountain’s crest but I had since lost any certainty of which way we were supposed to be going to reach the secret tribe. Nor was I the only one. The Pickers were all visibly becoming more anxious and uncertain the deeper we pressed into the valley. Perhaps they thought this unnatural place would end up being our foggy prison through sheer lack of direction or landmarks.

Irritatingly enough, Prevna seemed mostly normal as she gazed around at our weird surroundings. Sometimes she’d flash me a knowing smile or indicate a plant that would have been interesting to inspect under normal circumstances, but she didn’t seem concerned about getting lost or inciting the goddess’s wrath. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was used to traveling to all sorts of places due to growing up in her mother’s band and thus had a better sense of direction or if she just trusted that Nine Claws would make everything work out or both.

I’d roll my eyes back at her and gesture at all the weird plants. Even if I still had my healer’s beads I wasn’t sure if I would have been foolhardy enough to mess with plants that had no right to exist in the goddess’s domain.

However, part of me did wish I could break away from the group to look for the Lady of Calm Water’s mysterious friend. If she was as elusive as Esie made it sound than I doubted that I’d be able to find her tromping around with a group. Especially when everyone in that group except for Prevna didn’t know about the second mission I had been given. I had brought her up to date once we were back at Mishtaw’s place and waiting to hear when we’d be going back to the Cut.

We traveled through the inner valleys that day without incident until Nine Claws found a small clearing we could rest in with a stream nearby. The water was…warmer than it should have been but it didn’t taste off and we didn’t have another option, so we all used it to replenish our water skins and prepare for the evening meal.

Well, Malady and the Pickers used it to prepare for the evening meal while Prevna and I had some of what the Pickers made. Malady had only made food for herself and Nine Claws. For now the Pickers were using twigs and other fuel they had gathered while they waited on the mountainside but sooner than later we’d have to use some wood from the unnatural trees if we wanted fire. Malady had dried dung and her own twigs she was carrying in her large pack but she wasn’t keen on sharing.

I don’t think anyone slept well that night surrounded by the warm, damp air and lacking anything familiar. Not even Malady had brought a tent so if it rained we’d all be out in the downpour and uncomfortable, but I’m sure sleeping inside one would have been even more stifling. Prevna and I hadn’t brought ours along when we insisted on escorting the injured since we hadn’t thought we’d need it and it would have been a burden to carry when we need to be stealthy but now it did seem like a waste to have abandoned it with a Picker band we barely knew.

It took me hours to fall asleep that night and when I did monstrously long fingers wrapped around my throat and face again. I wanted to turn and see who was holding me, strike at them for daring to do so, but my body wouldn’t move.

That voice that I vaguely recalled from another dream like grinding earth and hissing breath spoke from behind me. Pressing me with questions. “What do you look for? What do you yearn for?”

I couldn’t answer. Wouldn’t have been able to even if one long finger wasn’t pressed across my lips even as its fingernail pricked my ear.

Healing always came to mind first but that no longer felt like the complete truth. Prevna came to mind next—the terrifying and unspoken need for her safety and trust and support and absolutely nothing else.

But that didn’t seem like the answer the voice was looking for either. It pressed me further.

“What do you wish to be? What do you strive to become?”

There was only answer I could give: a whisper woman. There was simply no other choice at this point. But that didn’t seem to be enough for the voice. It spoke again like it could hear my thoughts.

“Where is the detail? What faction? What position? What boon or skill would you define yourself by? What do you wish for?”

I couldn’t answer. I knew what path she had wanted me to follow: to usurp Lithunia, the High Preistess and take her place as one of the Chosen. The idea of it had some appeal but I couldn’t say I actually wanted to be so close to the goddess’s eye. But other than that I hadn’t actually taken time to plan, to think about what else I could aim for.

The fingers tightened around my face and neck. “What binds you?”

I woke up with a start and glanced around to see if anyone else had noticed. Only Nine Claws was awake and she sat with her back to the low burning embers that remained of the fire. Still, she did seem to notice that I was awake as she shifted to glance me before murmuring, “Take the watch until dawn. It shouldn’t be too long now.”

I pushed down the need to glare at her for the sudden demand and nodded. I wasn’t sure if she knew I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep easily after the nightmare or if she was simply ready to get more sleep herself, but either way being difficult wouldn’t be helpful and I didn’t want to disappoint her after Mishtaw had went so far as to call in a favor to get her here.

As soon as she determined I was in place and properly paying attention to our surroundings, Nine Claws laid down on her bedroll and seemed to fall asleep within moments.

My hand clenched into a fist. The nightmare was still as clear as the first. The incessant questions and the last one that lingered with me after I awoke.

I knew what bound me. I was still treating becoming a whisper woman like I had treated gaining every scrap of healer’s knowledge. Desperately trying to increase my skills and prove myself worthy of more tidbits even as there was the uncomfortable certainty in the background that somehow, someway in the future I would lose everything I gained. Whisper women were not healers. Everyone knew that but I had clung to what I learned anyway to try to make the impossible possible for as long as I could.

Now I was clinging to my skill with shadow walking and tactics to prove I was capable of learning whatever came next with no real thought to where I might end up as whisper women. Part of that had to do with the mentor ban but, even if I didn’t want to admit it, part of it also had to do with it being difficult for me to picture myself as a full whisper woman. It felt as if I’d be trapped in some unending near death or on the wrong side of the goddess’s ire and have my blessing and everything else stripped from me again.

I wrestled with those thoughts until the fog brightened enough to indicate that the sun had risen. By then the others were waking and I pasted a blank look on face so no one could guess that a mere nightmare was disturbing me.