So, what’s been bugging you boss?

Once again a female voice stabbed into his mind and once again Joe tried to ignore it. Ever since he took back that insane knight, his skills appeared to be conspiring against him. The act of renewing her slave contract caused all sorts of annoyances. Like that noise inside his noggin. Worse yet, after turning her into an elf and upgrading her class to a dark knight, Savile’s affinity towards him went off the charts. The litany of boons her affection granted them appeared to have no end.

Joe?

Telepathy being one of the gifts.

“Switch!”

Joe called from the top of Savile’s back and the others running ahead of them swapped their places around them.

Akin to birds in the sky, he had them run in formation while fully transformed into their most feral form. One at the front slicing into the air, the others following in her wake. According to the ding-ding it let the ones following save up to half the stamina. Well, all but the knight. In her case it went beyond ludicrous. While having Joe on her back, her stamina hardly fell so if she stuck to the middle, just behind others, she could run without stopping while others cycled through the ranks.

On Joe’s call, Alia, the current leader fell back and rested running at the end while Neira took her place.

“Don’t push it, keep the pace!”

He called again when bedwarmer tried to outrun the rest of the pack. Well, if she wasn’t his slave Joe would consider her recent antics a form of jealousy. Like this pointless showing off of her speed. He already knew she was the fastest. He was the one that doctored her skills and, well, he also made some other alterations but nothing that would cause this kind of behavior. What was she jealous of?

He caught her stealing a glance his way and a growl reached his ears. So far only Savile could share his mind. Perhaps that and the fact he’s been riding her for the past two days made the other furball edgy?

[Murderous aura detected!]

Yup, that and being a feral probably did a number on her mind. Joe sighed, toggling through his map. They’ll be stuck in feral mode for at least few more hours before they’ll get anywhere near that town. Perhaps he should cut it short, break a camp somewhere out here and just stroll into that town tomorrow? What he sensed from his toys felt at least troubling.

He did check countless times for any demerits before adding a full feral form to their abilities and found none but, maybe spending so much time as a four legged beast wasn’t doing favors to their minds? Especially when it came to Neira, her mind seemed exceptionally fragile. Even though she no longer suffered from any mind altering spells, her personality felt fractured around the edges. Sometimes he said or did something that triggered one of her uncomfortable memories. Like that time she hasn’t notice him and bumped into his side. He just finished setting up their campfire and still held a long stick he used to poke the embers. When their eyes met, Neira’s mind switched off and fear was the only thing that left behind her eyes. It took hours to calm her.

Do not worry too much about it Joe. She just needs to sort it out. All will settle when she claims her place.

Don’t you ever shut up?

He fired back a thought at his knight, digging his nails into Savile’s neck and pulling at her fur, hoping it would at least register through her pain resistance.

[ You have dealt 0 dmg to your target. ]

And His hand hurt now. Dammit. He could bash her head with a sledgehammer and would probably dent the thing. That bonehead’s aura was enough to deflect arrows. If all her skills triggered she could probably sleep through taking a nuke point blank but worse of all…

I can wear a muzzle for you if that’s your thing, boss.

Savile’s voice purred inside his head. Worst of all, he hasn’t met a bigger pervert than her while her defense skills made it neigh impossible for him to discipline her without resorting to some overly creative ways. She was nothing but a recipe for a disaster.

No need for all that angst, boss. I’ll behave…

“Enough! We’ll stop here!”

Joe ordered, swallowing another curse that came to his lips.

“All of you, human form until I say otherwise. I’ll see fur on any of you and there’ll be no food for either of you.”

He dropped to the sand and began unpacking their tents and other camp supplies.

“Oh, thank be the gods… Those fleas were killing me…”

Alia moaned as her body morphed back into her two legged self. Even though he saw it countless times already and even tested it himself, Joe still couldn’t take his eyes away from her as her fur fell off and turned to dust, her body shrank and her limbs reformed. She was the first to assume her most human appearance and often the last to become a feral.

“Not gods, goddess.”

Joe corrected her and cast a glance at the row of naked bodies panting in the sand.

“Huh?” There was no understanding on either of their faces. Bedwarmer as per usual had the most trouble going back to her less fluffy self.

“Thanks be the goddess. She worked hard to make it all possible. I believe some faith or at the very least a thank you is in order.”

He explained watching fur recede from Neira’s shapely ass. It took her longer than others but the results were much to his liking. He spoiled her with a head pat. She earned that with her show and, well it was safer to pamper her with some little things from time to time to keep her busy. Bored or jealous fur ball was an annoying fur ball.

“Faith doesn’t work that way, boss”

His trusty tin can once again tried to sabotage his efforts.

“Well that’s nonnegotiable. If you want to call the god’s names at the very least call the right ones.”

“Forgive me Joe but I already had my fill of gods. Even if it comes from you I don’t intend to flirt with another one.”

“Sure, I can’t order you to believe in a god but I can make you reflect on that part of yourself. So, reflect, all of you, until you find god.”

His words caused a massive groan as his order registered on his slave’s status screens. All but Lae, his saintness of dark in the making, seemed annoyed by such request. Well there was also the Loirra but she was nothing but inconvenient baggage so he mostly ignored her. Mostly.

Joe cast a quick glance at the borrowed saint and scrolled through her status. Nothing abnormal there. Good. The last thing he needed was her elder god causing him trouble.

But Lae, Lae was a different issue altogether. Like, you just can’t have an atheist saint. An issue that came up when she got time to cool down and think her life through. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in gods or their slimy friend. On the contrary, she had the rare opportunity to meet her if-all-goes-well new goddess between the adrenaline of being set aflame on a stake went away, she developed an aversion to everything god-related.

“I’m sorry, I just… I can’t.”

She mumbled when their eyes met.

“Sure you can. You Just need some time alone in a cave of solitude to do some hermity stuff.”

“Hermity stuff?”

“Yea, like starring at a wall, getting wasted on shrooms and such. Ya know the fun stuff.”

Looking more than a little scared, she gazed to other women. Her eyes pleading with Savile to get that whacko off her tail.

“First of all boss, I’m sure it doesn’t work like that, and secondly where do you want to find a cave? There’s nothing but sand here.”

“Why would you waste your time in a cave when we have something better!”

“Better?”

Savile massaged her temples. She knew that shine in his eyes.

“Yup. Here! this is the only in existence Da B’uket of Solitude much better than any cave you can find and fully mobile.”

[* Ding!* yourecived a Da B’uket of Solitude, your personal cave meant for soul searching on the move. (or so he says…) Put it on your head and search for enlightenment. What’s the worst that can happen you ask? Well, you’ll look like an idiot.]

[ Da B’uket of Solitude, an old rusty bucket with a slight dent and the name scribbled over it with some chalk. You really don’t want to know what it was used for before and what’s that smell. Probability of enlightenment +50% (do keep in mind that 50% of 0 is still 0. No refunds.) ]

“Well, what are you waiting for? chop-chop. put it on.”